# Have you "transitioned to adulthood"? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [August 25, 2010, 1:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/have-you-transitioned-to-adulthood/551353 "2010-08-25T01:41:56Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Superhal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/b4bc9f/32.png) [@Superhal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Superhal)\ **Post date:** [August 25, 2010, 6:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/have-you-transitioned-to-adulthood/551353/21 "2010-08-25T06:50:01Z")
4 out of 5. ---
**Author:** ![Voyager](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/voyager/32/133_2.png) [@Voyager](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Voyager)\ **Post date:** [August 25, 2010, 6:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/have-you-transitioned-to-adulthood/551353/22 "2010-08-25T06:54:28Z")
I completed the last at 30, 28 years ago. It is not clear what completing school means. I was in graduate school for quite a while, but was self-supporting all that time, and got married in the middle of it. In fact my oldest daughter has done the first four - also in grad school now, but also married and self supporting. And, even though I have kids, I’m not sure I’d agree that a mutual desire of a couple to be childless says that they are not yet adults. ---
**Author:** ![Nava](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/da6949/32.png) [@Nava](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nava)\ **Post date:** [August 25, 2010, 9:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/have-you-transitioned-to-adulthood/551353/23 "2010-08-25T09:11:19Z")
The first 3, yes. The other two, I expect to die without passing them. I guess the writer does not believe monks and nuns can be adults… ---
**Author:** ![jjimm](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/ba8739/32.png) [@jjimm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jjimm)\ **Post date:** [August 25, 2010, 9:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/have-you-transitioned-to-adulthood/551353/24 "2010-08-25T09:39:37Z")
42 now 1. 25 2. 21 3. 21 4. 26, 35 5. n/a ---
**Author:** ![AClockworkMelon](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aclockworkmelon/32/10803_2.png) [@AClockworkMelon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AClockworkMelon)\ **Post date:** [August 25, 2010, 9:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/have-you-transitioned-to-adulthood/551353/25 "2010-08-25T09:53:34Z")
Completed high school and considering college. Left home at 18 and returned at 20. xD I’m not financially independent. Never been married. No children (thank God). Don’t plan on spawning. 20-year old child. 😛 ---
**Author:** ![Mr.Accident](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f05b48/32.png) [@Mr.Accident](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr.Accident)\ **Post date:** [August 25, 2010, 10:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/have-you-transitioned-to-adulthood/551353/26 "2010-08-25T10:32:19Z")
1. Not yet. When I find a job I’m getting my GED and going to college. 2. Nope. It’d be a long explanation, but it involves several medical problems, attempted murder, and a young child. 3. Nope, mainly because I can’t find a job since a lot of business have moved out lately. 4. I was once engaged, do I get half points for that? 5. Lost mine 3 months into my fiancee’s pregnancy. ---
**Author:** ![madmonk28](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/madmonk28/32/20811_2.png) [@madmonk28](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/madmonk28)\ **Post date:** [August 25, 2010, 11:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/have-you-transitioned-to-adulthood/551353/27 "2010-08-25T11:35:17Z")
1. Have you completed school? Finished with grad school when I was 30 2. Have you left home? When I was 18 3. Have you become financially independent? Probably when I was in my 20s. 4. Have you married? Living with a women and calling her my wife since I was 31, we got officially married when I was 40. 5. Have you had a child? I had one for lunch, but have never fathered a child. ---
**Author:** ![Acid\_Lamp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/d6d6ee/32.png) [@Acid\_Lamp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Acid_Lamp)\ **Post date:** [August 25, 2010, 11:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/have-you-transitioned-to-adulthood/551353/28 "2010-08-25T11:52:47Z")
I’m 30, Male and have completed all but #5, and I don’t intend to do so. I guess wanting to do something meaningful to you with your life instead of having a kid and staying home when it’s not your vision makes you a child. :rolleyes: My personal measure of adulthood is self sufficiency. If you are _able_ to live on your own and provide for yourself, then you are an adult. ---
**Author:** ![msmith537](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d9b06d/32.png) [@msmith537](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/msmith537)\ **Post date:** [August 25, 2010, 12:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/have-you-transitioned-to-adulthood/551353/29 "2010-08-25T12:22:42Z")
1. Have you completed school? - Yes. I completed graduate school at 28 2. Have you left home? - Yes. College at 18 and permenantly at 24. 3. Have you become financially independent? - Yes. Since leaving home at 24. 4. Have you married? - No, but in a serious relationship. 5. Have you had a child? - No. TBD. 37 M IMHO, the whole “failure to launch” thing has been getting worse for the past 20 years. I mean why wouldn’t it? It’s getting tougher for kids graduating college to find high-paying meaningful jobs. And that stuff - job, mortgage, nagging wife, kids - all pretty much sucks. At least it does when you are 25 and everyone else is partying all weekend. And kids these days seem to be taking longer to grow up and mature. Why is the model for today’s 20-something a short, fat, socially awkward texting nerd who can’t get laid? In my day, that was you expected to see of a kid in middle school or high school and they were expected to grow out of it. Between the internet and texting and constant helicopter parenting, kids are reaching their 20s without being exposed to the sort of experiences they need to become adults. ---
**Author:** ![Vihaga](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/b4bc9f/32.png) [@Vihaga](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Vihaga)\ **Post date:** [August 25, 2010, 12:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/have-you-transitioned-to-adulthood/551353/30 "2010-08-25T12:49:32Z")
**1. Have you completed school?** I finished graduate school at 29. **2. Have you left home?** I was mostly gone at 18 for college, but came home for two summers. After that summers were at internships, and I completely left home at age 22, when I started graduate school. **3. Have you become financially independent?** Yes. Since leaving home at 22. **4. Have you married?** Yes, at age 27, and we’d been living together for four years at that point and lived pretty much as if we were married already. **5. Have you had a child?** Not yet. I’m a 31 year old woman. ---
**Author:** ![Leaffan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/leaffan/32/299_2.png) [@Leaffan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Leaffan)\ **Post date:** [August 25, 2010, 1:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/have-you-transitioned-to-adulthood/551353/31 "2010-08-25T13:14:54Z")
1. 21 2. 22 3. 22 4. 34 5. 35 ---
**Author:** ![Anaamika](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Anaamika](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anaamika)\ **Post date:** [August 25, 2010, 1:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/have-you-transitioned-to-adulthood/551353/32 "2010-08-25T13:21:32Z")
What an old fuddy duddy idea. 🙂 I have completed the first three, plan to complete the fourth one at some point in my life, and never, ever plan to complete the fifth one. And yet I think I achieved adulthood when I gained financial independence. ---
**Author:** ![Qadgop\_the\_Mercotan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/qadgop_the_mercotan/32/83_2.png) [@Qadgop\_the\_Mercotan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Qadgop_the_Mercotan)\ **Post date:** [August 25, 2010, 1:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/have-you-transitioned-to-adulthood/551353/33 "2010-08-25T13:21:56Z")
Did all that by age 27. Having the kid took longest. Felt like a full-fledged, functional adult at age 37, when my father died and I realized I was an orphan. Having Pops around as the ultimate backup was a greater comfort to me than I’d realized previous to that. ---
**Author:** ![Jack\_Batty](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jack_batty/32/3201_2.png) [@Jack\_Batty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jack_Batty)\ **Post date:** [August 25, 2010, 1:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/have-you-transitioned-to-adulthood/551353/34 "2010-08-25T13:39:31Z")
I apparently have, but I played a little fast and loose with the rules. **1. Have you completed school?** Completed? Yes. I’m done with school. Achieved a degree? Not so much. **2. Have you left home?** I left my parents home. I have my own home now. Or am I required to be homeless to be a real adult? **3. Have you become financially independent?** In that I can feed myself, keep myself clothed and sheltered, and buy myself a few gew-gaws … yes. **4. Have you married?** And I’ve divorced … that’s a _goocher_, I believe. **5. Have you had a child?** Yes. And I did it before I got marred … to a totally different person who I had the kids with. So, I’m not sure if I’m an adult or not. I do have hair on my balls if that counts for anything. ---
**Author:** ![Anne\_Neville](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/b9e5f3/32.png) [@Anne\_Neville](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anne_Neville)\ **Post date:** [August 25, 2010, 1:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/have-you-transitioned-to-adulthood/551353/35 "2010-08-25T13:41:28Z")
All but having a child. I think it’s a terrible idea to encourage anyone to get married or have a child to be more adult. You should get married because you’ve found someone you want to spend the rest of your life with, not because it will make you an adult. You should have a child because you really want one, not because it will make you more grown-up. I’m fine with the other three as milestones of adulthood, but we shouldn’t be encouraging anybody to rush into marriage or parenthood. Getting married to the wrong person is a good way to be unhappy. Having a child for the wrong reason is even worse, because now there’s somebody in the situation who didn’t even choose to be and who doesn’t really have the option of leaving if he or she is miserable. ---
**Author:** ![DianaG](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/7ab992/32.png) [@DianaG](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DianaG)\ **Post date:** [August 25, 2010, 1:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/have-you-transitioned-to-adulthood/551353/36 "2010-08-25T13:53:49Z")
I think the only two you need to have done to qualify as an adult is leave home and be financially independent, and the former is negotiable, depending on the reasons for living at home. I’ll say I haven’t completed school, because I don’t have a degree, and what the hell, I may go back. I moved out and became financially independent at 15, had a kid at 19 (and became not so much financially independent for a short while), and will probably never get married. But I’m pretty sure that at 15 I was more of an adult than my 30 year old uncle whose mother still made his bed every day. ---
**Author:** ![An\_Arky](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/87869e/32.png) [@An\_Arky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/An_Arky)\ **Post date:** [August 25, 2010, 2:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/have-you-transitioned-to-adulthood/551353/37 "2010-08-25T14:17:34Z")
1. B.S. at 22 2. 18, went to college 3. 23, first job out of college 4. 32 5. 35 But I still catch myself thinking “when I grow up…” ---
**Author:** ![antonio107](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/7ea924/32.png) [@antonio107](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/antonio107)\ **Post date:** [August 25, 2010, 2:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/have-you-transitioned-to-adulthood/551353/38 "2010-08-25T14:22:40Z")
> [@Anne\_Neville](#): > > All but having a child. > > I think it’s a terrible idea to encourage anyone to get married or have a child to be more adult. You should get married because you’ve found someone you want to spend the rest of your life with, not because it will make you an adult. You should have a child because you really want one, not because it will make you more grown-up. > > I’m fine with the other three as milestones of adulthood, but we shouldn’t be encouraging anybody to rush into marriage or parenthood. Getting married to the wrong person is a good way to be unhappy. Having a child for the wrong reason is even worse, because now there’s somebody in the situation who didn’t even choose to be and who doesn’t really have the option of leaving if he or she is miserable. I don’t really see this as “encouraging” people to grow up, per se. No one is saying, “Dammit Antonio! Act your age; get out and there and start breed recklessly!” However, from a generic hetero standpoints, those tend to be five markers that separate a carefree youth from a frumpy old man who drives a mini-van and bitches about his taxes. In that sense, I can see how it marks a “transition to adulthood,” even if they aren’t the _only_ qualifiers. ---
**Author:** ![DianaG](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/7ab992/32.png) [@DianaG](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DianaG)\ **Post date:** [August 25, 2010, 2:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/have-you-transitioned-to-adulthood/551353/39 "2010-08-25T14:28:37Z")
Of course, never becoming a frumpy old man who drives a mini-van and bitches about his taxes is a perfectly valid life’s goal, in my opinion. ---
**Author:** ![silenus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/silenus/32/166_2.png) [@silenus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/silenus)\ **Post date:** [August 25, 2010, 2:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/have-you-transitioned-to-adulthood/551353/40 "2010-08-25T14:43:47Z")
The list is stupid, to say the least. By their standards, a farmer who drops out of high school to take over the family farm when his father dies, and who then goes on to live there, raise a family and crops, and be otherwise a pillar of the community hasn’t “transitioned to adulthood.” I didn’t get married until I was in my 40s, and I’ll never have kids, so I’m never an adult? Bullshit. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/have-you-transitioned-to-adulthood/551353.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/have-you-transitioned-to-adulthood/551353.md?page=3)