I think about it almost every day, seriously I would have to say yes.
Not necessarily. Some people get so depressed that they’d kill themselves if they could sum up the energy to do anything or make a plan. This is one reason why “black box” warnings about suicide are on some antidepressants - if you get enough energy back to commit suicide but not enough improved mood to realize you may have something to live for, then suicide may suddenly be a possible action.
I am shocked that the Yeses are outweighing the Nos.
I’ve thought about it, in unhappy moments, but never seriously. When I was fifteen, one of my best friends attempted suicide twice in the span of a couple weeks. After going through that - and seeing the pain it caused her family - it was pretty much permanently off the table for me. I would never want to make anyone else go through that.
I hear that argument an awful lot, but my problem is that people never really consider what the person thinking about killing themselves is going through. One of the strongest instincts we have is to survive–indeed, most of our other instincts all work toward that one goal. Can you imagine the level of pain someone has to be in to want to take their own life?
I recently read a story about a woman who was raped and tortured. She begged her captor over and over to kill her. Slaves en route to the New World used to throw themselves overboard rather than face life as a slave. Was that selfish or rational? At what point is it okay for a person to put themselves out of their own misery? 10 years of suffering? 20? At what point is that decision no longer ‘‘selfish’’ and entirely rational? *What is the fucking point of being alive *if you don’t derive any pleasure from it whatsoever? To make your relatives happy? I don’t think so.
Don’t think I’m only defending my own past inclinations. My 30-year-old uncle killed himself a couple of years ago and my mother has been suicidal for decades. If she killed herself tomorrow, I would of course be sad, but I’d also be relieved that she was finally at peace. I think people who make the ‘‘self-centered’’ argument seriously underestimate what it is like to live with a chronically depressed person.
Might it be because this poll is of more interest to those with suicidal inclinations? If it’s not something you’ve ever thought about personally, you might just pass because of lack of interest.
Most definitely. I was diagnosed with cclinical depression at 15, and honestly, there have been very few days of my life that I haven’t at least thought about it.
Right now I am at a place in my life where the pull is very great. The only thing tying me to this world is my animals. I have no family to consider their feelings, no local friends. They are the only ones that would miss me.
If something doesn’t change soon, I can’t say for sure I will be able to fight the blackness much longer.
Major depressive episode in 2001.
Very good poll.
I have certainly thought about it, especially as a teenager. I remember a couple of times even holding a knife to my wrist. But i know I never would have gone that way; I never would have cut into myself. I can hardly bear to cut into my own skin - I used to have trouble scratching off my scabs! And I enjoyed in a dark way thinking of the people I’d leave behind…but then I’d always get over it and move on.
The results of this poll are blowing me away. Seriously? This many people here have considered doing away with yourself? Maybe we need a new thread has to how you’ve all thought about it. Proly against the rules?
I believe that this poll is going to introduce a great many people to the idea of self-selection bias. 
me too.
It stresses me more that I don’t have a proper method chosen. But my thinking is that in all likelihood I won’t need the option for at least another 20 years. I do like to be prepared though.
I went with the, “not seriously” thing too. I’m sure almost everybody has had the fleeting, “fuck this” sentiment.
There was one time in my life, when I had fucked things up horribly and things just came crashing down around me when I found myself driving across a bridge in the middle of the night where I actually stopped and sat in my car for a good 30 minutes debating whether I should get out and jump off … but I didn’t. Wise choice, I believe.
Yep. Recently, in fact. What stops me is that both my husband and I have adult relatives we support, and will have to continue to do so for the foreseeable future. I would feel awful dumping all of that responsibility on him alone. And fortunately, the feelings are relatively mild and fleeting now. In the past, I had my pets, and I didn’t want anything to happen to them. When I started thinking about how I could get them cared for, I went on anti-depressants. I’m off them for the time being, since I’m trying to get pregnant, hence the periodic depression and suicidal thoughts. If I start feeling bad all the time, I may have to give up and go back on the meds.
There’s also the fact that, regardless of what they might see other people’s families go through, suicidal people are convinced that their own family would be better off without them. When you feel you’re worthless and don’t deserve to live, it’s really hard to believe that anyone else would feel otherwise about you.
Correct–and I don’t want to give the impression I’m advocating that everyone who is depressed go out and commit suicide. Depression is one of the most treatable psychological disorders out there. The vast majority of suicides are impulsive decisions made by people in an extremely irrational frame of mind. I have never looked back on my suicidal days and regretted not doing it. Rather quite the opposite. I thought, ‘‘Thank god I made it through that. I had no idea how good life could be.’’
I have recently been experiencing an aggressive increase in depressive symptoms, so I’ve got to hang onto that. I made it out once before, I can make it out again. As Nine points out, just having the option can give you the strength to go on–not a new idea, and actually a fairly common therapeutic technique. Nietzsche once wrote that the only way he survived some nights was by promising himself he’d commit suicide in the morning.
I’m just saying, when you think about the pain experienced by loved ones of a suicidal person, you have to be aware that the depressed person has been suffering at least that much, most likely for a far longer time.
Considered it for a few years and probably would have done it if I had been physically to. Took a lot of love to get me to a brighter place. But as dark as it seems, there is light at the end of the tunnel.
Never, not even close. I’m a pretty happy person with a great life - good health, a loving boyfriend, friends and family, good job, cute cats.
I hear this a lot. It’s true for some people. Sometimes it’s said out of kindness, or reassurance, or sometimes because what else is there to say?
But many people with depression are just stumbling along in the darkness. If there is light, it may only be visible at their death.
No. When I was really depressed and anxious, constantly, sometimes I wondered if I would ever feel better, and if eventually I would have to take that step because I couldn’t stand it any more. But I was never close to doing it. It always seemed to me that even when you are trapped by life and totally miserable,
it would be better to just leave it all and do something completely different and see how things worked out. We’re all going to die eventually, so might as well stay alive as long as possible.
I think I’m just lucky that I was never in enough pain that it seemed like the only way to stop the torture.
I’ve known several suicides now and it does break my heart that every one of them was totally impulsive. But I don’t know what it was like to be them at the moment they made that decision.
Earlier this year, I was depressed. A lot of shit going down in my life and I couldn’t see any silver lining. One night, I actually had a suicidal thought and it scared me.
I went over the list of meds I was taking (none of them anti-depressants) and saw that Claritin had depression as a possible side effect. I figured being actually depressed for real reasons + taking Claritin helped me reach rock bottom.
Anyway, I got over the suicidal thoughts pretty quickly, thank Og (and got rid of the Claritin). I am the sort of person who hates to inconvenience others more than anything. I thought about how killing myself would make a lot of people inconvenienced, and that was the end of that.
You couldn’t pay me enough to repeat being a teenager again. Life is so much better as an adult.