# Hawiian shirt at funeral - make me feel better about this **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [June 22, 2003, 9:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hawiian-shirt-at-funeral-make-me-feel-better-about-this/183627 "2003-06-22T21:26:57Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 16\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Bill\_H](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/a5b964/32.png) [@Bill\_H](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bill_H)\ **Post date:** [June 23, 2003, 8:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hawiian-shirt-at-funeral-make-me-feel-better-about-this/183627/21 "2003-06-23T08:13:38Z")
I seem to be filled with less than relevant posts tonight… My grandfather passed on a couple years ago. He was in the navy at Pearl Harbor when it was bombed. They had an honor guard there of Pearl Harbor survivors, and their uniform included a hawaiian shirt. Which was kinda cool in several ways. But back to the matter at hand: definitely wear it, and if you have a chance to say a few words to everyone about your friend and the shirt, you can bet it’ll be the one thing everyone remembers about the funeral in ten years. And in a very positive way. And very sorry about your loss. ---
**Author:** ![Optihut](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/edb3f5/32.png) [@Optihut](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Optihut)\ **Post date:** [June 23, 2003, 8:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hawiian-shirt-at-funeral-make-me-feel-better-about-this/183627/22 "2003-06-23T08:28:45Z")
I’d call the family in advance first, unless you want to come across as rude, that is. ---
**Author:** ![Scarlett67](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/scarlett67/32/7387_2.png) [@Scarlett67](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scarlett67)\ **Post date:** [June 23, 2003, 1:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hawiian-shirt-at-funeral-make-me-feel-better-about-this/183627/23 "2003-06-23T13:58:55Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Tripler \* > **It’s already in my will: Thout _shalt_ have a party celebrating my life and what I accomplished; thou _shalt_ have a good time seeing friends and family at my final shin-dig; and thou _will_ enjoy the sounds of a “big band” and make requests at my final ‘going away’ party’.** I hope it’s somewhere else too, or someone else knows what you want. Wills are usually not even looked at until the body’s already in the ground. ---
**Author:** ![Balle\_M](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/13edae/32.png) [@Balle\_M](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Balle_M)\ **Post date:** [June 23, 2003, 2:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hawiian-shirt-at-funeral-make-me-feel-better-about-this/183627/24 "2003-06-23T14:14:45Z")
I plan to be buried in one. Wear it. ---
**Author:** ![photopat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/e95f7d/32.png) [@photopat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/photopat)\ **Post date:** [June 23, 2003, 5:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hawiian-shirt-at-funeral-make-me-feel-better-about-this/183627/25 "2003-06-23T17:49:24Z")
Wear it. I would hope that at _my_ funeral (secular) people would respect my wishes and memorialize me as I was not as they thought it was _proper_. ---
**Author:** ![Zebra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/c0e974/32.png) [@Zebra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zebra)\ **Post date:** [June 23, 2003, 6:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hawiian-shirt-at-funeral-make-me-feel-better-about-this/183627/26 "2003-06-23T18:16:54Z")
I think I just decided that I want to be buried wearing a Hawiian shirt. I told one fried of mine that if he views my coffin and I’m wearing a tie he is to cut it off. Wear the shirt. ---
**Author:** ![AskNott](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/asknott/32/5790_2.png) [@AskNott](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AskNott)\ **Post date:** [June 23, 2003, 7:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hawiian-shirt-at-funeral-make-me-feel-better-about-this/183627/27 "2003-06-23T19:45:25Z")
When my grandma died, Mom said her mother didn’t believe in a lot of somber moping by the mourners. She wore a bright, flowered dress for the service. Wear the shirt. ---
**Author:** ![Homebrew](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/c89c15/32.png) [@Homebrew](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Homebrew)\ **Post date:** [June 23, 2003, 9:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hawiian-shirt-at-funeral-make-me-feel-better-about-this/183627/28 "2003-06-23T21:01:15Z")
I’ve got strict orders to my friends to not have a funeral but to cremate men then have a beach party. They damn sure better wear Aloha shirts, shorts and bare feet. Or nothing at all. ---
**Author:** ![Fredge](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/258eb7/32.png) [@Fredge](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fredge)\ **Post date:** [June 23, 2003, 10:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hawiian-shirt-at-funeral-make-me-feel-better-about-this/183627/29 "2003-06-23T22:09:10Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Homebrew \* > I’ve got strict orders to my friends to not have a funeral but to **cremate men** then have a beach party. Make sure to get the men’s permission BEFORE cremating them! Oh, and wear the Hawaiian shirt. I might consider going to funerals if they weren’t so darn depressing. ---
**Author:** ![Danalan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/76d3ee/32.png) [@Danalan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Danalan)\ **Post date:** [June 23, 2003, 11:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hawiian-shirt-at-funeral-make-me-feel-better-about-this/183627/30 "2003-06-23T23:46:59Z")
IIRC, there is a ‘formal’ version of the Hawaiian shirt – it’s the same fabric, but the shirts is sewn with the inside out. It’s like wearing the shirt inside out, but it’s sewn that way, so the buttons, collar, seams, etc. are all correct. It’s not reversible, and the colors are muted, but visible. I went to a formal business dinner in Hawaii, and all the locals were wearing these shirts instead ties and sportcoats. I felt very overdressed, but they assured me that their attire was the Hawaiian equivalent of wearing a coat and tie. ---
**Author:** ![Zenster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/cdc98d/32.png) [@Zenster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zenster)\ **Post date:** [June 24, 2003, 12:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hawiian-shirt-at-funeral-make-me-feel-better-about-this/183627/31 "2003-06-24T00:57:51Z")
I want one of those shirts, **Danalan**. They sound incredibly cool. ---
**Author:** ![raisinbread](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/8491ac/32.png) [@raisinbread](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/raisinbread)\ **Post date:** [June 24, 2003, 1:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hawiian-shirt-at-funeral-make-me-feel-better-about-this/183627/32 "2003-06-24T01:47:51Z")
Oh good heavens, just wear the shirt. If his family doesn’t understand his sense of humor then they really didn’t know him. Also I’d suggest putting a mug of beer on his chest, fanning a deck of cards in his hand and asking to have your picture taken with him for “old time’s sake”. Please remember it’s in bad taste to make other mourners laugh by whispering, “Look, Bob’s got a boner” ---
**Author:** ![Spoons](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spoons/32/3141_2.png) [@Spoons](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spoons)\ **Post date:** [June 24, 2003, 2:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hawiian-shirt-at-funeral-make-me-feel-better-about-this/183627/33 "2003-06-24T02:56:34Z")
As Robert W. Service wrote, “A promise made is a debt unpaid.” You owe it to your buddy. Explain it to the family if necessary, but wear the shirt. Sorry to hear about your loss. But make good on your promise, and make your friend, wherever he is now, smile. ---
**Author:** ![CrankyAsAnOldMan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/crankyasanoldman/32/11670_2.png) [@CrankyAsAnOldMan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CrankyAsAnOldMan)\ **Post date:** [June 24, 2003, 4:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hawiian-shirt-at-funeral-make-me-feel-better-about-this/183627/34 "2003-06-24T04:49:04Z")
I like the idea, and I hope you will tell his family because I would bet they’ll be touched. My mom wore a bright pink dress to her mom’s funeral. My Grandma always said that she thought people should celebrate that she was in heaven. I didn’t know this – I packed nothing but black for the service–but my mom, in her honor, bought the brightest dress she could find in winter. ---
**Author:** ![Lok](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e8c25b/32.png) [@Lok](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lok)\ **Post date:** [June 24, 2003, 8:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hawiian-shirt-at-funeral-make-me-feel-better-about-this/183627/35 "2003-06-24T08:07:59Z")
At the funeral of one of my best friends last year, he was buried in a suit with his favorite tie. A black background and hundreds of hot peppers. So the night before, we decided the pallbearers all had to wear them too. We had to hit every Walmart and Target in 3 towns, but we finally found enough. And one of our friends who was speaking but not carrying the casket got one too. But I think he would have like it better if we had all wore Hawaiian shirts instead. ---
**Author:** ![zoogirl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/b9bd4f/32.png) [@zoogirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/zoogirl)\ **Post date:** [June 24, 2003, 8:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hawiian-shirt-at-funeral-make-me-feel-better-about-this/183627/36 "2003-06-24T08:25:13Z")
Wear It! When I go, all my friends, including the church one’s, know they have to play “Spirit In The Sky” FULL BLAST, or I’ll haunt 'em! I’ve also cracked up two funerals by getting up to speak and getting off a good one about the departed. They’d have laughed and everyone else sure did. Everyone know’s I’d love it if someone did the same for me. Sorry for your loss, but glad you’re getting a chance to say goodbye. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hawiian-shirt-at-funeral-make-me-feel-better-about-this/183627.md?page=1)