# Have you ever pulled a muscle while wiping your butt? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [January 4, 2013, 1:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/have-you-ever-pulled-a-muscle-while-wiping-your-butt/646053 "2013-01-04T13:34:52Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Siam\_Sam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/d78d45/32.png) [@Siam\_Sam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Siam_Sam)\ **Post date:** [January 5, 2013, 2:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/have-you-ever-pulled-a-muscle-while-wiping-your-butt/646053/21 "2013-01-05T02:08:53Z")
> [@NinjaChick](#): > > Not wiping, but I did once pull a groin muscle while sneezing. Sneezing. So that’s what they’re calling it now. ---
**Author:** ![Mr.Accident](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f05b48/32.png) [@Mr.Accident](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr.Accident)\ **Post date:** [January 5, 2013, 2:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/have-you-ever-pulled-a-muscle-while-wiping-your-butt/646053/22 "2013-01-05T02:37:44Z")
Can’t say that I have. I’ve pulled chest muscles just by breathing, and threw out my back picking up a piece of cardboard though. ---
**Author:** ![blondebear](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/blondebear/32/1022_2.png) [@blondebear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/blondebear)\ **Post date:** [January 5, 2013, 3:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/have-you-ever-pulled-a-muscle-while-wiping-your-butt/646053/23 "2013-01-05T03:01:45Z")
No, but I did have a hard time wiping my butt when I fractured my elbows. (very minor fractures, but still…:p) Not that it counts, but I had a friend who threw his back out making a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. ---
**Author:** ![Siam\_Sam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/d78d45/32.png) [@Siam\_Sam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Siam_Sam)\ **Post date:** [January 5, 2013, 3:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/have-you-ever-pulled-a-muscle-while-wiping-your-butt/646053/24 "2013-01-05T03:02:49Z")
> [@blondebear](#): > > No, but I did have a hard time wiping my butt when I fractured my elbows. (very minor fractures, but still…:p) Who wipes their butt with their elbows? 😕 ---
**Author:** ![Superhal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/b4bc9f/32.png) [@Superhal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Superhal)\ **Post date:** [January 5, 2013, 6:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/have-you-ever-pulled-a-muscle-while-wiping-your-butt/646053/25 "2013-01-05T06:12:58Z")
Speaking of freak injuries, I also injured my back because of a cheese-related incident. What does “throwing out your back” actually mean? I’ve had a variety of back injuries from sprains, tears, subluxations, etc. but I have no idea what “throwing out your back” actually means. ---
**Author:** ![GameHat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/ed655f/32.png) [@GameHat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GameHat)\ **Post date:** [January 5, 2013, 7:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/have-you-ever-pulled-a-muscle-while-wiping-your-butt/646053/26 "2013-01-05T07:15:20Z")
No. I’m out of shape, but not _that_ out of shape. ---
**Author:** ![Siam\_Sam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/d78d45/32.png) [@Siam\_Sam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Siam_Sam)\ **Post date:** [January 5, 2013, 11:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/have-you-ever-pulled-a-muscle-while-wiping-your-butt/646053/27 "2013-01-05T11:07:01Z")
> [@Superhal](#): > > Speaking of freak injuries, I also injured my back because of a cheese-related incident. Please tell us it involved a giant grater. ---
**Author:** ![Superhal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/b4bc9f/32.png) [@Superhal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Superhal)\ **Post date:** [January 5, 2013, 11:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/have-you-ever-pulled-a-muscle-while-wiping-your-butt/646053/28 "2013-01-05T11:34:08Z")
> [@Siam\_Sam](#): > > Please tell us it involved a giant grater. Nope! 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![brazil84](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/8491ac/32.png) [@brazil84](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/brazil84)\ **Post date:** [January 5, 2013, 12:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/have-you-ever-pulled-a-muscle-while-wiping-your-butt/646053/29 "2013-01-05T12:32:21Z")
I learned a month or two ago that they actually make a “butt wand,” i.e. a reaching device to let people with mobility problems wipe their butts. Apparently it’s normally for fat people but I imagine it’s also handy for people with flexibility issues. ---
**Author:** ![Mops](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mops/32/16494_2.png) [@Mops](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mops)\ **Post date:** [January 5, 2013, 1:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/have-you-ever-pulled-a-muscle-while-wiping-your-butt/646053/30 "2013-01-05T13:07:19Z")
> [@aruvqan](#): > > I did but mainly because I was in the really microscopic toilet in a sail boat, and it made a funky sort of corkscrewy swirl as I was trying to get positioned to wipe and it tossed me sideways into slamming into the sink. I was not a happy person and could barely move the rest of the weekend. I meant to answer ‘of course not’, but then I read this post - the exact same thing happened to me once. It’s the situation where you are most helpless - if you do not want your pants falling down to the wet floor you have _no_ hand to spare for hanging on. ---
**Author:** ![Suil\_Dubh](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/85f322/32.png) [@Suil\_Dubh](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Suil_Dubh)\ **Post date:** [January 5, 2013, 2:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/have-you-ever-pulled-a-muscle-while-wiping-your-butt/646053/31 "2013-01-05T14:54:50Z")
> [@Mr.Accident](#): > > Can’t say that I have. I’ve pulled chest muscles just by breathing, and threw out my back picking up a piece of cardboard though. Great username/post combination! I have a bum shoulder. In high school, while play wrestling, my friend threw me over his back and I landed square on my shoulder. It popped out of joint, then popped back in. I don’t know if you’d call it a true dislocation, but the pain was unbelievable. For several years after that if I _sneezed_, _yawned_, or _stretched_! it would momentarily pop back out of joint. My shoulder muscles gradually got stronger, so now I can sneeze and yawn normally again (thankfully). But those first few years were rough. ME: _wipes nose_ ah ah ah… FRIEND: Caught a cold? ME: Yeah, ah ah, since ah Thursday… FRIEND: That sucks. ME: Yeah… ah, ah, ah, achoo OHMYGODJESUSCHRISTTHEPAINARRGGGHHHHHH!!! ---
**Author:** ![pravnik](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/8edcca/32.png) [@pravnik](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pravnik)\ **Post date:** [January 5, 2013, 4:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/have-you-ever-pulled-a-muscle-while-wiping-your-butt/646053/32 "2013-01-05T16:42:47Z")
No, I always make sure to get a complete stretch and a warm-up in beforehand. ---
**Author:** ![Mr.Accident](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f05b48/32.png) [@Mr.Accident](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr.Accident)\ **Post date:** [January 5, 2013, 5:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/have-you-ever-pulled-a-muscle-while-wiping-your-butt/646053/33 "2013-01-05T17:27:05Z")
> [@Superhal](#): > > Speaking of freak injuries, I also injured my back because of a cheese-related incident. > > What does “throwing out your back” actually mean? I’ve had a variety of back injuries from sprains, tears, subluxations, etc. but I have no idea what “throwing out your back” actually means. For me it means that something in my back goes wrong, and leaves me writhing in pain and unable to sand straight for a couple of days afterwards. I couldn’t tell you what is wrong though, since every doc I go to about says my back is fine. ---
**Author:** ![Enter\_the\_Flagon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/b9bd4f/32.png) [@Enter\_the\_Flagon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Enter_the_Flagon)\ **Post date:** [January 5, 2013, 7:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/have-you-ever-pulled-a-muscle-while-wiping-your-butt/646053/34 "2013-01-05T19:43:29Z")
> [@brazil84](#): > > I learned a month or two ago that they actually make a “butt wand,” i.e. a reaching device to let people with mobility problems wipe their butts. Why, don’t fat people own tennis rackets? ---
**Author:** ![Honey](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/honey/32/5074_2.png) [@Honey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Honey)\ **Post date:** [January 5, 2013, 9:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/have-you-ever-pulled-a-muscle-while-wiping-your-butt/646053/35 "2013-01-05T21:27:00Z")
No, but I did break a rib once while coughing. ---
**Author:** ![Ferret\_Herder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/e47774/32.png) [@Ferret\_Herder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ferret_Herder)\ **Post date:** [January 5, 2013, 10:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/have-you-ever-pulled-a-muscle-while-wiping-your-butt/646053/36 "2013-01-05T22:31:11Z")
I pulled a muscle - to the point where I needed muscle relaxants because I was in such pain - while washing my back. We were camping and I was in the shower the last morning, before getting ready to pack up. I reached my right arm up over my shoulder, trying to get soap on my upper back and - **bam** , it felt like someone plucked a tendon in my neck like a bowstring. I damned near fell over from the intense pain. I rinsed off, managed to towel dry and get dressed, and helped pack up while holding my neck at a funny angle the whole time. God, that was terrible. ---
**Author:** ![Baker](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/bb73d2/32.png) [@Baker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Baker)\ **Post date:** [January 5, 2013, 11:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/have-you-ever-pulled-a-muscle-while-wiping-your-butt/646053/37 "2013-01-05T23:39:38Z")
You should have had one more option: “Almost” ---
**Author:** ![Fear\_Itself](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fear_itself/32/19637_2.png) [@Fear\_Itself](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fear_Itself)\ **Post date:** [January 6, 2013, 12:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/have-you-ever-pulled-a-muscle-while-wiping-your-butt/646053/38 "2013-01-06T00:04:11Z")
Sounds like you need more dietary fiber. ---
**Author:** ![Superhal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/b4bc9f/32.png) [@Superhal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Superhal)\ **Post date:** [January 6, 2013, 2:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/have-you-ever-pulled-a-muscle-while-wiping-your-butt/646053/39 "2013-01-06T02:04:37Z")
> [@Baker](#): > > You should have had one more option: “Almost” Actually, the one that is missing: Not since I got the [Comfort Wipe ™ by Jobar!](http://www.amazon.com/Jobar-JB5231-Long-Reach-Comfort/dp/B001G70QW8) Note that it’s in the “Toys and Games” section. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Magiver](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/4491bb/32.png) [@Magiver](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Magiver)\ **Post date:** [January 6, 2013, 6:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/have-you-ever-pulled-a-muscle-while-wiping-your-butt/646053/40 "2013-01-06T06:17:55Z")
I once started coughing while brushing my tongue and threw out my back. I was bent over the sink. It was the perfect storm of bad posture and muscles convulsing. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/have-you-ever-pulled-a-muscle-while-wiping-your-butt/646053.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/have-you-ever-pulled-a-muscle-while-wiping-your-butt/646053.md?page=3)