# Having Your Eyes Wide Open When You Kiss. **URL:** \ **Category:** Factual Questions\ **Created:** [April 10, 2019, 9:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/having-your-eyes-wide-open-when-you-kiss/832320 "2019-04-10T09:15:40Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 8\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Jim\_B](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jim_b/32/4338_2.png) [@Jim\_B](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jim_B)\ **Post date:** [April 10, 2019, 9:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/having-your-eyes-wide-open-when-you-kiss/832320/1 "2019-04-10T09:15:40Z")
> [@](#): > > Should’ve known you was trouble > From the first kiss > Had your eyes wide open > Why were they open? [Bruno Mars’ _Grenade_](https://www.azlyrics.com/lyrics/brunomars/grenade.html) As the above lyrics clearly indicate, it signifies something when you have your eyes wide open as you kiss somebody. But what? I’ve heard the reference before. But never understood it then either. Don’t laugh. I must not be the only person on these boards who wondered this. Thank you in advance for your kindly and civil replies:). :):):)🙂 ---
**Author:** ![bob\_2](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bob_2/32/3341_2.png) [@bob\_2](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bob_2)\ **Post date:** [April 10, 2019, 9:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/having-your-eyes-wide-open-when-you-kiss/832320/2 "2019-04-10T09:21:20Z")
I had a look round the web and found this great answer on Quora: > [@](#): > > Jessica Mack, Mental health counselor; advocate, career pivoter > Answered Apr 10, 2018 > > It means their eyes were open. > > I bet their right calf doesn’t always pop up either, and I bet they don’t burst into song after every kiss. Real life isn’t like romantic comedies; sometimes a cigar is just a cigar. I love my husband and I am very happily married, but we don’t passionately close eyes and suck face every time we kiss (though sometimes we do). Sometimes I leave my eyes open because I like to see his face. Sometimes I close my eyes to get absorbed in the kiss. I don’t often kiss him thinking about whether I look romantic or if my eyes are open or not - much of my kissing doesn’t involve thinking at all. > > If it really bothers you, be honest about your actual concern (not enough romance, trust, anxiety, not being “into” it). If they really have their eyes open every time, it’s okay to voice your concern to your partner and ask for reassurance (they may not even consciously know they’re doing it). If you’re not bothered, then I agree with other answers - kiss whatever way makes you (and the other person) happy! ---
**Author:** ![Nava](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/da6949/32.png) [@Nava](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nava)\ **Post date:** [April 10, 2019, 9:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/having-your-eyes-wide-open-when-you-kiss/832320/3 "2019-04-10T09:46:37Z")
And note that if he noticed her eyes were open… so were his. So, she wasn’t totally absorbed by the kiss but neither was he. ---
**Author:** ![robardin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/43a26b/32.png) [@robardin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/robardin)\ **Post date:** [April 10, 2019, 11:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/having-your-eyes-wide-open-when-you-kiss/832320/4 "2019-04-10T11:44:08Z")
Well, there’s “open” as in “not completely shut”, and “_wide_ open” as in “possibly looking at someone or something else more interesting”… ---
**Author:** ![panache45](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/panache45/32/64_2.png) [@panache45](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panache45)\ **Post date:** [April 10, 2019, 5:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/having-your-eyes-wide-open-when-you-kiss/832320/5 "2019-04-10T17:53:08Z")
It means they may be extremely myopic. ---
**Author:** ![brossa](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/brossa/32/3040_2.png) [@brossa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/brossa)\ **Post date:** [April 10, 2019, 7:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/having-your-eyes-wide-open-when-you-kiss/832320/6 "2019-04-10T19:19:13Z")
It’s because the romantic ideal/fiction is that lovers will both close their eyes while they kiss, as a result of (and signalling!) an intense focus on the tactile act of kissing, perhaps demonstrating trust and vulnerability at the same time. To kiss with eyes open implies detachment or insincerity on the part of the kisser; you’re going through the motions, but you’ve got your mind on something else and aren’t fully engaged. If your eyes are open, you might as well be checking your phone for messages while you’re kissing. It’s dismissive. That’s the common view, anyway. As another singer, Pat McCurdy, put it: “Why don’t you kiss me with an open mouth? Why do you do it with a pursed one?” If you absolutely must keep an eye on the treeline where the zombies might come through, at least have the decency to close the inside eye that your partner might see if they peek. ---
**Author:** ![F.U.Shakespeare](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/aca169/32.png) [@F.U.Shakespeare](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/F.U.Shakespeare)\ **Post date:** [April 10, 2019, 8:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/having-your-eyes-wide-open-when-you-kiss/832320/7 "2019-04-10T20:45:50Z")
[It means you’re a secret agent.](https://youtu.be/zy1FiOk5FPY?t=32) ---
**Author:** ![aruvqan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aruvqan/32/2891_2.png) [@aruvqan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/aruvqan)\ **Post date:** [April 10, 2019, 10:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/having-your-eyes-wide-open-when-you-kiss/832320/8 "2019-04-10T22:29:56Z")
hm, mrAru and I kiss eyes open, and we screw with eyes open, we like seeing each others faces and expressions. No idea if that is good or bad but we have been together for about 30 years …