# Have you ever seriously considered taking over the world? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [July 6, 2004, 4:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/have-you-ever-seriously-considered-taking-over-the-world/253799 "2004-07-06T16:20:51Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 9\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Ranchoth](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ranchoth/32/1066_2.png) [@Ranchoth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ranchoth)\ **Post date:** [July 7, 2004, 5:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/have-you-ever-seriously-considered-taking-over-the-world/253799/21 "2004-07-07T05:27:41Z")
I thought about it, sure. However, my plans tend to run into that snag of my not having the resources, finances, or the brains to build an unstoppable superweapon. (I’ve always been a fan of the whole “orbital laser array” setup.) Then I have to face the sad fact that I probably wouldn’t have the skill or the talent to administrate the world in even a halfway competant way, and I’d just end up desperately ordering mass slaughters\* to try and fix things, probably after I’d ended up burning through my budget and torpedoing the global economy within a year. Followed by mass starvation, civil chaos, and the dropping of “Tsar Bombas.” In short, I’d love to be a Meiji or a Caesar…but I’d probably end up being a Mao or a Pol Pot. Guys who might have had the POTENTIAL to do good with their absolute power, but just ended up \*\*\*\*ing things up even worse than they were before. \*—Of course, I’d probably be ordering mass slaughters from Day-1 anyway. You know, people who pissed me off…criminals…“useless undesirables.” The usual. ---
**Author:** ![cornflakes](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/9d8465/32.png) [@cornflakes](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cornflakes)\ **Post date:** [July 7, 2004, 7:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/have-you-ever-seriously-considered-taking-over-the-world/253799/22 "2004-07-07T07:15:47Z")
A few years ago, I was ready to take over the world. Everything was in place: big switch, list of the usual suspects, etc., etc… Then, twenty minutes before H-hour, I took a break to answer a question in GQ and forgot about the whole damn thing. If anybody sees a big switch laying around, could you mail it back? ---
**Author:** ![garius](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/e19b73/32.png) [@garius](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/garius)\ **Post date:** [July 7, 2004, 7:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/have-you-ever-seriously-considered-taking-over-the-world/253799/23 "2004-07-07T07:41:13Z")
I’m only planning on taking over Great Britain. I see no need to rule the whole world. ---
**Author:** ![bat312](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/c77e96/32.png) [@bat312](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bat312)\ **Post date:** [July 7, 2004, 8:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/have-you-ever-seriously-considered-taking-over-the-world/253799/24 "2004-07-07T08:07:32Z")
My plan is simple, enforce the rule of the road. Anyone caught changing lanes without using their blinker would be imprisoned for life. After about a week or two I would be the only person allowed to drive a car. It should be easy from there. ---
**Author:** ![Sublight](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/439d5e/32.png) [@Sublight](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sublight)\ **Post date:** [July 7, 2004, 8:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/have-you-ever-seriously-considered-taking-over-the-world/253799/25 "2004-07-07T08:24:19Z")
> [@Call me Frank](#): > > So what you’re saying is that you’d volunteer yourself off the island instead of us having to vote you off?? 😃 > No offense intended, only humor Well, yes, except I’d then blockade the island so that you lot would be stuck with each other. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Dragwyr](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dragwyr/32/2855_2.png) [@Dragwyr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dragwyr)\ **Post date:** [July 7, 2004, 1:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/have-you-ever-seriously-considered-taking-over-the-world/253799/26 "2004-07-07T13:46:55Z")
I was considering it, but then I saw, [Operation Gelleaux](http://triggur.org/plan/) and figured, “Hey, this guy’s plan is much much better than mine.” So I gave up and decided to become one of his minions. ---
**Author:** ![JoeSki](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/b487fb/32.png) [@JoeSki](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JoeSki)\ **Post date:** [July 7, 2004, 7:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/have-you-ever-seriously-considered-taking-over-the-world/253799/27 "2004-07-07T19:32:58Z")
I guarantee, no more than an hour after I seized total control, everyone and their Uncle Oscar would be calling me up on the horn to complain about something. Furthermore, no matter how good I made things, it would never stop. You can’t make everyone happy. Why, then, am I sacrificing my remaining mortal years trying to make a bunch of ungrateful strangers happy? So I went to the movies, instead. [/QUOTE] Ya know, for some reason it doesn’t suprise me that you had thought about it about some length 🙂 . Why? I don’t know, why be a doctor, or lawyer? I suppose so you can be filthy stinking rich, and because control is a desirable thing to have. Plus, there would have to be some amount of satisfaction with making people happy. Of course, who says you even have to be a good ruler? You could turn the world into a 184 Orwellian hellhole if you’d like. > [@Dignan](#): > > Define “seriously.” Are we talking about developing a strategy, or having a strategy and taking it to venture capitalists trying to line up the financing? Seriously, like as in sitting down for a few minutes, and thinking about taking over the world in the same way some might consider being a veterinarian, libarian, or cop as a career. Maybe even dusting off your copies of “The Art of War” and Machievelle’s “The Prince”. > [@bat312](#): > > My plan is simple, enforce the rule of the road. Anyone caught changing lanes without using their blinker would be imprisoned for life. After about a week or two I would be the only person allowed to drive a car. It should be easy from there. What about annoying cell phone users who stroll into a Barnes and Nobles, plops down on one of the four very comfortable chairs they have, and then proceed to talk to someone on the phone for an hour or two without ever having touched a book or magazine, just so other people can see and hear them talk to somebody? Don’t they get anything? Lifetime in prison? Death? Torture? ---
**Author:** ![asterion](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/4da419/32.png) [@asterion](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/asterion)\ **Post date:** [July 7, 2004, 8:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/have-you-ever-seriously-considered-taking-over-the-world/253799/28 "2004-07-07T20:22:17Z")
> [@Eve](#): > > Well, I _was_ perfecting my own rice of pipple . . . A rice of atomic supermen that vill _conquer the vorld!_ > > But do you have any idea how much atomic supermen _eat?_ The grocery bills alone were killing me, and that’s not even counting the clothes and laundry—I swear, atomic supermen grow out iof their rompers once a month, at _least_. “We’ve secretly replaced **Eve** ’s atomic superman with American teenage boys. Let’s watch.” ---
**Author:** ![Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bosda_di_chi_of_tricor/32/16845_2.png) [@Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bosda_Di_Chi_of_Tricor)\ **Post date:** [July 7, 2004, 9:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/have-you-ever-seriously-considered-taking-over-the-world/253799/29 "2004-07-07T21:52:24Z")
My plans involve 1920’s Style Death Rays. But, perhaps I’ve revealed too much… 😃 [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/have-you-ever-seriously-considered-taking-over-the-world/253799.md?page=1)