# "He MUST be laid!" Book passages that have not aged well **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [February 1, 2004, 12:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/he-must-be-laid-book-passages-that-have-not-aged-well/226970 "2004-02-01T00:52:31Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Cargogal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/48db29/32.png) [@Cargogal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cargogal)\ **Post date:** [February 2, 2004, 5:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/he-must-be-laid-book-passages-that-have-not-aged-well/226970/41 "2004-02-02T05:54:37Z")
> [@Shade](#): > > Use of ‘ejaculate’ in place of ‘said’… You don’t even need to look to aged books! Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix used ‘ejaculate’… and many other choice phrases: \Harry Potter oddities\. ---
**Author:** ![Cargogal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/48db29/32.png) [@Cargogal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cargogal)\ **Post date:** [February 2, 2004, 5:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/he-must-be-laid-book-passages-that-have-not-aged-well/226970/42 "2004-02-02T05:55:52Z")
Darnit, HTML isn’t allowed… [That link](http://www.clockwork-harlequin.net/harry_potter/smut.html). ---
**Author:** ![Cargogal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/48db29/32.png) [@Cargogal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cargogal)\ **Post date:** [February 2, 2004, 5:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/he-must-be-laid-book-passages-that-have-not-aged-well/226970/43 "2004-02-02T05:59:20Z")
> [@F. U. Shakespeare](#): > > I can’t believe I’m the first to bring up Gilbert and Sullivan’s _Tit-Willow._ 😃 The first verse is the best: On a tree by a river a little tom-tit Sang “Willow, titwillow, titwillow!” And I said to him, “Dicky-bird, why do you sit Singing Willow, titwillow, titwillow’?” “Is it weakness of intellect, birdie?” I cried, “Or a rather tough worm in your little inside?” With a shake of his poor little head, he replied, “Oh, willow, titwillow, titwillow!” The Little House on the Prairie had Laura chasing tits at one point, if I remember correctly. And then there are nursery rhymes: Ding dong bell, pussy in the well Who put her in? Little Johnny Flynn Who pulled her out?Little Tommy Stout… ---
**Author:** ![Kamino\_Neko](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kamino_neko/32/34_2.png) [@Kamino\_Neko](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kamino_Neko)\ **Post date:** [February 2, 2004, 6:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/he-must-be-laid-book-passages-that-have-not-aged-well/226970/44 "2004-02-02T06:14:59Z")
> [@Phase42](#): > > In one of C. S. Lewis’ _Chronicles of Narnia_ books, there’s a reference to young Lucy going about the house “making love to everybody” (paraphrasing - it’s been many years since I read the books). Considering the fact that Lucy was prepubescent, I must assume that “making love” had an even more innocent connotation that even flirting. Especially since most of the people in the house were her relatives. It was The Silver Chair, and not Lucy, but Eustace’s female friend. What makes it even scarier, using the modern meaning, is it was GIANTS she was ‘making love’ to. ---
**Author:** ![slackersavant](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a4c791/32.png) [@slackersavant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/slackersavant)\ **Post date:** [February 2, 2004, 6:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/he-must-be-laid-book-passages-that-have-not-aged-well/226970/45 "2004-02-02T06:42:19Z")
From 1898 - E.W. Hornung’s story “The Ides of March” about gentleman thief AJ Raffles includes “But I fagged for you at school” “Anyway I recollect fagging you to do my verses” and “Because he had been kind to me at school, when he was captain of the eleven, and I his fag” Fag in this sense apparently is a reference to a younger student helping an upperclassman with stuff. ---
**Author:** ![Miller](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/miller/32/481_2.png) [@Miller](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Miller)\ **Post date:** [February 2, 2004, 6:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/he-must-be-laid-book-passages-that-have-not-aged-well/226970/46 "2004-02-02T06:43:14Z")
Hey, **Sketch** : “Call me Butt Love, and I’ll be new baptiz’d.” ---
**Author:** ![Shade](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/2bfe46/32.png) [@Shade](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shade)\ **Post date:** [February 2, 2004, 12:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/he-must-be-laid-book-passages-that-have-not-aged-well/226970/47 "2004-02-02T12:05:43Z")
> [@Cargogal](#): > > You don’t even need to look to aged books! Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix used ‘ejaculate’… and many other choice phrases: > > \Harry Potter oddities\. I stand corrected. I hadn’t noticed that. ---
**Author:** ![brainfizz](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/da6949/32.png) [@brainfizz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/brainfizz)\ **Post date:** [February 2, 2004, 3:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/he-must-be-laid-book-passages-that-have-not-aged-well/226970/48 "2004-02-02T15:09:47Z")
I remember reading one of Enid Blyton’s “Famous Five” books, in which one of the characters was a tomboy called Georgina, which she shortened to George. One of the lines in it was: Dick ejaculated, “George, you’ve got as much spunk as any boy!” ---
**Author:** ![Malacandra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Malacandra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malacandra)\ **Post date:** [February 2, 2004, 3:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/he-must-be-laid-book-passages-that-have-not-aged-well/226970/49 "2004-02-02T15:15:24Z")
> [@Phase42](#): > > I had a children’s book when I was a, um, child, called _Something Queer Is Going On_. > In one of C. S. Lewis’ _Chronicles of Narnia_ books, there’s a reference to young Lucy going about the house “making love to everybody” (paraphrasing - it’s been many years since I read the books). Considering the fact that Lucy was prepubescent, I must assume that “making love” had an even more innocent connotation that even flirting. Especially since most of the people in the house were her relatives. The reference I was just trying to remember is from _The Silver Chair_, in which it’s Jill Pole, not Lucy, and the people in question are giants, not relatives. Apologies if there really is a Lucy reference in one of the other books. And on another well-trodden theme in this thread, _The War of the Worlds_ has the narrator visiting someone’s house in great urgency, and the lady of the house hurrying downstairs to the door, while her husband follows her, ejaculating. Makes you wonder what they were doing before the rude interruption 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![RobuSensei](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/919ad9/32.png) [@RobuSensei](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RobuSensei)\ **Post date:** [February 2, 2004, 3:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/he-must-be-laid-book-passages-that-have-not-aged-well/226970/50 "2004-02-02T15:23:39Z")
> [@tracer](#): > > … as well as references to flaming faggots. _You dieth, G.I.!_ 😃 sorry, couldn’t resist ---
**Author:** ![BrotherCadfael](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/977dab/32.png) [@BrotherCadfael](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrotherCadfael)\ **Post date:** [February 2, 2004, 3:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/he-must-be-laid-book-passages-that-have-not-aged-well/226970/51 "2004-02-02T15:54:48Z")
> [@thegreyathena](#): > > You don’t like the little tom tit? (snicker) [Benny Hill] TITS LIKE COCONUTS!!! They are also fond of sunflower seeds, cracked corn, etc… [/Benny Hill] ---
**Author:** ![Kamino\_Neko](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kamino_neko/32/34_2.png) [@Kamino\_Neko](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kamino_Neko)\ **Post date:** [February 2, 2004, 11:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/he-must-be-laid-book-passages-that-have-not-aged-well/226970/52 "2004-02-02T23:09:11Z")
> [@Malacandra](#): > > The reference I was just trying to remember is from _The Silver Chair_, in which it’s Jill Pole, not Lucy, and the people in question are giants, not relatives. Apologies if there really is a Lucy reference in one of the other books. Look up about 4 posts. ---
**Author:** ![sugaree](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/cc9497/32.png) [@sugaree](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sugaree)\ **Post date:** [February 5, 2004, 11:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/he-must-be-laid-book-passages-that-have-not-aged-well/226970/53 "2004-02-05T23:55:54Z")
From James Fenimore Cooper’s _Last of the Mohicans_: > [@](#): > > One, and she was the most juvenile in her appearance, though both were young, permitted glimpses of her dazzling complexion, fair golden hair, and bright blue eyes, to be caught, as she artlessly suffered the morning air to blow aside the green veil which descended low from her beaver. I can’t stop laughing. ---
**Author:** ![pravnik](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/8edcca/32.png) [@pravnik](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pravnik)\ **Post date:** [February 6, 2004, 12:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/he-must-be-laid-book-passages-that-have-not-aged-well/226970/54 "2004-02-06T00:21:19Z")
I love little pussy, Her coat is so warm, And if I don’t hurt her, She’ll do me no harm. So I’ll not pull her tail, Nor drive her away, But pussy and I, Very gently will play. ---
**Author:** ![SciFiSam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/47e85d/32.png) [@SciFiSam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SciFiSam)\ **Post date:** [March 9, 2004, 9:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/he-must-be-laid-book-passages-that-have-not-aged-well/226970/55 "2004-03-09T21:45:23Z")
Enid Blyton of course has numerous references to ‘feeling queer’ ‘gay fellows’ and ‘fags,’ and of course has characters called Fanny and Dick. They characters also ejaculate a lot and sleep together all the time. It gave me some extra laughs as a knowing chld 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Cliffy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/59ef9b/32.png) [@Cliffy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cliffy)\ **Post date:** [March 9, 2004, 10:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/he-must-be-laid-book-passages-that-have-not-aged-well/226970/56 "2004-03-09T22:50:25Z")
> [@ivylass](#): > > I read _Gone With the Wind_ when I was in 6th grade. > > It threw me for a loop when Scarlett wondered, upon Ashley’s furlough from the war, how she could have stood other men making love to her. I think the meaning changed around WWII, although there were several years of overlap. I’m pretty sure I’ve seen the term used both ways by Chandler, who was writing from the '30’s to the '50’s I also just read “The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe” about a month ago and I think I recall a passage where Lucy did indeed go around the house making love to people, in that case, playing at being an older girl with her suitors. –Cliffy ---
**Author:** ![CalMeacham](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/calmeacham/32/35_2.png) [@CalMeacham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CalMeacham)\ **Post date:** [March 9, 2004, 11:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/he-must-be-laid-book-passages-that-have-not-aged-well/226970/57 "2004-03-09T23:39:44Z")
Boy, this many posts and no one has mentioned Emily Dickinson’s poem with the line about “…the tiger’s mighty balls…” (Eyeballs, that is), or the poet (Browning? Shelly?) who wrote about “nun’s twats”, thinking that the term meant their headgear (the real term is “wimple”). Conan the Barbarian, inn Robert E. Howard’s stories, is constantly _ejaculating_. Crom! ---
**Author:** ![Alto](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/c67d28/32.png) [@Alto](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Alto)\ **Post date:** [March 10, 2004, 12:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/he-must-be-laid-book-passages-that-have-not-aged-well/226970/58 "2004-03-10T00:01:01Z")
> [@CalMeacham](#): > > Boy, this many posts and no one has mentioned Emily Dickinson’s poem with the line about “…the tiger’s mighty balls…” (Eyeballs, that is), or the poet (Browning? Shelly?) who wrote about “nun’s twats”, thinking that the term meant their headgear (the real term is “wimple”). > Conan the Barbarian, inn Robert E. Howard’s stories, is constantly _ejaculating_. > Crom! In “Pippa Passes” Browning writes: Then, owls and bats, cowls and twats, Monks and nuns, in a cloister’s moods, Adjourn to the oak-stump pantry! I’ve read that some dictionaries, out of deference to the poor poet, include as a definition of twat “an unspecified article of nun’s clothing” but I’ve never seen this. I once saw, in a discussion of this sort, a passage from a Victorian novel describing a man whose job it was to pump the bellows of the church organ. He fell in love the organist, and apparently there was a passage something like: “When she touched his organ, even that neglected instrument became a source of pleasure again.” I’ll see if I can find it. ---
**Author:** ![Eureka](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/74df32/32.png) [@Eureka](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eureka)\ **Post date:** [March 10, 2004, 1:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/he-must-be-laid-book-passages-that-have-not-aged-well/226970/59 "2004-03-10T01:50:40Z")
A little different than most of these mentioned, but still kind of funny. While home for Christmas, I was looking through my mother’s Betty Crocker Hostess Cookbook circa 1965. In the front it had some guidelines for hostesses, including a discussion of how you should provide ashtrays on every level surface of the house plenty of matches and perhaps even a selection of cigarettes if you were so inclined. Forty years later, we hosted an open house, no ashtrays, matches or cigarettes. If anyone invited smokes, I don’t know it; but if someone does, I am sure that he or she would have stepped outside and away from the front door so as not to disturb anyone without even being asked. ---
**Author:** ![tracer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tracer/32/20578_2.png) [@tracer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tracer)\ **Post date:** [March 10, 2004, 3:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/he-must-be-laid-book-passages-that-have-not-aged-well/226970/60 "2004-03-10T03:17:42Z")
But did your Betty Crocker Hostess Cookbook refer to the cigarettes as “fags”? [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/he-must-be-laid-book-passages-that-have-not-aged-well/226970.md?page=2)