# Have you never had a birthday party? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [February 17, 2009, 10:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/have-you-never-had-a-birthday-party/486324 "2009-02-17T22:09:17Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Glazer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/a88e57/32.png) [@Glazer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Glazer)\ **Post date:** [February 18, 2009, 5:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/have-you-never-had-a-birthday-party/486324/21 "2009-02-18T05:21:06Z")
Don’t feel bad. You don’t miss what you’ve never had. ---
**Author:** ![CaerieD](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/da6949/32.png) [@CaerieD](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CaerieD)\ **Post date:** [February 18, 2009, 5:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/have-you-never-had-a-birthday-party/486324/22 "2009-02-18T05:31:58Z")
> [@Sleeps\_With\_Butterflies](#): > > Man, this thread makes me feel bad for some of you. Everyone deserves a birthday party now and then! > > My brother never seemed interested in birthday parties after about age 8 (although my mother would always do the cake & favorite dinner thing), but my sister and I had birthday parties every year up until we were 17. > > How else can teen girls learn to be vicious little bitches if there aren’t drama filled birthday slumber parties to attend? Well, I think I _went_ to a birthday party once, when I was seven, but otherwise I apparently have no experience with them whatsoever. I’d always figured that having cake and ice cream, getting presents from the family, and getting to pick out dinner was what most people did for birthdays. I had always assumed that true birthday _party_ parties were a rare thing, limited mostly to sitcoms and teen movies. Apparently, I was even more unpopular than I’d realized. ---
**Author:** ![AngelSoft](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/angelsoft/32/440_2.png) [@AngelSoft](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AngelSoft)\ **Post date:** [February 18, 2009, 5:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/have-you-never-had-a-birthday-party/486324/23 "2009-02-18T05:43:14Z")
> [@CaerieD](#): > > Apparently, I was even more unpopular than I’d realized. Seriously. Thanks a lot OP for making all of us realize how much more horrible our social lives REALLY were as kids. :mad: ---
**Author:** ![NinetyWt](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/cc9497/32.png) [@NinetyWt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/NinetyWt)\ **Post date:** [February 18, 2009, 5:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/have-you-never-had-a-birthday-party/486324/24 "2009-02-18T05:50:22Z")
> [@Sleeps\_With\_Butterflies](#): > > Man, this thread makes me feel bad for some of you. Everyone deserves a birthday party now and then! I probably only had a handful of them as a kid, but - when you get grown, you can throw as many parties as you like, can’t you? I’ve had many birthday parties as an adult - some I threw myself, some my friends threw for me; everything from small get-togethers with a few close friends to full 2- or 3-day country drink-and-eat barbeques/crawfish boils/fish frys. I used to plan birthday parties for my husband(s) - didn’t any of y’all do any of that? (speaking to the party-less people). ---
**Author:** ![CaerieD](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/da6949/32.png) [@CaerieD](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CaerieD)\ **Post date:** [February 18, 2009, 6:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/have-you-never-had-a-birthday-party/486324/25 "2009-02-18T06:03:06Z")
> [@NinetyWt](#): > > I probably only had a handful of them as a kid, but - when you get grown, you can throw as many parties as you like, can’t you? I’ve had many birthday parties as an adult - some I threw myself, some my friends threw for me; everything from small get-togethers with a few close friends to full 2- or 3-day country drink-and-eat barbeques/crawfish boils/fish frys. I used to plan birthday parties for my husband(s) - didn’t any of y’all do any of that? (speaking to the party-less people). Not really. I was homeschooled from fourth grade on and parties with friends weren’t part my family’s “culture”, I guess you could say. The fact that this sort of thing is apparently more widespread than I thought is honestly surprising. I was never really encouraged to have friends over and I can’t recall my mother ever telling me that I _could_ invite someone for my birthday. Barbecues, birthdays, housewarming events, etc, involved family (including extended family) pretty much exclusively. Even as an adult, I’ve never invited friends over to my house for some event, either for my benefit or someone else’s. Not having a background in it, there’s something…presumptive about it to me, I guess. Like, why would they _want_ to come to my house? ---
**Author:** ![missred](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/missred/32/14096_2.png) [@missred](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/missred)\ **Post date:** [February 18, 2009, 6:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/have-you-never-had-a-birthday-party/486324/26 "2009-02-18T06:40:14Z")
As kids, we did the pick-out-the-dinner-menu, cake and ice cream and a couple of gifts at home thing too. About second or third grade, we were allowed to bring a friend home to share in the family celebration as well. Although a couple of my sisters had slumber parties for some birthdays, my birthday was too close to Christmas (sometimes even over Christmas break) to do anything like that. My ex gave me a half birthday party in the summer once though, if that counts. It was actually fun: a pig on the spit, swimming, music and dancing at a time of year when nobody was going to freeze their buns off. ---
**Author:** ![xanthous](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/x/53a042/32.png) [@xanthous](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/xanthous)\ **Post date:** [February 18, 2009, 6:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/have-you-never-had-a-birthday-party/486324/27 "2009-02-18T06:52:10Z")
> [@Quasimodal](#): > > Also August 27th sucked for birthdays. For me it was always the first day before school began. No one ever remembered…wasn’t even announced on the intercom ☹ > > Oh well 🙂 Me too! Me too! I’m Aug 30, and I always got school clothes for my birthday, while my spring-born siblings always got cool stuff. _Tres suxxors._ ---
**Author:** ![Magiver](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/4491bb/32.png) [@Magiver](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Magiver)\ **Post date:** [February 18, 2009, 7:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/have-you-never-had-a-birthday-party/486324/28 "2009-02-18T07:05:02Z")
> [@tdn](#): > > I was just having a conversation about birthdays the other day, and it dawned on my that I have never, in my entire life, had a birthday party. I’ve been invited to plenty, but never has one been thrown for me. It’s just something that we never did in my family. Birthdays were family affairs, in which the celebrant got to choose any restaurant (within reason), then home for cake and presents. And they were always good times. I have no regrets. > > The only exceptions were when my sister turned 10-ish, and insisted on a party, and when my parents turned milestone years. (This year we’ll gather somewhere in the midwest to celebrate mom’s 70th.) > > So what’s your story? Have you gone through your entire life without? can’t remember any. might have had one when I was 1 or 2. We did the family thing and that was it. ---
**Author:** ![thirdwarning](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ecccb3/32.png) [@thirdwarning](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/thirdwarning)\ **Post date:** [February 18, 2009, 7:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/have-you-never-had-a-birthday-party/486324/29 "2009-02-18T07:26:14Z")
Had one when I was six and one that I shared with a friend when we both turned 14. That’s it. Now I get taken out to dinner, someplace we all like. This year we had pizza and I got a present from my husband in the store bag. ---
**Author:** ![EpicNonsense](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/c37758/32.png) [@EpicNonsense](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/EpicNonsense)\ **Post date:** [February 18, 2009, 8:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/have-you-never-had-a-birthday-party/486324/30 "2009-02-18T08:00:11Z")
I’m lucky if I hear “Happy Birthday” on my birthdays. I’ve had a few birthdays growing up. A few parties, a few cakes… nothing extravagant. I tend to show up at alot of other friend’s birthdays though. Maybe people just don’t like me or something. Makes me wonder… Oh, and I forgot to mention. My birthday is on the 27th of Dec. That also might be the reason. ---
**Author:** ![Northern\_Piper](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/northern_piper/32/5304_2.png) [@Northern\_Piper](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Northern_Piper)\ **Post date:** [February 18, 2009, 11:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/have-you-never-had-a-birthday-party/486324/31 "2009-02-18T11:21:19Z")
> [@NinetyWt](#): > > I probably only had a handful of them as a kid, but - when you get grown, you can throw as many parties as you like, can’t you? I’ve had many birthday parties as an adult - some I threw myself, some my friends threw for me; everything from small get-togethers with a few close friends to full 2- or 3-day country drink-and-eat barbeques/crawfish boils/fish frys. I used to plan birthday parties for my husband(s) - didn’t any of y’all do any of that? (speaking to the party-less people). Nope. Don’t think I’ve had a birthday cake since I was a teenager. Piper Dad’s birthday is about a week away from mine, so Mrs Piper and I usually take him to a restaurant for his birthday, but that’s about it for me. I actively avoid having a birthday party, for much the same reason that **Quasimodal** mentioned. ---
**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\ **Post date:** [February 18, 2009, 2:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/have-you-never-had-a-birthday-party/486324/32 "2009-02-18T14:14:39Z")
> [@AngelSoft](#): > > Seriously. Thanks a lot OP for making all of us realize how much more horrible our social lives REALLY were as kids. :mad: Woah! I didn’t mean for this to turn into a feel-bad thread! Although I suppose we could throw a collective pity party. It seems that b-day parties are not, in fact, that common. And as I said, I never really felt bad about it – my family always came through for me, and I never felt lonely or unloved on my birthdays. In fact, I always considered birthdays to be special family times. Come to think of it, most adults I know who have parties organize them themselves. It seems a little presumptuous to me, but as long as it’s a fun time, it’s all good. One of the few times I knew an adult who got thrown a party, he didn’t even want one. His girlfriend took him out to a fancy dinner, then brought him home. His plan was to get her from clothed to naked in under 5 seconds. His plan was foiled, because when they got into her apartment, they were greeted by 30 or so drunken revelers yelling “Surprise!” ---
**Author:** ![gigi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/a587f6/32.png) [@gigi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gigi)\ **Post date:** [February 18, 2009, 2:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/have-you-never-had-a-birthday-party/486324/33 "2009-02-18T14:31:11Z")
I grew up without parties where outside people were invited in. My parents, brother and I would have cake and presents at home. When I turned 16 (senior year in HS), my French class surprised me with a cake and that was the first time non-family celebrated with me. ETA: I also didn’t get invited to parties so celebrating with family was the norm and I didn’t feel bad about it. We didn’t have TV so I wasn’t aware of a lot of the social norms. I threw myself a party for 25 and for 40 and I think that might be it. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![dwc1970](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/a183cd/32.png) [@dwc1970](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dwc1970)\ **Post date:** [February 18, 2009, 2:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/have-you-never-had-a-birthday-party/486324/34 "2009-02-18T14:59:10Z")
Our family always gets together and we have a dinner, then cake and presents. I don’t think this constitutes a party, though. As a kid I didn’t have very many friends so I didn’t have the “party” that people tend to think of. Did anyone ever have a party at McDonald’s, Chuck E. Cheese, etc.? How did it go? ---
**Author:** ![Khadaji](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/9e8a1a/32.png) [@Khadaji](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Khadaji)\ **Post date:** [February 18, 2009, 3:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/have-you-never-had-a-birthday-party/486324/35 "2009-02-18T15:20:50Z")
I make a big deal about my birthday, so I have had a couple. You would think more since I do make a big deal about it. If ever a woman wanted to give me a special gift, it would be a big surprise birthday party. I wanted one all my childhood, but since my b-day is near Christmas (and more probably because we were poor) I never had one. ---
**Author:** ![NinetyWt](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/cc9497/32.png) [@NinetyWt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/NinetyWt)\ **Post date:** [February 18, 2009, 4:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/have-you-never-had-a-birthday-party/486324/36 "2009-02-18T16:53:41Z")
> [@tdn](#): > > It seems that b-day parties are not, in fact, that common. I think they are, now. For example, as my kids were growing up, every one of their friends always had a birthday party, with lots of other kids invited. They were born in the 80’s. **dwc** , I never had one at McDonald’s or Chuck E. Cheese for myself, but I’ve taken my kids to dozens. I’ve had a couple for them at C.E.C. but not McDonalds. The kids enjoy playing all the games, but it’s so crowded and the pizza is WAY overpriced. Most of the parties I had for them were at home, but with decorations and party hats and favors and the whole nine yards. **CaerieD** , that’s interesting. No baby or wedding showers either, then, I guess? That seems to be quite an institution here. I finally get old enough that people my age stop having kids and getting hitched, and now my daughters are recieving such invites from _their_ friends. 😉 BTW y’all are not going to believe it but today is my birthday. I’m 49! Woo! ---
**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\ **Post date:** [February 18, 2009, 4:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/have-you-never-had-a-birthday-party/486324/37 "2009-02-18T16:57:43Z")
> [@NinetyWt](#): > > BTW y’all are not going to believe it but today is my birthday. I’m 49! Woo! Woo hoo! Seven times seven spankings! Happy Birthday. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![gigi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/a587f6/32.png) [@gigi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gigi)\ **Post date:** [February 18, 2009, 5:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/have-you-never-had-a-birthday-party/486324/38 "2009-02-18T17:49:06Z")
> [@NinetyWt](#): > > BTW y’all are not going to believe it but today is my birthday. I’m 49! Woo! So what kind of party are you having? Happy Day! ---
**Author:** ![jali](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/ecae2f/32.png) [@jali](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jali)\ **Post date:** [February 18, 2009, 6:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/have-you-never-had-a-birthday-party/486324/39 "2009-02-18T18:01:54Z")
We called it a party - favorite dinner, birthday cake, party hats, balloons, gifts. We did this for everyone’s birthday. I had one or two parties with school friends invited, but that was waaay too much drama for me. The ones who weren’t invited gave me grief on the Monday after - I couldn’t invite 50 kids (my school had 2 classes for each grade). I gave my kids parties with friends until Jr. High. After that, out to dinner (their choice of restaurant) with a couple of friends. I’ve had a cake and gifts ever since - oooh! One big surprise party given by my roommate and his friends back in 1979. Fabulous! ---
**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\ **Post date:** [February 18, 2009, 6:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/have-you-never-had-a-birthday-party/486324/40 "2009-02-18T18:09:12Z")
> [@NinetyWt](#): > > What exactly would constitute a “party”? We would have a cake for the birthday child, and the rest of us would sing “Happy Birthday”, and there would be a few gifts for the child to open. Is that not a party or do you mean, the kind where you invite other children/people? If there isn’t a clown surrounded by raucous conehead midgets, it doesn’t count. 😉 [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/have-you-never-had-a-birthday-party/486324.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/have-you-never-had-a-birthday-party/486324.md?page=3)