# Have you ever known a sex worker? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [February 19, 2015, 5:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/have-you-ever-known-a-sex-worker/713071 "2015-02-19T05:56:20Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Ambivalid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/a5b964/32.png) [@Ambivalid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ambivalid)\ **Post date:** [February 20, 2015, 1:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/have-you-ever-known-a-sex-worker/713071/41 "2015-02-20T01:54:24Z")
I’ve known countless sex workers. Call them what you will, “strippers”, “escorts”, “prostitutes”, “call girls”, whatever. There was a time in my life, many years ago, where I frequented many of these workers. It was a very dark time in my life and I’m happy to say it is well in my past. However, I do have a fair bit of knowledge about the illicit sex trade operation. Yes, _some_ women, who are very, very high scale and often educated, will seek such opportunites strictly as ways of benefitting their lives financially. But these women represent a _tiny_ minority of all the pay-for-sex workers out there. The vast majority of sex workers are driven to their profession out of desperation. And by desperation, I mean addiction. If I had to give a rather uneducated guess, I’d put percentages of sex workers who are compelled to their work out of drug addictions to be about 95% of all sex workers. And for the sake of this post, I am leaving out Asian massage parlors and the like, because I have no experience with this and this is more of a coercion into sex work issue than most prostitution IME (unless you consider having to feed a drug addiction a form of coercion) I have no statistical figures, of course, but also there is some realistic truth to the idea that just about no woman/girl would willingly let a strange man stick his penis in her mouth or fuck her in the ass, unless that woman/girl was in a position in her life where she felt so desperate to get the money to get her drugs, this was the only way. ---
**Author:** ![Hector\_St\_Clare](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/b5ac83/32.png) [@Hector\_St\_Clare](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hector_St_Clare)\ **Post date:** [February 20, 2015, 4:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/have-you-ever-known-a-sex-worker/713071/42 "2015-02-20T04:19:05Z")
> [@Ambivalid](#): > > (unless you consider having to feed a drug addiction a form of coercion) > > I have no statistical figures, of course, but also there is some realistic truth to the idea that just about no woman/girl would willingly let a strange man stick his penis in her mouth or fuck her in the ass, unless that woman/girl was in a position in her life where she felt so desperate to get the money to get her drugs, this was the only way. While this is probably true of the sketchiest kind of prostitution, I think it’s probably much less true of the high- or moderate-end kind of sex work (i.e. ‘soft’ prostitution, not just high end escorts but like the college sugar baby type thing) where they can select their clients, get taken out in style, etc… While there are probably few people who in a perfect world would blow Joe Q. Phonebook if they weren’t desperate, there are definitely women (and men, I guess) out there who like sex, and like money, and especially like sleeping with wealthy guys who give them money. This probably covers a fair amount of the women in places like Cuba who date rich foreign tourists for a week or whatever, and also a fair amount of the college students who date rich guys for money. ---
**Author:** ![Kaio](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/c68b51/32.png) [@Kaio](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kaio)\ **Post date:** [February 20, 2015, 9:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/have-you-ever-known-a-sex-worker/713071/43 "2015-02-20T09:38:57Z")
Have I known sex workers? Yes. Prostitutes? No. One who made part of her living with a poly/kink focused podcast. I’ve met a couple pro-dommes, though only in passing. I met them because I’m an artist so my circles tend to overlap with various other fringe communities. Why were they doing it? Money and/or attention, probably, but I never asked. Their attitude towards it ranged from “look at me!” enthusiasm to professionalism. I never knew anything of their personal histories, but with podcast girl had the misfortune to discover that she most definitely has some sort of personality disorder – histrionic or narcissistic, if I had to take a guess. If you flattered her you were her BEST FRIEND but if she thought you threatened her position as Center of Attention from Everybody At All Times (regardless whether the threat was real) she would find a bus to throw you under and then back over you a few times, just to be sure. Her drama landed on me while I was looking in another direction, and it took WAY too long for me to extricate myself. I’d think I was finally rid of her and she’d show up for another go around. She was flat out insane, but unfortunately stealth insane so you wouldn’t know it unless and until you “crossed” her. ---
**Author:** ![Muffin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/muffin/32/4341_2.png) [@Muffin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Muffin)\ **Post date:** [February 20, 2015, 10:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/have-you-ever-known-a-sex-worker/713071/44 "2015-02-20T10:35:16Z")
I knew a fellow who paid his way through law school as a phone sex worker (lonely female clients) through an escort service. He did it for the money. It was a job of which he was neither proud nor ashamed. He was a well-balanced person in a stable relationship with a woman, and he had no psychological problems or addictions. He quit phone sex work once he finished law school and obtained and articling position. ---
**Author:** ![Ambivalid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/a5b964/32.png) [@Ambivalid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ambivalid)\ **Post date:** [February 20, 2015, 10:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/have-you-ever-known-a-sex-worker/713071/45 "2015-02-20T10:39:46Z")
> [@Hector\_St\_Clare](#): > > While this is probably true of the sketchiest kind of prostitution, I think it’s probably much less true of the high- or moderate-end kind of sex work (i.e. ‘soft’ prostitution, not just high end escorts but like the college sugar baby type thing) where they can select their clients, get taken out in style, etc… While there are probably few people who in a perfect world would blow Joe Q. Phonebook if they weren’t desperate, there are definitely women (and men, I guess) out there who like sex, and like money, and especially like sleeping with wealthy guys who give them money. This probably covers a fair amount of the women in places like Cuba who date rich foreign tourists for a week or whatever, and also a fair amount of the college students who date rich guys for money. Again, this represents a tiny fraction of all prostitutes. EtA: college girls who date rich guys for perks are another tiny minority.of all “sex workers”. This rosy picture of illegal prostitution simply does not exist, anywhere ---
**Author:** ![Count\_Blucher](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/c5a1d2/32.png) [@Count\_Blucher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Count_Blucher)\ **Post date:** [February 20, 2015, 3:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/have-you-ever-known-a-sex-worker/713071/46 "2015-02-20T15:00:27Z")
> [@polar\_bear](#): > > This is not a comment on the mod action or anything. > > But it is very telling (for our society) that implying that someone is engaged to a “smart, incredibly nice, amazingly thoughtful” woman “that you just want to hug”, can be both intended and perceived as an insult. Solely because she once was a sex worker. When I said this story wasn’t mine to tell, I meant it. She’s not related to me, we’ve never hooked up. I’m proud that she managed to build a life after repeated childhood rape at the hands of some of her family members and some of the elders of her creepy extremist protestant church. The short time that she did “club work” was to try to raise cash to run away from home. She would have been the same age as Tracy Lords was in her first film. Another family took her in, and after many decades of therapy, she made it through to a good life on the other side. The End. I’m not sure if even that classy Norm MacDonald could bray and laugh at that one. :dubious: ---
**Author:** ![buddy431](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/6a8cbe/32.png) [@buddy431](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/buddy431)\ **Post date:** [February 20, 2015, 3:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/have-you-ever-known-a-sex-worker/713071/47 "2015-02-20T15:49:51Z")
> [@Urbanredneck](#): > > Wow, some interesting stories. This one was most interesting. > > I just wonder how they labeled the source of said “income”? This is actually an interesting area of case law. The 16th amendment allows the government to tax your income, while the fifth amendment prevents you from being required to testify about your illegal activities. There was a 1927 case, United States v. Sullivan, where a bootlager argued that by paying taxes he would be admitting to his criminal activities. Not so said justice Holmes, you could have reported the income while at the same time claiming your right against self incrimination. [Usually, you can report your illegal earnings for exactly what they are](http://money.cnn.com/2013/02/28/news/economy/illegal-income-tax/). The IRS just wants their money, and they are not allowed to give out return information without a court order, and are not allowed to proactively tip off cops. Now, I’m sure that it still happens illegally sometimes, so you’re probably better off just calling it “other income” and hoping you don’t get audited. ---
**Author:** ![Happy\_Fun\_Ball](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/happy_fun_ball/32/17664_2.png) [@Happy\_Fun\_Ball](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Happy_Fun_Ball)\ **Post date:** [February 20, 2015, 3:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/have-you-ever-known-a-sex-worker/713071/48 "2015-02-20T15:59:56Z")
> [@Ambivalid](#): > > Again, this represents a tiny fraction of all prostitutes. > > EtA: college girls who date rich guys for perks are another tiny minority.of all “sex workers”. This rosy picture of illegal prostitution simply does not exist, anywhere Cite? ---
**Author:** ![Living\_Well\_Is\_Best\_Revenge](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/6bbea6/32.png) [@Living\_Well\_Is\_Best\_Revenge](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Living_Well_Is_Best_Revenge)\ **Post date:** [February 20, 2015, 4:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/have-you-ever-known-a-sex-worker/713071/49 "2015-02-20T16:52:46Z")
> [@Happy\_Fun\_Ball](#): > > Cite? This goes way back. He thinks all sex workers are crack whores basically. ---
**Author:** ![Hector\_St\_Clare](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/b5ac83/32.png) [@Hector\_St\_Clare](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hector_St_Clare)\ **Post date:** [February 20, 2015, 5:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/have-you-ever-known-a-sex-worker/713071/50 "2015-02-20T17:22:33Z")
> [@Ambivalid](#): > > Again, this represents a tiny fraction of all prostitutes. > > EtA: college girls who date rich guys for perks are another tiny minority.of all “sex workers”. This rosy picture of illegal prostitution simply does not exist, anywhere They may be a ‘tiny minority of all sex workers’, but in absolute numbers there are rather a lot of them. At the university where I went to grad school (a flagship Midwestern state university) something like 2% of the girls there were signed up on the Seeking Arrangement site, and I’m told the numbers for a lot of other flagship state schools are similar. ---
**Author:** ![Hector\_St\_Clare](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/b5ac83/32.png) [@Hector\_St\_Clare](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hector_St_Clare)\ **Post date:** [February 20, 2015, 5:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/have-you-ever-known-a-sex-worker/713071/51 "2015-02-20T17:25:01Z")
If you want to classify sugar babys as sex workers, that is, which is dubious. That aside, as the New Zealand survey linked in that other thread points out, there are a lot of women from various walks of life who engage in transactional sex, and they’re not all desperate for money or drugs. There’s a large gray area between dating, marriage, and prostitution, and just because few people would willingly gravitate towards the sleaziest end of the spectrum, doesn’t mean that there are few would would willingly position themselves somewehere toward the middle. ---
**Author:** ![Urbanredneck](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/ea5d25/32.png) [@Urbanredneck](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Urbanredneck)\ **Post date:** [February 20, 2015, 5:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/have-you-ever-known-a-sex-worker/713071/52 "2015-02-20T17:33:43Z")
> [@clairobscur](#): > > A former male prostitute. Was neither proud nor ashamed of it, did it because of the “easy” money, remembered the period as a good time (because of the money and festive lifestyle), didn’t like doing it. > In fact, as much as I’m in favour of legalizing (or liberlizing where it’s already legal) prostitution, I’m pretty certain that the number of prostitutes who _like_ their job is vanishingly small. I’d like to ask. Were you ever worried about disease or assault? ---
**Author:** ![ZPG\_Zealot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/e47c2d/32.png) [@ZPG\_Zealot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ZPG_Zealot)\ **Post date:** [February 20, 2015, 6:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/have-you-ever-known-a-sex-worker/713071/53 "2015-02-20T18:24:08Z")
> [@Ambivalid](#): > > I have no statistical figures, of course, but also there is some realistic truth to the idea that just about no woman/girl would willingly let a strange man stick his penis in her mouth or fuck her in the ass, unless that woman/girl was in a position in her life where she felt so desperate to get the money to get her drugs, this was the only way. Have you ever been to a Spring Break Resort? ---
**Author:** ![ZPG\_Zealot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/e47c2d/32.png) [@ZPG\_Zealot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ZPG_Zealot)\ **Post date:** [February 20, 2015, 6:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/have-you-ever-known-a-sex-worker/713071/54 "2015-02-20T18:35:35Z")
Most of the prostitutes I have known in the United States have been in the lower pay grades. Drug habits and/or the lack of opportunities for better paying work was their motivation. Most did not have happy lives though in many cases their lives weren’t any worse than other people trapped in poverty who did not go into prostitution. In the Balkans, I meet a lot of prostitutes. During the war, they could be anybody from any sort of background. Survival cancels out a lot of religious and cultural background. Among them, I did encounter one set of prostitutes that actually seemed proud of their profession: the ex-camp follower. These were women that had previously been groupies or girlfriends to soldiers who had basically realized that the guys with whom they had been providing domestic work and having sex with were just using them. Once they realized this all subsequent men in their lives were cash upfront. ---
**Author:** ![Happy\_Fun\_Ball](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/happy_fun_ball/32/17664_2.png) [@Happy\_Fun\_Ball](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Happy_Fun_Ball)\ **Post date:** [February 20, 2015, 8:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/have-you-ever-known-a-sex-worker/713071/55 "2015-02-20T20:35:02Z")
[This Washington Post article](http://www.washingtonpost.com/news/the-watch/wp/2014/03/27/lies-damned-lies-and-sex-work-statistics/) says fewer than 15% of sex workers are street walkers FWIW. It is also an interesting read though it does not shed very much light on the demographics of sex workers. ---
**Author:** ![Ambivalid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/a5b964/32.png) [@Ambivalid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ambivalid)\ **Post date:** [February 20, 2015, 8:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/have-you-ever-known-a-sex-worker/713071/56 "2015-02-20T20:37:13Z")
> [@ZPG\_Zealot](#): > > Have you ever been to a Spring Break Resort? Of course I’m not speaking of wild, alcohol fueled craziness and partying. I’m speaking of a way of life. ---
**Author:** ![Ambivalid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/a5b964/32.png) [@Ambivalid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ambivalid)\ **Post date:** [February 20, 2015, 8:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/have-you-ever-known-a-sex-worker/713071/57 "2015-02-20T20:40:52Z")
> [@Hector\_St\_Clare](#): > > While this is probably true of the sketchiest kind of prostitution, I think it’s probably much less true of the high- or moderate-end kind of sex work (i.e. ‘soft’ prostitution, not just high end escorts but like the college sugar baby type thing) where they can select their clients, get taken out in style, etc… While there are probably few people who in a perfect world would blow Joe Q. Phonebook if they weren’t desperate, there are definitely women (and men, I guess) out there who like sex, and like money, and especially like sleeping with wealthy guys who give them money. This probably covers a fair amount of the women in places like Cuba who date rich foreign tourists for a week or whatever, and also a fair amount of the college students who date rich guys for money. Again, in the US, this represents a _tiny_ fraction of “sex workers”. And I’m not referring to street walkers. The internet has exploded an entire new world of independent, low-end prostitution (but nowhere near the level of SWs). ---
**Author:** ![Ambivalid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/a5b964/32.png) [@Ambivalid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ambivalid)\ **Post date:** [February 20, 2015, 8:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/have-you-ever-known-a-sex-worker/713071/58 "2015-02-20T20:43:37Z")
> [@Happy\_Fun\_Ball](#): > > Cite? I’ve made it clear in this thread I have no statistics, just extensive personal experience. > [@Living\_Well\_Is\_Best\_Revenge](#): > > This goes way back. He thinks all sex workers are crack whores basically. What the fuck are you talking about? If this goes “way back”, surely you can dig up a quote of mine supporting this assertion of yours? ---
**Author:** ![Living\_Well\_Is\_Best\_Revenge](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/6bbea6/32.png) [@Living\_Well\_Is\_Best\_Revenge](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Living_Well_Is_Best_Revenge)\ **Post date:** [February 20, 2015, 9:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/have-you-ever-known-a-sex-worker/713071/59 "2015-02-20T21:05:20Z")
> [@Ambivalid](#): > > I’ve made it clear in this thread I have no statistics, just extensive personal experience. > > What the fuck are you talking about? If this goes “way back”, surely you can dig up a quote of mine supporting this assertion of yours? To lazy to go back. I just remember you going on and on about how crack makes people sex maniacs and hookers or something like that. ---
**Author:** ![Sicks\_Ate](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/258eb7/32.png) [@Sicks\_Ate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sicks_Ate)\ **Post date:** [February 20, 2015, 9:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/have-you-ever-known-a-sex-worker/713071/60 "2015-02-20T21:10:40Z")
> [@Living\_Well\_Is\_Best\_Revenge](#): > > To lazy to go back. I just remember you going on and on about how crack makes people sex maniacs and hookers or something like that. Ha, that rings a bell! Been a couple years, too. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/have-you-ever-known-a-sex-worker/713071.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/have-you-ever-known-a-sex-worker/713071.md?page=4)