# Having Sex With A Child In The Room **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [September 8, 2003, 1:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/having-sex-with-a-child-in-the-room/200285 "2003-09-08T13:06:00Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 13\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![j\_kat\_251](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/71c47a/32.png) [@j\_kat\_251](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/j_kat_251)\ **Post date:** [September 9, 2003, 3:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/having-sex-with-a-child-in-the-room/200285/21 "2003-09-09T03:20:57Z")
“Well, I have sex when my child is in the room… but only if they’re asleep hurrrr hurr hurrrrrrrrr”. What the Jesus? That’s a fantastic rationale right there. ---
**Author:** ![SanguineSpider](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e9a140/32.png) [@SanguineSpider](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SanguineSpider)\ **Post date:** [September 9, 2003, 3:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/having-sex-with-a-child-in-the-room/200285/22 "2003-09-09T03:46:13Z")
Oh, Dances, that’s just NAUGHTY!! ---
**Author:** ![AngelicGemma](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/439d5e/32.png) [@AngelicGemma](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AngelicGemma)\ **Post date:** [September 9, 2003, 3:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/having-sex-with-a-child-in-the-room/200285/23 "2003-09-09T15:15:53Z")
I don’t have any children, but if I did there’s NO chance I’d have sex with one of them in the room! No matter what their age or if they’re asleep etc. It just seems…icky. ---
**Author:** ![hedra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/779978/32.png) [@hedra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/hedra)\ **Post date:** [September 9, 2003, 7:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/having-sex-with-a-child-in-the-room/200285/24 "2003-09-09T19:46:13Z")
I definitely require the child to be asleep, with an agreement that all activities cease if said child wakes. Especially if child wakes hungry - my breasts have two totally exclusive channels, and never the twain shall come anywhere near each other. But asleep child? Not a problem. I’d rather my mom was as discreet about her in-her-own-room sexual activity as I am with my in-the-same-room activity. I don’t want to hear my parents doing it down the hall, either. Actually, at least with the kid in the room, I KNOW he’s asleep and not getting grossed out. BTW, I can remember back to 6 months old, for a few things (like nursing), and back well before 2 for a lot of things (lots from 9 months on, really). It is rare to remember that early, but ya never know. It would yeech me completely to remember my parents having a hot and heavy with me watching. :shudder: Interestingly, it wouldn’t bother me as much if it was more an ‘I walked in on them’ thing - because that would be my innocent action, rather than their lack of discretion. Strange culture, but it is mine. ---
**Author:** ![AngelicGemma](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/439d5e/32.png) [@AngelicGemma](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AngelicGemma)\ **Post date:** [September 9, 2003, 10:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/having-sex-with-a-child-in-the-room/200285/25 "2003-09-09T22:03:16Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by hedra \* > \*\*it wouldn’t bother me as much if it was more an ‘I walked in on them’ thing \*\* Thanks for bringing back a disturbing memory. Now where’s my therapist? 😉 (Sadly, the only bit I’m joking about is the therapist) ---
**Author:** ![norinew](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/eb9ed0/32.png) [@norinew](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/norinew)\ **Post date:** [September 10, 2003, 1:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/having-sex-with-a-child-in-the-room/200285/26 "2003-09-10T01:45:41Z")
I have been known to get wild and funky with a sleeping baby in the room (all three of ours slept in our room til about 3 months of age), but not an awake one. And definitely not an 18-month-old. I should think it might be frightening for the child: Is daddy hurting mommy? What’s wrong? What **is** that? And while not all kids remember back that far (my entire life is a blur prior to, say, age 12), some kids remember quite well. My 12-year-old has some very clear memories from when she was younger than 2. As far as the cultures where separate bedrooms aren’t an option, I’d venture that the adults learn to be a lot more discreet. If the action described in the OP was “hot and erotic”, that doesn’t sound like “quiet, discreet and under the sheets” to me! ---
**Author:** ![MamaHen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c89c15/32.png) [@MamaHen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MamaHen)\ **Post date:** [September 10, 2003, 1:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/having-sex-with-a-child-in-the-room/200285/27 "2003-09-10T13:37:31Z")
When my children were infants, safe and sleeping in their cribs we would have sex while they were in the room. Once they got older Mommy and Daddy learned the art of making love in other rooms. My Mom watched my 2 kids when the youngest was about 2 and my husband and I were thrilled because we were actually going to get to have sex in our bed!! Of course they had their own room by then but they often would wander into our room in the middle of the night so we stayed safe and downstairs for our love. My daughter is now 4 and the other night she snuck in while we were ABOUT to make love, ruined the whole thing. Thank goodness only I was naked and I was able to cover myself before she saw anything too intimate. ---
**Author:** ![Kiki](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/dc4da7/32.png) [@Kiki](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kiki)\ **Post date:** [September 10, 2003, 6:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/having-sex-with-a-child-in-the-room/200285/28 "2003-09-10T18:42:24Z")
When my son was 6-7 months old he crawled into the room while we were having a quickie. We stopped for a minute and he saw us, grinned and giggled, and crawled back out into the hallway and played with some toys on the floor. I don’t think it traumatized him and I’m pretty sure he won’t remember it. That was more of an accident though. We’ve never had sex _knowing_ that one of the kids was in the room watching us!! I do think 18 months old is a little too old to be in the room while mom and dad are having sex. We make sure the kids are asleep and we have our bedroom doors shut too. Our kids are 6 and 4 now and we have a rule that they don’t come in our bedroom without knocking first and us giving them the “ok” to come in. ---
**Author:** ![Troy\_McClure\_SF](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/troy_mcclure_sf/32/4150_2.png) [@Troy\_McClure\_SF](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Troy_McClure_SF)\ **Post date:** [September 11, 2003, 1:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/having-sex-with-a-child-in-the-room/200285/29 "2003-09-11T01:24:32Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Cartooniverse \* > **My son was 6 months old when he came** \*blink blink blink\* Did you forget the word “home” on the end there or somethin’? ---
**Author:** ![BoringDad](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ad7895/32.png) [@BoringDad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BoringDad)\ **Post date:** [September 11, 2003, 3:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/having-sex-with-a-child-in-the-room/200285/30 "2003-09-11T03:33:01Z")
I am also astounded at an 18 month old who would play quietly in a crib in the same room long enough for Mom and Dad to get hot and heavy. And astounded at a Mom who would be willing to get hot and heavy with an awake kid in the room. However… in our house it is due to BoringMom’s modesty, not any fear of “harming” the child. I am quite curious as to what, exactly bad effects people think that this exposure will have on the child? At 18 months, only a percentage of children can talk. Our oldest wasn’t using sentences until around 26 months. So the whole “Daddy, what are you doing with Mommy?” thing is likely not a factor in this case. If a pre-verbal 18 month old does not like something, by golly they let you know in a hurry, and you are NOT going to be continuing sex through that noise. So if the child is comfortable playing while Mom and Dad work on giving her a younger sibling, where is the harm? ---
**Author:** ![AngelicGemma](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/439d5e/32.png) [@AngelicGemma](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AngelicGemma)\ **Post date:** [September 11, 2003, 8:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/having-sex-with-a-child-in-the-room/200285/31 "2003-09-11T08:21:37Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Troy McClure SF \* > \*\*\*blink > > blink > > blink\* > > Did you forget the word “home” on the end there or somethin’? \*\* Ah! NOW it makes sense to me. ---
**Author:** ![norinew](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/eb9ed0/32.png) [@norinew](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/norinew)\ **Post date:** [September 11, 2003, 11:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/having-sex-with-a-child-in-the-room/200285/32 "2003-09-11T11:34:35Z")
> [@](#): > > _Originally posted by BoringDad_ > If a pre-verbal 18 month old does not like something, by golly they let you know in a hurry, and you are NOT going to be continuing sex through that noise. > > So if the child is comfortable playing while Mom and Dad work on giving her a younger sibling, where is the harm? A valid point. Especially about the kid letting you know (loudly) if they don’t like what’s going on. I guess my problems are, 1) I don’t **know** that it’s not traumatic to the kid; and 2) it would just **feel** wrong to me. I guess, when all is said and done, that’s the most important reason. I couldn’t get into doin’ the Mattress Mambo if I was worried about the kid the whole time. BTW, I like your screen name, but just wait til you have teenagers and have to change it to **IncrediblyUnreasonableForNoDamnReasonDad**!😃 ---
**Author:** ![Cartooniverse](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cartooniverse/32/3084_2.png) [@Cartooniverse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cartooniverse)\ **Post date:** [October 8, 2003, 1:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/having-sex-with-a-child-in-the-room/200285/33 "2003-10-08T01:53:43Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Troy McClure SF \* > \*\*\*blink > > blink > > blink\* > > Did you forget the word “home” on the end there or somethin’? \*\* No. Both of my kids are adopted. He came. He came on a plane. He came into my life. I should have said, He arrived. I didn’t mean to mislead or misspeak, my apologies. **AngelicGemma** , now WHAT makes sense to you?? [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/having-sex-with-a-child-in-the-room/200285.md?page=1)