# Have You Ever Been Mistaken for "The Help"? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [December 17, 2014, 6:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/have-you-ever-been-mistaken-for-the-help/707509 "2014-12-17T18:58:44Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Ulfreida](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ulfreida/32/8014_2.png) [@Ulfreida](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ulfreida)\ **Post date:** [December 18, 2014, 1:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/have-you-ever-been-mistaken-for-the-help/707509/41 "2014-12-18T01:04:44Z")
> [@handsomeharry](#): > > If the black male his age was wearing a suit, the President is hallucinating. And, if he’s not hallucinating, he’s lying/making it up. I’ll apologize for reading the above as a contemptible rationalization if you tell me you aren’t a white male. ---
**Author:** ![ZenBeam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/3ab097/32.png) [@ZenBeam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ZenBeam)\ **Post date:** [December 18, 2014, 1:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/have-you-ever-been-mistaken-for-the-help/707509/42 "2014-12-18T01:09:50Z")
> [@iiandyiiii](#): > > Where does she say she takes umbrage or is insulted? Why are you putting words into their mouths? Telling a story about your experience doesn’t mean you’re saying “this was a terrible horrible racist experience and I’m so insulted!” – it’s just relating a story. The title of the article is **Obamas on Race: We’ve Been Treated Like the Help**. The article reads > [@](#): > > The first lady also described being mistreated at a Target store in suburban Washington, during a shopping trip she took in 2011. > “Even as the first lady,” she told the magazine, “during the wonderfully publicized trip I took to Target, not highly disguised, the only person who came up to me in the store was a woman who asked me to help her take something off a shelf.” It’s not “just relating a story”, it’s being used as a point in advancing the thesis of the article, which is that “President and Michelle Obama personally identify with everyday experiences of racial bias in America that have underpinned recent protests across the country”. It’s not a particularly good point, though. Looking at how she is dressed, I’d find it hard to believe someone thought she was working there. I agree that _she_ isn’t quoted as taking umbrage, and that, really, it seems the quote would be more appropriate in a story about how approachable she was. But that isn’t how it’s being presented in the article by the author. ---
**Author:** ![iiandyiiii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/iiandyiiii/32/7924_2.png) [@iiandyiiii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/iiandyiiii)\ **Post date:** [December 18, 2014, 1:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/have-you-ever-been-mistaken-for-the-help/707509/43 "2014-12-18T01:11:09Z")
> [@ZenBeam](#): > > The title of the article is **Obamas on Race: We’ve Been Treated Like the Help**. The article reads > It’s not “just relating a story”, it’s being used as a point in advancing the thesis of the article, which is that “President and Michelle Obama personally identify with everyday experiences of racial bias in America that have underpinned recent protests across the country”. > > It’s not a particularly good point, though. Looking at how she is dressed, I’d find it hard to believe someone thought she was working there. I agree that _she_ isn’t quoted as taking umbrage, and that, really, it seems the quote would be more appropriate in a story about how approachable she was. But that isn’t how it’s being presented in the article by the author. The comments I was responding to were specifically about what the Obamas said. I pointed out that the Obamas didn’t in fact say the stuff the poster said they did. ---
**Author:** ![DinoR](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dinor/32/2821_2.png) [@DinoR](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DinoR)\ **Post date:** [December 18, 2014, 1:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/have-you-ever-been-mistaken-for-the-help/707509/44 "2014-12-18T01:40:28Z")
It’s hard to get much more pasty white than I am. This has happened on numerous occasions to me. I’ve also been asked to help get things off high shelves at an even higher rate. I always assumed the high things requests are based on profiling…based on height since I’m taller than either of the Obamas. Sometimes when asked I can be remarkably helpful. The funniest was a store that I actually had worked at during college doing night stock. It happened to be in an item that was in an aisle that was “mine” for a while. They got\*\*\* very\*\*\* detailed directions before my disclaimer about not being sure if it moved since I worked there. ---
**Author:** ![Magiver](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/4491bb/32.png) [@Magiver](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Magiver)\ **Post date:** [December 18, 2014, 2:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/have-you-ever-been-mistaken-for-the-help/707509/45 "2014-12-18T02:03:37Z")
> [@iiandyiiii](#): > > Asked is different than assumed. I imagine it’d be a bit different if someone just handed you keys and said “easy on the paint job”. uh huh. If someone asks me where something is that’s an assumption. ---
**Author:** ![handsomeharry](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/e9c0ed/32.png) [@handsomeharry](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/handsomeharry)\ **Post date:** [December 18, 2014, 2:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/have-you-ever-been-mistaken-for-the-help/707509/46 "2014-12-18T02:11:30Z")
> [@Ulfreida](#): > > I’ll apologize for reading the above as a contemptible rationalization if you tell me you aren’t a white male. I’ll apologize for reading the above as a obscene rationalization if you tell me you are a white Republican. ---
**Author:** ![The\_Second\_Stone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/bbe5ce/32.png) [@The\_Second\_Stone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Second_Stone)\ **Post date:** [December 18, 2014, 2:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/have-you-ever-been-mistaken-for-the-help/707509/47 "2014-12-18T02:13:53Z")
> [@BrotherCadfael](#): > > I’m a 6’5" white guy, and I get mistaken for a store employee fairly often. My fondness for polo shirts and khakis may explain it, however. 6’2" and 52 year old white male in polo and khakis and it happens often to me too. Best Buy, Lowe’s, Costco are where it happens most. I help them out the best I can. I find it hilarious. ---
**Author:** ![Orwell](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/dfb087/32.png) [@Orwell](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Orwell)\ **Post date:** [December 18, 2014, 2:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/have-you-ever-been-mistaken-for-the-help/707509/48 "2014-12-18T02:37:07Z")
> [@Chefguy](#): > > Your political views are irrelevant to the thread. Read the original post. It’s the point of the thread, not irrelevant at all. Or is a non-PC, non-liberal viewpoint the problem? ---
**Author:** ![TruCelt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/trucelt/32/523_2.png) [@TruCelt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TruCelt)\ **Post date:** [December 18, 2014, 3:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/have-you-ever-been-mistaken-for-the-help/707509/49 "2014-12-18T03:06:21Z")
Many times people in negotiations have looked past my male employees and asked whether I would be taking notes for the meeting. It’s not a mistake they make twice, but it has continued to happen well into the 21st century. My Mother’s Great Grandmother was an African slave. My Mother has olive skin and dark brown wiry hair. My brother and I favor the Irish side of our family, with blue eyes, fair skin and as children we both had white/blond hair. In the Summertime, when she was tanned, my Mother was regularly mistaken for our Nanny. ---
**Author:** ![Pai325](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/c68b51/32.png) [@Pai325](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Pai325)\ **Post date:** [December 18, 2014, 3:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/have-you-ever-been-mistaken-for-the-help/707509/50 "2014-12-18T03:49:48Z")
I have been mistaken for a worker in a store and for a hostess in a restaurant. I have mistaken other people for workers in stores. I have asked someone tall who happens to be in the aisle with me to get things down from higher shelves, even when I knew they didn’t work there. They were just able to reach. Since I usually eat at Chipotle or Subway, I’ve never mistaken anyone for a valet because those places don’t have them. ---
**Author:** ![Nava](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/da6949/32.png) [@Nava](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nava)\ **Post date:** [December 18, 2014, 3:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/have-you-ever-been-mistaken-for-the-help/707509/51 "2014-12-18T03:53:45Z")
I am mistaken by an employee all the time, including in locations where employees wear uniforms that look nothing like my clothes. But then, my family in general seems to be adopted by little kids, old ladies, lonely people, dogs, or asked for directions, with unusually high frequency. We figure we look knowledgeable and approachable, which isn’t a bad thing at all. When I was a kid, some of the neighbors thought I was the nanny. I was a teen and wore no school uniform, my brothers were a lot younger, and any time those neighbors saw me I was either toting a kid or grocery bags. ---
**Author:** ![johnpost](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/f17d59/32.png) [@johnpost](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/johnpost)\ **Post date:** [December 18, 2014, 5:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/have-you-ever-been-mistaken-for-the-help/707509/52 "2014-12-18T05:00:40Z")
the president was talking about some recent successes and said. “It’s my time to shine”. someone took that literally. ---
**Author:** ![Rick\_Kitchen](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rick_kitchen/32/522_2.png) [@Rick\_Kitchen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rick_Kitchen)\ **Post date:** [December 18, 2014, 5:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/have-you-ever-been-mistaken-for-the-help/707509/53 "2014-12-18T05:14:12Z")
I am brown-haired and have somewhat dark, but white skin, and I was mistaken for a native in Spain by two American tourists. Does that count? ---
**Author:** ![Loach](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/loach/32/350_2.png) [@Loach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Loach)\ **Post date:** [December 18, 2014, 5:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/have-you-ever-been-mistaken-for-the-help/707509/54 "2014-12-18T05:49:04Z")
At the beginning of the school year my daughter was mistaken by one of her teacher’s as the new student aide. She had to say, “No I’m not. I’m 14 years old and a freshman.” She does look like an adult. Dammit. ---
**Author:** ![Ambivalid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/a5b964/32.png) [@Ambivalid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ambivalid)\ **Post date:** [December 18, 2014, 6:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/have-you-ever-been-mistaken-for-the-help/707509/55 "2014-12-18T06:27:35Z")
I was sitting (in my wheelchair) outside a gas station, waiting for a tow truck and I was mistaken for a panhandler and given pocket change. What was that?? Ableism? 😃 ---
**Author:** ![pullin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/c57346/32.png) [@pullin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pullin)\ **Post date:** [December 18, 2014, 11:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/have-you-ever-been-mistaken-for-the-help/707509/56 "2014-12-18T11:12:05Z")
The missus and I are extremely frugal (at least compared to the rest of the US) and very good money managers. Sparing the details, this allowed us to buy in a neighborhood considerably above our “station”. Example: I am a lowly cubicle-drone for UberMegaCorp, and our company prez lives a few streets away in our same 'burb. Anyway, shortly after moving in a neighbor drove past and saw me, pickup and overalls, repairing the fence. She rolled down her window, pointed to my house, and asked: “What are they paying you an hour? I need a new handyman.” ---
**Author:** ![Idilia\_Dubb](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/c2a13f/32.png) [@Idilia\_Dubb](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Idilia_Dubb)\ **Post date:** [December 18, 2014, 11:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/have-you-ever-been-mistaken-for-the-help/707509/57 "2014-12-18T11:56:48Z")
I had flown from the States to Germany for a family funeral. The next day I was traveling, dressed in my black funeral dress, on a Rhine passenger ship, the kind that has a restaurant and bar onboard. Waitresses in Germany typically wear black and a group of four German _Trinkbrueder_ (good ol’ boys) mistook me for a member of the bar staff. They clamored repeatedly for me to bring them beer. They were goodnatured but persistent and it took me several minutes to convince them that I wasn’t an employee. ---
**Author:** ![Idilia\_Dubb](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/c2a13f/32.png) [@Idilia\_Dubb](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Idilia_Dubb)\ **Post date:** [December 18, 2014, 12:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/have-you-ever-been-mistaken-for-the-help/707509/58 "2014-12-18T12:18:31Z")
> [@pullin](#): > > The missus and I are extremely frugal (at least compared to the rest of the US) and very good money managers. Sparing the details, this allowed us to buy in a neighborhood considerably above our “station”. Example: I am a lowly cubicle-drone for UberMegaCorp, and our company prez lives a few streets away in our same 'burb. > > Anyway, shortly after moving in a neighbor drove past and saw me, pickup and overalls, repairing the fence. She rolled down her window, pointed to my house, and asked: “What are they paying you an hour? I need a new handyman.” The classic answer to this situation is, “No pay, but I get to sleep with the lady of the house.” ---
**Author:** ![Zsofia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/7bcc69/32.png) [@Zsofia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zsofia)\ **Post date:** [December 18, 2014, 1:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/have-you-ever-been-mistaken-for-the-help/707509/59 "2014-12-18T13:58:40Z")
I’m white and I guess I get it fairly frequently, which is odd because I’m always carrying a purse, you know? Happens very frequently in librarians at which I am not a librarian, but hey, I help 'em anyway. I suppose I’ve gotten librarian face the same way as people start to look like their pets. In the library I DO work in, while sitting behind a desk, wearing a name tag, people often ask “do you work here?” One day I shall say “no” and just stare at them. ---
**Author:** ![Anaamika](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Anaamika](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anaamika)\ **Post date:** [December 18, 2014, 3:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/have-you-ever-been-mistaken-for-the-help/707509/60 "2014-12-18T15:02:18Z")
> [@Ambivalid](#): > > I was sitting (in my wheelchair) outside a gas station, waiting for a tow truck and I was mistaken for a panhandler and given pocket change. What was that?? Ableism? 😃 I’m dying to know if you kept the change. 😃 I can’t think of any occasion where I was assumed to be the help because of my color, but I am not black! That doesn’t mean someone else’s experiences are not true. I don’t get this attitude of “Well, it didn’t happen to me, so it clearly never happens.” [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/have-you-ever-been-mistaken-for-the-help/707509.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/have-you-ever-been-mistaken-for-the-help/707509.md?page=4)