# "He spelled 'Yale' with a 6."   "I'm not made of Airports"

**URL:** <https://boards.straightdope.com/t/he-spelled-yale-with-a-6-im-not-made-of-airports/466561>\
**Category:** Cafe Society\
**Created:** [October 5, 2008, 3:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/he-spelled-yale-with-a-6-im-not-made-of-airports/466561 "2008-10-05T15:46:56Z")\
**Posts on this page:** 3\
**Page:** 12

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**Author:** ![Drunky\_Smurf](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/drunky_smurf/32/449_2.png) [@Drunky\_Smurf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Drunky_Smurf)\
**Post date:** [October 16, 2008, 8:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/he-spelled-yale-with-a-6-im-not-made-of-airports/466561/221 "2008-10-16T20:41:37Z")

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\*\*Grandpa:\*\*They used to call me Grifty McGriff. I wrote the book on Flim-Flammin.

**Grandpa:** Call me mint jelly cuz I’m on the lamb.

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**Author:** ![Cliffy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/59ef9b/32.png) [@Cliffy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cliffy)\
**Post date:** [October 16, 2008, 9:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/he-spelled-yale-with-a-6-im-not-made-of-airports/466561/222 "2008-10-16T21:13:05Z")

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From memory, so it might be off a bit:

Mr. Burns: If it’s a crime to love one’s county, then I’m guilty. And if it’s a crime to steal a trillion dollars, then I’m guilty of that too. And if it’s a crime to bribe a jury, then so help me, I’ll soon be guilty of that too!

–Cliffy

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**Author:** ![robardin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/43a26b/32.png) [@robardin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/robardin)\
**Post date:** [October 16, 2008, 9:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/he-spelled-yale-with-a-6-im-not-made-of-airports/466561/223 "2008-10-16T21:49:58Z")

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Ah, the quotable Mr. Burns.

“This anonymous clan of slack-jawed troglodytes just cost me the election! Yet if I were to have them killed, _I_ would be the one to go to jail! That’s _democracy_ for you.”

"Smithers, now that I’m the town’s oldest man… I’m starting to realize I’m not a young man anymore. "

(After The Ramones end a performance of “Happy Birthday” by telling him to drop dead):  
“Smithers, have the Rolling Stones killed.”  
“But sir, those --”  
“Do as I say!!”

“Whoa, whoa, slow down! There’s a _New_ Mexico?”

(On handing Homer a rookie baseball card of Joe DiMaggio):  
“Apparently they’re allowing _ethnics_ in the Big Leagues now.”

(In response to Mexican non-union bio-pic filmmaker Señor Spielbergo’s objection that “_Pero Schindler es muy bueno… Señor Burns es El Diablo_”):  
“Schindler and I were like two peas in a pod! We both owned factories… We both sold arms to the Nazis… But mine _worked_, dammit!”

“I’ll have my lunch now: a single pillow of shredded wheat, some steamed toast and a Dodo’s egg… And rotate my office so it the window faces the hills!”

“Compadres! It is imperative that we crush the freedom fighters before the start of the rainy season. And remember: a shiny new donkey for whoever brings me the head of Colonel Montoya! _(Smithers whispers in his hear)_ …Uh, by which of course I mean, it’s time for our Worker of the Week award!”

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