# Have you ever been involved in a threesome? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [October 19, 2009, 11:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/have-you-ever-been-involved-in-a-threesome/514408 "2009-10-19T23:13:03Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![gaffa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/e68b1a/32.png) [@gaffa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gaffa)\ **Post date:** [October 21, 2009, 4:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/have-you-ever-been-involved-in-a-threesome/514408/61 "2009-10-21T04:56:39Z")
> [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](#): > > Gang bang and spit roast are perfectly cromulent words and not necessarily sexist. It’s just unfortunate that there’s no analogue for the male versions. Huh? A big pile of gay men would qualify as a “gang bang” and any gay man could be “spit roasted”. > [@](#): > > “Spit roast” is purely a descriptive phrase, incidentally. Think about it. Only if you think of the woman as a piece of meat. While technically true, most people do not like being thought of that way. ---
**Author:** ![panache45](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/panache45/32/64_2.png) [@panache45](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panache45)\ **Post date:** [October 21, 2009, 5:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/have-you-ever-been-involved-in-a-threesome/514408/62 "2009-10-21T05:16:55Z")
> [@Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](#): > > This is incorrect. If you are only having sex with one person, then you are not having a threesome. That’s the difference between a gang bang and a three-way. it’s only a three way if all three people are mutually involved. Who the hell makes these rules? Though my preference is MMM…, I can easily envision an MMF, in which the two guys aren’t interacting with each other. If they are each interacting with the woman in a different way, it would not be as if the other guys isn’t there. Especially since she’d be reacting to both of them at the same time, but differently. I remember being in an MMM in which two of us were attracted to the third guy, but not to each other. It was still very different than if the other guy weren’t there. ---
**Author:** ![furt](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/439d5e/32.png) [@furt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/furt)\ **Post date:** [October 21, 2009, 5:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/have-you-ever-been-involved-in-a-threesome/514408/63 "2009-10-21T05:21:25Z")
> [@DocCathode](#): > > I’m stunned so many people have voted ‘Not Interested’. Other than being in a committed, monogamous relationship, I cannot wrap my head around not wanting to be in a threesome. IMO, they really are overrated; especially if you view sex as an intimate emotional bonding experience, not just something you do because it feels good. ---
**Author:** ![panache45](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/panache45/32/64_2.png) [@panache45](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panache45)\ **Post date:** [October 21, 2009, 5:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/have-you-ever-been-involved-in-a-threesome/514408/64 "2009-10-21T05:25:11Z")
> [@Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](#): > > Being attracted to a cock is the _definition_ of homosexuality. And who the fuck came up with that definition? I am a perfect “6” on the Kinsey scale, but it has nothing to do with any attraction to cocks. In fact, I do not enjoy having anyone’s cock inside any part of me. I am gay because I’m attracted to men, not cocks. ---
**Author:** ![Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e8c25b/32.png) [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Really_Not_All_That_Bright)\ **Post date:** [October 21, 2009, 1:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/have-you-ever-been-involved-in-a-threesome/514408/65 "2009-10-21T13:43:26Z")
> [@gaffa](#): > > Huh? A big pile of gay men would qualify as a “gang bang” and any gay man could be “spit roasted”. I was referring specifically to the “two girls, one guy” analogue, rather than three guys. Should have been clearer, sorry. > [@furt](#): > > IMO, they really are overrated; especially if you view sex as an intimate emotional bonding experience, not just something you do because it feels good. Or even if you do. ---
**Author:** ![Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e99b99/32.png) [@Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Diogenes_the_Cynic)\ **Post date:** [October 21, 2009, 2:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/have-you-ever-been-involved-in-a-threesome/514408/66 "2009-10-21T14:21:29Z")
> [@panache45](#): > > And who the fuck came up with that definition? I am a perfect “6” on the Kinsey scale, but it has nothing to do with any attraction to cocks. In fact, I do not enjoy having anyone’s cock inside any part of me. > > I am gay because I’m attracted to men, not cocks. Would you be attracted to a man with a vagina? ---
**Author:** ![DocCathode](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/doccathode/32/18773_2.png) [@DocCathode](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DocCathode)\ **Post date:** [October 21, 2009, 3:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/have-you-ever-been-involved-in-a-threesome/514408/67 "2009-10-21T15:13:16Z")
> [@Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](#): > > Would you be attracted to a man with a vagina? For anybody who thinks this is purely a hypothetical question, search the web for Buck Angel. ---
**Author:** ![Bearflag70](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/8e7dd6/32.png) [@Bearflag70](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bearflag70)\ **Post date:** [October 21, 2009, 3:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/have-you-ever-been-involved-in-a-threesome/514408/68 "2009-10-21T15:51:03Z")
> [@DocCathode](#): > > For anybody who thinks this is purely a hypothetical question, search the web for Buck Angel. Well, that’s different. ---
**Author:** ![bup](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/6bbea6/32.png) [@bup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bup)\ **Post date:** [October 21, 2009, 4:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/have-you-ever-been-involved-in-a-threesome/514408/69 "2009-10-21T16:44:53Z")
> [@gaffa](#): > > > [@](#): > > > > “Spit roast” is purely a descriptive phrase, incidentally. Think about it. > > Only if you think of the woman as a piece of meat. While technically true, most people do not like being thought of that way. It’s SEX. If this man was in a threesome and got called the meat in a sandwich, he wouldn’t mind - in fact, he’d like being thought of that way. Hell, if two women want to have sex with me at the same time and call me a fuck - not even meat, just a fuck - I’m not going to get all pissy. In fact, I’d have a boner as big as all outdoors. As big as _all outdoors_, do you hear me!? ---
**Author:** ![MeanOldLady](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/meanoldlady/32/10737_2.png) [@MeanOldLady](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MeanOldLady)\ **Post date:** [October 21, 2009, 5:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/have-you-ever-been-involved-in-a-threesome/514408/70 "2009-10-21T17:03:47Z")
> [@gaffa](#): > > My point was that “threesome” or “ménage à trois” is far less sexist and degrading than “spitroast” or “gang bang”, and I think many people who have engaged in sex with more than one other person at a time would prefer the term. And defining the less offensive and more accurate term as being exclusively for one particular variation is silly. I don’t disagree with you. I was just commenting on how ridiculous it is that (what I thought was) a simple question about threesomes got derailed into great debate about how many dudes can be in the room before it’s considered something else. Were there three people involved? Great, then it’s a threesome. ---
**Author:** ![Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e8c25b/32.png) [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Really_Not_All_That_Bright)\ **Post date:** [October 21, 2009, 5:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/have-you-ever-been-involved-in-a-threesome/514408/71 "2009-10-21T17:18:11Z")
Oh, fine. I just think we need words for each specific scenario. It’s a crime that the language of Shakespeare doesn’t have a word to describe each combination of holes one can be poked in, and/or each specific appendage can be used for such pokery. ---
**Author:** ![History\_Geek](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/b19c9b/32.png) [@History\_Geek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/History_Geek)\ **Post date:** [October 21, 2009, 5:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/have-you-ever-been-involved-in-a-threesome/514408/72 "2009-10-21T17:36:06Z")
Hey, let’s stop all the pointless chatter about defining threesomes so we can hear all the juicy details from the four ladies who responded as participants in FFF sexual encounters. I wonder if three of these women were in the _same_ session. Hot hot hot Doper-on-Doper-on-Doper action! ---
**Author:** ![BleizDu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/9dc877/32.png) [@BleizDu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BleizDu)\ **Post date:** [October 21, 2009, 8:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/have-you-ever-been-involved-in-a-threesome/514408/73 "2009-10-21T20:01:11Z")
Before seeing this poll I had totally forgotten I was involved a handful of years ago in a threesome with two other female-to-male transpersons. It was a fun night! First time having sex with fellow transboys and with folks not born male. As a teen I was also involved in a gay cruising area with two guys but since it was only oral for me it doesn’t really count. ---
**Author:** ![ToeJam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/dfb087/32.png) [@ToeJam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ToeJam)\ **Post date:** [October 21, 2009, 9:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/have-you-ever-been-involved-in-a-threesome/514408/74 "2009-10-21T21:20:26Z")
**Doc** … … Wow. I got nothing. That’s something you don’t really see everyday. ---
**Author:** ![AndrewL](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/3d9bf3/32.png) [@AndrewL](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AndrewL)\ **Post date:** [October 22, 2009, 12:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/have-you-ever-been-involved-in-a-threesome/514408/75 "2009-10-22T00:57:20Z")
My wife and I have had a few, with a (male) friend of hers, some years ago. It was a semi-annual thing until the science fiction convention near him shut down. They were fun. Would do it again if my wife wanted to. It was a MMF threesome, but the other man and I never did anything directly to each other that could be considered sex. That might make it not a threesome by some definitions. On the other hand having sex with someone else watching and participating, though not directly with me, is different than the two of us having separately had sex with her. I still consider that to count that as a threesome, even if it’s just the exhibitionism/voyeurism aspect the third person adds. ---
**Author:** ![needscoffee](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/needscoffee/32/1076_2.png) [@needscoffee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/needscoffee)\ **Post date:** [October 22, 2009, 1:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/have-you-ever-been-involved-in-a-threesome/514408/76 "2009-10-22T01:12:58Z")
Do horses count? ---
**Author:** ![needscoffee](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/needscoffee/32/1076_2.png) [@needscoffee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/needscoffee)\ **Post date:** [October 22, 2009, 1:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/have-you-ever-been-involved-in-a-threesome/514408/77 "2009-10-22T01:15:14Z")
> [@AndrewL](#): > > My wife and I have had a few, with a (male) friend of hers, some years ago. It was a semi-annual thing until the science fiction convention near him shut down. Was it in costume? Kirk, Spock and Uhura? Who got to be Uhura? ---
**Author:** ![rhubarbarin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/eb9ed0/32.png) [@rhubarbarin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rhubarbarin)\ **Post date:** [October 22, 2009, 1:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/have-you-ever-been-involved-in-a-threesome/514408/78 "2009-10-22T01:26:43Z")
No, and not interested. I’m in a LTR now, and only had one sexual partner before. My man and I would never consider such a thing, and in the future, if we weren’t together, I wouldn’t enjoy having sex with another person besides a committed partner. I’m just… vanilla. No problem. And no, having sexual contact with a person of the same sex does not make you ‘gay’. In my book: Only having sex/relationships with the same sex=homosexual. Only having sex/relationships with the opposite sex=heterosexual. Having sex/relationships with both sexes at different times in your life=bisexual, experimental period, or product of circumstances (prison, the navy, etc) ---
**Author:** ![gaffa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/e68b1a/32.png) [@gaffa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gaffa)\ **Post date:** [October 22, 2009, 5:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/have-you-ever-been-involved-in-a-threesome/514408/79 "2009-10-22T05:25:39Z")
> [@needscoffee](#): > > Was it in costume? Kirk, Spock and Uhura? Who got to be Uhura? No, **AndrewL** said this was at a _Science Fiction_ convention. ---
**Author:** ![matt\_mcl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/7ab992/32.png) [@matt\_mcl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/matt_mcl)\ **Post date:** [October 22, 2009, 6:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/have-you-ever-been-involved-in-a-threesome/514408/80 "2009-10-22T06:09:34Z")
> [@Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](#): > > Would you be attracted to a man with a vagina? Would, nothing; I am. And, for what it’s worth, I’m not attracted to women in the corresponding situation. Seriously, for you, is it just the vagina? Aren’t you attracted to the woman? Would you be attracted to a man with a vagina, just because he had one? [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/have-you-ever-been-involved-in-a-threesome/514408.md?page=3) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/have-you-ever-been-involved-in-a-threesome/514408.md?page=5)