# Have you ever used your sock to masturbate? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [July 4, 2011, 9:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/have-you-ever-used-your-sock-to-masturbate/587846 "2011-07-04T21:38:28Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Boyo\_Jim](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/87869e/32.png) [@Boyo\_Jim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Boyo_Jim)\ **Post date:** [July 5, 2011, 8:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/have-you-ever-used-your-sock-to-masturbate/587846/21 "2011-07-05T08:20:49Z")
Do they make socks out of Teflon or something? Can you buy a sock full of Vaseline at the drug store? Maybe then I would try it. ---
**Author:** ![ralph124c](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/8797f3/32.png) [@ralph124c](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ralph124c)\ **Post date:** [July 5, 2011, 12:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/have-you-ever-used-your-sock-to-masturbate/587846/22 "2011-07-05T12:06:52Z")
Sox sex sucks. ---
**Author:** ![Joey\_P](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/919ad9/32.png) [@Joey\_P](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Joey_P)\ **Post date:** [July 5, 2011, 1:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/have-you-ever-used-your-sock-to-masturbate/587846/23 "2011-07-05T13:03:39Z")
> [@ralph124c](#): > > Sox sex sucks. If only it could. ---
**Author:** ![msmith537](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d9b06d/32.png) [@msmith537](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/msmith537)\ **Post date:** [July 5, 2011, 1:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/have-you-ever-used-your-sock-to-masturbate/587846/24 "2011-07-05T13:28:08Z")
> [@Larry\_Mudd](#): > > If I’d 'a hit ya in the eye with it you’d be blind, man! That thing was dangerous!" So it can cause you to go blind. > [@antonio107](#): > > I voted number 1. The only American Pie film I saw was that abortion known as “Band Camp,” and I pretended to like it because this girl I liked did. That’s like judging the movie Caddyshack from only seeing Caddyshack 2. The three theatrical release American Pie films were actually quite good. And actually, that’s Band Camp was probably the best of the direct to DVD American Pie films. Not like that sets a high bar or anything. But I did manage to sit through the whole thing while watching it on TBS. ---
**Author:** ![Hypno-Toad](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/b2d939/32.png) [@Hypno-Toad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hypno-Toad)\ **Post date:** [July 5, 2011, 1:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/have-you-ever-used-your-sock-to-masturbate/587846/25 "2011-07-05T13:58:51Z")
I have never socked it to me. Never heard of it until this thread. ---
**Author:** ![RTFirefly](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/c77e96/32.png) [@RTFirefly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RTFirefly)\ **Post date:** [July 5, 2011, 2:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/have-you-ever-used-your-sock-to-masturbate/587846/26 "2011-07-05T14:07:43Z")
> [@Hari\_Seldon](#): > > Never heard of it till just now. I didn’t vote because I am beyond adulthood. Hey, holographs from beyond the grave usually don’t post on message boards at all, so you shouldn’t let it stop you here. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![RTFirefly](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/c77e96/32.png) [@RTFirefly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RTFirefly)\ **Post date:** [July 5, 2011, 2:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/have-you-ever-used-your-sock-to-masturbate/587846/27 "2011-07-05T14:09:41Z")
> [@Hypno-Toad](#): > > I have never socked it to me. Never heard of it until this thread. I heard about it on “Rowan and Martin’s Laugh-In” which certainly dates me. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\ **Post date:** [July 5, 2011, 2:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/have-you-ever-used-your-sock-to-masturbate/587846/28 "2011-07-05T14:14:21Z")
I have a hard enough time keeping track of my socks. By the end of the wash cycle I’m wearing whatever mismatched socks I can scrounge up. It’s not like I have spares that I can use for something that wouldn’t even feel good. ---
**Author:** ![Happy\_Lendervedder](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/happy_lendervedder/32/8488_2.png) [@Happy\_Lendervedder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Happy_Lendervedder)\ **Post date:** [July 5, 2011, 2:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/have-you-ever-used-your-sock-to-masturbate/587846/29 "2011-07-05T14:55:23Z")
> [@RTFirefly](#): > > I heard about it on “Rowan and Martin’s Laugh-In” which certainly dates me. 🙂 So do you date yourself with or without a sock? [Sometimes there just aren’t enough socks laying around.](http://FunnyOrDie.com/m/2m) ---
**Author:** ![awldune](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/c77e96/32.png) [@awldune](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/awldune)\ **Post date:** [July 5, 2011, 4:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/have-you-ever-used-your-sock-to-masturbate/587846/30 "2011-07-05T16:31:16Z")
A shirt from the clothes hamper is both softer and more absorbent for cleanup. Wearing it during is hard to figure, I guess the appeal is if you are REALLY concerned about containment. ---
**Author:** ![MOIDALIZE](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e274bd/32.png) [@MOIDALIZE](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MOIDALIZE)\ **Post date:** [December 12, 2011, 8:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/have-you-ever-used-your-sock-to-masturbate/587846/31 "2011-12-12T20:17:34Z")
Oops, wrong thread. ---
**Author:** ![YogSothoth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/y/8edcca/32.png) [@YogSothoth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/YogSothoth)\ **Post date:** [December 12, 2011, 8:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/have-you-ever-used-your-sock-to-masturbate/587846/32 "2011-12-12T20:56:52Z")
You just have to get the right kind of sock ---
**Author:** ![Czarcasm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/czarcasm/32/4050_2.png) [@Czarcasm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Czarcasm)\ **Post date:** [December 12, 2011, 9:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/have-you-ever-used-your-sock-to-masturbate/587846/33 "2011-12-12T21:19:07Z")
_My_ sock? No. ---
**Author:** ![Peeta\_Mellark](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/bc8723/32.png) [@Peeta\_Mellark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Peeta_Mellark)\ **Post date:** [December 12, 2011, 9:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/have-you-ever-used-your-sock-to-masturbate/587846/34 "2011-12-12T21:24:31Z")
Socks? Pfft. Amateurs. You want to get a dish towel, rubber bands, two sponges, a microwave, and a condom. Gotta be safe, you know. ---
**Author:** ![Marconi\_N.Cheese](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/57b2e6/32.png) [@Marconi\_N.Cheese](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Marconi_N.Cheese)\ **Post date:** [December 12, 2011, 9:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/have-you-ever-used-your-sock-to-masturbate/587846/35 "2011-12-12T21:36:23Z")
So, tube socks are aptly named then? What about Bobby socks? ---
**Author:** ![BlankSlate](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/blankslate/32/80_2.png) [@BlankSlate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BlankSlate)\ **Post date:** [December 12, 2011, 9:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/have-you-ever-used-your-sock-to-masturbate/587846/36 "2011-12-12T21:41:30Z")
Can a moderator make this poll public? ---
**Author:** ![Jack\_Batty](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jack_batty/32/3201_2.png) [@Jack\_Batty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jack_Batty)\ **Post date:** [December 12, 2011, 9:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/have-you-ever-used-your-sock-to-masturbate/587846/37 "2011-12-12T21:47:25Z")
I don’t get the attraction. Now if said sock were made of skin, and it lubricated itself, and it had a woman envloping it … maybe. But it just doesn’t sound like it would feel that good. Besides … even jerkin’ the gherkin’ I appreciate a good money shot. ---
**Author:** ![corkboard](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e9bcb4/32.png) [@corkboard](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/corkboard)\ **Post date:** [December 12, 2011, 10:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/have-you-ever-used-your-sock-to-masturbate/587846/38 "2011-12-12T22:09:01Z")
Not a sock. A t-shirt, or a pair of dirty underwear, yes. A sock? I wouldn’t want something that stinky near my winky. ---
**Author:** ![Freddy\_the\_Pig](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/a587f6/32.png) [@Freddy\_the\_Pig](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Freddy_the_Pig)\ **Post date:** [December 12, 2011, 10:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/have-you-ever-used-your-sock-to-masturbate/587846/39 "2011-12-12T22:29:47Z")
> [@MOIDALIZE](#): > > Oops, wrong thread. Was it ever. ---
**Author:** ![Czarcasm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/czarcasm/32/4050_2.png) [@Czarcasm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Czarcasm)\ **Post date:** [December 12, 2011, 10:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/have-you-ever-used-your-sock-to-masturbate/587846/40 "2011-12-12T22:33:25Z")
As I post this, the next thread up is “Help me fill my wife’s Christmas stocking!” Um…okay. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/have-you-ever-used-your-sock-to-masturbate/587846.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/have-you-ever-used-your-sock-to-masturbate/587846.md?page=3)