# Have you ever pulled a muscle while wiping your butt? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [January 4, 2013, 1:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/have-you-ever-pulled-a-muscle-while-wiping-your-butt/646053 "2013-01-04T13:34:52Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Superhal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/b4bc9f/32.png) [@Superhal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Superhal)\ **Post date:** [January 4, 2013, 1:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/have-you-ever-pulled-a-muscle-while-wiping-your-butt/646053/1 "2013-01-04T13:34:52Z")
My ribs hurt. ☹ ---
**Author:** ![Loach](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/loach/32/350_2.png) [@Loach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Loach)\ **Post date:** [January 4, 2013, 1:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/have-you-ever-pulled-a-muscle-while-wiping-your-butt/646053/2 "2013-01-04T13:39:49Z")
No. But currently I have a pulled muscle in my side from coughing. Ouch. ---
**Author:** ![misstee](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/958977/32.png) [@misstee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/misstee)\ **Post date:** [January 4, 2013, 2:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/have-you-ever-pulled-a-muscle-while-wiping-your-butt/646053/3 "2013-01-04T14:14:18Z")
I didn’t even know this could happen. ---
**Author:** ![Siam\_Sam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/d78d45/32.png) [@Siam\_Sam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Siam_Sam)\ **Post date:** [January 4, 2013, 2:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/have-you-ever-pulled-a-muscle-while-wiping-your-butt/646053/4 "2013-01-04T14:38:58Z")
> [@Superhal](#): > > My ribs hurt. ☹ My ribs are hurting from laughing so hard at this question. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Superhal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/b4bc9f/32.png) [@Superhal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Superhal)\ **Post date:** [January 4, 2013, 2:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/have-you-ever-pulled-a-muscle-while-wiping-your-butt/646053/5 "2013-01-04T14:45:55Z")
> [@Siam\_Sam](#): > > My ribs are hurting from laughing so hard at this question. 😃 Take it like a man, biyatch! ---
**Author:** ![LawMonkey](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/d6d6ee/32.png) [@LawMonkey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LawMonkey)\ **Post date:** [January 4, 2013, 2:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/have-you-ever-pulled-a-muscle-while-wiping-your-butt/646053/6 "2013-01-04T14:49:12Z")
How… I don’t even… what? 😕 ---
**Author:** ![Superhal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/b4bc9f/32.png) [@Superhal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Superhal)\ **Post date:** [January 4, 2013, 2:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/have-you-ever-pulled-a-muscle-while-wiping-your-butt/646053/7 "2013-01-04T14:52:05Z")
> [@LawMonkey](#): > > How… I don’t even… what? 😕 Take it! I sed take it! ---
**Author:** ![John\_DiFool](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/john_difool/32/19543_2.png) [@John\_DiFool](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/John_DiFool)\ **Post date:** [January 4, 2013, 4:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/have-you-ever-pulled-a-muscle-while-wiping-your-butt/646053/8 "2013-01-04T16:27:03Z")
My left heel just started hurting like hell yesterday at work-I swear I didn’t do a single thing to set it off-now I can barely stand to put any weight on it. ---
**Author:** ![woodstockbirdybird](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/woodstockbirdybird/32/7905_2.png) [@woodstockbirdybird](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/woodstockbirdybird)\ **Post date:** [January 4, 2013, 4:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/have-you-ever-pulled-a-muscle-while-wiping-your-butt/646053/9 "2013-01-04T16:28:44Z")
I can’t even imagine how out of shape you’d have to be for this to happen. Or maybe just how bad at wiping your ass. ---
**Author:** ![Sicks\_Ate](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/258eb7/32.png) [@Sicks\_Ate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sicks_Ate)\ **Post date:** [January 4, 2013, 4:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/have-you-ever-pulled-a-muscle-while-wiping-your-butt/646053/10 "2013-01-04T16:29:31Z")
> [@misstee](#): > > I didn’t even know this could happen. Well, that’s not very hygenic. Re: the poll. Nobody likes cookies??!! ---
**Author:** ![NinjaChick](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/71c47a/32.png) [@NinjaChick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/NinjaChick)\ **Post date:** [January 4, 2013, 4:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/have-you-ever-pulled-a-muscle-while-wiping-your-butt/646053/11 "2013-01-04T16:52:28Z")
Not wiping, but I did once pull a groin muscle while sneezing. > [@Sicks\_Ate](#): > > Well, that’s not very hygenic. > > Re: the poll. Nobody likes cookies??!! I do! ---
**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\ **Post date:** [January 4, 2013, 4:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/have-you-ever-pulled-a-muscle-while-wiping-your-butt/646053/12 "2013-01-04T16:55:20Z")
Not to the best of my knowledge. But I did pull muscles inmy sides last year, twice, and I have no idea how. It very well could have happened while wiping my butt. Or reaching for cookies. ---
**Author:** ![Finagle](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/b19c9b/32.png) [@Finagle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Finagle)\ **Post date:** [January 4, 2013, 4:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/have-you-ever-pulled-a-muscle-while-wiping-your-butt/646053/13 "2013-01-04T16:58:36Z")
> [@woodstockbirdybird](#): > > I can’t even imagine how out of shape you’d have to be for this to happen. Or maybe just how bad at wiping your ass. In about 20 years when you’ve got a few herniated disks in your back and your flexibility is gone, you’re going to look back at this post and cringe. ---
**Author:** ![Kevbo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/e47774/32.png) [@Kevbo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kevbo)\ **Post date:** [January 4, 2013, 5:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/have-you-ever-pulled-a-muscle-while-wiping-your-butt/646053/14 "2013-01-04T17:09:28Z")
Doing so would indicate some seriously tough shit. Am I really the first to post that? ---
**Author:** ![aruvqan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aruvqan/32/2891_2.png) [@aruvqan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/aruvqan)\ **Post date:** [January 4, 2013, 5:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/have-you-ever-pulled-a-muscle-while-wiping-your-butt/646053/15 "2013-01-04T17:35:59Z")
I did but mainly because I was in the really microscopic toilet in a sail boat, and it made a funky sort of corkscrewy swirl as I was trying to get positioned to wipe and it tossed me sideways into slamming into the sink. I was not a happy person and could barely move the rest of the weekend. ---
**Author:** ![Procrustus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/procrustus/32/2994_2.png) [@Procrustus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Procrustus)\ **Post date:** [January 4, 2013, 5:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/have-you-ever-pulled-a-muscle-while-wiping-your-butt/646053/16 "2013-01-04T17:37:32Z")
we’re supposed to wipe? ---
**Author:** ![Donnerwetter](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/b2d939/32.png) [@Donnerwetter](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Donnerwetter)\ **Post date:** [January 4, 2013, 6:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/have-you-ever-pulled-a-muscle-while-wiping-your-butt/646053/17 "2013-01-04T18:47:30Z")
I stick to a grueling regime of strength- and flexibility exercises to prepare for this demanding task. That’s why I’ve never been injured. Proper technique is important, too. ---
**Author:** ![cochrane](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cochrane/32/10441_2.png) [@cochrane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cochrane)\ **Post date:** [January 4, 2013, 6:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/have-you-ever-pulled-a-muscle-while-wiping-your-butt/646053/18 "2013-01-04T18:59:27Z")
> [@Procrustus](#): > > we’re supposed to wipe? [Worf] Klingons do not wipe after using the head! [/Worf] ---
**Author:** ![lieu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/c2a13f/32.png) [@lieu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lieu)\ **Post date:** [January 4, 2013, 7:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/have-you-ever-pulled-a-muscle-while-wiping-your-butt/646053/19 "2013-01-04T19:02:40Z")
No, but I did get whiplash once from a really big fart. ---
**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\ **Post date:** [January 4, 2013, 7:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/have-you-ever-pulled-a-muscle-while-wiping-your-butt/646053/20 "2013-01-04T19:05:37Z")
> [@cochrane](#): > > [Worf] Klingons do not wipe after using the head! [/Worf] Not true. They wipe, but with cheese graters. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/have-you-ever-pulled-a-muscle-while-wiping-your-butt/646053.md?page=2)