Have you ever gotten the "Grandma/Grandpa, I'm in jail" scam call?

Yeah, that’s my policy (well, I have an old answering machine and not voice mail, but same principle). If somebody isn’t willing to leave a message then it’s not important enough for me to bother with and has a good chance of being a scam.

That said, I’ve never had anyone try this scam on me, nor would it work as I’m childless.

I don’t know that either, but the second time, I got such a call, I asked, “Which granndson?” They answered with my name, so they must have known my name and their best guess was that I had a grandson named after me–I don’t. I whispered (I thought) to my wife, “I’m gonna have some fun with these guys.” But they must have heard me because they hung up.

The first time, the call purportedly came from the office of a lawyer in Ottawa. My “grandson” explained that he had stupidly drank and drove, I stupidly blurted out, “Keenan?” and agreed. Then he explained that he judge would release him if I sent him–I don’t know how much, say $1000–by buying a gift certificate over the phone. So I was supposed to go out immediately and buy this gift certificate and call this lawyer and read him the number. I was beginning to be a bit suspicious, so I looked up online whether there was a lawyer in Ottawa with that name and phone number. Of course there wasn’t. A half hour later they called back to ask why I hadn’t called. I said there was no lawyer of that name in Ottawa and they hung up.

I didn’t, but my grandmother did. She didn’t fall for it.

I got one–only once! I’ve never even been married or had children, so I said to the caller, “Ya’ got the wrong number!” I don’t have any grandchildren! I do have grand nieces however.

She back-traced it and reported it to the cyber police!

The folks actually calling you may well be indentured or actual slaves. It’s the organised crime behind them that are the real scum.

I know this, and I meant the crime bosses who are responsible for the scams.

My grandchildren, if I had any, would all still be in the single-digit age group. And I’m another one who doesn’t answer the phone when strangers call – “strangers” being anyone who isn’t one of the six or seven people on my phone list.

They’re counting on the cognitive decline. My own mom doesn’t remember our actual relationship most of the time now, so she’d probably be ripe for such a scam. Luckily, she’s in a place where she can’t be scammed very easily by these methods. Others are not so fortunate.

I wonder to what extent numbers in area codes with a high percentage of retirees are the ones targeted. My inlaws lived in Ocala, FL (a very popular area for retirees) and like I mentioned, my MIL had gotten several of these calls over the years. Whereas I live in southern Maryland and I’ve never gotten such a call. I’m inclined to believe that Arizona area codes are also getting lots of such scammy calls.

AI is getting scary get at some of this stuff.

I haven’t, but my sister fell for it years ago. She sent off a Western Union money order for a couple of thousand to bail out her grandson, and only then thought to call her daughter to see if the kid was okay. Rushed back to WU, and while they sympathized, there was no way to cancel the money. What they DID do was send a telegram instructing the receiving entity to require six pieces of identification. So she ended up not losing any money, just her dignity.

I got the old “Son/Daughter, I’m in jail!” scam call once, but I shut that down faster than a cat at a dog show. The one that really got my goat—and also gave me a hearty chuckle—was the “police are currently speeding toward your house to arrest you for tax evasion” routine.

According to “Special Agent Steve Martin” (heavy South-Asian accent, suspiciously not a hint of SNL), from the Department of the Treasury (headquartered in New York City—not DC, as I thought), the police were speeding toward my house to lock me up in prison (Sing Sing, no doubt) without a trial I suppose, for skipping out on last year’s taxes. And torture was not out of the question! The only way out of this dastardly predicament? Obviously, a stack of gift cards worth five grand. (Because, as everyone knows, the IRS can’t handle actual cash—far too primitive.)

I was trembling so hard I nearly dropped my underpants at the thought of torture in the big house. So I did what any upstanding citizen would do: I immediately confessed all my sins. My upbringing was pitiful, my marriage was worse, my kids were worst of all; I had vices galore—drugs, porn, gambling—you name it, I ‘fessed up. I threw in my involvement with dog-, cat-, and cock-fighting for good measure. As I rattled on, poor Special Agent Steve kept trying to interrupt, probably to reel me back to the part where he demanded money… er, gift cards. But I was on a come-to-Jesus roll.

In the end, sure, I wasted my own time… but I also wasted an epic chunk of Special Agent Steve’s. Those precious minutes he spent listening to my saga could have been used to con some other unsuspecting victim. At least I came away with a good laugh—he definitely didn’t. That, friends, is my small but satisfying victory in the war against scammers.

I got one of those one time. I’d already heard about the scam, so I had an answer ready. “You mean I’ll be in jail, where I can just sit around and relax, away from all the people at work who are always making unreasonable demands on me, and bill collectors and crappy neighbors and phone scammers? How long do I get to stay there? Can you get in touch with the guys who are coming to get me and tell them to hurry it up faster?”

The gift card thing is what gets me the most.

Do people really believe the new payment system for the government is Apple Gift Cards?

Well, Chief Justice Roberts of The USA of the Supreme Court Company has an ATM card worth of 2,000,000,000 Billions of USD. And all I have to do is send a delivery fee of $50 USD by Western Union to someone in Nigeria.
I’ve gotten this one way more than several times.

Wow, 2,000,000,000 Billions? Couldn’t he spare a couple thousandths of one percent of his wealth and pay off the national debt?

Yeah, in Japanese it’s the 俺俺 scam and it was really big in the news.

ATMs have warnings about it and you have to click past them to transfer money.

My wife got a scam call from a Mandarin speaker before but the caller had a mainland accent instead of Taiwanese. Not that she would have fallen for it anyway.

Similarly, I once got an e-mail from somebody with whom I served on the board of directors of a local non-profit organization. She claimed that she needed to get a gift card for her niece for her birthday, but couldn’t get out because of her age and the weather (she was elderly and lived in a rural area and it was winter, and we were going through a cold snap). Something smelled funny, so I checked our directors’ contact list, and telephoned her.

I had to leave a message, but she called me back a few hours later. She had been out because she needed to go into the city to get a few things, and no, she did not need a gift card for her niece. In fact, she had no niece. A few nephews, but no nieces.

Glad I checked with her before taking any action.

I got one of the “need to buy a gift card” emails from my “brother” a few years ago. He never emailed me and I wouldn’t have fallen for it anyway. But the kicker was that it was signed with his full name. Yeah, absolutely something a brother would do. By the time I let him know, he was already dealing with the hacking of his email.