# Have You Found Jesus? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [April 20, 2001, 10:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/have-you-found-jesus/62656 "2001-04-20T10:30:05Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Fenris](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fenris/32/498_2.png) [@Fenris](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fenris)\ **Post date:** [April 21, 2001, 1:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/have-you-found-jesus/62656/21 "2001-04-21T13:01:55Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Libertarian \* > \*\*Okay. Since there are no adults in here, and the thread has been hijacked to hell and back, I might as well leave the spoiler: Tina wins. Jesus said that Roger would be booted last night, Colby next, then Liz, then Tina wins the jury vote over Keith. Enjoy the show. Me, I like knowing. \*\* Either you’re kidding or the website is full of sh\*t (I suspect the web-site): When I watched, I got a completely diffrent sequence and winner. Huh. How 'bout that? Fenris ---
**Author:** ![Eutychus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/a3d4f5/32.png) [@Eutychus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eutychus)\ **Post date:** [April 21, 2001, 1:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/have-you-found-jesus/62656/22 "2001-04-21T13:15:50Z")
Survivor 2 makes the baby Jesus cry. ---
**Author:** ![FunkDaddy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/bc79bd/32.png) [@FunkDaddy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FunkDaddy)\ **Post date:** [April 21, 2001, 1:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/have-you-found-jesus/62656/23 "2001-04-21T13:51:41Z")
No, alright? I **haven’t** found Jesus. I guess I’m just some kind of friggin’ retard. \ ---
**Author:** ![BiblioCat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ed8c4c/32.png) [@BiblioCat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BiblioCat)\ **Post date:** [April 21, 2001, 2:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/have-you-found-jesus/62656/24 "2001-04-21T14:52:29Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Fenris \* > \*\* > > > [@](#): > > > > \*Originally posted by Libertarian \* > > \*\*Okay. Since there are no adults in here, and the thread has been hijacked to hell and back, I might as well leave the spoiler: Tina wins. Jesus said that Roger would be booted last night, Colby next, then Liz, then Tina wins the jury vote over Keith. Enjoy the show. Me, I like knowing. \*\* > > Either you’re kidding or the website is full of sh\*t (I suspect the web-site): When I watched, I got a completely diffrent sequence and winner. > Huh. How 'bout that? > Fenris \*\* What did you hear, Fenris? When I listened, I got exactly what Libertarian said. And anyway, I thought no one knew who won yet, since they were going to do the final voting (counting the final votes) live on the final show. ---
**Author:** ![Wicked\_Blue](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/2acd7d/32.png) [@Wicked\_Blue](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wicked_Blue)\ **Post date:** [April 21, 2001, 3:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/have-you-found-jesus/62656/25 "2001-04-21T15:35:06Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Eutychus55 \* > \*\*Survivor 2 makes the baby Jesus cry. \*\* Thank you, **Euty** , for making me laugh out loud. 🙂 Rose ---
**Author:** ![Flymaster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/c4cdca/32.png) [@Flymaster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Flymaster)\ **Post date:** [April 21, 2001, 8:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/have-you-found-jesus/62656/26 "2001-04-21T20:09:22Z")
Jesus must be rolling over in his grave after this thread. ---
**Author:** ![jab1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/ee7513/32.png) [@jab1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jab1)\ **Post date:** [April 21, 2001, 10:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/have-you-found-jesus/62656/27 "2001-04-21T22:46:23Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Libertarian \* > **Okay. Since there are no adults in here,** People who like to have fun aren’t adults? Man, the stick up your butt must have a stick up ITS butt! Besides, it’s your own fault because of the thread title you chose. > [@](#): > > \*\*Me, I like knowing. \*\* You mean you like knowing the outcome of TV shows and movies and books and stuff? (Or is it just the bad TV shows, like _Survivor_?) You want to know how you’re going to die? I don’t like spoilers, myself. Stephen King once said that books should be published with the final chapter missing. A reader would get the last chapter only after proving he (or she) had read the other chapters. I couldn’t care less who won one of those so-called “reality” shows. ---
**Author:** ![soulmurk](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/b782af/32.png) [@soulmurk](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/soulmurk)\ **Post date:** [April 21, 2001, 10:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/have-you-found-jesus/62656/28 "2001-04-21T22:51:19Z")
Haven’t had a good laugh like this in a while, thank you all. Oh, and I’ll look forward to meeting you all in the fiery pits of hell 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Fenris](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fenris/32/498_2.png) [@Fenris](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fenris)\ **Post date:** [April 22, 2001, 7:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/have-you-found-jesus/62656/29 "2001-04-22T19:37:47Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Kinsey \* > \*\*What did you hear, Fenris? > When I listened, I got exactly what Libertarian said. And anyway, I thought no one knew who won yet, since they were going to do the final voting (counting the final votes) live on the final show. \*\* When I watched it, it said Keith was the winner (Tina was the runner-up). I find this unlikely: I think if it’s Keith vs Tina, Tina wins. But that fact that it’s giving out different answers lends credence to the idea that it’s just a scam. Has anyone followed this site for a while? Fenris ---
**Author:** ![sk8rixtx](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/858c86/32.png) [@sk8rixtx](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sk8rixtx)\ **Post date:** [April 23, 2001, 3:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/have-you-found-jesus/62656/30 "2001-04-23T03:42:20Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Protesilaus \* > \*\* > > > [@](#): > > > > **Have You Found Jesus?** > > No, but I saw a guy at IHOP a couple of years ago that looked like Elvis. Does that count for anything? \*\* I saw Elvis in a potato chip once. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![mnemosyne](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c4cdca/32.png) [@mnemosyne](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mnemosyne)\ **Post date:** [April 23, 2001, 3:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/have-you-found-jesus/62656/31 "2001-04-23T03:58:39Z")
Once asked of me by a 3 yaer old. " No, can you SPELL Jesus?" Girl couldn’t spell her own name, but now that I think of it, I wouldn’t be surprised if she could spell Jesus… ---
**Author:** ![curwin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/f05b48/32.png) [@curwin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/curwin)\ **Post date:** [April 23, 2001, 6:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/have-you-found-jesus/62656/32 "2001-04-23T06:16:29Z")
I found this: [http://www.nationallampoon.com/MoDstyles/newsflash/main/nf\_jesus.asp](http://www.nationallampoon.com/MoDstyles/newsflash/main/nf_jesus.asp) ---
**Author:** ![Spritle](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/5daacb/32.png) [@Spritle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spritle)\ **Post date:** [April 23, 2001, 3:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/have-you-found-jesus/62656/33 "2001-04-23T15:57:27Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Protesilaus \* > \*\*No, but I saw a guy at IHOP a couple of years ago that looked like Elvis. Does that count for anything? \*\* There’s a guy down at the chip shop swears he’s Elvis. (but he’s a liar 🙂 ) ---
**Author:** ![Superdude](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/superdude/32/13450_2.png) [@Superdude](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Superdude)\ **Post date:** [April 23, 2001, 4:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/have-you-found-jesus/62656/34 "2001-04-23T16:10:54Z")
Friend of mine looks **JUST LIKE JESUS**. Local churches actually ask him to play Jesus for their local productions, and to scare the crap outta kids who go to church, but act like the church rules don’t apply to them (works good with preschoolers). ---
**Author:** ![don\_Jaime](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/b4bc9f/32.png) [@don\_Jaime](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/don_Jaime)\ **Post date:** [April 23, 2001, 7:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/have-you-found-jesus/62656/35 "2001-04-23T19:43:27Z")
I found Jesus on a milk carton the other day. Does that count? ---
**Author:** ![Liberal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/848f3c/32.png) [@Liberal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Liberal)\ **Post date:** [April 29, 2001, 9:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/have-you-found-jesus/62656/36 "2001-04-29T09:16:00Z")
Bump. ---
**Author:** ![Weirddave](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/919ad9/32.png) [@Weirddave](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Weirddave)\ **Post date:** [April 29, 2001, 4:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/have-you-found-jesus/62656/37 "2001-04-29T16:51:29Z")
[Found him!](http://www.jesus.com/) And he’s available! ---
**Author:** ![MsRobyn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/90ced4/32.png) [@MsRobyn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MsRobyn)\ **Post date:** [April 29, 2001, 5:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/have-you-found-jesus/62656/38 "2001-04-29T17:11:55Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Weirddave \* > \*\*[Found him!](http://www.jesus.com/) And he’s available! \*\* D’ya think he minds Jewish women? :snicker: Robin ---
**Author:** ![Mercutio](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/51bf81/32.png) [@Mercutio](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mercutio)\ **Post date:** [April 29, 2001, 5:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/have-you-found-jesus/62656/39 "2001-04-29T17:20:03Z")
I did a couple of tours with him in Nam. We were 40 clicks away from Da Nang when Jesus decided it was a good time to comb his beard. In those 30 seconds Charlie got the jump on him… **JESUS! JESUS!** Oh, your dad! ::sobs:: ---
**Author:** ![Harmonious\_Discord](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/74df32/32.png) [@Harmonious\_Discord](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Harmonious_Discord)\ **Post date:** [April 29, 2001, 6:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/have-you-found-jesus/62656/40 "2001-04-29T18:22:39Z")
According to the Bible Jesus ascended into heaven. The world will be destroyed upon his return. I haven’t died and the world is still here. No, I haven’t found Jesus. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/have-you-found-jesus/62656.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/have-you-found-jesus/62656.md?page=3)