As for this list:
-half a bottle of vodka
-half a bottle of rum
-a weak bleach solution cleanser
-windex
-laundry detergent
-nail polish remover
Vodka and rum are alcohols. Generally speaking, grease does not dissolve in alcohol. (but you can use vodka to remove some ink stains from clothing).
A weak bleach solution cleanser may remove the grease from your microwave or your countertop. It will not remove the grease from your drain.
Windex contains ammonia. Ammonia will not dissolve grease.
Laundry detergents often contain grease eating enzymes to remove stains from clothing. Your grease to enzyme ratio in your drain is really too much for the poor detergent.
Nail polish remover will not dissolve grease. It’s very polar. Grease is very non-polar. It is also flammable and shouldn’t be poured indoors in large quantities. However, should you choose to pour nail polish remover down your drain followed by a lit match, I promise you won’t have to worry about the clog anymore. (you will likely need a new kitchen instead, and probably some eyebrows.)
We put as much dry baking soda as will fit in the drain above the clog, up to about a cup. Follow that with cheap white vinegar, keeping your face well away, as it will bubble up and spit in a satisfying but messy manner. Keep adding vinegar until the fizzing stops. If this is a double kitchen sink, plug the other drain before you start. If it’s a bathroom sink, take out the stopper thingy first. You can help the action along by using a plunger to force the reacting soda & vinegar farther down, but again, be careful not to get splashed in the eyes. Follow by lots of hot water.
This has worked well for us several times. The only mishap was once when mr emilyforce dumped two or three cups of soda down a slow bathroom drain before he discovered we were out of vinegar… now the slow drain was no drain. Lemon juice didn’t react nearly enough. Now we keep a gallon of white vinegar around at all times.
If you look carefully, most of the “foaming action” cleaners like Drano (which again, you should not use) contain fairly dilute hydrogen peroxide as well. Anything, like the aforementioned NaHCO3/weak acetic acid combo, that makes CO2 is in your favor. Grease is a real pain to get rid of.
For other clogs, such as those caused by hair, I kinda like the stuff that uses about 12% HCl. Around here it goes under the brand name The Works. Just read the labels carefully beforehand. It can be a pain to figure out what’s in those things without googling the MSDS, but they’re still required to list the active ingredients.
Not helpful for you, but I managed to unclog a kitchen sink with an empty yogourt tub once. (As an ad hoc plumber’s helper.) Yes, I am disproportionately proud of that accomplishment.