# Hawkeye Pierce or Sam Malone? **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Tags:** tv-shows-scripted\ **Created:** [April 3, 2026, 11:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hawkeye-pierce-or-sam-malone/1029000 "2026-04-03T11:14:41Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Mean\_Mr.Mustard](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mean_mr.mustard/32/3865_2.png) [@Mean\_Mr.Mustard](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mean_Mr.Mustard)\ **Post date:** [April 3, 2026, 11:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hawkeye-pierce-or-sam-malone/1029000/1 "2026-04-03T11:14:41Z")
I need a tiebreaker for my Best Male Sitcom Characters bracket. I’ll give this poll just 24 hours to make the call. _Poll ([view on site](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hawkeye-pierce-or-sam-malone/1029000/1))_ ---
**Author:** ![Mean\_Mr.Mustard](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mean_mr.mustard/32/3865_2.png) [@Mean\_Mr.Mustard](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mean_Mr.Mustard)\ **Post date:** [April 3, 2026, 11:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hawkeye-pierce-or-sam-malone/1029000/2 "2026-04-03T11:31:19Z")
OK, I’ve actually thought of a way to resolve this (they will both end up getting into the bracket). I’ll leave this running just out of curiosity. mmm ---
**Author:** ![Hypno-Toad](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/b2d939/32.png) [@Hypno-Toad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hypno-Toad)\ **Post date:** [April 3, 2026, 12:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hawkeye-pierce-or-sam-malone/1029000/3 "2026-04-03T12:50:44Z")
Had to go with Sam. Even as a kid in the 70’s, I found Hawkeye too self-righteous for my taste. ---
**Author:** ![Jaycat.again](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jaycat.again/32/11525_2.png) [@Jaycat.again](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jaycat.again)\ **Post date:** [April 3, 2026, 3:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hawkeye-pierce-or-sam-malone/1029000/4 "2026-04-03T15:48:00Z")
Agreed. When he wasn’t busy being self-righteous, he was busy doing his Groucho Marx imitation. ---
**Author:** ![kenobi\_65](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kenobi_65/32/13178_2.png) [@kenobi\_65](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kenobi_65)\ **Post date:** [April 3, 2026, 3:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hawkeye-pierce-or-sam-malone/1029000/5 "2026-04-03T15:50:55Z")
I voted for Sam. Hawkeye was an enjoyable character in the early years of _MASH_, but as time went on, the show got preachier, and the characters who had negative aspects (Hawkeye, Hot Lips, Frank, etc.) either got purified into purely “righteous” characters or written out of the series entirely. As already noted, Hawkeye became exceptionally self-righteous in the later seasons. ---
**Author:** ![Mean\_Mr.Mustard](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mean_mr.mustard/32/3865_2.png) [@Mean\_Mr.Mustard](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mean_Mr.Mustard)\ **Post date:** [April 3, 2026, 3:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hawkeye-pierce-or-sam-malone/1029000/6 "2026-04-03T15:53:00Z")
MASH dropped off my quality rating as well. Not because Hawkeye got too preachy, even though he did, but because the dialogue became nothing but endless one-liners rather than real conversations. Nobody speaks like every MASH character spoke toward the later seasons. It sounds very clunky to my ears, very _written_. mmm ---
**Author:** ![kenobi\_65](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kenobi_65/32/13178_2.png) [@kenobi\_65](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kenobi_65)\ **Post date:** [April 3, 2026, 3:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hawkeye-pierce-or-sam-malone/1029000/7 "2026-04-03T15:59:59Z")
> [@Mean\_Mr.Mustard](#): > > Nobody speaks like every MASH character spoke toward the later seasons. It sounds very clunky to my ears, very _written_. Indeed. Last week, when I was visiting my parents, I wound up watching a few episodes of _MASH_ on MeTV with my father; in looking the episodes up on IMDb, I discovered that they were from the final season. So, no Radar, Klinger was in uniform, Margaret and Charles had been transformed into nice (if a bit quirky) people, Hawkeye was just whiny, and the humor felt very forced. ---
**Author:** ![Ellecram](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ellecram/32/18948_2.png) [@Ellecram](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ellecram)\ **Post date:** [April 3, 2026, 4:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hawkeye-pierce-or-sam-malone/1029000/8 "2026-04-03T16:07:54Z")
I have no idea who Sam Malone is so I voted for Hawkeye Peirce as I sort of know who that is. ---
**Author:** ![Kent\_Clark](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kent_clark/32/105_2.png) [@Kent\_Clark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kent_Clark)\ **Post date:** [April 3, 2026, 4:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hawkeye-pierce-or-sam-malone/1029000/9 "2026-04-03T16:14:26Z")
Since the category is “Best Male Sitcom Character” I voted for Sam Malone. Hawkeye Pierce was a character in a show that wasn’t really a sitcom. ---
**Author:** ![Moriarty](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/moriarty/32/49_2.png) [@Moriarty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Moriarty)\ **Post date:** [April 3, 2026, 4:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hawkeye-pierce-or-sam-malone/1029000/10 "2026-04-03T16:20:07Z")
> [@Ellecram](#): > > I have no idea who Sam Malone is Former baseball pitcher. Recovering alcoholic. Owns a bar. > **[Sam Malone – Society for American Baseball Research](https://sabr.org/bioproj/topic/sam-malone/)** ---
**Author:** ![kenobi\_65](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kenobi_65/32/13178_2.png) [@kenobi\_65](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kenobi_65)\ **Post date:** [April 3, 2026, 4:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hawkeye-pierce-or-sam-malone/1029000/11 "2026-04-03T16:20:29Z")
> [@Ellecram](#): > > I have no idea who Sam Malone Ted Danson’s role on _Cheers_. ---
**Author:** ![Two\_Many\_Cats2](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/779978/32.png) [@Two\_Many\_Cats2](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Two_Many_Cats2)\ **Post date:** [April 3, 2026, 4:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hawkeye-pierce-or-sam-malone/1029000/12 "2026-04-03T16:21:06Z")
Both characters tended to treat women like garbage, so I didn’t really like either one. I voted Hawkeye because that women as garbage trait lessened a bit as the show went on. Although I can’t say I watched a lot of “Cheers”. I never liked that show. ---
**Author:** ![Ellecram](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ellecram/32/18948_2.png) [@Ellecram](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ellecram)\ **Post date:** [April 3, 2026, 4:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hawkeye-pierce-or-sam-malone/1029000/13 "2026-04-03T16:23:11Z")
> [@kenobi\_65](#): > > > [@Ellecram](#): > > > > I have no idea who Sam Malone > > Ted Danson’s role on _Cheers_.. OK thanks! I guess I could have looked it up. I never had time to watch TV until the mid 2000s and I’ve tried to catch up on some things but haven’t got around to these ones. ---
**Author:** ![fedman1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/e495f1/32.png) [@fedman1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/fedman1)\ **Post date:** [April 3, 2026, 10:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hawkeye-pierce-or-sam-malone/1029000/14 "2026-04-03T22:23:47Z")
+++ but at least Sam wasn’t totally obnoxious about it, but he still came across as a dumb jock, whereas at least Hawkeye had some skills ---
**Author:** ![terentii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/terentii/32/212_2.png) [@terentii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/terentii)\ **Post date:** [April 3, 2026, 10:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hawkeye-pierce-or-sam-malone/1029000/15 "2026-04-03T22:26:24Z")
I could never stand Alan Alda, so my vote is for Sam Malone. ---
**Author:** ![Fear\_Itself](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fear_itself/32/19637_2.png) [@Fear\_Itself](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fear_Itself)\ **Post date:** [April 3, 2026, 10:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hawkeye-pierce-or-sam-malone/1029000/16 "2026-04-03T22:38:01Z")
> [@Ellecram](#): > > I have no idea who Sam Malone is… Everybody knows his name. ---
**Author:** ![Ellecram](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ellecram/32/18948_2.png) [@Ellecram](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ellecram)\ **Post date:** [April 3, 2026, 10:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hawkeye-pierce-or-sam-malone/1029000/17 "2026-04-03T22:40:57Z")
> [@Fear\_Itself](#): > > > [@Ellecram](#): > > > > I have no idea who Sam Malone is… > > Everybody knows his name. Perfect response! For some reason I do know the song attached to the show probably from YouTube clips. ---
**Author:** ![SCAdian](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/scadian/32/3292_2.png) [@SCAdian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SCAdian)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2026, 11:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hawkeye-pierce-or-sam-malone/1029000/18 "2026-04-04T23:39:05Z")
Voted for Hawkeye because I knew who he was. ---
**Author:** ![The\_Other\_Waldo\_Pepper](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/the_other_waldo_pepper/32/12370_2.png) [@The\_Other\_Waldo\_Pepper](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Other_Waldo_Pepper)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2026, 11:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hawkeye-pierce-or-sam-malone/1029000/19 "2026-04-04T23:46:56Z")
> [@SCAdian](#): > > Voted for Hawkeye because I knew who he was. Voted against Hawkeye because I knew who he was. ---
**Author:** ![SCAdian](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/scadian/32/3292_2.png) [@SCAdian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SCAdian)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2026, 11:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hawkeye-pierce-or-sam-malone/1029000/20 "2026-04-04T23:48:47Z")
> [@Fear\_Itself](#): > > > [@Ellecram](#): > > > > I have no idea who Sam Malone is… > > Everybody knows his name. Beats the hell out of me, Roy. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hawkeye-pierce-or-sam-malone/1029000.md?page=2)