# He says the peacock was a vampire **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [July 1, 2007, 10:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/he-says-the-peacock-was-a-vampire/410165 "2007-07-01T22:12:37Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![E-Sabbath](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/e19adc/32.png) [@E-Sabbath](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/E-Sabbath)\ **Post date:** [July 3, 2007, 10:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/he-says-the-peacock-was-a-vampire/410165/61 "2007-07-03T22:57:35Z")
They’ve gone to snuff the rooster, oh, yeah. ---
**Author:** ![Terrifel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/c68b51/32.png) [@Terrifel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Terrifel)\ **Post date:** [July 4, 2007, 12:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/he-says-the-peacock-was-a-vampire/410165/62 "2007-07-04T00:25:08Z")
I wonder if that rooster was a male or female. The article didn’t specify. First vampire peacocks, now cemetery chickens? Truly, Staten Island is interesting in ways I’d never imagined. “Oh, it was a lovely ceremony, don’t you know. Father Dougherty gave a wonderful eulogy, plus we got some adorable pictures of Squiggles the Goose.” I like the way that three contributors are credited for that article, so we can be reasonably assured that all notable attacks on Staten Island domestic fowl in recent history have been documented. I confess, I wouldn’t have expected such attacks to be so frequent as to warrant a list, so kudos to the Staten Island Advance for their journalistic vigilance in this regard. I also note that Moravian Cemetery was founded in 1740, which probably explains the origin of the traditional New England cemetery chickens. That’s one of the first things I noticed when I moved to Florida; no cemetery chickens. They have pelicans here instead. I’m telling you, it’s weird. ---
**Author:** ![Tuckerfan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/eada6e/32.png) [@Tuckerfan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tuckerfan)\ **Post date:** [July 4, 2007, 12:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/he-says-the-peacock-was-a-vampire/410165/63 "2007-07-04T00:33:44Z")
[QUOTE=Bryan Ekers] He beat, ah say, he beat muh tail feathers off! [/QUOTE] Fortunately, ah always keep muh feathers numbered for just such an emergency. ---
**Author:** ![Wile\_E](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/c37758/32.png) [@Wile\_E](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wile_E)\ **Post date:** [July 4, 2007, 2:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/he-says-the-peacock-was-a-vampire/410165/64 "2007-07-04T02:21:08Z")
I didn’t get to see the whole story on the rooster, so was it a vampire or maybe a zombie since it was in a cemetary? Is New York overrun with undead avians? I bet it started when Cats finally ended its run. By the way, there’s a New Dorp? Is there also an Old Dorp? ---
**Author:** ![Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bosda_di_chi_of_tricor/32/16845_2.png) [@Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bosda_Di_Chi_of_Tricor)\ **Post date:** [July 4, 2007, 11:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/he-says-the-peacock-was-a-vampire/410165/65 "2007-07-04T11:06:36Z")
[QUOTE=Terrifel] I wonder if that rooster was a male or female. The article didn’t specify. [/QUOTE] You don’t know the difference between a rooster & a hen? \ ---
**Author:** ![SnakesCatLady](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/4af34b/32.png) [@SnakesCatLady](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SnakesCatLady)\ **Post date:** [July 4, 2007, 11:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/he-says-the-peacock-was-a-vampire/410165/66 "2007-07-04T11:56:03Z")
[QUOTE=Bosda Di’Chi of Tricor] You don’t know the difference between a rooster & a hen? \ [/QUOTE] Oh, so now we’ve progressed to abusing fish? For shame! ---
**Author:** ![Stratocaster](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/stratocaster/32/16393_2.png) [@Stratocaster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Stratocaster)\ **Post date:** [July 4, 2007, 12:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/he-says-the-peacock-was-a-vampire/410165/67 "2007-07-04T12:05:45Z")
That fish was a zombie. He was asking for it. ---
**Author:** ![Terrifel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/c68b51/32.png) [@Terrifel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Terrifel)\ **Post date:** [July 4, 2007, 12:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/he-says-the-peacock-was-a-vampire/410165/68 "2007-07-04T12:21:24Z")
[QUOTE=Bosda Di’Chi of Tricor] You don’t know the difference between a rooster & a hen? \ [/QUOTE] AAAUGH!!! JOKE! It was-- but! The-- thing! Post 17! I was… it was a JOKE, I was just making fun of the original article, back in Post 17, with the male peacock, and it was only a joke and I’m sorry, and don’t hit me anymore because it was a joke and I’m not a vampire and stop hitting me!!! ---
**Author:** ![Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bosda_di_chi_of_tricor/32/16845_2.png) [@Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bosda_Di_Chi_of_Tricor)\ **Post date:** [July 4, 2007, 2:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/he-says-the-peacock-was-a-vampire/410165/69 "2007-07-04T14:16:40Z")
[QUOTE=Terrifel] AAAUGH!!! JOKE! It was-- but! The-- thing! Post 17! I was… it was a JOKE, I was just making fun of the original article, back in Post 17, with the male peacock, and it was only a joke and I’m sorry, and don’t hit me anymore because it was a joke and I’m not a vampire and stop hitting me!!! [/QUOTE] If you’re **not** a vampire chicken, why do you catch fire every time you enter a church? :dubious: ---
**Author:** ![Stratocaster](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/stratocaster/32/16393_2.png) [@Stratocaster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Stratocaster)\ **Post date:** [July 4, 2007, 2:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/he-says-the-peacock-was-a-vampire/410165/70 "2007-07-04T14:32:02Z")
[QUOTE=Bosda Di’Chi of Tricor] If you’re **not** a vampire chicken, why do you catch fire every time you enter a church? :dubious: [/QUOTE] Could be a superhero chicken, you know, like the Fantastic Four guy. Maybe it’s just religious ecstasy? Know what? Better safe then sorry–just kill him. ---
**Author:** ![Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bosda_di_chi_of_tricor/32/16845_2.png) [@Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bosda_Di_Chi_of_Tricor)\ **Post date:** [July 4, 2007, 2:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/he-says-the-peacock-was-a-vampire/410165/71 "2007-07-04T14:40:29Z")
[QUOTE=Stratocaster] Could be a superhero chicken, you know, like the Fantastic Four guy. Maybe it’s just religious ecstasy? Know what? Better safe then sorry–just kill him. [/QUOTE] You know, if we could figure out the Colonel’s 7 Secret Spices, & shove **Terrifel** into a cathedral, the problem could be solved to our advantage. ---
**Author:** ![Tuckerfan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/eada6e/32.png) [@Tuckerfan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tuckerfan)\ **Post date:** [July 4, 2007, 2:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/he-says-the-peacock-was-a-vampire/410165/72 "2007-07-04T14:43:43Z")
[QUOTE=Bosda Di’Chi of Tricor] You know, if we could figure out the Colonel’s 7 Secret Spices, & shove **Terrifel** into a cathedral, the problem could be solved to our advantage. [/QUOTE] There’s part of your poblem: It’s **eleven**! ---
**Author:** ![Terrifel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/c68b51/32.png) [@Terrifel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Terrifel)\ **Post date:** [July 4, 2007, 2:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/he-says-the-peacock-was-a-vampire/410165/73 "2007-07-04T14:44:40Z")
Vampire _peacock,_ not chicken! A vampire _chicken_ would just be ridiculous. Although self-roasting chicken does sound intriguing. Maybe that’s how the Church’s Chicken franchise got started? And for your information, I only ever burst into flame in church that ONE time, and it was by accident. I was trying to light a votive candle for my grandmother… who was killed by a _vampire peacock!_ You try keeping a steady hand after a trauma of that magnitude. It was a deeply touching funeral though. There were fresh eggs and everything. no bad hurty fish mommy ---
**Author:** ![Stratocaster](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/stratocaster/32/16393_2.png) [@Stratocaster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Stratocaster)\ **Post date:** [July 4, 2007, 2:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/he-says-the-peacock-was-a-vampire/410165/74 "2007-07-04T14:48:36Z")
[QUOTE=Bosda Di’Chi of Tricor] You know, if we could figure out the Colonel’s 7 Secret Spices, & shove **Terrifel** into a cathedral, the problem could be solved to our advantage. [/QUOTE] Now you’re thinking. ---
**Author:** ![Terrifel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/c68b51/32.png) [@Terrifel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Terrifel)\ **Post date:** [July 4, 2007, 2:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/he-says-the-peacock-was-a-vampire/410165/75 "2007-07-04T14:51:24Z")
Eat me. ---
**Author:** ![Stratocaster](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/stratocaster/32/16393_2.png) [@Stratocaster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Stratocaster)\ **Post date:** [July 4, 2007, 3:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/he-says-the-peacock-was-a-vampire/410165/76 "2007-07-04T15:45:18Z")
[QUOTE=Terrifel] Eat me. [/QUOTE] Um, yeah. Isn’t that implicit? Sheesh. ---
**Author:** ![garygnu](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/garygnu/32/2924_2.png) [@garygnu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/garygnu)\ **Post date:** [July 4, 2007, 4:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/he-says-the-peacock-was-a-vampire/410165/77 "2007-07-04T16:54:06Z")
[Eileen Brennan](http://movieactors.com/characters/brennan2.htm) as a vampire? Now we know his defense: “I had to stop her from screaming.” ---
**Author:** ![Half\_Man\_Half\_Wit](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/half_man_half_wit/32/21766_2.png) [@Half\_Man\_Half\_Wit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Half_Man_Half_Wit)\ **Post date:** [July 4, 2007, 5:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/he-says-the-peacock-was-a-vampire/410165/78 "2007-07-04T17:20:15Z")
If vampires ordinarily transform into bats, maybe he thought that one was just flamboyantly gay? And if so, would that make it a hate crime? ---
**Author:** ![Count\_Blucher](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/c5a1d2/32.png) [@Count\_Blucher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Count_Blucher)\ **Post date:** [July 4, 2007, 5:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/he-says-the-peacock-was-a-vampire/410165/79 "2007-07-04T17:22:10Z")
[QUOTE=Terrifel] Vampire _peacock,_ not chicken! A vampire _chicken_ would just be ridiculous. [/QUOTE] Psycho Chicken…? Qu’est-ce que c’est? ---
**Author:** ![Tuckerfan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/eada6e/32.png) [@Tuckerfan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tuckerfan)\ **Post date:** [July 4, 2007, 5:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/he-says-the-peacock-was-a-vampire/410165/80 "2007-07-04T17:59:59Z")
[QUOTE=Count Blucher] Psycho Chicken…? Qu’est-ce que c’est? [/QUOTE] Better run, run, run away! [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/he-says-the-peacock-was-a-vampire/410165.md?page=3) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/he-says-the-peacock-was-a-vampire/410165.md?page=5)