# Have you ever had really delicious revenge? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [August 21, 2014, 6:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/have-you-ever-had-really-delicious-revenge/696118 "2014-08-21T18:29:52Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 19\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![CairoCarol](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cairocarol/32/3825_2.png) [@CairoCarol](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CairoCarol)\ **Post date:** [August 26, 2014, 8:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/have-you-ever-had-really-delicious-revenge/696118/61 "2014-08-26T08:06:55Z")
I’ve probably told this one before…but one New Hampshire winter day many years ago, I had an errand to do by car. As I drove toward town, a kid threw an ice chunk at my car, hard enough that it left a dent. I had the remainder of my trip to ponder what would be a way to get back at him. Since the errand was a quickie, I figured there was a good chance the kid would still be there when I returned. The question was - since I had no intentions of attempting to physically engage him, what could I do that would totally piss him off? I realized that he was accompanied by a dog that was not on a leash, and figured out my plan. Sure enough, as I drove by going home, he threw more ice at my car. So I rolled down the window and yelled at him, “ **Do that again, asshole, and I’ll run over your dog.** ” Of course, I would never actually run over the innocent dog. But my goal was to make the moron kid feel impotently furious. I’m fairly sure I succeeded. ---
**Author:** ![JKellyMap](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jkellymap/32/15880_2.png) [@JKellyMap](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JKellyMap)\ **Post date:** [August 26, 2014, 9:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/have-you-ever-had-really-delicious-revenge/696118/62 "2014-08-26T09:33:44Z")
Shagnasty, wow. That’s a profound and epic story, well told. Thanks. ---
**Author:** ![Les\_Espaces\_Du\_Sommeil](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/les_espaces_du_sommeil/32/308_2.png) [@Les\_Espaces\_Du\_Sommeil](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Les_Espaces_Du_Sommeil)\ **Post date:** [August 26, 2014, 10:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/have-you-ever-had-really-delicious-revenge/696118/63 "2014-08-26T10:11:16Z")
> [@MacCat](#): > > Something over thirty years ago (my oldest wasn’t born), we were driving back to Long Island from upstate NY. Had a nice day driving, picnicking and whatnot. Anyway, I’m driving 5-10 over, in the right lane and this guy starts some pretty extreme tailgating even though the passing lane is wide open for him to use. After a few miles of this, I told my wife to get out the leftover tube of liverwurst. Scooping it out of the casing, she molded it to a nice tennis ball size. I pulled over into the left lane, slowed down until he was right next to us and halfway out the passenger window, she winged a fastball strike directly on his driver side window. The look on his face before the splat was priceless. As he hit the brakes hard, I signaled, moved back into the right lane and resumed at the speed limit. I wanted him to have every chance to catch up, though we just saw his headlights receding behind us. I always wondered what he thought the substance actually was. :eek: This reminds me of something that a family friend once did. He was in a rest area, ready to get on his motorbike when he spotted a family in a car parked nearby. They were eating hamburgers and fries. As he was walking past them, he saw them throw all of their trash out of the windows (greasy napkins, half-eaten food, coke cans). They then immediately drove off. He picked it all up, jumped on his motorbike and caught up with them at the next red light. It was a warm day so they’d kept their windows open. Just as the light was about to turn green, he said “I think this belongs to you” and threw everything on the driver’s lap. ---
**Author:** ![Princhester](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/3e96dc/32.png) [@Princhester](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Princhester)\ **Post date:** [August 26, 2014, 10:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/have-you-ever-had-really-delicious-revenge/696118/64 "2014-08-26T10:42:25Z")
A woman in Brisbane did that with the contents of a guy’s ashtray that he had just emptied out his car window. She was convicted of some minor offence, as I recall, though there was a lot of community sympathy for her actions. ---
**Author:** ![VunderBob](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/839c29/32.png) [@VunderBob](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/VunderBob)\ **Post date:** [August 26, 2014, 11:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/have-you-ever-had-really-delicious-revenge/696118/65 "2014-08-26T11:03:45Z")
Many years ago, when my kid still wore diapers, we took him to the county fair. When we were leaving, we discovered some moron in an old pickup truck had parked us in, and there was no way to get out. I looked the pickup over, and hatched a plan. Somehow, I scrounged a long wire and fishhooked the door locks. I took the truck out of gear (manual trannie), and with some help pushed it out of the way so my wife could get the car out. with the truck in the driving lane so it blocked traffic, I put it back in gear, set the parking brake, turned on everything electric that I could including the headlights, and finally locked the doors. I’ll never know the outcome, but I hope the fair board towed is ass and he went to impound to find a very dead battery. ---
**Author:** ![Obeseus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/bbce88/32.png) [@Obeseus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Obeseus)\ **Post date:** [August 26, 2014, 11:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/have-you-ever-had-really-delicious-revenge/696118/66 "2014-08-26T11:31:49Z")
> [@Princhester](#): > > I don’t know about you but where I come from when turning you give way to all traffic. I suspected you would turn out to be thoroughly in the wrong and I was correct. Wrong again. Where I come from, anyone turning gives way to those who have the right of way. In this case, that would be anyone traveling south on the main road in which I was travelling north and about to turn northwest. They approached the intersection and, without checking traffic, rode across another road (while being on the wrong side of the road.) > [@](#): > > Even idiots don’t dump bicycles unless they are put in a position where they have to make a panic stop. Clearly, you created a dangerous situation by turning across someone so sharply they had to panic stop. Right. So a guy rides a bike on the wrong side of the road, crosses another road at an intersection without even checking the traffic situation, the driver adjusts to avoid a collision, but it’s the driver’s fault the guy dumped his bike? I didn’t turn ‘so sharply.’ Since the main road becomes the main drag of downtown with lots of traffic and a stoplight at every block, I figured these guys were on the wrong side of the road so they could turn northwest on the side road. That way they would be on the left (wrong) side of the road, turn left (remaining on the wrong side of the road) but do so without having to cross a street or cut across a driving lane (and they could do so relatively safely without even checking the traffic situation.) It doesn’t really make any sense to cross that road and continue on that main road as it turned out was their intent. Because I’m not a mind-reader, I was cautious. I wrote, “I slowed down more than usual while approaching the turn,” above. Was I supposed to stop in the middle of the main road? On that road, with no oncoming vehicles, it would have been a good way to get rear-ended by the guy behind me had I stopped (and possibly for no reason if those guys had turned left at the intersection.) Everyone entering an intersection, no matter who has the legal right of way, has an obligation to check out the traffic situation. Those guys didn’t do that; I did. ---
**Author:** ![Cinnamon\_Imp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/58956e/32.png) [@Cinnamon\_Imp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cinnamon_Imp)\ **Post date:** [August 26, 2014, 11:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/have-you-ever-had-really-delicious-revenge/696118/67 "2014-08-26T11:58:30Z")
> [@VunderBob](#): > > Many years ago, when **my kid still wore diapers,** we took him to the county fair. When we were leaving, we discovered some moron in an old pickup truck had parked us in, and there was no way to get out. > > I looked the pickup over, and hatched a plan. Somehow, I scrounged a long wire and fishhooked the door locks. I took the truck out of gear (manual trannie), and with some help pushed it out of the way so my wife could get the car out. with the truck in the driving lane so it blocked traffic, I put it back in gear, set the parking brake, turned on everything electric that I could including the headlights, and finally locked the doors. > > I’ll never know the outcome, but I hope the fair board towed is ass and he went to impound to find a very dead battery. I was really hoping for “and a full ripe diaper waiting on the driver’s seat on a hot day” at the end of that! ---
**Author:** ![VunderBob](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/839c29/32.png) [@VunderBob](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/VunderBob)\ **Post date:** [August 26, 2014, 12:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/have-you-ever-had-really-delicious-revenge/696118/68 "2014-08-26T12:01:38Z")
> [@Cinnamon\_Imp](#): > > I was really hoping for “and a full ripe diaper waiting on the driver’s seat on a hot day” at the end of that! He was changed 10 minutes before we headed to the parking lot. We thought of it, though… ---
**Author:** ![Push\_You\_Down](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/push_you_down/32/9095_2.png) [@Push\_You\_Down](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Push_You_Down)\ **Post date:** [August 26, 2014, 7:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/have-you-ever-had-really-delicious-revenge/696118/69 "2014-08-26T19:27:05Z")
> [@Cinnamon\_Imp](#): > > That was all? She \*looked \*at you, so you swore at her and vandalised her property? > > Dude, she probably lived alone, and just looked out very day to make sure it was just the schoolkids passing by her house, and not anyone more suspicious sneaking around. Yeah…the kids are not the heroes of that story at all. ---
**Author:** ![Enright3](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/enright3/32/2897_2.png) [@Enright3](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Enright3)\ **Post date:** [August 26, 2014, 7:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/have-you-ever-had-really-delicious-revenge/696118/70 "2014-08-26T19:43:01Z")
> [@lost4life](#): > > \*This took place before the revelations of child molesting priests, so it didn’t sound skeevie then. What the hell are you talking about? It doesn’t sound “skeevie” now. :rolleyes: ---
**Author:** ![astorian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ad7895/32.png) [@astorian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/astorian)\ **Post date:** [August 26, 2014, 7:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/have-you-ever-had-really-delicious-revenge/696118/71 "2014-08-26T19:44:27Z")
There have only been a few people in my life who ever hurt me or angered me enough to THINK about ways of getting revenge. Luckily, in all those cases, the anger and hurt subsided before I ever attempted to take any kind of revenge. I’m pretty sure my vengeance would have been limited to some petty, mean vindictive, stupid practical joke that I would have been ashamed of later. I’m glad I never actually tried to put one of my stupid revenge schemes into practice. ---
**Author:** ![lost4life](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/c4cdca/32.png) [@lost4life](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lost4life)\ **Post date:** [August 26, 2014, 8:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/have-you-ever-had-really-delicious-revenge/696118/72 "2014-08-26T20:27:07Z")
> [@Enright3](#): > > What the hell are you talking about? It doesn’t sound “skeevie” now. :rolleyes: Chill the hell out. Some people might find a strange priest approaching them and discussing how they’ve been observing their child’s behavior a bit skeevie. If you the hell don’t, then hell, fine. :rolleyes::rolleyes::rolleyes: back at ya. ---
**Author:** ![handsomeharry](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/e9c0ed/32.png) [@handsomeharry](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/handsomeharry)\ **Post date:** [August 27, 2014, 10:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/have-you-ever-had-really-delicious-revenge/696118/73 "2014-08-27T22:07:33Z")
> [@Princhester](#): > > So, you were in an accident with a cyclist in which you were largely at fault, they mouthed off and later you committed criminal assault. > > Is this a revenge story or just a story about road rage? It sounds like revenge to me, which is what the thread is about. ---
**Author:** ![Weftover](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Weftover](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Weftover)\ **Post date:** [August 28, 2014, 12:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/have-you-ever-had-really-delicious-revenge/696118/74 "2014-08-28T00:50:50Z")
My sister-in-law and I have not gotten on well in many years, but once upon a time we did. On one of those occasions, late at night alone and in the dark, we exchanged some confidences that we were both sure the rest of the family would have had vapors or worse over. Fast forward many years, and she and I got into a disagreement that rapidly degenerated into some ugly. She threatened to disclose my secret to my mother, just sure that it would do me loads of damage (it was an abortion 30 years past); she apparently did not remember that she had confessed to me that she’d had an affair in the early days of her marriage to my brother. I told her that she could go ahead and say anything she liked; that I was certain that the news was too long ago to do me any damage, but on the other hand, I would NEVER DREAM of disclosing her secret. She of course had no way of knowing that I was being honest; I would not tell. But she shut up, stopped ragging on me, and has not spoken to me since (hurrah!). She also has not let out any secrets of mine. I think that counts as revenge; it sure felt like it. ---
**Author:** ![Whatever4](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/f04885/32.png) [@Whatever4](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Whatever4)\ **Post date:** [August 28, 2014, 1:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/have-you-ever-had-really-delicious-revenge/696118/75 "2014-08-28T01:57:35Z")
> [@MaxTheVool](#): > > So, DID you know his secret? It’s a better story if you didn’t even know if there WAS a secret and just said “I know your secret…”. I didn’t know there was a secret until I found his previous divorce papers. At the appropriate time I quite innocently:rolleyes: asked “Why didn’t you tell me [blah blah].” He never saw it coming. And I knew then that he wouldn’t contest anything. It was that big a secret. ---
**Author:** ![handsomeharry](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/e9c0ed/32.png) [@handsomeharry](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/handsomeharry)\ **Post date:** [August 28, 2014, 2:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/have-you-ever-had-really-delicious-revenge/696118/76 "2014-08-28T02:59:26Z")
> [@Princhester](#): > > I don’t know about you but where I come from when turning you give way to all traffic. I suspected you would turn out to be thoroughly in the wrong and I was correct. > > Even idiots don’t dump bicycles unless they are put in a position where they have to make a panic stop. Clearly, you created a dangerous situation by turning across someone so sharply they had to panic stop. In between the first quote and the second quote, you left out the quote where he said “I stopped.” ---
**Author:** ![Obeseus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/bbce88/32.png) [@Obeseus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Obeseus)\ **Post date:** [August 28, 2014, 3:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/have-you-ever-had-really-delicious-revenge/696118/77 "2014-08-28T03:48:47Z")
> [@handsomeharry](#): > > In between the first quote and the second quote, you left out the quote where he said “I stopped.” Exactly, and BTW, I slowed a bit at the intersection until I could turn. The guys on bikes weren’t even in my sight line, but I had made a mental note that they had been back there on my left (probably because I ride a lot myself.) I turned slowly, they never stopped. It’s all good, though. I got REVENGE!!! ---
**Author:** ![vsyr](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/bc8723/32.png) [@vsyr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/vsyr)\ **Post date:** [August 28, 2014, 5:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/have-you-ever-had-really-delicious-revenge/696118/78 "2014-08-28T05:10:04Z")
My revenge on my cheating ex of 2 years was about a year after the break up when I realised my new gf was a thousand fold better suited to myself and that my aforementioned ex was absolutely psychotic. Woe is me for believing that “all women are crazy” and spending 2 years with her in the first place. ---
**Author:** ![gigi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/a587f6/32.png) [@gigi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gigi)\ **Post date:** [August 28, 2014, 2:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/have-you-ever-had-really-delicious-revenge/696118/79 "2014-08-28T14:47:55Z")
> [@lost4life](#): > > Chill the hell out. Some people might find a strange priest approaching them and discussing how they’ve been observing their child’s behavior a bit skeevie. If you the hell don’t, then hell, fine. > :rolleyes::rolleyes::rolleyes: back at ya. Sorry, but it’s like any stranger commenting on a well-behaved child. It happens now and then and it’s not skeevy. And if you have a priest as a family friend, it’s too bad you aren’t more sympathetic to all priests being painted one way based on the bad actions of a few. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/have-you-ever-had-really-delicious-revenge/696118.md?page=3)