# Have you ever cheated on your partner? Or been an enabler of cheating? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [July 11, 2013, 8:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/have-you-ever-cheated-on-your-partner-or-been-an-enabler-of-cheating/663253 "2013-07-11T20:29:04Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 3\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Loach](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/loach/32/350_2.png) [@Loach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Loach)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2013, 1:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/have-you-ever-cheated-on-your-partner-or-been-an-enabler-of-cheating/663253/21 "2013-07-12T13:21:55Z")
I enabled the fuck out of someone once. I don’t know what kind of relationship she had, don’t know him. I’m not proud of it but its her responsibility to take care of her relationship. Maybe she was and that’s what she needs to do. Regardless, it was a bad time post-divorce and I would have jumped into bed with anyone. Happened a few times and was over long ago. ---
**Author:** ![RedBloom](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/dbc845/32.png) [@RedBloom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RedBloom)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2013, 2:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/have-you-ever-cheated-on-your-partner-or-been-an-enabler-of-cheating/663253/22 "2013-07-12T14:23:00Z")
> [@pyromyte](#): > > No. > > And I don’t mean this in a threatening way at all, but you should be careful about being the “other guy.” People KILL over this kind of stuff. You said yourself that you were furious when it happened to you and that you did a lot of stupid shit that you regret. Not everyone has your level of restraint. So if the simple immorality of the whole mess doesn’t bother you, maybe you should care that you don’t wind up maimed or killed. > > The whole “It’s ok. You screwed up,” and seeing past this “one mistake” thought process is IMHO naive. Unless you have a very non-traditional view on marriage (and I know quite a few people on this board do), it is NOT that easy. Betrayed spouses often have symptoms of PTSD, they lose weight, can’t sleep, have disturbing “mind movies,” can’t function at work, etc. Think about it… The one person in the world you thought you could trust, that supposedly loved and cared about you, just tossed you aside without regard for what they promised. For most people, it hurts, and it hurts a lot. For me it was the worst I have ever felt, including losing my dad to cancer. > > No, I have never cheated; however, I have managed to forgive cheating. That being said, the behavior is immoral and it disgusts me (for either the cheater or the “other person”). A mature person in a traditional marriage is committed to their partner, and doesn’t betray them because they meet someone that is super attractive, things are rough at home, or for any other reason. They have self control, and they don’t cheat. VERY well said. I suffered immensely after I found out my husband was being unfaithful. 5 years later, and I’m on so many medications and have been through so much therapy I don’t know which end is up. Yes, we’re still married. No clue if he’s continued to see other women behind my back either, he travels extensively so I don’t doubt it. ---
**Author:** ![Zeke\_N.Destroi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/4af34b/32.png) [@Zeke\_N.Destroi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zeke_N.Destroi)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2013, 4:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/have-you-ever-cheated-on-your-partner-or-been-an-enabler-of-cheating/663253/23 "2013-07-12T16:46:44Z")
I have been cheated on twice. Worst emotional pain I’ve ever experienced. That did not stop me from enabling a woman to step-out on her husband. One time only. Not proud, not ashamed - just one of those things I’ve done. Won’t do it again. I never have and - barring extremely exceptional circumstances - I never will cheat. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/have-you-ever-cheated-on-your-partner-or-been-an-enabler-of-cheating/663253.md?page=1)