# Have you ever used your sock to masturbate? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [July 4, 2011, 9:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/have-you-ever-used-your-sock-to-masturbate/587846 "2011-07-04T21:38:28Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Yumblie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/y/76d3ee/32.png) [@Yumblie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Yumblie)\ **Post date:** [December 13, 2011, 6:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/have-you-ever-used-your-sock-to-masturbate/587846/41 "2011-12-13T06:31:02Z")
> [@Czarcasm](#): > > As I post this, the next thread up is “Help me fill my wife’s Christmas stocking!” > > Um…okay. This holiday season, instead of dick in the box, give her jizz in the sock! ---
**Author:** ![slm2955](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c6cbf5/32.png) [@slm2955](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/slm2955)\ **Post date:** [December 13, 2011, 4:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/have-you-ever-used-your-sock-to-masturbate/587846/42 "2011-12-13T16:35:24Z")
Socks to masturbate? That’s new to me lol… ---
**Author:** ![Diceman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/22d042/32.png) [@Diceman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Diceman)\ **Post date:** [December 13, 2011, 5:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/have-you-ever-used-your-sock-to-masturbate/587846/43 "2011-12-13T17:41:15Z")
Heard of it, never used one. A tissue or some toilet paper has always been perfectly adequate for containing the mess. ---
**Author:** ![kayaker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kayaker/32/441_2.png) [@kayaker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayaker)\ **Post date:** [December 13, 2011, 5:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/have-you-ever-used-your-sock-to-masturbate/587846/44 "2011-12-13T17:44:34Z")
“Hey, your dick smells like feet.” ---
**Author:** ![Ruby](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/13edae/32.png) [@Ruby](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ruby)\ **Post date:** [December 14, 2011, 3:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/have-you-ever-used-your-sock-to-masturbate/587846/45 "2011-12-14T03:01:16Z")
My g/f used to work with the mentally handicapped and they actually taught some of the male clients to do their business in a sock to keep the rest of the clients in the house from accidentally coming in contact with…stuff. ---
**Author:** ![Peanuthead](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/peanuthead/32/360_2.png) [@Peanuthead](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Peanuthead)\ **Post date:** [December 14, 2011, 3:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/have-you-ever-used-your-sock-to-masturbate/587846/46 "2011-12-14T03:57:27Z")
In days of old when knights were bold and condoms weren’t invented. They wrapped their socks around their cocks and walked away contented. ---
**Author:** ![Bumbershoot](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bumbershoot/32/3428_2.png) [@Bumbershoot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bumbershoot)\ **Post date:** [December 14, 2011, 4:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/have-you-ever-used-your-sock-to-masturbate/587846/47 "2011-12-14T04:04:15Z")
I used to, until I developed a case of Athlete’s Dick. ---
**Author:** ![Omniscient](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/omniscient/32/3290_2.png) [@Omniscient](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Omniscient)\ **Post date:** [December 14, 2011, 4:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/have-you-ever-used-your-sock-to-masturbate/587846/48 "2011-12-14T04:10:35Z")
I think the OP is missing the point. It’s not for jerking off it’s for clean up. ---
**Author:** ![drewtwo99](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/d07c76/32.png) [@drewtwo99](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/drewtwo99)\ **Post date:** [December 14, 2011, 4:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/have-you-ever-used-your-sock-to-masturbate/587846/49 "2011-12-14T04:10:40Z")
Yes and I’ll still do it on occasion. ---
**Author:** ![Trinopus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/2bfe46/32.png) [@Trinopus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Trinopus)\ **Post date:** [December 14, 2011, 4:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/have-you-ever-used-your-sock-to-masturbate/587846/50 "2011-12-14T04:13:26Z")
> [@Shalmanese](#): > > . . . every single piece of clothing he owned had a fine miasma of semen on it. Okay, serious question: would that be so? Or would it dissolve in the laundry, like all the other gross stuff – dead skin cells, dead bacteria, sebum, oils, dandruff, etc. – that gets on our clothes from our bodies? Or _are_ our clothes suffused with a fine miasma of our precious bodily fluids? What about laundering the bed sheets after a night of hunka-hunka-burnin’-love? Do the love juices spread to our shirts and slacks anyway? If one had a magical semen detecting ray, and shone it around the typical house, would the stuff be everywhere? I almost went to post this in General Questions, but decided to have mercy… ---
**Author:** ![panache45](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/panache45/32/64_2.png) [@panache45](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panache45)\ **Post date:** [December 14, 2011, 5:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/have-you-ever-used-your-sock-to-masturbate/587846/51 "2011-12-14T05:27:47Z")
I’d have to get bigger socks. ---
**Author:** ![bengangmo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/50afbb/32.png) [@bengangmo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bengangmo)\ **Post date:** [December 14, 2011, 5:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/have-you-ever-used-your-sock-to-masturbate/587846/52 "2011-12-14T05:38:28Z")
> [@Trinopus](#): > > Okay, serious question: would that be so? Or would it dissolve in the laundry, like all the other gross stuff – dead skin cells, dead bacteria, sebum, oils, dandruff, etc. – that gets on our clothes from our bodies? Or _are_ our clothes suffused with a fine miasma of our precious bodily fluids? What about laundering the bed sheets after a night of hunka-hunka-burnin’-love? Do the love juices spread to our shirts and slacks anyway? > > If one had a magical semen detecting ray, and shone it around the typical house, would the stuff be everywhere? > > I almost went to post this in General Questions, but decided to have mercy… The average male produces around 130,000,000 sperm heads in each ejaculation. A peer-reviewed international study has found that cotton underwear retains 43% of the DNA after it’s been through each wash. “So you have to do quite a few washes to reduce DNA below the detectability of the tests,” he says. That means the contamination could well have occurred in an earlier handwash. From here: [Stuff](http://www.stuff.co.nz/sunday-star-times/features/feature-archive/456379/What-the-public-didn-t-hear-about-the-death-of-Charlene-Makaza) Having said that - I would imagine all sorts of things affect it - however, whether or not it’s true, you can still tease someone about it 😃 ---
**Author:** ![AngelSoft](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/angelsoft/32/440_2.png) [@AngelSoft](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AngelSoft)\ **Post date:** [December 14, 2011, 5:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/have-you-ever-used-your-sock-to-masturbate/587846/53 "2011-12-14T05:55:59Z")
As a girl in high school, I had of course heard of it here and there but for some reason, I have this idea set in my head that there was a specific reason for using a sock. That, when a teenage boy was living at home, he would use a sock as a ‘secret’ cleanup method, something that he could use that wouldn’t arouse suspicion from mom/family members. So instead of using an suspiciously large amount of tissue and having the evidence clear for all to see in his trashcan, he could use a sock, throw it in the hamper as he would normally do and no one would be the wiser. No idea WHERE I got this idea but it’s stuck with me throughout the years. ---
**Author:** ![Trinopus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/2bfe46/32.png) [@Trinopus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Trinopus)\ **Post date:** [December 14, 2011, 7:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/have-you-ever-used-your-sock-to-masturbate/587846/54 "2011-12-14T07:01:55Z")
> [@bengangmo](#): > > The average male produces around 130,000,000 sperm heads in each ejaculation. A peer-reviewed international study has found that cotton underwear retains 43% of the DNA after it’s been through each wash. . . . It might help a little if one pre-rinses socks that have been used for…um… ---
**Author:** ![Count\_Blucher](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/c5a1d2/32.png) [@Count\_Blucher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Count_Blucher)\ **Post date:** [December 14, 2011, 3:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/have-you-ever-used-your-sock-to-masturbate/587846/55 "2011-12-14T15:01:56Z")
> [@Bumbershoot](#): > > I used to, until I developed a case of Athlete’s Dick. I’m not sure Tinactin will increase sales with commercials of _[that](http://bit.ly/sbePKQ)_ bursting into flames at half-time. ---
**Author:** ![Peeta\_Mellark](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/bc8723/32.png) [@Peeta\_Mellark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Peeta_Mellark)\ **Post date:** [December 14, 2011, 3:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/have-you-ever-used-your-sock-to-masturbate/587846/56 "2011-12-14T15:41:47Z")
> [@AngelSoft](#): > > As a girl in high school, I had of course heard of it here and there but for some reason, I have this idea set in my head that there was a specific reason for using a sock. That, when a teenage boy was living at home, he would use a sock as a ‘secret’ cleanup method, something that he could use that wouldn’t arouse suspicion from mom/family members. So instead of using an suspiciously large amount of tissue and having the evidence clear for all to see in his trashcan, he could use a sock, throw it in the hamper as he would normally do and no one would be the wiser. No idea WHERE I got this idea but it’s stuck with me throughout the years. I suppose I can see the logic there, but tissue can flush down the toilet so it’s not really an issue. ---
**Author:** ![Revtim](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/revtim/32/1042_2.png) [@Revtim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Revtim)\ **Post date:** [December 14, 2011, 3:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/have-you-ever-used-your-sock-to-masturbate/587846/57 "2011-12-14T15:50:56Z")
I don’t understand, if you don’t use a sock, then what do you use to tie around your neck? ---
**Author:** ![Bumbershoot](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bumbershoot/32/3428_2.png) [@Bumbershoot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bumbershoot)\ **Post date:** [December 14, 2011, 4:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/have-you-ever-used-your-sock-to-masturbate/587846/58 "2011-12-14T16:06:41Z")
> [@Count\_Blucher](#): > > I’m not sure Tinactin will increase sales with commercials of _[that](http://bit.ly/sbePKQ)_ bursting into flames at half-time. Let me tell you, rubbing that stuff on my peepee sure tingled! :eek:😃 It got rid of the fungus, though. ---
**Author:** ![njtt](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/ecd19e/32.png) [@njtt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/njtt)\ **Post date:** [December 14, 2011, 5:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/have-you-ever-used-your-sock-to-masturbate/587846/59 "2011-12-14T17:55:57Z")
I’d have thought the texture would be wrong. I use a handkerchief. ---
**Author:** ![kayaker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kayaker/32/441_2.png) [@kayaker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayaker)\ **Post date:** [December 14, 2011, 6:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/have-you-ever-used-your-sock-to-masturbate/587846/60 "2011-12-14T18:02:20Z")
> [@njtt](#): > > I’d have thought the texture would be wrong. I use a handkerchief. May I suggest you refer to it as your spankey hankey? [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/have-you-ever-used-your-sock-to-masturbate/587846.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/have-you-ever-used-your-sock-to-masturbate/587846.md?page=4)