# Hawaiian Tips Needed: Mr & Mr DMark Celebrate 25 Years **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [January 26, 2006, 10:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hawaiian-tips-needed-mr-mr-dmark-celebrate-25-years/341773 "2006-01-26T22:32:16Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![EvilGhandi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/f17d59/32.png) [@EvilGhandi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/EvilGhandi)\ **Post date:** [January 29, 2006, 11:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hawaiian-tips-needed-mr-mr-dmark-celebrate-25-years/341773/41 "2006-01-29T11:46:37Z")
I tried to shoot you an E-mail but it seems you are just as cautious as me. If you set a hotmail account or something in the next couple of hours I will respond. You can’t stay at my place (you’d be suprised how many people ask) but me and the o’l lady will meet you at your hotel. I’m always willing to give fellow dopers a tour. ---
**Author:** ![Digital\_Stimulus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/aeb1de/32.png) [@Digital\_Stimulus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Digital_Stimulus)\ **Post date:** [January 29, 2006, 2:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hawaiian-tips-needed-mr-mr-dmark-celebrate-25-years/341773/42 "2006-01-29T14:44:14Z")
> [@EvilGhandi](#): > > My wife insists that hamburger mary’s is still open, me, I don’t know. Unless they’ve reopened it in the last few years, I can say definitively that the one on Kuhio is closed (I had no idea until reading this thread that there was another one on Maui). I lived a few doors away from it, and it closed down not long before I moved back to the mainland. Damn shame…IIRC, they took that huge banyan tree down too (I think it was splitting, so it was a safety issue)…and let’s be clear; although it was known as a “gay bar”, it was better known as a lively place to party. Different sensibilities in Hawaii…it’s just not that big of a deal to be gay there. I just told my wife the mahu knock-knock joke (she grew up in Honolulu); we both got a kick out of it (retarded laughter ensued). 🙂 Speaking of banyan trees and focussing more on Maui, I’m sure you’ll go to see the largest tree in the world in Lahaina, a banyan. (There’s some qualification necessary as to what “largest” means here. It’s not like the Aspens in Colorado; I’m not sure what the difference is.) It’s the centerpiece of one of the parks, if something that big can be said to have a center. (When you go, you’ll see what I mean.) Also, if you want to see some scenery, visit Iao Valley State Park to see the Iao Needle (natural rock formation; I see it every once in the background on TV shows). Not really strenuous enough to qualify as a hike, but there’s some walking involved. I had to check the spelling of “Iao” (I could’ve sworn it was “I’o”) and came across this [Maui attractions](http://www.dougandmorri.com/apr262003.htm) page. The only reason I post it is because it mentions a restaurant called “Humuhumunukunukuapua’a” at the Grand Wailea Resort. I’ve never been there, so I can’t vouch for it, but the description makes it sound like a good place for a nice dinner out – I’d go, if I were on Maui. Couple more notes for someone who’s never been to Hawaii: [ul] [li]The [humuhumunukunukuapua’a](http://www.answers.com/topic/humuhumunukunukuapuaa) is the state fish; as with many Hawaiian words, I used to use people’s pronunciation as a gauge of how familiar they are with the islands (try saying “Kalanianiole” five times fast). If you go to Hanauma Bay (on Oahu), you’ll get to see (pet?) some up close.[/li][li]Also, be prepared for bugs. Remember, it’s tropical – you most likely won’t get away without seeing any B-52 cockroaches (especially if you check out a banyan tree up close). A friend I went to Maui with was freaked out when she found a cane spider in the sink; all I could say was, “It happens”.[/li][li]Last thing – you don’t really use compass directions in Hawaii, you use the terms “mauka” and “makai” which, loosely translated, mean “toward the mountains” and “toward the sea”. It’s a much more useful convention for giving directions when on an island, although it took me some getting used to.[/li][/ul] Again, enjoy your stay – it’s a wonderful place to be. ---
**Author:** ![Rick](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/9f8e36/32.png) [@Rick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rick)\ **Post date:** [January 29, 2006, 4:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hawaiian-tips-needed-mr-mr-dmark-celebrate-25-years/341773/43 "2006-01-29T16:44:29Z")
> [@DMark](#): > > Renting bikes sounds like a great idea! I spoke with a Honolulu bicycle cop on one of my visits. He mentioned that riding a bike on the sidewalk is illegal, and he often writes cites for it. So if you ride, stay on the road. In town a lot of people rent mopeds. > [@](#): > > Swap meet sounds cool, but we are only in Honolulu for Fri/Sat/Sun so will have to see when it is open and how to get there…I can see I might have to look into renting a cargo hold on a ship to get the trinkets back home. The Aloha bowl / swap meet is just a couple of blocks from the entrance to the Arizona Memorial. I had to buy 2 extra suitcases at the swap meet on our last trip to haul all the shit my wife bought back. I tell people she got a thank you letter from the Governor thanking her for keeping the state’s economy in the back. 😃 A new suitcase at the swap meet is about $23 dollars. In town that same suitcase is $50 > [@](#): > > How late are bars and restaurants open? We are used to 24 hour Las Vegas…my guess is Hawaii might have closing hours like most large cities? Not 24 hours, but we ate past 10 several nights and they weren’t closing the place on us. > [@](#): > > Oh, and a few really stupid questions…cell phones, good connections? Roaming fees? (I have T-Mobile, I guess I should call and ask them.) Internet cafes? And considering I am still in the states, but just wondering, price of postage to mainland and to Europe (have to write lots of postcards) the same as on the mainland? I assume the answer is yes, but just asking as we thought we would buy stamps here instead of spending time looking for a post office there. My T-Mobile service was great. No clue about roaming, since mine is a company phone, and I don’t see the bill. Postage is same as anywhere else. ---
**Author:** ![DMark](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e68b1a/32.png) [@DMark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DMark)\ **Post date:** [January 29, 2006, 8:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hawaiian-tips-needed-mr-mr-dmark-celebrate-25-years/341773/44 "2006-01-29T20:26:30Z")
> [@EvilGhandi](#): > > I tried to shoot you an E-mail but it seems you are just as cautious as me. If you set a hotmail account or something in the next couple of hours I will respond. You can’t stay at my place (you’d be suprised how many people ask) but me and the o’l lady will meet you at your hotel. I’m always willing to give fellow dopers a tour. Actually, my email address is listed in my profile under “interests”. And zap me an email…will at least try to give you a call to say howdy…er, Aloha…while I am there! ---
**Author:** ![DMark](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e68b1a/32.png) [@DMark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DMark)\ **Post date:** [January 29, 2006, 8:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hawaiian-tips-needed-mr-mr-dmark-celebrate-25-years/341773/45 "2006-01-29T20:29:22Z")
> [@Rick](#): > > The Aloha bowl / swap meet is just a couple of blocks from the entrance to the Arizona Memorial. I had to buy 2 extra suitcases at the swap meet on our last trip to haul all the shit my wife bought back. I tell people she got a thank you letter from the Governor thanking her for keeping the state’s economy in the back. 😃 A new suitcase at the swap meet is about $23 dollars. In town that same suitcase is $50 Sounds like it could be fun and financially dangerous at the same time…will put this on the list of must-dos. ---
**Author:** ![Rick](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/9f8e36/32.png) [@Rick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rick)\ **Post date:** [January 29, 2006, 8:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hawaiian-tips-needed-mr-mr-dmark-celebrate-25-years/341773/46 "2006-01-29T20:49:02Z")
> [@DMark](#): > > Sounds like it could be fun and financially dangerous at the same time…will put this on the list of must-dos. Don’t say you wern’t warned. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![ouryL](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ouryl/32/6067_2.png) [@ouryL](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ouryL)\ **Post date:** [January 29, 2006, 9:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hawaiian-tips-needed-mr-mr-dmark-celebrate-25-years/341773/47 "2006-01-29T21:04:55Z")
> [@Rick](#): > > I spoke with a Honolulu bicycle cop on one of my visits. He mentioned that riding a bike on the sidewalk is illegal, and he often writes cites for it. So if you ride, stay on the road. > In town a lot of people rent mopeds. > The Aloha bowl / swap meet is just a couple of blocks from the entrance to the Arizona Memorial. I had to buy 2 extra suitcases at the swap meet on our last trip to haul all the shit my wife bought back. I tell people she got a thank you letter from the Governor thanking her for keeping the state’s economy in the back. 😃 A new suitcase at the swap meet is about $23 dollars. In town that same suitcase is $50 > > Not 24 hours, but we ate past 10 several nights and they weren’t closing the place on us. > > My T-Mobile service was great. No clue about roaming, since mine is a company phone, and I don’t see the bill. Postage is same as anywhere else. - …riding a bike on the sidewalk in waikiki is illegal… ---
**Author:** ![Large\_Marge](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/50afbb/32.png) [@Large\_Marge](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Large_Marge)\ **Post date:** [January 30, 2006, 3:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hawaiian-tips-needed-mr-mr-dmark-celebrate-25-years/341773/48 "2006-01-30T03:31:03Z")
> [@EvilGhandi](#): > > Large marge, bullshit!!! fucking bullshit on you. > > Makaha is some of the most beutiful coastline we have in the islands. Granted they tend to be a little anti-tourist out there but I can say just being white won’t get you beat up. > > Acting like an arrogant ass who thinks he owns the place will. I was born there, **EvilGhandi**. I am not the only person of the opinion that Makaha is not the safest place on Oahu. ---
**Author:** ![Large\_Marge](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/50afbb/32.png) [@Large\_Marge](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Large_Marge)\ **Post date:** [January 30, 2006, 3:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hawaiian-tips-needed-mr-mr-dmark-celebrate-25-years/341773/49 "2006-01-30T03:38:17Z")
> [@EvilGhandi](#): > > **DMark** > > You say, > “I have never been anywhere like this before. Big city boy.” > > But you don’t even know that Honolulu is the eleventh largest city in the United States, far beyond Vegas According to [this site](http://www.citymayors.com/gratis/uscities_100.html), Honolulu is No. 45 and Las Vegas is No. 30. [This site](http://www.infoplease.com/ipa/A0763098.html) lists Honolulu as No. 47. ---
**Author:** ![Large\_Marge](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/50afbb/32.png) [@Large\_Marge](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Large_Marge)\ **Post date:** [January 30, 2006, 3:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hawaiian-tips-needed-mr-mr-dmark-celebrate-25-years/341773/50 "2006-01-30T03:48:23Z")
> [@EvilGhandi](#): > > Hawaiian citizenship test > > Knock knock, > > Who’s there? > > It’s me ma > > Me mahu? > > Retarded laughter cause someone fell for it, butt I wouldn’t cal it a slur. I’m sorry, but what does this mean? ---
**Author:** ![Large\_Marge](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/50afbb/32.png) [@Large\_Marge](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Large_Marge)\ **Post date:** [January 30, 2006, 3:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hawaiian-tips-needed-mr-mr-dmark-celebrate-25-years/341773/51 "2006-01-30T03:54:56Z")
> [@Rick](#): > > I spoke with a Honolulu bicycle cop on one of my visits. He mentioned that riding a bike on the sidewalk is illegal, and he often writes cites for it. So if you ride, stay on the road. I would strongly recommend that you don’t ride bikes on the streets of Waikiki. There is a very good chance you will be injured or killed. There are few (if any) bike lanes, and they aren’t respected like they are in bike-friendly places on the Mainland. You are better off with a moped; you don’t need a motorcycle license to ride them there, and you can park them in a bike racks, which is very convenient because parking in Hononlulu is a bitch. They’re also cheap on gas, which runs about $2.85 a gallon there. ---
**Author:** ![Zsofia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/7bcc69/32.png) [@Zsofia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zsofia)\ **Post date:** [January 30, 2006, 8:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hawaiian-tips-needed-mr-mr-dmark-celebrate-25-years/341773/52 "2006-01-30T20:15:38Z")
Oh, the water - it’s cold. It’s _damned_ cold. You cannot imagine my shock. It looks just like a postcard - blue and purple and such. We were there in July and I only got in it once, though. Recall, however, that I’m accustomed to Southern beaches and vacationed on the Gulf coast as a child. I don’t get in it unless it’s at least 86. Also, it’s super salty. ---
**Author:** ![Lok](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e8c25b/32.png) [@Lok](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lok)\ **Post date:** [January 31, 2006, 6:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hawaiian-tips-needed-mr-mr-dmark-celebrate-25-years/341773/53 "2006-01-31T06:01:27Z")
I was there in January of 2004 and the water was great. But I was coming from Ohio where the temperatures were about 20 at the time. Lok ---
**Author:** ![Fern\_Forest](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/71c47a/32.png) [@Fern\_Forest](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fern_Forest)\ **Post date:** [January 31, 2006, 6:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hawaiian-tips-needed-mr-mr-dmark-celebrate-25-years/341773/54 "2006-01-31T06:44:02Z")
> [@EvilGhandi](#): > > **DMark** > > You say, > “I have never been anywhere like this before. Big city boy.” > > But you don’t even know that Honolulu is the eleventh largest city in the United States, far beyond Vegas The confusion comes about because Honolulu is both the city and the county at the same time. They are a single entity. But for census purposes the C&C was divided into census designated places or CDPs. [Honolulu CDP](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Honolulu) includes just the areas covered in red and includes only about 377,000 people. Since the whole island is part of the City & County of Honolulu you could say that the population is about 876,000 in 2000 putting us just behind Detroit. But we don’t because the Census Bureau divis things up by where the cities borders would be were they set up like they are in most places on the mainland. ---
**Author:** ![Fern\_Forest](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/71c47a/32.png) [@Fern\_Forest](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fern_Forest)\ **Post date:** [January 31, 2006, 7:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hawaiian-tips-needed-mr-mr-dmark-celebrate-25-years/341773/55 "2006-01-31T07:29:56Z")
> [@Large Marge](#): > > I don’t know about shuttle buses, but Hawaii does have good public transportation. You can take the 57 (I think) to Hanauma Bay from your hotel, and to many other locales without using a rental car. The 57 goes by, the 22 goes in. If that’s what you’re going to do take the 2, 13 or B bus west (away from the bay) till you get to the Statue of Kalakaua and catch the 22 bus there. It’s the first stop and you’ll get to sit. By the time the 22 and 57 get down to the zoo end it’s often so full they wont stop to pick any one up. Which sucked for me since they were my school buses. Man that was annoying. The 57 doesn’t stop by the statue but is does at the next stop down by Launiu St. > [@Large Marge](#): > > Diamond Head is pretty much straight up, but you can take your time and it’s not a very long hike. Make sure you bring LOTS of water, though. It is very hot. And a flashlight. What kills people is the 99 steps in a row. 99 narrow steep little steps. I was wearing a heart monitor when I did that 7 years ago. I hit 199 beats per minute. > [@Large Marge](#): > > It depends on where you eat. L&L is along the lines of fast food in most of America; upscale is upscale ($30-$50 for fine dining); and groceries will kick your ass. Get ready to pay $6 for a gallon of milk. No, I’m not kidding. And more in Waikiki. > [@EvilGhandi](#): > > I didn’t know. My wife insists that hamburger mary’s is still open, me, I don’t know. I wish I knew gay bars well enough to help you out but I dont go there. Sorry. They knocked down the whole block (easier done after that massive banyan fell over in high wind) and built some upscale shops. Although where HM was (at the end of Launiu is you want to check things out with Google Earth) is still an empty lot. I think the rainbow flag that used to hang there was moved down the street to a bar on the corner of Kuhio and Seaside. There’s another one right across from the zoo. I always thought of Mahu as insulting. But then I only ever heard it thrown as such in high school. I have never heard a local gay call himself one yet I’ve never really known any gays. I’m a real lover see. > [@Digital Stimulus](#): > > [humuhumunukunukuapua’a](http://www.answers.com/topic/humuhumunukunukuapuaa) is the state fish; as with many Hawaiian words, I used to use people’s pronunciation as a gauge of how familiar they are with the islands (try saying “Kalanianiole” five times fast). If you go to Hanauma Bay (on Oahu), you’ll get to see (pet?) some up close. This actually made Fark recently, although I’ve been aware of it for about 10 years. I may have posted it here but I never was able to find the law. The humuhumunukunukuapua’a was only made the state fish for a 5 year trial period after which is was not renewed and since then Hawaii had no state fish. > [@Rick](#): > > I spoke with a Honolulu bicycle cop on one of my visits. He mentioned that riding a bike on the sidewalk is illegal, and he often writes cites for it. Was he riding on the sidewalk in Waikiki when you stopped him to ask? They do that all the time. Perhaps not wanting to get run over themselves. Waikiki has 1 bike lane now that goes down the Ala Wai Blvd. I guess you could say there’s one in front of the zoo too. I wouldn’t bike to get around though, depending on how long I was going to stay I’d get a bus pass. $10 for 4 consecutive days for 1 person at any ABC store. By the way, here’s a fun game. Try and take a photo with as many ABC stores in the shot as possible. Three is easy, 4 is challenging, 5 is difficult. No cheating by taking it from out on a boat. Let’s say they can be no further then 5 blocks from you. ---
**Author:** ![Fern\_Forest](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/71c47a/32.png) [@Fern\_Forest](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fern_Forest)\ **Post date:** [January 31, 2006, 7:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hawaiian-tips-needed-mr-mr-dmark-celebrate-25-years/341773/56 "2006-01-31T07:41:11Z")
One more thing. “Top of Waikiki” was the world’s first rotating restaurant. They built it as a test case before they built the one in the Seattle Space Needle. Great view, good food. Plus it’s a world first. BTW, for some reason the people that work there aren’t aware that it was the world’s first. I searched it and I like how everyone touts it as the only one. Our other one, at Ala Moana has been broken for years. ---
**Author:** ![DMark](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e68b1a/32.png) [@DMark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DMark)\ **Post date:** [January 31, 2006, 7:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hawaiian-tips-needed-mr-mr-dmark-celebrate-25-years/341773/57 "2006-01-31T07:43:13Z")
> [@Zsofia](#): > > Oh, the water - it’s cold. It’s _damned_ cold. You cannot imagine my shock. It looks just like a postcard - blue and purple and such. We were there in July and I only got in it once, though. Recall, however, that I’m accustomed to Southern beaches and vacationed on the Gulf coast as a child. I don’t get in it unless it’s at least 86. > > Also, it’s super salty. We have a pool in Las Vegas and normally, I won’t get in unless the water is at least 85…but I see the water temp in Feb is supposed to be 80, so maybe if I make a mad dash and get wet I can make it…however, to any Islanders who hear a blood curdling scream, that will be me if it is colder than 80. ---
**Author:** ![DMark](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e68b1a/32.png) [@DMark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DMark)\ **Post date:** [January 31, 2006, 7:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hawaiian-tips-needed-mr-mr-dmark-celebrate-25-years/341773/58 "2006-01-31T07:44:30Z")
> [@Lok](#): > > I was there in January of 2004 and the water was great. But I was coming from Ohio where the temperatures were about 20 at the time. > > Lok See above…and we get lots of German visitors who will jump in our pool no matter what the temperature is…I guess it depends on what you are used to, and trust me, I ain’t used to that cold anymore! ---
**Author:** ![DMark](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e68b1a/32.png) [@DMark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DMark)\ **Post date:** [January 31, 2006, 7:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hawaiian-tips-needed-mr-mr-dmark-celebrate-25-years/341773/59 "2006-01-31T07:47:09Z")
> [@Fern Forest](#): > > One more thing. “Top of Waikiki” was the world’s first rotating restaurant. They built it as a test case before they built the one in the Seattle Space Needle. Great view, good food. Plus it’s a world first. BTW, for some reason the people that work there aren’t aware that it was the world’s first. > > I searched it and I like how everyone touts it as the only one. Our other one, at Ala Moana has been broken for years. Thanks for all of your tips as well…and now I will not be able to see an ABC store without thinking of **Fern Forest**! Sounds like Starbucks in NYC…about every 100 feet from each other. ---
**Author:** ![scotandrsn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a4c791/32.png) [@scotandrsn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/scotandrsn)\ **Post date:** [January 31, 2006, 7:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hawaiian-tips-needed-mr-mr-dmark-celebrate-25-years/341773/60 "2006-01-31T07:59:41Z")
I second the pineapple plantation tour (you’re very close to it in Kaanapali), and raise you the sugar factory tour as well. Visit Haleakala. Take the Hana road, and if it interests you, push past Hana to the small seaside church where Lindbergh is buried.If not pushing past Hana, see the black sand beach, and if you dare, sneak down past the old Japanese graveyard to the secret red sand beach. Nothing like it. We did a fun dinner cruise in Honolulu, and just had a good timne driving around. The Polynesian cultural center is good for a laugh.Visit snorkel Bob’s and go to Hanauma. But really, the main thing to do in Hawaii is relax and enjoy the hell out of the fact that you’re there. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hawaiian-tips-needed-mr-mr-dmark-celebrate-25-years/341773.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hawaiian-tips-needed-mr-mr-dmark-celebrate-25-years/341773.md?page=4)