# Have You Ever Known Any Who Was Stood Up At The Aisle? **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [January 29, 2010, 4:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/have-you-ever-known-any-who-was-stood-up-at-the-aisle/526852 "2010-01-29T04:28:16Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 15\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![jjimm](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/ba8739/32.png) [@jjimm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jjimm)\ **Post date:** [February 1, 2010, 5:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/have-you-ever-known-any-who-was-stood-up-at-the-aisle/526852/41 "2010-02-01T17:35:21Z")
My sister called her wedding off less than one week before. She and her then-fiancé had flown from the US to England where they were to get married, all the venues were booked, many guests were in place in hotels. Turns out she accepted, but changed her mind, but by that time the family-and-friends wedding arrangements boulder was rolling, and she felt pressured to go through with it anyway. Just days before the event she had a tearful chat with my other sister, who told her she should follow her heart. So she did. I found out some time afterwards that when they arrived in England they’d had a huge argument, and he’d punched her in the face. And it wasn’t the first time he’d hit her. So she made the right decision. ---
**Author:** ![StGermain](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/stgermain/32/2868_2.png) [@StGermain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/StGermain)\ **Post date:** [February 1, 2010, 5:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/have-you-ever-known-any-who-was-stood-up-at-the-aisle/526852/42 "2010-02-01T17:49:26Z")
My cousin’s son and his fiancee were set to get married. Family was in from all over the country. The night before the wedding, they told everyone that they weren’t sure they wanted to go through with it. They considered it a Sacrament and a one-shot deal and wanted to be sure they were doing the right thing. The family basically supported their decision, better than a divorce two years down the road. Six months later they did marry and now, about 10 years later, have 4 kids and seem very happy. StG ---
**Author:** ![Ferret\_Herder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/e47774/32.png) [@Ferret\_Herder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ferret_Herder)\ **Post date:** [February 1, 2010, 5:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/have-you-ever-known-any-who-was-stood-up-at-the-aisle/526852/43 "2010-02-01T17:53:30Z")
I was at a wedding of friends where the worried-looking groom made a quick pass through the room where the guests were seated, right before the ceremony was to begin. Turns out the bride had not changed her mind, she was just not in the expected place, but for a minute there, the guests (and groom!) were kind of nervous about whether or not the wedding was going to happen. ---
**Author:** ![alice\_in\_wonderland](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/alice_in_wonderland/32/176_2.png) [@alice\_in\_wonderland](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/alice_in_wonderland)\ **Post date:** [February 1, 2010, 6:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/have-you-ever-known-any-who-was-stood-up-at-the-aisle/526852/44 "2010-02-01T18:23:45Z")
> [@Robot\_Arm](#): > > The invitation did not say RSVP. For future reference, anytime you receive an invitation an RSVP is expected and the proper thing to do, regardless of if you’re attending or not and even if the invitation doesn’t say specifically, and even if there’s not an RSVP card included. Numbers of guests need to be confirmed with venues, planners, caterers, etc. It’s quite rude to just show up (although I suppose in your case the only person hurt by your inattention was you.) ---
**Author:** ![Rack-a-Bones](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/77aa72/32.png) [@Rack-a-Bones](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rack-a-Bones)\ **Post date:** [February 1, 2010, 7:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/have-you-ever-known-any-who-was-stood-up-at-the-aisle/526852/45 "2010-02-01T19:20:28Z")
> [@Tom\_Tildrum](#): > > Slightly off-topic, but I once traveled to attend a wedding that did not happen because the groom died late the night before. The service was turned into a sort of memorial. I was a guest of a guest, so I didn’t know anyone, but it was all kind of surreal. I have to wonder whether that poor bride was raumatized out of ever getting engaged again. If _raumatized_ is not a word, it should be. ---
**Author:** ![Nava](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/da6949/32.png) [@Nava](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nava)\ **Post date:** [February 2, 2010, 9:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/have-you-ever-known-any-who-was-stood-up-at-the-aisle/526852/46 "2010-02-02T09:15:30Z")
Not at the altar, but I had this boss… Let’s see if I can explain her. On one hand she’s, as a person, very career-oriented. She lives for her work and then some. On the other hand, she’s convinced that a woman’s place is hiding behind her husband, holding his glowing halo up. It’s like she’s never really stopped to think about what is it she wants from life; _she_, not her parents, her priest, or the feral cat licking himself at the corner. She officially lives at her parents: I say officially because, being a consultant, she spends a lot more time “away” than “at home.” The living with the parents part isn’t uncommon for an unmarried Spaniard, even in her mid-30s. She’s been “searching for a flat” for eight years. When she started looking for it, she was engaged; after two years of never seeing one she considered even semi-acceptable, her fiancee broke off the relationship. She’s still “searching for a flat,” but she’s searching for the perfect flat and the perfect husband and a way to keep up a 60-70 h/wk work schedule while being the perfect Stepford wife and having three children in four years without carnal knowledge… I’ve never met the guy, but talk about “dodging a bullet.” An ICM, more like! > [@Rilchiam](#): > > For one, he was in Expensive Care, and for two, that’s a helluva lot easier said than done even in a regular hospital room. Interesting turn of phrase there (underline mine). ---
**Author:** ![Success20](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/50afbb/32.png) [@Success20](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Success20)\ **Post date:** [February 3, 2010, 2:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/have-you-ever-known-any-who-was-stood-up-at-the-aisle/526852/47 "2010-02-03T02:41:26Z")
No but I bet there are alot of people who wish they had been stood up at the alter! ---
**Author:** ![lindsaybluth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/90db22/32.png) [@lindsaybluth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lindsaybluth)\ **Post date:** [February 3, 2010, 10:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/have-you-ever-known-any-who-was-stood-up-at-the-aisle/526852/48 "2010-02-03T22:42:40Z")
> [@Gesturing\_Mildly](#): > > No one personally, but I used to work for a wedding photographer, and we were scheduled to do a HUGE wedding. The bride and groom were of two different cultures and the groom’s family didn’t approve. Rehearsal and dinner go off fine, but the next morning, the groom and his _entire_ family were gone. We normally didn’t return deposits, but we felt kinda bad for the girl. How on earth did they leave without anyone from the other family noticing? I mean, inevitably in a hotel full of wedding guests, someone is going to recognize someone else sneaking about, bags packed at 11pm. They REALLY must have waited until the middle of the night to bolt. How utterly cowardly and absurd. > [@Queen\_Tonya](#): > > So he just stood there, quietly agonizing through a lovely five minute acoustic piece some friends played for us, gazing at his entire family and all his friends thinking it was going to be the worst embarrassment of his life… > > Until everyone stood up as I made my properly timed entrance from the opposite side of the room. 😃 Poor guy! Worst part of it is is that he was the only one panicky. Was he able to enjoy/remember the ceremony? ---
**Author:** ![Queen\_Tonya](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/4491bb/32.png) [@Queen\_Tonya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Queen_Tonya)\ **Post date:** [February 4, 2010, 11:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/have-you-ever-known-any-who-was-stood-up-at-the-aisle/526852/49 "2010-02-04T11:30:38Z")
Oh sure, as soon as he realized I was coming from the other side of the room, he was fine. I am quite sure had the situation been reversed everyone would have known I was freaking out, but Mr. Cool as a Cucumber just panicked very quietly and no one even realized. ---
**Author:** ![Sunspace](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sunspace/32/1250_2.png) [@Sunspace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunspace)\ **Post date:** [February 4, 2010, 2:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/have-you-ever-known-any-who-was-stood-up-at-the-aisle/526852/50 "2010-02-04T14:54:43Z")
> [@Rack-a-Bones](#): > > If _raumatized_ is not a word, it should be. Especially in the Esperanto-speaking community. [Raumismo](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Raumism). And the Finnish. [Rauma](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rauma,_Finland). ---
**Author:** ![Clothahump](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/51bf81/32.png) [@Clothahump](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Clothahump)\ **Post date:** [February 4, 2010, 8:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/have-you-ever-known-any-who-was-stood-up-at-the-aisle/526852/51 "2010-02-04T20:56:21Z")
A very good friend of mine was engaged. Invitations went out, some gifts arrived early and then a week or so before D-Day, he bugs out. Turns out he had been two-timing her with a married woman. She divorced her hubby, married him and about five years later, two-times him with another guy. Meanwhile, my friend found a really nice guy and married him. They’re going strong. ---
**Author:** ![BigT](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bigt/32/12044_2.png) [@BigT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BigT)\ **Post date:** [August 15, 2010, 1:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/have-you-ever-known-any-who-was-stood-up-at-the-aisle/526852/52 "2010-08-15T13:11:47Z")
> [@alice\_in\_wonderland](#): > > > [@Robot\_Arm](#): > > > > The invitation did not say RSVP. > > For future reference, anytime you receive an invitation an RSVP is expected and the proper thing to do, regardless of if you’re attending or not and even if the invitation doesn’t say specifically, and even if there’s not an RSVP card included. > > Numbers of guests need to be confirmed with venues, planners, caterers, etc. It’s quite rude to just show up (although I suppose in your case the only person hurt by your inattention was you.) Well, we’ve got the relaxed zombie rules, and I have to respond to this. How the heck can you RSVP without the card? That’s the number you’re supposed to call. And, really, most of the rules people have grown up with are not practiced nearly as often in this age where your wedding invitation may come through Facebook. If you want the old-fashioned rules, you really need to be clear about it. ---
**Author:** ![Ferret\_Herder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/e47774/32.png) [@Ferret\_Herder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ferret_Herder)\ **Post date:** [August 15, 2010, 1:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/have-you-ever-known-any-who-was-stood-up-at-the-aisle/526852/53 "2010-08-15T13:37:48Z")
> [@BigT](#): > > Well, we’ve got the relaxed zombie rules, and I have to respond to this. How the heck can you RSVP without the card? That’s the number you’re supposed to call. If you don’t know their phone number, there’s a return address on the invitation. Write them a little note saying yes/no. The etiquette rule on this used to be that it was terribly tacky and even insulting to include a RSVP card, because you were assuming/insinuating that the recipient owned no personal stationery, or couldn’t be trusted to respond without the card being provided. ---
**Author:** ![robardin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/43a26b/32.png) [@robardin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/robardin)\ **Post date:** [August 15, 2010, 6:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/have-you-ever-known-any-who-was-stood-up-at-the-aisle/526852/54 "2010-08-15T18:01:52Z")
> [@Sehmket](#): > > > [@Rack-a-Bones](#): > > > > We all were. But I never really understood the urge to get married so young. Then again you hear those stories about high school sweethearts marrying and living happily ever after. (but you usually hear about that when you are reading obituaries) > > I realize it’s off-topic for the thread, but I just want to note that I married my high-school sweetheart. We’ve only been married for two years, but we had dated for eight years before that, and we’re still going strong! Ditto, except we dated for ten years, and it’s been 12 years since we got married. ---
**Author:** ![jasonh300](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/46a35a/32.png) [@jasonh300](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jasonh300)\ **Post date:** [August 15, 2010, 10:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/have-you-ever-known-any-who-was-stood-up-at-the-aisle/526852/55 "2010-08-15T22:02:06Z")
God I wish I had run for my life before my wedding. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/have-you-ever-known-any-who-was-stood-up-at-the-aisle/526852.md?page=2)