# Have You Found Jesus? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [April 20, 2001, 10:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/have-you-found-jesus/62656 "2001-04-20T10:30:05Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 10\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![MysterEcks](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f475e1/32.png) [@MysterEcks](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MysterEcks)\ **Post date:** [April 29, 2001, 7:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/have-you-found-jesus/62656/41 "2001-04-29T19:28:18Z")
**Libertarian** said: > [@](#): > > Since there are no adults in here This _surprises_you? > [@](#): > > Tina wins. Jesus said that Roger would be booted last night, Colby next, then Liz, then Tina wins the jury vote over Keith. So I’d seen. But Colby’s still there and Lis(z) ain’t, so I must conclude that “Jesus” is full of shit. I like knowing too–about fate, about \*Survivor,\*about whatever. If you want to know who’s getting booted before the show, check out what the [Ellipsiiis Brain Trust](http://www.ellipsiiis.com/survivor/ourpick.shtml) has to say. Their picks are posted early Thursday afternoons, and they have correctly predicted every bootee since Ep 7. You only get a few hours advance, but they will most likely be right. ---
**Author:** ![Liberal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/848f3c/32.png) [@Liberal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Liberal)\ **Post date:** [April 29, 2001, 8:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/have-you-found-jesus/62656/42 "2001-04-29T20:36:39Z")
MysterEcks: Yeah, I think Ellipsiiis picks up early network feeds or something. I can never stop myself from peeking at their poetic prophecy! Except this time. This time, I don’t want to know until Thursday night. How 'bout you? Like someone said here, Jesus was wrong, but Ellipsiiis wasn’t. In fact, they got four out of four last week! ---
**Author:** ![jab1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/ee7513/32.png) [@jab1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jab1)\ **Post date:** [July 6, 2001, 7:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/have-you-found-jesus/62656/43 "2001-07-06T19:17:33Z")
FADE IN: The final gun sounds. The winner begins to celebrate. The song “When You Wish Upon a Star” is heard on the soundtrack. A TV reporter asks **Libertarian** a question: “Now that one of your threads has made it to ‘Threadspotting,’ what are you going to do now?” “I’m going to Disney World!” Cut to a shot of Cinderella’s Castle at night with fireworks exploding behind it while Jiminy Cricket croons, “…your dreams co-o-o-ome tru-u-u-u-u-u-u-ue…!” FADE OUT. ---
**Author:** ![moronmountain](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/b19c9b/32.png) [@moronmountain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/moronmountain)\ **Post date:** [July 8, 2001, 1:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/have-you-found-jesus/62656/44 "2001-07-08T01:51:15Z")
Well, as a Jehovah’s Witness…um…what magazine would be our edition of “Where’s Waldo” exactly? I’m not sure as I’m familiar with that one. Either way, I’m pretty sure I could find Waldo in under 2 minutes. Oh yeah, something related to the OP…um…Survivor sucks! ---
**Author:** ![WolfpackJeep](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wolfpackjeep/32/2921_2.png) [@WolfpackJeep](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WolfpackJeep)\ **Post date:** [July 8, 2001, 2:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/have-you-found-jesus/62656/45 "2001-07-08T02:16:24Z")
I know where Jesus is! He’s in the bathroom! When I was little, I remember seeing my mom knock on the bathroom door while saying “Jesus, are you still in there?!” ---
**Author:** ![Marvel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/779978/32.png) [@Marvel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Marvel)\ **Post date:** [July 8, 2001, 2:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/have-you-found-jesus/62656/46 "2001-07-08T02:42:10Z")
Don’t feel too bad about your thread being hijacked - look at all the brilliant comments it lead to! Haven’t read the whole thing yet, but so far Spritle’s first one is the best. Gotta share that one with the hubby… Doesn’t Watch “Survivor” But “The Daily Show” Kicks Ass, Patty ---
**Author:** ![David\_B](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/51bf81/32.png) [@David\_B](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/David_B)\ **Post date:** [July 8, 2001, 1:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/have-you-found-jesus/62656/47 "2001-07-08T13:43:54Z")
Getting back to the original discussion (which I missed the first time around), I’d just like to point out that while Jesus was wrong, [The Unbelievable Bloombergini](http://www.realitynewsonline.com/article1117.html) had a very good record in his _Survivor_ predictions. Not perfect, mind you, but what psychic is ever 100% accurate, right? Oh, and if you want a more serious look at a supposedly “real psychic” who did make predictions – in the _Chicago Tribune_ no less – take a look at [how he did](http://www.realitynewsonline.com/article1132.html). Here’s a hint – he predicted Debb would win. 😃 I’ve also just been told that the Unbelievable Bloombergini has a prediction for _Big Brother 2_: Nicole will be the first one booted out. ---
**Author:** ![tracer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tracer/32/20578_2.png) [@tracer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tracer)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2001, 5:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/have-you-found-jesus/62656/48 "2001-07-09T05:01:55Z")
Would the “Unbelievable” Bloombergini be even more remarkable than, say, the “Amazing” Bloombergini? And for that matter, where does “Unbelievable” lie in the spectrum that goes “Light speed … Ridiculous speed … Ludicrous speed”? Would “Unbelievable speed” be even faster? Would they go past plaid and go straight to polka dots? ---
**Author:** ![Kaje](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/f04885/32.png) [@Kaje](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kaje)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2001, 10:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/have-you-found-jesus/62656/49 "2001-07-09T10:29:57Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Libertarian \* > **Okay. Since there are no adults in here** So hanging on the outcome of a network TV show is the _adult_ thing to do? Shit it looks like I’ve resorted back to infancy ---
**Author:** ![David\_B](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/51bf81/32.png) [@David\_B](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/David_B)\ **Post date:** [July 10, 2001, 2:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/have-you-found-jesus/62656/50 "2001-07-10T02:44:00Z")
tracer asked: > [@](#): > > Would the “Unbelievable” Bloombergini be even more remarkable than, say, the “Amazing” Bloombergini? Well, he would be more unbelievable. Besides, “Amazing” was already taken. > [@](#): > > And for that matter, where does “Unbelievable” lie in the spectrum that goes “Light speed … Ridiculous speed … Ludicrous speed”? Would “Unbelievable speed” be even faster? Would they go past plaid and go straight to polka dots? The Unbelievable Bloombergini does not need to travel the cosmos, because his vast psychic powers allow the cosmos to come to him. Thus, his speed of thought is faster than anything else imaginable (or even unimaginable). [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/have-you-found-jesus/62656.md?page=2)