# Have you ever used your sock to masturbate? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [July 4, 2011, 9:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/have-you-ever-used-your-sock-to-masturbate/587846 "2011-07-04T21:38:28Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![MovieMogul](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f08c70/32.png) [@MovieMogul](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MovieMogul)\ **Post date:** [July 4, 2011, 9:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/have-you-ever-used-your-sock-to-masturbate/587846/1 "2011-07-04T21:38:28Z")
I’ll be honest. I’m a dude so have choked the chicken quite a bit over my lifetime, but I’d never heard of using a sock to masturbate until I saw the film _American Pie_ (well into adulthood). But from cultural jokes and references, it appears to be a common enough Go-To for boys who want to self-pleasure. So (private poll), which choice best characterizes you in relation to this behavior? ---
**Author:** ![Morgenstern](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f9ae1b/32.png) [@Morgenstern](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Morgenstern)\ **Post date:** [July 4, 2011, 9:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/have-you-ever-used-your-sock-to-masturbate/587846/2 "2011-07-04T21:42:30Z")
I thought socks were frowned on here. ---
**Author:** ![Locrian](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/locrian/32/14146_2.png) [@Locrian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Locrian)\ **Post date:** [July 4, 2011, 10:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/have-you-ever-used-your-sock-to-masturbate/587846/3 "2011-07-04T22:05:49Z")
Ah, HA HA HA HA! No. I haven’t heard of it. Yes, I’m male. Has anyone ever heard of chafing?? 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Mr\_Downtown](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/8e8cbc/32.png) [@Mr\_Downtown](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr_Downtown)\ **Post date:** [July 4, 2011, 10:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/have-you-ever-used-your-sock-to-masturbate/587846/4 "2011-07-04T22:20:17Z")
For the circumcised, more for cleanup than stimulation. ---
**Author:** ![EvilTOJ](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ee59a6/32.png) [@EvilTOJ](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/EvilTOJ)\ **Post date:** [July 4, 2011, 10:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/have-you-ever-used-your-sock-to-masturbate/587846/5 "2011-07-04T22:27:35Z")
I have, but only as something to clean up with. From what I’ve heard, it’s been used as an actual rubbing aid? I don’t know how that’d work because it sounds like it would hurt like hell. ---
**Author:** ![Locrian](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/locrian/32/14146_2.png) [@Locrian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Locrian)\ **Post date:** [July 4, 2011, 10:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/have-you-ever-used-your-sock-to-masturbate/587846/6 "2011-07-04T22:42:41Z")
> [@EvilTOJ](#): > > I have, but only as something to clean up with. From what I’ve heard, it’s been used as an actual rubbing aid? I don’t know how that’d work because it sounds like it would hurt like hell. Yeah. The sock in question must be a very nice one, pure turkish wool perhaps? ---
**Author:** ![MovieMogul](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f08c70/32.png) [@MovieMogul](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MovieMogul)\ **Post date:** [July 4, 2011, 11:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/have-you-ever-used-your-sock-to-masturbate/587846/7 "2011-07-04T23:07:15Z")
I don’t know the mechanics at all, but in the film, insertion was part of the process (presumably before it later doubled as a receptacle). In the film, it was an athletic sock, though I would think a dress sock would have a softer consistency… ---
**Author:** ![Hari\_Seldon](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hari_seldon/32/5173_2.png) [@Hari\_Seldon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hari_Seldon)\ **Post date:** [July 5, 2011, 1:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/have-you-ever-used-your-sock-to-masturbate/587846/8 "2011-07-05T01:10:43Z")
Never heard of it till just now. I didn’t vote because I am beyond adulthood. ---
**Author:** ![FloatyGimpy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/floatygimpy/32/7750_2.png) [@FloatyGimpy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FloatyGimpy)\ **Post date:** [July 5, 2011, 1:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/have-you-ever-used-your-sock-to-masturbate/587846/9 "2011-07-05T01:16:52Z")
Until I was a married adult and my husband set me straight, I thought that when a guy masturbated with a playboy, he rolled it up and stuck his penis in the end and masturbated like that. I thought it had something to do with having a penis touch a picture of a boob. ---
**Author:** ![Joey\_P](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/919ad9/32.png) [@Joey\_P](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Joey_P)\ **Post date:** [July 5, 2011, 2:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/have-you-ever-used-your-sock-to-masturbate/587846/10 "2011-07-05T02:11:02Z")
I’ve always heard of it, but never done it\* as it always seemed like an extra step in the process when it’s so much easier to use something that can just be thrown away/flushed. \*The only time I’ve done it was many many years ago when I was fooling around with my then GF. For whatever reason we weren’t going to have sex that night (either we hadn’t had sex yet, she wasn’t in the mood or her parents we’re in the next room, don’t remember) and she grabbed a near by sock when I told her that we either needed to stop messing around or grab _something_ before we have a mess to clean up. ---
**Author:** ![msmith537](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d9b06d/32.png) [@msmith537](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/msmith537)\ **Post date:** [July 5, 2011, 2:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/have-you-ever-used-your-sock-to-masturbate/587846/11 "2011-07-05T02:19:37Z")
I don’t remember the sock. I remember the pie from the first movie and the mixup with the superglue/lube in the second. ---
**Author:** ![BigT](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bigt/32/12044_2.png) [@BigT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BigT)\ **Post date:** [July 5, 2011, 2:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/have-you-ever-used-your-sock-to-masturbate/587846/12 "2011-07-05T02:20:50Z")
Well, I learned to masturbate from a book–a book telling me about the horrors of it called _God, Sex, and Me_ or similar. It even said it was okay to discuss it since anyone would discover it on their own anyways. I hadn’t. And it took me an hour of experimenting for it to happen the first time. The reason I bring that up is that it didn’t go into cleanup, but it did mention wet dreams, and it discussed how, if you woke up with it, you didn’t have to clean up because your body would absorb it by morning. So I was always under the impression that it would clean itself up. ---
**Author:** ![Freddy\_the\_Pig](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/a587f6/32.png) [@Freddy\_the\_Pig](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Freddy_the_Pig)\ **Post date:** [July 5, 2011, 2:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/have-you-ever-used-your-sock-to-masturbate/587846/13 "2011-07-05T02:25:32Z")
The implication from the poll choices appears to be that if you can survive adolescence without sock-whacking, you won’t take it up as an adult. I’m tempted to sock-whack right now, for the first time, at age 51, to prove this theory wrong. But really, why ruin a perfectly good sock? ---
**Author:** ![palacheck](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/a88e57/32.png) [@palacheck](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/palacheck)\ **Post date:** [July 5, 2011, 2:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/have-you-ever-used-your-sock-to-masturbate/587846/14 "2011-07-05T02:53:49Z")
I’ve used socks before. It’s easier(I imagine) if you’re uncircumcised with a bit of…slack, so to speak. The cotton never touches the head if you do it right, although I would sometimes accidentally graze the head with force(!). I don’t see how that could be avoided unless you are both uncircumcised and morbidly obese. These days I’m so old and tired that I don’t want to waste an orgasm using a sock when there’s hardly enough to go around during _sex_… ---
**Author:** ![elfkin477](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/a9a28c/32.png) [@elfkin477](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elfkin477)\ **Post date:** [July 5, 2011, 3:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/have-you-ever-used-your-sock-to-masturbate/587846/15 "2011-07-05T03:12:54Z")
Female. I’ve heard about it for about 1/2 my life but I _still_ don’t know: a. if the sock is, um, worn or just aimed into, b. if it’s a clean or dirty sock. If it’s worn _and_ it’s a dirty sock…eww. ---
**Author:** ![brittekland](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/aeb1de/32.png) [@brittekland](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/brittekland)\ **Post date:** [July 5, 2011, 3:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/have-you-ever-used-your-sock-to-masturbate/587846/16 "2011-07-05T03:29:22Z")
> [@Freddy\_the\_Pig](#): > > But really, why ruin a perfectly good sock? Would semen cause socks to permanently lose softness [too](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=614203&highlight=semen+towel)? ---
**Author:** ![Larry\_Mudd](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/f14d63/32.png) [@Larry\_Mudd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Larry_Mudd)\ **Post date:** [July 5, 2011, 3:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/have-you-ever-used-your-sock-to-masturbate/587846/17 "2011-07-05T03:36:06Z")
> [@elfkin477](#): > > Female. I’ve heard about it for about 1/2 my life but I _still_ don’t know: a. if the sock is, um, worn or just aimed into, b. if it’s a clean or dirty sock. If it’s worn _and_ it’s a dirty sock…eww. I doubt there’s a universal answer there - it’s not like we went to school for it or asked our friends what they thought might be best - I think that most boys who ended up using a sock to wank probably hit on the method through improvisation. As near as I can recall (as this would have been three decades ago) clean sock (_quite_ certain of that much at least) sock slipped over the end when finishing seemed imminent, index finger under the sock. Years later I worked with a west indian fella who described finding his son’s wank sock stuffed down between the bed and the wall: “Stiff as a board!” he said, “He must have of used that sock a hundred times - it was flat as a pancake and as stiff as board! If I’d 'a hit ya in the eye with it you’d be blind, man! That thing was dangerous!” Personally (even if I don’t recall the circumstances that made a sock seem more sensible than tissue paper, which we must have had available) I at least felt that wank-socks ought to go into the laundry hamper after the first use. Ewww. ---
**Author:** ![antonio107](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/7ea924/32.png) [@antonio107](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/antonio107)\ **Post date:** [July 5, 2011, 4:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/have-you-ever-used-your-sock-to-masturbate/587846/18 "2011-07-05T04:09:13Z")
I voted number 1. The only American Pie film I saw was that abortion known as “Band Camp,” and I pretended to like it because this girl I liked did. Until now, I have NEVER, EVER heard of this practice. Gross. ---
**Author:** ![Shalmanese](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/45deac/32.png) [@Shalmanese](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shalmanese)\ **Post date:** [July 5, 2011, 4:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/have-you-ever-used-your-sock-to-masturbate/587846/19 "2011-07-05T04:58:53Z")
I had a roommate who once explained his system to me: He owned 7 pairs of socks. He would wear a fresh pair every day and be left with a dirty pair by the end of the day. He would masturbate twice a day, once in the evening with one sock and once the next morning with the other socks. Every weekend, he would do the laundry and throw in his 7 pairs of dirty, semen encrusted socks. After he told me that, I proceeded to give him shit the rest of the time we lived together than every single piece of clothing he owned had a fine miasma of semen on it. ---
**Author:** ![panache45](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/panache45/32/64_2.png) [@panache45](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panache45)\ **Post date:** [July 5, 2011, 7:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/have-you-ever-used-your-sock-to-masturbate/587846/20 "2011-07-05T07:14:46Z")
Damn, I thought that was toe jam! [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/have-you-ever-used-your-sock-to-masturbate/587846.md?page=2)