# He hit my kid. Someone talk me down..... **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [December 10, 2005, 4:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/he-hit-my-kid-someone-talk-me-down/335050 "2005-12-10T16:45:21Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 5
**Author:** ![Weirddave](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/919ad9/32.png) [@Weirddave](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Weirddave)\ **Post date:** [December 12, 2005, 7:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/he-hit-my-kid-someone-talk-me-down/335050/81 "2005-12-12T07:10:05Z")
> [@featherlou](#): > > I would like to think you’re kidding in this post, but you don’t seem to be. This is not something a decent human being would do. My post was in response to someone who said that the situation was no place for a gun. I merely gave an example of how a gun could be used in this situation w/o anyone being killed. I’ve been on the wrong end of a gun a couple of times in my life and believe me, it engenders an intense desire not to do whatever it was that put you there in the first place. (Neither one was my fault, once was a robbery and once was a case of mistaken identity, and yet each time I still had an intense need not to do whatever the gunweilder didn’t want me to do) ---
**Author:** ![threemae](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/5f9b8f/32.png) [@threemae](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/threemae)\ **Post date:** [December 12, 2005, 7:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/he-hit-my-kid-someone-talk-me-down/335050/82 "2005-12-12T07:53:13Z")
Thanks **Weirddave** , way to cock up the argument of responsible gun ownership for everyone else. You make gun owners and advocates look like fools. Again, thank you. ---
**Author:** ![Reepicheep](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/ed655f/32.png) [@Reepicheep](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Reepicheep)\ **Post date:** [December 12, 2005, 8:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/he-hit-my-kid-someone-talk-me-down/335050/83 "2005-12-12T08:15:38Z")
Several have said it before, I’ll say it again – Bus Kid has a great father. You did a good job raising her, the proof of which is she is 1) ready to go out and be Queen of the World, 2) she felt she could come to you with this problem. The absolute best ending to the episode, I can think of, is that ex-bf takes this incident to heart and changes his attitude to women. Even if he does not, Mr. Bus Guy, you raised a winner, well done sir. ---
**Author:** ![Obsidian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/51bf81/32.png) [@Obsidian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Obsidian)\ **Post date:** [December 12, 2005, 9:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/he-hit-my-kid-someone-talk-me-down/335050/84 "2005-12-12T09:53:36Z")
> [@featherlou](#): > > Second, I think the whole email was a terrible idea. As the father of a twenty year old, your role is NOT to protect her any more, **Mr. Bus Guy**. Your role is to support her, guide her, and love her unconditionally as she learns how to protect herself. I am sorry, Mr. Bus Guy, but in my opinion, this just isn’t your fight. I hope, until the day that I die, that my father (and, for that matter, my mother and my sister and my 90 year old grandpa) will have my back if I need protection. I do not get the people in this thread who are insisting that she’s on her own in this. An abusive boyfriend is not the time for a “learning experience” for a 20 year old. It’s time for the Big Guns (figuratively). This is one this is one facet of mainstream culture that just blows me away. I’m not sure what it’s origin is. In the itallian-immigrant culture I was raised in, NOT coming to the aide of your family members would be considered reprehensible. We all take care of each other. If I called my folks and said, “Dad, my boyfriend’s hitting me and I’m afraid,” if he didn’t respond with “I’m on my way” or “someone bring me my golf clubs”, I’d be pretty hurt and frightened. As long as we are both breathing I will be his child, and it will always be his fight. **Mr Bus Guy** , I hope you will always have your daughter’s back. ---
**Author:** ![Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bosda_di_chi_of_tricor/32/16845_2.png) [@Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bosda_Di_Chi_of_Tricor)\ **Post date:** [December 12, 2005, 1:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/he-hit-my-kid-someone-talk-me-down/335050/85 "2005-12-12T13:17:34Z")
**Updike** , I leave something to be desired as a poster. You, on the other hand, leave much to be desired as a poster. ---
**Author:** ![Kalhoun](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/3bc359/32.png) [@Kalhoun](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kalhoun)\ **Post date:** [December 12, 2005, 1:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/he-hit-my-kid-someone-talk-me-down/335050/86 "2005-12-12T13:19:57Z")
> [@Obsidian](#): > > I hope, until the day that I die, that my father (and, for that matter, my mother and my sister and my 90 year old grandpa) will have my back if I need protection. I do not get the people in this thread who are insisting that she’s on her own in this. An abusive boyfriend is not the time for a “learning experience” for a 20 year old. It’s time for the Big Guns (figuratively). > > This is one this is one facet of mainstream culture that just blows me away. I’m not sure what it’s origin is. In the itallian-immigrant culture I was raised in, NOT coming to the aide of your family members would be considered reprehensible. We all take care of each other. If I called my folks and said, “Dad, my boyfriend’s hitting me and I’m afraid,” if he didn’t respond with “I’m on my way” or “someone bring me my golf clubs”, I’d be pretty hurt and frightened. As long as we are both breathing I will be his child, and it will always be his fight. **Mr Bus Guy** , I hope you will always have your daughter’s back. But that’s not what happened in this case. Of course if he was in the process of hitting her, Bus Guy would have intervened. Anyone would for anyone. This was after the fact. He didn’t see it. Would your family just go track the guy down and beat the shit out of him? Bus Guy’s daughter is an adult and needs to take control of her life. Bus Guy’s emotions obviously got the better of him and he sent an email that can be construed as a threat (though I doubt any court would put him up against the wall for it). Support is different from fighting her battles for her, particularly when she has every right to go back to the guy if she so desires. It isn’t a pleasant learning experience, but it is one she has to take on herself, with the support of her family. ---
**Author:** ![Man\_With\_a\_Cat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/cab0a1/32.png) [@Man\_With\_a\_Cat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Man_With_a_Cat)\ **Post date:** [December 12, 2005, 1:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/he-hit-my-kid-someone-talk-me-down/335050/87 "2005-12-12T13:50:20Z")
> [@Kalhoun](#): > > But that’s not what happened in this case. Of course if he was in the process of hitting her, Bus Guy would have intervened. Anyone would for anyone. This was after the fact. He didn’t see it. Would your family just go track the guy down and beat the shit out of him? > > Bus Guy’s daughter is an adult and needs to take control of her life. Bus Guy’s emotions obviously got the better of him and he sent an email that can be construed as a threat (though I doubt any court would put him up against the wall for it). Support is different from fighting her battles for her, particularly when she has every right to go back to the guy if she so desires. It isn’t a pleasant learning experience, but it is one she has to take on herself, with the support of her family. No, I’m sorry. **Obsidian** said it a lot more eloquently than I would have. The daughter has control of her life. What she doesn’t have control over is some asswipe that thinks it’s ok to punch her. Day to day she deals with all the shitty things in life that I’m sure you do, and that you leave your kids to deal with on their own. She keeps an eye on when her car needs maintenance and takes care of it. She deals with professors and class work, and shitty bosses and customers at work. Her teeth hurt, and she calls the dentist herself. I don’t fight those battles. Sure, when we talk, those things come up and I see that she’s frustrated or pissed off or in pain or whatever, but she takes care of herself pretty well. She has to, she lives 360 miles away from home, it’s something you learn pretty fast that way. But someone smacking her? Until the day I die, I’ll be there to stand by her for that. When a MAN (and I hate usiing that word for him) hits a woman and intimidates her, and that woman is my child, that’s when I’m stepping in. I have told her since her teen years, in almost exactly these words: “In your life people will do things to hurt you. Mom and I can help YOU deal with those. But there’s a difference between being hurt, and being harmed. When you are harmed (and by harm I mean PHYSICAL harm), that’s where you ask me for help” In fact, Friday night when she came to me with this, that’s how she started the conversation, by asking me if I remember telling her the difference between being hurt and being harmed. ---
**Author:** ![Man\_With\_a\_Cat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/cab0a1/32.png) [@Man\_With\_a\_Cat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Man_With_a_Cat)\ **Post date:** [December 12, 2005, 1:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/he-hit-my-kid-someone-talk-me-down/335050/88 "2005-12-12T13:57:52Z")
> [@Updike](#): > > **Mr. Bus Guy** makes threats of violence, which may or may not be illegal, and are likely in violation of the spirit, if not the rules, of the SDMB. > > But I’m the insensitive idiot. Yeah right. Right. First thing you got right. BTW, the 4th post to this thread was from a Mod. A Mod who gave me a well-written smackdown, but yet didn’t find any board violation. IIRC, reporting violations of the rules by another member is encouraged to be done through an e-mail to a Mod. Did ya send one? Or was it easier to piss that out here in the open? ---
**Author:** ![Mellivora\_capensis](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/8797f3/32.png) [@Mellivora\_capensis](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mellivora_capensis)\ **Post date:** [December 12, 2005, 2:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/he-hit-my-kid-someone-talk-me-down/335050/89 "2005-12-12T14:27:05Z")
I might have interpreted previous posters incorrectly, but there seems to be a view that taking the legal route is somehow morally superior to the baser violent approach, and that by employing a lawyer and following “due process” you are adopting a non-violent approach to problem solving. I would argue that perhaps this is not really the case. Let’s assume we obtain the necessary restraining order. What happens if the perpetrator ignores the legal warning? Naturally we call the police and request them to “enforce” the restraining order. Note the term “enforce”. The cops growl and scowl, and the perpetrator backs down, albeit temporarily. Next step, the perpetrator ups the ante, gets closer, verbally or even physically assaults the victim, another flurry of legal activity, and he ends up in court, probably with the “forceful” assistance of the police. The inevitable happens, this goes round and around until a judge gets pissed off and puts him in jail. Is forcefully incarcerating someone not a violent act? Is forcefully denying someone the freedom of movement not a violent act? Haven’t we merely transferred the violence from the individual to the legal system, and required it to be violent on our behalf? I don’t believe that the legal solution is any less violent than the High Noon approach. Indeed the legal route may be more elegant, and more convoluted, but it still employs force, fear and ultimately violence in order to control people. And **featherlou,** with great respect, I strongly disagree with you. I believe we owe it to our loved ones, regardless of age, to protect them. If we don’t, who will? ---
**Author:** ![eleanorigby](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ee7513/32.png) [@eleanorigby](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/eleanorigby)\ **Post date:** [December 12, 2005, 3:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/he-hit-my-kid-someone-talk-me-down/335050/90 "2005-12-12T15:07:28Z")
20 isn’t all that old–there is a school of thought that has extended adolescence into the late 20’s. I cannot figure out why some here insist that BusKid fight this particular battle by herself. What exactly is she to do? Confront the abuser? I don’t think so (and let’s leave the guns out of this, please–a gun is not going to help her). I do think she should file a police report–so there is a record of this asshole’s behavior. Then again, I believe in documenting everything in cases such as these. Why wouldn’t her Dad be told? I would want my kids to tell me if some shit like this was happening. I probably wouldn’t have sent the email (then again, I’m female, so I would most likely turn to the kid’s father for help solving this problem), but I might have called him. I would do what I could to pull her out of that situation. And I would likely get her to some counselling–it couldn’t hurt. What is family for, if not for stuff like this? ---
**Author:** ![Kalhoun](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/3bc359/32.png) [@Kalhoun](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kalhoun)\ **Post date:** [December 12, 2005, 3:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/he-hit-my-kid-someone-talk-me-down/335050/91 "2005-12-12T15:17:46Z")
> [@Mr Bus Guy](#): > > No, I’m sorry. **Obsidian** said it a lot more eloquently than I would have. The daughter has control of her life. What she doesn’t have control over is some asswipe that thinks it’s ok to punch her. > > Day to day she deals with all the shitty things in life that I’m sure you do, and that you leave your kids to deal with on their own. She keeps an eye on when her car needs maintenance and takes care of it. She deals with professors and class work, and shitty bosses and customers at work. Her teeth hurt, and she calls the dentist herself. I don’t fight those battles. Sure, when we talk, those things come up and I see that she’s frustrated or pissed off or in pain or whatever, but she takes care of herself pretty well. She has to, she lives 360 miles away from home, it’s something you learn pretty fast that way. > > But someone smacking her? Until the day I die, I’ll be there to stand by her for that. When a MAN (and I hate usiing that word for him) hits a woman and intimidates her, and that woman is my child, that’s when I’m stepping in. > > I have told her since her teen years, in almost exactly these words: “In your life people will do things to hurt you. Mom and I can help YOU deal with those. But there’s a difference between being hurt, and being harmed. When you are harmed (and by harm I mean PHYSICAL harm), that’s where you ask me for help” > > In fact, Friday night when she came to me with this, that’s how she started the conversation, by asking me if I remember telling her the difference between being hurt and being harmed. I guess I don’t understand if you daughter was asking you to threaten or beat the shit out of this guy or if she was just looking for moral support or advice. If she asked you to beat the shit out of him, would you? That’s the difference I’m trying to highlight here. If she’s capable of handling the situation herself, and is simply looking to you for moral support, a sounding board, or a shoulder to cry on, why wouldn’t you want her to take the steps necessary to protect herself? ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [December 12, 2005, 3:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/he-hit-my-kid-someone-talk-me-down/335050/92 "2005-12-12T15:32:58Z")
Maybe I should clarify what I mean by “protect.” By all means, if you see your kid (or anybody, for that matter) getting hit, step in and use all necessary force. Help a family member get out of a bad situation, give them whatever resources they need, do everything you possibly can to keep them safe. But going and hunting down somebody or threatening to hurt them after the fact isn’t protection, it’s retaliation. Retaliation might feel pretty good and justified, but it isn’t legal, and in my personal opinion, it isn’t a good idea. Part of why I suggest that Bus Kid needs to fight this battle herself is because she DOES need to fight this battle herself. Note the word “need.” To become a fully realized, functioning adult she will need to learn how to make mistakes, accept the consequences for them, fix them, learn from them, and move on. It was her choice to have a relationship with this guy, and now (with her father’s unconditional love and support) she gets to learn how to un-entangle herself from it. ---
**Author:** ![Kalhoun](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/3bc359/32.png) [@Kalhoun](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kalhoun)\ **Post date:** [December 12, 2005, 3:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/he-hit-my-kid-someone-talk-me-down/335050/93 "2005-12-12T15:40:36Z")
> [@featherlou](#): > > Maybe I should clarify what I mean by “protect.” By all means, if you see your kid (or anybody, for that matter) getting hit, step in and use all necessary force. Help a family member get out of a bad situation, give them whatever resources they need, do everything you possibly can to keep them safe. But going and hunting down somebody or threatening to hurt them after the fact isn’t protection, it’s retaliation. Retaliation might feel pretty good and justified, but it isn’t legal, and in my personal opinion, it isn’t a good idea. > > Part of why I suggest that Bus Kid needs to fight this battle herself is because she DOES need to fight this battle herself. Note the word “need.” To become a fully realized, functioning adult she will need to learn how to make mistakes, accept the consequences for them, fix them, learn from them, and move on. It was her choice to have a relationship with this guy, and now (with her father’s unconditional love and support) she gets to learn how to un-entangle herself from it. Prezactly. Teaching self reliance is the biggest responsibility a parent has to their adult child. No one is saying to tell her to fuck off and deal. But she will be stronger for taking steps to ensure her own safety. Discuss, advise, and comfort. But she still needs to decide for herself how to handle the situation. ---
**Author:** ![catsix](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e19b73/32.png) [@catsix](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/catsix)\ **Post date:** [December 12, 2005, 3:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/he-hit-my-kid-someone-talk-me-down/335050/94 "2005-12-12T15:49:23Z")
> [@](#): > > **Jotun** said: > I figured that might come up. I still think it would be best in the majority of cases to just walk away. It just looks bad if a woman has a black eye and you learn that a guy did it. I try to find out the facts before rushing to judge. > [@](#): > > When it comes to teaching young boys about this subject, I’d rather teach them to just fend her off, and walk away. Teaching them “It’s sometimes okay to hit women” is just too ambiguous to me. I think it’s easy enough to teach kids that they have every right to use as much force as is necessary to end an assault against them, and no more. I started learning young that you ‘don’t ever hit anyone first’ and that you ‘don’t kick someone when they’re down.’ Defending oneself is a right _every person_ has. > [@](#): > > Perhaps I should have said “it’s unacceptable for a man to ever hit a woman in anger”? Or that it’s not acceptable to hit _anyone_ out of anger. Girls also need to learn that it is not OK to slap a man or pound on his chest with your fists or throw dishes at him if you are angry with him. I had a male friend who was abused by his girlfriend. He was taught to not hit women, and wouldn’t defend himself because he believed it was never, ever OK to hit a woman. It was an ugly situation and it took a lot of work to get him to stick up for himself and eventually leave her. > [@](#): > > **jrfranchi** said: > His Daughter, his child, gets assaulted by someone that should be treating her exceptionally well and you come into the thread an act like occasional underage drinking in college almost never happens and is the bigger crime. That does not give him any right to go around making threats about exacting his own justice or acting like a vigilante. Sorry, but in the USA it’s not legal to go beat up the guy who gave your daughter a bruise. It’s a crime, and so is threatening to do so. At the very least (IANAL) emailing this guy could be harassment by communication. > [@](#): > > **Obsidian** said: > I hope, until the day that I die, that my father (and, for that matter, my mother and my sister and my 90 year old grandpa) will have my back if I need protection. And if my father tried to be a vigilante and protect me by threatening to mete out his own justice, I’d not only be horribly embarassed by his inability to respect me and my decision as an adult how to handle the matter, but worrying about whether or not he’d be facing criminal charges. Like it or not, this isn’t a John Grisham book and people don’t get to decide how justice will be carried out on an individual basis. People should not be taking the law into their own hands. ---
**Author:** ![Mellivora\_capensis](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/8797f3/32.png) [@Mellivora\_capensis](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mellivora_capensis)\ **Post date:** [December 12, 2005, 3:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/he-hit-my-kid-someone-talk-me-down/335050/95 "2005-12-12T15:51:40Z")
**featherlou** , you make good points. However, I would prefer to use the word intervened instead of retaliated. Would intervention not go hand in hand with protection? ---
**Author:** ![What\_Exit](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/what_exit/32/10652_2.png) [@What\_Exit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/What_Exit)\ **Post date:** [December 12, 2005, 3:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/he-hit-my-kid-someone-talk-me-down/335050/96 "2005-12-12T15:57:46Z")
> [@featherlou](#): > > Maybe I should clarify what I mean by “protect.” By all means, if you see your kid (or anybody, for that matter) getting hit, step in and use all necessary force. Help a family member get out of a bad situation, give them whatever resources they need, do everything you possibly can to keep them safe. But going and hunting down somebody or threatening to hurt them after the fact isn’t protection, it’s retaliation. Retaliation might feel pretty good and justified, but it isn’t legal, and in my personal opinion, it isn’t a good idea. > > Part of why I suggest that Bus Kid needs to fight this battle herself is because she DOES need to fight this battle herself. Note the word “need.” To become a fully realized, functioning adult she will need to learn how to make mistakes, accept the consequences for them, fix them, learn from them, and move on. It was her choice to have a relationship with this guy, and now (with her father’s unconditional love and support) she gets to learn how to un-entangle herself from it. I’m curious about this need to fight their own battles. My wife had a stalker. I was prepared to do whatever was required to protect her. We handled this through the police in a very efficient way. Our Police talked to the Police in his hometown and they picked him up and explained to him that if he ever bothered us again both police departments would ensure that he would never want to again. Apparently they were able to convince him it was time to move on. We never heard from him again. So, was I wrong to help my wife through this situation? I had incidentally threatened him once, before I was even dating my wife. He was trying to sneak in backstage at the Count Basie where I was doing stagehand/security work for a Jazz & Blues festival. I had seen him annoying this girl I barely knew and when I saw him again trying to sneak in to talk to her. I signaled my brother over and he grabbed two more volunteers and we simply told him it was time for him to go home, he had no business here and if we saw him again we would call the police. (The Police are right down the road). Thankfully he left. I would have done this for any girl if the situation presented itself. I didn’t find out until after I had been dating my wife that this was an old boy friend from college that wouldn’t leave her alone. If violence had been required to protect her, I would have used it. Thankfully in most cases there are peaceful means. I am happy the Police had a way of dealing with this idiot and he wasn’t crazy enough to do anything further. Jim ---
**Author:** ![Man\_With\_a\_Cat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/cab0a1/32.png) [@Man\_With\_a\_Cat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Man_With_a_Cat)\ **Post date:** [December 12, 2005, 3:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/he-hit-my-kid-someone-talk-me-down/335050/97 "2005-12-12T15:59:01Z")
Sometimes I wonder if people have bothered to read previous posts. Let’s count the ways she’s dealt with this herself: 1. She got on the phone and contacted the local PD, and prosecutors office to learn her options. > [@](#): > > The kid took pictures that night and the next day of the bruising on her arm. She’s on the phone right now with a counselor at the prosecutor’s office in Ohio. Most of what she has to do she can do long distance, but we might be takikng a one-day trip this coming week. 1. She told the jerkoff to leave her alone, and outlined that the police would become involved if he did not. > [@](#): > > He called about 20 minute ago. Very short conversation. She asked if he’s seen his e-mail. > > No, he was on his way home from work. She says go read your e-mail then don’t call me ever again. ---
**Author:** ![kidchameleon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/898d66/32.png) [@kidchameleon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kidchameleon)\ **Post date:** [December 12, 2005, 4:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/he-hit-my-kid-someone-talk-me-down/335050/98 "2005-12-12T16:01:36Z")
If this were the Law and Orderverse, BF would be so dead in a weird homicide that would lead to **Mr Bus Guy** bring the prime suspect until some weird coincidence proved he couldn’t have done it. ---
**Author:** ![Mellivora\_capensis](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/8797f3/32.png) [@Mellivora\_capensis](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mellivora_capensis)\ **Post date:** [December 12, 2005, 4:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/he-hit-my-kid-someone-talk-me-down/335050/99 "2005-12-12T16:08:28Z")
**catsix** , I acknowledge the nobility of your “don’t hit first” credo and I’m sure it would apply in many circumstances, but I’m not sure I would apply it in every life situation. When confronted with an attacker whose intent to harm is clear and present, the last thing you can afford is to be hit first. And when he’s down, and he’s trying to get up, he needs to stay down. On the street there are no Marquis of Queensbury rules. ---
**Author:** ![Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bosda_di_chi_of_tricor/32/16845_2.png) [@Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bosda_Di_Chi_of_Tricor)\ **Post date:** [December 12, 2005, 4:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/he-hit-my-kid-someone-talk-me-down/335050/100 "2005-12-12T16:08:29Z")
> [@kidchameleon](#): > > If this were the Law and Orderverse, BF would be so dead in a weird homicide that would lead to **Mr Bus Guy** bring the prime suspect until some weird coincidence proved he couldn’t have done it. Like…being run over by a bus. Inside his living room. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/he-hit-my-kid-someone-talk-me-down/335050.md?page=4) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/he-hit-my-kid-someone-talk-me-down/335050.md?page=6)