# HBO's Real Sex, glass dildos, and desperation
**URL:** https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hbos-real-sex-glass-dildos-and-desperation/67547
**Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
**Created:** [June 4, 2001, 5:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hbos-real-sex-glass-dildos-and-desperation/67547 "2001-06-04T17:53:31Z")
**Posts on this page:** 20
**Page:** 2
### Author:  [@Azura\_Borealis](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Azura_Borealis)
#### Post date: [June 5, 2001, 3:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hbos-real-sex-glass-dildos-and-desperation/67547/21 "2001-06-05T03:09:22Z")
Doc
Those sound more like Phallic Symbols of Fertility Rather than Dildo’s - And I agree, those ancient chinese ones, are all over the place, their creation/obsession mutated like rabbits somehow. Now, we probably have more Chickety China Chia Dongs on this planet than we have roaches. I’ve seen some fairly revolting looking ones go for well over 6 figures (And that’s just online) Maybe you could put together an “Ancient Chinese Female Relief Treasure Chest” Sell it and buy a new house.
But dealing in Antiques i’m sure you’re quite well aware of how obscene the amounts of money are, that you can get for certain ones. Some people just have far too much money to blow. But If I were One of them I wouldn’t complain. Hell No - I’d probably be a phallic statue connessieur (sp)
Try Sailing Those Babies Onto eBay…
(And give me your username so i can watch your auctions!!)
Heh. 😃
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### Author:  [@Jophiel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jophiel)
#### Post date: [June 5, 2001, 3:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hbos-real-sex-glass-dildos-and-desperation/67547/22 "2001-06-05T03:37:48Z")
Hehehe… the phrase “with proper care” cracks me up. As opposed to, say, using the dildo to hold up your car while changing the oil or perhaps using it to pry up manhole covers or something.
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### Author:  [@Sue\_Duhnym](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sue_Duhnym)
#### Post date: [June 5, 2001, 6:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hbos-real-sex-glass-dildos-and-desperation/67547/23 "2001-06-05T06:51:43Z")
Those ones from Azura’s link are almost beautiful. Blow them up to 6 or 8 feet and they’d be art.
Speaking of antiques, my mom and I once found antique speculums at a store. They were made of wood. :eek:
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### Author:  [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)
#### Post date: [June 5, 2001, 7:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hbos-real-sex-glass-dildos-and-desperation/67547/24 "2001-06-05T07:04:26Z")
Oh shit! LMAO…
I remember watching HBO’s Real Sex-the masturbation class for the elderly. :eek:
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### Author:  [@Drastic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Drastic)
#### Post date: [June 5, 2001, 7:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hbos-real-sex-glass-dildos-and-desperation/67547/25 "2001-06-05T07:33:56Z")
> [@](#):
>
> I remember watching HBO’s Real Sex-the masturbation class for the elderly.
::boggles::
They never learned HOW?
Perhaps this is an unspoken issue in the social security crisis.
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### Author:  [@Whammo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Whammo)
#### Post date: [June 5, 2001, 7:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hbos-real-sex-glass-dildos-and-desperation/67547/26 "2001-06-05T07:55:07Z")
> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by Jophiel \*
> \*\*Hehehe… the phrase “with proper care” cracks me up. As opposed to, say, using the dildo to hold up your car while changing the oil or perhaps using it to pry up manhole covers or something. \*\*
_ROFLMAO!!_
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### Author:  [@Azura\_Borealis](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Azura_Borealis)
#### Post date: [June 5, 2001, 8:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hbos-real-sex-glass-dildos-and-desperation/67547/27 "2001-06-05T08:29:16Z")
> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by Sue Duhnym \*
> \*\*Those ones from Azura’s link are almost beautiful. Blow them up to 6 or 8 feet and they’d be art.
>
> Speaking of antiques, my mom and I once found antique speculums at a store. They were made of wood. :eek: \*\*
Blow them up to 6 or 8 feet and all the nympho’s of the world would gashed in half :eek:
And most of our men would be shipped off to another planet.
Wooden speculums… hmm - wonder if Washington thought of that when he got his wooden dentures.
:eek:Buggary F\*ck! That would be one splintered kitty:eek:
They actually are quite gorgeous - I’d imagine them to be quite surprising gifts too.
_nudge nudge_
😃
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### Author:  [@Una\_Persson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Una_Persson)
#### Post date: [June 5, 2001, 9:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hbos-real-sex-glass-dildos-and-desperation/67547/28 "2001-06-05T09:57:33Z")
**Pepper** , are you serious?
Too bad they don’t have a bridal registry… 😉
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### Author:  [@Philster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Philster)
#### Post date: [June 5, 2001, 1:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hbos-real-sex-glass-dildos-and-desperation/67547/29 "2001-06-05T13:30:48Z")
Big deal, glass dildos.
I walk around with the real thing…all day long, baby.
Let me see glass do this…
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### Author:  [@Azura\_Borealis](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Azura_Borealis)
#### Post date: [June 5, 2001, 4:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hbos-real-sex-glass-dildos-and-desperation/67547/30 "2001-06-05T16:15:22Z")
> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by Philster \*
> \*\*Big deal, glass dildos.
> I walk around with the real thing…all day long, baby.
> Let me see glass do this… \*\*
- Ahem… _coff coff_ And your point to walking around with a live penis is…?
Can it do something special? Turn Flips Perhaps? Does it wear a circus hat and clown shoes? A Ninja Costume? Can it be sterilized with a simple swab of alcohol? Hidden under a mattress in the blink of an eye when company walks in?
Simply walking around with a live hunk of meat 'tween yur legs doesn’t qualify you as special. Maybe if perhaps you could elaborate on what:
**Let me see glass do this** entails,
you might be entitled to a scooby snack.
Otherwise I’d have to go with the Glass Version for Originality, Beauty, Creativity, The Ease of Care and Inability to Induce pregnancy and run away. heh.
Oh and it’s cost effectiveness. 😃
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### Author:  [@pepperlandgirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pepperlandgirl)
#### Post date: [June 5, 2001, 8:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hbos-real-sex-glass-dildos-and-desperation/67547/31 "2001-06-05T20:34:45Z")
> [@](#):
>
> ```
> Pepper, are you serious?
>
> Too bad they don't have a bridal registry..
>
> ```
Of course I’m serious. It may not look like much on the website, but on Real Sex it looked like all kinds of fun. 🙂
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### Author:  [@Arden\_Ranger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Arden_Ranger)
#### Post date: [June 5, 2001, 9:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hbos-real-sex-glass-dildos-and-desperation/67547/32 "2001-06-05T21:01:36Z")
Ok, people!
We need to start the collection for the SDMB wedding gift for **pepperlandgirl**!
We just need about 40 people to chip in 10 bucks.
Who’s gonna volunteer to handle it?
😃
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### Author:  [@Chef\_Troy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chef_Troy)
#### Post date: [June 5, 2001, 9:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hbos-real-sex-glass-dildos-and-desperation/67547/33 "2001-06-05T21:10:27Z")
> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by Arden Ranger \*
> \*\*Ok, people!
>
> We need to start the collection for the SDMB wedding gift for **pepperlandgirl**!
>
> We just need about 40 people to chip in 10 bucks.
>
> Who’s gonna volunteer to handle it?
>
> 😃 \*\*
Pepper isn’t going to want someone to handle it! Don’t you know how notorious Pyrex is for getting fingerprints all over it?
I nominate **Anthracite**. She’s going to be seeing Pepper in person (or should that be “in Persson”?), after all.
I’d love to contribute but I’ll need to come up with an explanation my wife will accept for why I’m chipping in to buy another woman a sex toy. Anybody got any ideas?
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### Author:  [@pepperlandgirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pepperlandgirl)
#### Post date: [June 5, 2001, 9:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hbos-real-sex-glass-dildos-and-desperation/67547/34 "2001-06-05T21:19:08Z")
> [@](#):
>
> I’d love to contribute but I’ll need to come up with an explanation my wife will accept for why I’m chipping in to
> buy another woman a sex toy. Anybody got any ideas?
“Well, Honey, Love of My Life, I can’t be on their Honeymoon with them. And, not taking anything away from her husband, I won’t be there to show her the true pleasure only I can provide. You, after all, have a monopoly on that. So I thought I’d do the next best thing and offer a few bucks so that she can have The Juicer. It’s really the least I can do.”
😃
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### Author:  [@Drastic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Drastic)
#### Post date: [June 5, 2001, 9:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hbos-real-sex-glass-dildos-and-desperation/67547/35 "2001-06-05T21:19:13Z")
> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by Chef Troy \*
> I’d love to contribute but I’ll need to come up with an explanation my wife will accept for why I’m chipping in to buy another woman a sex toy. Anybody got any ideas? \*\*
Well, it fights ignorance, doesn’t it? It “looked” fun on television, but that all may have been acting and tricks with lighting and smoke and mirrors and such. It’s just hearsay. They _say_ it’s worth that much, but that’s just their say-so. So when you get down to it (in it?) only a properly scientific test will do.
However, the cites she’d have to provide would likely violate parts of the SDMB’s Terms of Agreement, but those can be rewritten with an exemption clause, I’m sure.
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### Author:  [@Chef\_Troy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chef_Troy)
#### Post date: [June 5, 2001, 9:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hbos-real-sex-glass-dildos-and-desperation/67547/36 "2001-06-05T21:19:23Z")
By the way, I’ve been meaning to ask: In this show on HBO, did they show the Juicer in action? I mean, were there people on camera being juiced? If so, can someone tape it for me when it airs again?
It’s starting to sound like I need to break down and subscribe.
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### Author:  [@Arden\_Ranger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Arden_Ranger)
#### Post date: [June 5, 2001, 9:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hbos-real-sex-glass-dildos-and-desperation/67547/37 "2001-06-05T21:19:59Z")
Did you see those things?
They aren’t mere sex toys! Nay! They are _art_!
“We’re buying her a sculpture. Yeah…”
> [@](#):
>
> Don’t you know how notorious Pyrex is for getting fingerprints all over it?
I dunno. I htink fingerprints would be the least of my worries. :eek:
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### Author:  [@pepperlandgirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pepperlandgirl)
#### Post date: [June 5, 2001, 11:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hbos-real-sex-glass-dildos-and-desperation/67547/38 "2001-06-05T23:28:32Z")
> [@](#):
>
> ```
> By the way, I've been meaning to ask: In this show on HBO, did they show the Juicer in action? I mean, were
> there people on camera being juiced? If so, can someone tape it for me when it airs again?
>
> ```
Yeah, they showed one woman using it on the other. It wasn’t shown for long, but nothing was blurred out, if you know what I mean. 😉
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### Author:  [@capacitor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/capacitor)
#### Post date: [June 5, 2001, 11:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hbos-real-sex-glass-dildos-and-desperation/67547/39 "2001-06-05T23:43:51Z")
> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by Azura Borealis \*
>
> \*\*
> Can it do something special? Turn Flips Perhaps? Does it wear a circus hat and clown shoes? A Ninja Costume? Can it be sterilized with a simple swab of alcohol? Hidden under a mattress in the blink of an eye when company walks in?
>
> \*\*
Owww!! Rubbing alcohol and penises do not mix!!!
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### Author:  [@The\_Mermaid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Mermaid)
#### Post date: [June 6, 2001, 12:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hbos-real-sex-glass-dildos-and-desperation/67547/40 "2001-06-06T00:09:10Z")
Ok I can’t decide which is more disturbing …
this
\*Cleopatra’s Secret Jewel of the Nile. Made of high quality acrylic. We personally recommend this new and exciting Dildo. Bonnie owns one herself and ranks it in the top 5 of her collection.You can use either end for unbelievable stimulation both vaginal and anal. **You can also Freeze it for a thrill you won’t soon forget** :eek:. Use a high grade lubricant like “Embrace” to cause the Jewel to slide like silk. Orgasms like you never thought possible are achieved with this toy. (This may be the last Dildo you ever buy!!) \*
or this
_Owww!! Rubbing alcohol and penises do not mix!!!_
Both of these seem wrong and deeply disturbing.
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