# Have you never committed a Crime? **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [August 13, 2021, 10:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/have-you-never-committed-a-crime/948633 "2021-08-13T22:32:00Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Somethingwitty1](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/somethingwitty1/32/8899_2.png) [@Somethingwitty1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Somethingwitty1)\ **Post date:** [August 13, 2021, 10:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/have-you-never-committed-a-crime/948633/1 "2021-08-13T22:32:00Z")
Take out Traffic violations/Parking laws. Most if not all of mine were youthful indiscretions. Assault and battery in a school yard. Buying admission to one movie but sneaking into a second movie. Drinking underage. As an adult I can’t think of much. Bought some fireworks. Might have skirted local building permits. Anybody never done anything illegal? Like ever? ---
**Author:** ![WildaBeast](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wildabeast/32/6_2.png) [@WildaBeast](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WildaBeast)\ **Post date:** [August 13, 2021, 10:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/have-you-never-committed-a-crime/948633/2 "2021-08-13T22:40:27Z")
In college I downloaded copyrighted music from Napster, if that counts. ---
**Author:** ![Somethingwitty1](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/somethingwitty1/32/8899_2.png) [@Somethingwitty1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Somethingwitty1)\ **Post date:** [August 13, 2021, 10:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/have-you-never-committed-a-crime/948633/3 "2021-08-13T22:44:44Z")
Yeah, I did that too. ---
**Author:** ![Procrustus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/procrustus/32/2994_2.png) [@Procrustus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Procrustus)\ **Post date:** [August 13, 2021, 10:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/have-you-never-committed-a-crime/948633/4 "2021-08-13T22:51:15Z")
Uncharged crimes in my past: Failure to register with Selective Service Cocaine (a few times) and Marijuana (a few more times) DUI That’s all I can think of, but I wouldn’t be surprised if i took the tag off a mattress or something. ---
**Author:** ![Somethingwitty1](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/somethingwitty1/32/8899_2.png) [@Somethingwitty1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Somethingwitty1)\ **Post date:** [August 13, 2021, 10:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/have-you-never-committed-a-crime/948633/5 "2021-08-13T22:51:50Z")
I’m not so much interested in what petty crimes a lot of us are guilty of, more so interested in people who have never committed any crime, or if any such people exist? ---
**Author:** ![SmartAleq](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/smartaleq/32/163_2.png) [@SmartAleq](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SmartAleq)\ **Post date:** [August 13, 2021, 10:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/have-you-never-committed-a-crime/948633/6 "2021-08-13T22:56:55Z")
Considering how many laws are active on the books (about ten thousand federal alone if I recall correctly and then there are state and local ones as well) it’s essentially impossible to live your life without violating some law at one point or another. Many people don’t ever know they’re potential felons who’ve just not been noticed yet. I suspect this is considered to be a feature rather than a bug by the PTB, on the “Al Capone was imprisoned for tax evasion” principle. The federal government made me a daily felon for almost fifty years over a plant and still considers me a felon if I cross the Columbia River from one state where the plant is legal to another one where it’s equally legal while carrying some of that plant–but somewhere on the bridge I am an unindicted felon. This is about how much sense most laws make. ---
**Author:** ![Dung\_Beetle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dung_beetle/32/7945_2.png) [@Dung\_Beetle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dung_Beetle)\ **Post date:** [August 13, 2021, 11:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/have-you-never-committed-a-crime/948633/7 "2021-08-13T23:06:19Z")
I’m a criminal on the loose. ---
**Author:** ![Roderick\_Femm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/roderick_femm/32/14875_2.png) [@Roderick\_Femm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Roderick_Femm)\ **Post date:** [August 13, 2021, 11:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/have-you-never-committed-a-crime/948633/8 "2021-08-13T23:11:41Z")
You say you’re looking for that perfect non-criminal person. Why should I believe that? Maybe you’re some kind of informer or police spy, trying to trick people to confess their crimes on the internet. Uh-uh, not biting. ---
**Author:** ![Somethingwitty1](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/somethingwitty1/32/8899_2.png) [@Somethingwitty1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Somethingwitty1)\ **Post date:** [August 13, 2021, 11:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/have-you-never-committed-a-crime/948633/9 "2021-08-13T23:24:16Z")
To: HQ From: Somethingwitty1 I think I caught a criminal, he denies being a criminal, so he must be a criminal. Our plan is working. ---
**Author:** ![Somethingwitty1](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/somethingwitty1/32/8899_2.png) [@Somethingwitty1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Somethingwitty1)\ **Post date:** [August 13, 2021, 11:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/have-you-never-committed-a-crime/948633/10 "2021-08-13T23:24:39Z")
Oops wrong window. ---
**Author:** ![TokyoBayer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tokyobayer/32/13989_2.png) [@TokyoBayer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TokyoBayer)\ **Post date:** [August 13, 2021, 11:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/have-you-never-committed-a-crime/948633/11 "2021-08-13T23:24:44Z")
Not me, of course there are things best left unsaid about my past. but to the best of my knowledge, my mother never knowingly committed any crime and did very well at complying with traffic laws and such. She’s the Abraham Lincoln type of honesty and would drive back to the store to return an extra dime in change. Saints are annoying to live with in the real world. She wouldn’t even go one mile an hour over the speed limit no matter how late we were. ---
**Author:** ![susan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/susan/32/17537_2.png) [@susan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/susan)\ **Post date:** [August 13, 2021, 11:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/have-you-never-committed-a-crime/948633/12 "2021-08-13T23:24:58Z")
Why exclude traffic and parking? ---
**Author:** ![Somethingwitty1](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/somethingwitty1/32/8899_2.png) [@Somethingwitty1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Somethingwitty1)\ **Post date:** [August 13, 2021, 11:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/have-you-never-committed-a-crime/948633/13 "2021-08-13T23:25:23Z")
Well really that be everyone. ---
**Author:** ![PhillyGuy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/ed655f/32.png) [@PhillyGuy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PhillyGuy)\ **Post date:** [August 13, 2021, 11:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/have-you-never-committed-a-crime/948633/14 "2021-08-13T23:27:17Z")
> [@Somethingwitty1](#): > > I’m not so much interested in what petty crimes a lot of us are guilty of, more so interested in people who have never committed any crime, or if any such people exist? Hard to see how. Where I live, almost any plumbing repair technically requires a permit. ---
**Author:** ![JaneDoe42](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/janedoe42/32/14104_2.png) [@JaneDoe42](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JaneDoe42)\ **Post date:** [August 13, 2021, 11:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/have-you-never-committed-a-crime/948633/15 "2021-08-13T23:59:24Z")
Almost every day of my life since I was around 14. Felonies every time until a couple of years ago\*. Oh, and I rarely drive less than 5 miles over the speed limit. Other than that, I’ve been a productive member of society with a reasonably high clearance level. \*marijuana use and possession. ---
**Author:** ![gnoitall](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/bb73d2/32.png) [@gnoitall](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gnoitall)\ **Post date:** [August 14, 2021, 12:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/have-you-never-committed-a-crime/948633/16 "2021-08-14T00:19:36Z")
I shot a man in Reno just to… wait… I’m being informed that this wasn’t me. It was Johnny Cash. Sorry. ---
**Author:** ![elbows](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/b3f665/32.png) [@elbows](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elbows)\ **Post date:** [August 14, 2021, 12:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/have-you-never-committed-a-crime/948633/17 "2021-08-14T00:27:36Z")
I smuggled chewing gum into Singapore a couple of times. Never had a license, but did drive a car a that one time. ---
**Author:** ![Jackmannii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jackmannii/32/311_2.png) [@Jackmannii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jackmannii)\ **Post date:** [August 14, 2021, 12:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/have-you-never-committed-a-crime/948633/18 "2021-08-14T00:41:11Z")
_Have you never been crooked_ _Have you never tried_ _To find out what life was like inside?_ _Have you never been a felon_ _Just to hear them squeal_ _Have you never drawn prison time for real?_ ---
**Author:** ![Sam\_Stone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecccb3/32.png) [@Sam\_Stone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sam_Stone)\ **Post date:** [August 14, 2021, 12:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/have-you-never-committed-a-crime/948633/19 "2021-08-14T00:50:22Z")
I don’t think it’s possible to go very long without committing a crime. There are so many selectively-enforced regulations on the books that it’s nearly impossible to be productive and not run afoul of them. I myself am guilty of the horrible crime of not installing a low-flow toilet in my house built after 1994. I had a gas can that didn’t have a proper auto-closing vent. That’s a fine. We have ‘garbage police’ that come around to ticket people who don’t put food waste, recyclables and garbage in their proper bins. So if you have a wrapper with food stuck on it, you’ll probably break the law because food goes in one bin and the wrapper in another. And I’m not going to start washing my garbage, so I will remain a criminal. I have done electrical work in my home without a permit - sometimes to correct the shoddy work of people who did. I am guilty of flying a little foam airplane in a park with my kid - which I found out later was a chargeable offense. I also have a little toy quadcopter that weighs more than 227 grams which I have not registered with the government. I think I could get a $5,000 fine for that. I heinously broke the law once by having mudflaps on my car that were 1/2" too narrow. I actually got charged for that one - a $150 fine, and a lecture from the police over what a ‘disgrace’ I was. We were out of gas once on the farm and had to get to town, so we used a gallon of our untaxed ‘purple’ gas for an emergency drive to a gas station. If caught, we could have been in big trouble. Our city just lowered the default speed limit to 40 km/h (25 mph). I have a hell of a time staying under that speed, as the car simply doesn’t like it. It’s also stupid and wastes gas and slows everyone down. But the city is promising major enforcement, so I guess I’ll be a criminal for that too. I could go on. We are all criminals. ---
**Author:** ![PastTense](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pasttense/32/14550_2.png) [@PastTense](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PastTense)\ **Post date:** [August 14, 2021, 1:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/have-you-never-committed-a-crime/948633/20 "2021-08-14T01:01:12Z")
Well at no one here has been guilty of sex crimes, ranging from illegal underage sex to copping a feel to seducing a member of the opposite sex who was quite drunk and thus unable to legally give consent… [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/have-you-never-committed-a-crime/948633.md?page=2)