# Have you ever ditched or been ditched on a date? **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [July 26, 2012, 7:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/have-you-ever-ditched-or-been-ditched-on-a-date/629481 "2012-07-26T19:10:07Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Musicat](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/musicat/32/20189_2.png) [@Musicat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Musicat)\ **Post date:** [July 27, 2012, 2:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/have-you-ever-ditched-or-been-ditched-on-a-date/629481/21 "2012-07-27T02:38:53Z")
> [@billfish678](#): > > I honestly hope I am being whoosed. I was whoosed once. It was a memorable performance. ---
**Author:** ![twickster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ec9cab/32.png) [@twickster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/twickster)\ **Post date:** [July 27, 2012, 3:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/have-you-ever-ditched-or-been-ditched-on-a-date/629481/22 "2012-07-27T03:04:34Z")
> [@keturah](#): > > Sounds like passive aggressive attention seeking to me. It seems like you would be better off thanking them and ending the night early. What do I know though? I have never walked in your single mother, abortion needing shoes. Stay classy, lady! **keturah** , this is out of line for MPSIMS. If you have a problem with another poster, take it to the Pit. No warning issued. **twickster** , MPSIMS moderator ---
**Author:** ![billfish678](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/7bcc69/32.png) [@billfish678](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/billfish678)\ **Post date:** [July 27, 2012, 3:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/have-you-ever-ditched-or-been-ditched-on-a-date/629481/23 "2012-07-27T03:09:41Z")
> [@hajario](#): > > Oops. That last sentence should have read, “ **It** was awesome.” 🆒 Dude (or dudette). Did ya really need to quote your WHOLE post to fix the last sentence? 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![carnivorousplant](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnivorousplant/32/3563_2.png) [@carnivorousplant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnivorousplant)\ **Post date:** [July 27, 2012, 3:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/have-you-ever-ditched-or-been-ditched-on-a-date/629481/24 "2012-07-27T03:13:15Z")
> [@Soylent\_Juicy](#): > > I can see if the other person is being abusive (some of those stories are scary!) getting out and away for your own safety, but if the date is just a jackass isn’t it super-douchy to just leave them hanging? Not I, but a woman I was with for several years was a kid at a movie theater with her date who leaned over and whispered, “I love your beautiful green eyes.” Her eyes were brown. She excused herself to go to the restroom and called her Daddy from a pay phone to come get her. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Curiosity\_Kills\_Her](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/8c91f0/32.png) [@Curiosity\_Kills\_Her](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Curiosity_Kills_Her)\ **Post date:** [July 27, 2012, 3:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/have-you-ever-ditched-or-been-ditched-on-a-date/629481/25 "2012-07-27T03:33:07Z")
I’ve been on one real ‘date’ and in hindsight ditching that guy would have been preferable to the Lifetime Movie script my life turned into afterward, thanks to him. That said, ditching someone is completely against my nature. I wouldn’t feel good about myself, and I think it’s a shitty thing to do to another human being. ---
**Author:** ![carnivorousplant](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnivorousplant/32/3563_2.png) [@carnivorousplant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnivorousplant)\ **Post date:** [July 27, 2012, 3:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/have-you-ever-ditched-or-been-ditched-on-a-date/629481/26 "2012-07-27T03:51:54Z")
> [@CalMeacham](#): > > My cousin and his GF , having heard me complain about my miserable social life, set me up with a date. all four of us went to a party. At the party, my date went home with someone else. > They apologized _profusely_ to me all the way home. > I wasn’t rude, inattentive, or abusive on the date, I assure you. To this day I don’t know why she went off with someone else. I did date the daughter of one of my Father’s friends. At a later date, where she recruited someone for my buddy to double date, she was having lunar problems, and James and I traded girls. (Or Debbie and Virginia traded guys.) Everyone was happy. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![buckgully](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/eb9ed0/32.png) [@buckgully](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/buckgully)\ **Post date:** [July 27, 2012, 3:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/have-you-ever-ditched-or-been-ditched-on-a-date/629481/27 "2012-07-27T03:58:02Z")
I mentioned to a friend of mine that I thought her coworker was very pretty, so my friend set me up with her a few days later. About 5 minutes into the date it became clear that she was kinda racist. I tried to give her the benefit of the doubt because she was from a small town and new to the big city. I was able to keep that particular fiction going for a little while, then managed to steer the conversation into non-racial territory. After the uncomfortable dinner we were walking down the street and two people walked by speaking Chinese. She yelled something like “Speak in English when you’re in America!” or something equally dumb, and started yelling fake ‘Chinese’ at them. I almost ditched her right then and there, but I figured I’d be the primary suspect when her body was dredged up from the bottom of the river. Then, on the way to my car, we bumped into some friends of hers. They wanted us to join them at some bar a couple blocks away. I waited last in line as we went in, then when I got to the bouncer I claimed to have forgotten my ID and said I’d go home to get it. Never went back. ---
**Author:** ![amanset](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/8dc957/32.png) [@amanset](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/amanset)\ **Post date:** [July 27, 2012, 8:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/have-you-ever-ditched-or-been-ditched-on-a-date/629481/28 "2012-07-27T08:30:18Z")
Never ditched anyone because, frankly, I have social skills. Been ditched once by a militant vegan (as in breaking into farms to release pigs) when the conversation fell apart due to me starting to talk about - without knowing yet she was a vegan - my checklist on what animals it is morally OK to eat (mustn’t be endangered, mustn’t have been abused - and I concede that people have differing views of what “abuse” is). After her going on a mile a minute, including a lovely bit about how a philosopher once said that pigs on a train reminded her of Jews on the way to camps (because as we know, everything a philosopher says is always right) she said “I am going to leave now”. I simply replied with “yeah, you probably should” and went back to my pint. ---
**Author:** ![CairoCarol](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cairocarol/32/3825_2.png) [@CairoCarol](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CairoCarol)\ **Post date:** [July 27, 2012, 9:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/have-you-ever-ditched-or-been-ditched-on-a-date/629481/29 "2012-07-27T09:18:15Z")
In the distant past, I briefly dated the social director of an MIT fraternity, and I had quite a crush on him. He invited me to a dance at the fraternity and all was normal for the first hour or so … then, with no warning, he cut me off completely. It was literally as if we had never met … he started working the room, dancing with a lot of other girls, and looked right through me, if he even looked in my direction at all. It was quite upsetting, though his frat brothers rallied around me and said “don’t mind him, he’s kind of a jerk with girls … we’ve seen him do exactly this same thing before”. That helped a little. But I was awfully hurt and disappointed. ---
**Author:** ![Cicero](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cicero/32/3594_2.png) [@Cicero](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cicero)\ **Post date:** [July 27, 2012, 10:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/have-you-ever-ditched-or-been-ditched-on-a-date/629481/30 "2012-07-27T10:42:35Z")
> [@Farmer\_Jane](#): > > I usually just bring a book on a first date. If I don’t like the guy, I start reading it. During or after sex? ---
**Author:** ![Antigen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/848f3c/32.png) [@Antigen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Antigen)\ **Post date:** [July 27, 2012, 10:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/have-you-ever-ditched-or-been-ditched-on-a-date/629481/31 "2012-07-27T10:53:52Z")
I didn’t date very much in my youth, but I did stand up a blind date once. We met on a dating site, chatted for a week or two and then decided to have coffee. I picked a spot downtown, easy to get to, and easy to escape from if the evening got miserable. He had two or three profile pictures up on the dating site, so I thought I would be able to recognize him once I arrived, but he offered to wear a red sweater and bring me a rose, so I wouldn’t be able to miss him. I got to the cafe a little late, having misjudged the efficiency of the Metro, and rushed inside, scanning the room. Only one person was wearing a red sweater, but he didn’t look like the profile pictures. This guy was easily ten years older than the guy in the pictures, and on the heavier and balder side. Initially I thought my date was also late, and I’d wait at the door for him and we could laugh about how I panicked and thought he was this weirdo who put up really old pictures of himself on dating sites because he wasn’t comfortable showing his real self. Then I saw the rose beside Red Sweater Man’s coffee. I left. ---
**Author:** ![Slithy\_Tove](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/slithy_tove/32/18248_2.png) [@Slithy\_Tove](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Slithy_Tove)\ **Post date:** [July 27, 2012, 11:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/have-you-ever-ditched-or-been-ditched-on-a-date/629481/32 "2012-07-27T11:16:53Z")
It thread has been a real epiphanizer for me. Of course it’s happened to me, and I hated it. I realize that strangers have no emotional investment in each other, but still… But rather that get all depressed or misanthropic about this, I now realize something: I put a lot of effort into my dating profile to convey that I’m a good man. My first date/first face-to-face meeting “get to know each others” have always been a sit & chat; with, again, the intention of conveying that I’m a good man. But finally the light bulb comes on: I see a lot of women’s profiles that read “I want to have _fun." Many if not most. I see zero which say "I want to have 'good._’” No wonder people get up to use the bathroom and don’t come back, or abruptly say “Nice meeting you, I have to leave,” or whatever. Yes, they are selfish and lack social skills, but besides that; they had expectations that were not being met. I’m done with dismissing their expectations as being unrealistic, or thinking them as fickle women who won’t invest in any one prospect since there are thousands of others on the dating website (Yes, the concept of “I want to find the very best out of an endless stream of choices” is illogical; because the stream never ends so how would you ever know who’s the best?) But it’s not facillitating anyone’s breaking out of that mindset by sitting and talking over dinner. In that, I’ve been guilty of unrealistic expectations myself, and of being conceited in thinking my conversation is all that fucking interesting Therefore, for my next dating prospect I hereby resolve to invite her to go zip-lining or wave-runnering something else that is fun, nay thrilling. So the people whose profile photos show them in kayaks or Harleys are right. Yes, women do want a sweet, loyal, sexually-enthusiastic-but-not-piggy guy; but before that they want to be pushed out of airplanes or dragged behind speedboats. ---
**Author:** ![Antigen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/848f3c/32.png) [@Antigen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Antigen)\ **Post date:** [July 27, 2012, 1:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/have-you-ever-ditched-or-been-ditched-on-a-date/629481/33 "2012-07-27T13:02:07Z")
> [@Slithy\_Tove](#): > > So the people whose profile photos show them in kayaks or Harleys are right. Yes, women do want a sweet, loyal, sexually-enthusiastic-but-not-piggy guy; but before that they want to be pushed out of airplanes or dragged behind speedboats. That definitely doesn’t apply to all women. My first date with the man who became my husband was a marching band concert and then eggs and pancakes at a diner. I guess if the woman’s profile shows her to be an adventure-seeker, then yes, try something more exciting, but you can’t generalize “women” like that. \*Plenty \*of women enjoy a “sit-and-chat” date. ---
**Author:** ![hajario](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hajario/32/171_2.png) [@hajario](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/hajario)\ **Post date:** [July 27, 2012, 1:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/have-you-ever-ditched-or-been-ditched-on-a-date/629481/34 "2012-07-27T13:06:18Z")
> [@Antigen](#): > > That definitely doesn’t apply to all women. My first date with the man who became my husband was a marching band concert and then eggs and pancakes at a diner. I guess if the woman’s profile shows her to be an adventure-seeker, then yes, try something more exciting, but you can’t generalize “women” like that. \*Plenty \*of women enjoy a “sit-and-chat” date. Of course they do. That other post was sadly bitter and speaks more about the poster than it does about women. ---
**Author:** ![carnivorousplant](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnivorousplant/32/3563_2.png) [@carnivorousplant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnivorousplant)\ **Post date:** [July 27, 2012, 1:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/have-you-ever-ditched-or-been-ditched-on-a-date/629481/35 "2012-07-27T13:09:18Z")
> [@hajario](#): > > Of course they do. That other post was sadly bitter and speaks more about the poster than it does about women. Hey! I can be as sadly bitter as the next guy! 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Musicat](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/musicat/32/20189_2.png) [@Musicat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Musicat)\ **Post date:** [July 27, 2012, 1:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/have-you-ever-ditched-or-been-ditched-on-a-date/629481/36 "2012-07-27T13:16:22Z")
I have never been a ditchor or a ditchee. If I am on a date, I feel responsible for the welfare of my date, even if things aren’t going well, and unless there were highly unusual circumstances involved, can’t imagine abandoning them without warning. I guess I’m just A Truly Nice Guy. ---
**Author:** ![Slithy\_Tove](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/slithy_tove/32/18248_2.png) [@Slithy\_Tove](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Slithy_Tove)\ **Post date:** [July 27, 2012, 1:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/have-you-ever-ditched-or-been-ditched-on-a-date/629481/37 "2012-07-27T13:18:22Z")
> [@hajario](#): > > Of course they do. That other post was sadly bitter and speaks more about the poster than it does about women. If you’ll concede that I was using ironic humor to skewer the attitude in my post, I’ll concede that your post used ironic humor as well, to skewer those who put patting themselves on the back as the main point of the critical/analytical process. ---
**Author:** ![hajario](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hajario/32/171_2.png) [@hajario](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/hajario)\ **Post date:** [July 27, 2012, 1:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/have-you-ever-ditched-or-been-ditched-on-a-date/629481/38 "2012-07-27T13:20:36Z")
> [@Slithy\_Tove](#): > > If you’ll concede that I was using ironic humor to skewer the attitude in my post, I’ll concede that your post used ironic humor as well, to skewer those who put patting themselves on the back as the main point of the critical/analytical process. Done. :brofist: ---
**Author:** ![billfish678](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/7bcc69/32.png) [@billfish678](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/billfish678)\ **Post date:** [July 27, 2012, 1:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/have-you-ever-ditched-or-been-ditched-on-a-date/629481/39 "2012-07-27T13:37:08Z")
> [@Slithy\_Tove](#): > > So the people whose profile photos show them in kayaks or Harleys are right. Yes, women do want a sweet, loyal, sexually-enthusiastic-but-not-piggy guy; but before that they want to be pushed out of airplanes or dragged behind speedboats. Yeah but all those TV ads I see seem to imply you gotta take some kind of medicine before you can enjoy all these exciting activities. I’ve never ditched (not that I had many chances mind you). And circumstances would have to be pretty darn dire before I would even consider it, much less doing it. A couple of times I have been stood up at the last minute for bullshit reasons (of course I guess that threw up a big she’s a flake flag so maybe that was the best thing in the long run), one of which caused me to waste a 3 day weekend. And I’ve never been ditched so I guess I ain’t way creepy or hideous 🙂 Which reminds me of this whole deception thing when it comes to internet dating. Why mislead significantly about anything? Your just wasting both peoples time and you’ll get to be rejected in person which has got to be more emotionally painful than being rejected before the process has barely even started. ---
**Author:** ![Chimera](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/8e8cbc/32.png) [@Chimera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chimera)\ **Post date:** [July 27, 2012, 1:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/have-you-ever-ditched-or-been-ditched-on-a-date/629481/40 "2012-07-27T13:42:18Z")
> [@Slithy\_Tove](#): > > but before that they want to be pushed out of airplanes or dragged behind speedboats. This could be read oh so wrong. 😛 [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/have-you-ever-ditched-or-been-ditched-on-a-date/629481.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/have-you-ever-ditched-or-been-ditched-on-a-date/629481.md?page=3)