# "He spelled 'Yale' with a 6." "I'm not made of Airports" **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [October 5, 2008, 3:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/he-spelled-yale-with-a-6-im-not-made-of-airports/466561 "2008-10-05T15:46:56Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 5
**Author:** ![KneadToKnow](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kneadtoknow/32/3999_2.png) [@KneadToKnow](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/KneadToKnow)\ **Post date:** [October 6, 2008, 5:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/he-spelled-yale-with-a-6-im-not-made-of-airports/466561/81 "2008-10-06T17:23:54Z")
“They looked deep into my soul and assigned me a number based on the order in which I joined.” ---
**Author:** ![Snowboarder\_Bo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/snowboarder_bo/32/229_2.png) [@Snowboarder\_Bo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Snowboarder_Bo)\ **Post date:** [October 6, 2008, 5:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/he-spelled-yale-with-a-6-im-not-made-of-airports/466561/82 "2008-10-06T17:39:02Z")
“Or What? You’ll Release the Dogs? or the Bees? or the Dogs with Bees in Their Mouths so When They Bark They Shoot Bees at You?” ---
**Author:** ![Hazle\_Weatherfield](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/e9bcb4/32.png) [@Hazle\_Weatherfield](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hazle_Weatherfield)\ **Post date:** [October 6, 2008, 5:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/he-spelled-yale-with-a-6-im-not-made-of-airports/466561/83 "2008-10-06T17:40:11Z")
HAH hah…you’re nocturnal! Hey, Simpson…tell your mother her cookies suck…HAH hah! ---
**Author:** ![msmith537](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d9b06d/32.png) [@msmith537](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/msmith537)\ **Post date:** [October 6, 2008, 5:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/he-spelled-yale-with-a-6-im-not-made-of-airports/466561/84 "2008-10-06T17:43:53Z")
Lionell Hutz: “Marge…there’s the truth:(…and then there’s THE TRUTH!!:D” Lionell Hutz: “Let me let you in on a little secret…the ‘right house’ is the one that’s for sale. And the ‘right buyer’ is pretty much anyone.” Mr Burns: “I’m going to write a number on this piece of paper. It’s not as generous as what you are asking, but I think it’s fair [writes ‘0’]” Lionell Hutz: “I think we should take it.” Lionell Hutz: “I accidently ran over his dog…and by ‘accidently’ I mean ‘repeatedly’ and by ‘dog’ I mean ‘son’.” Snake: “Dude!! Screw the honor system!!” Snake: “Woah!! This is SOOOO dangerous!!” Snake: “I’ll be back on the street in 24 hours!” Wiggum: “We’ll try and make it 12.” Wiggum: “Good work Lou, you’ll make Sergeant for this.” Lou: “But Chief, I’m already Sergeant.” Wiggum: “Quiet Lou! Or I’ll bust your ass down to Sergeant so fast your head will swim!” Itchy & Skratchyland Pilot: “Hello folks and welcome to Itchy & Skratchyland where nothing can possibly [pronounced “I”] go wrong…er…that’s ‘possibly’…well…that’s the first thing that ever went wrong…” ---
**Author:** ![Mister\_Rik](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mister_rik/32/491_2.png) [@Mister\_Rik](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mister_Rik)\ **Post date:** [October 6, 2008, 5:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/he-spelled-yale-with-a-6-im-not-made-of-airports/466561/85 "2008-10-06T17:45:02Z")
Homer at the Post Office, attempting to retrieve the nasty letter he wrote to his boss: Homer: "Hello, my name is Mr. Burns. I believe you have a letter for me. Postal Clerk: “Sure thing, Mr. Burns. What’s the first name?” Homer: “… I don’t know.” ---
**Author:** ![KneadToKnow](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kneadtoknow/32/3999_2.png) [@KneadToKnow](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/KneadToKnow)\ **Post date:** [October 6, 2008, 5:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/he-spelled-yale-with-a-6-im-not-made-of-airports/466561/86 "2008-10-06T17:58:15Z")
So, Mr. Nahasapeemapetilon, if that _is_ your real name… ---
**Author:** ![Duke](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e8c25b/32.png) [@Duke](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Duke)\ **Post date:** [October 6, 2008, 6:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/he-spelled-yale-with-a-6-im-not-made-of-airports/466561/87 "2008-10-06T18:00:56Z")
Homer: I shouldn’t have eaten that packet of instant gravy I found in the parking lot. ---
**Author:** ![2\_Fat\_Cattle](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/2/838e76/32.png) [@2\_Fat\_Cattle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/2_Fat_Cattle)\ **Post date:** [October 6, 2008, 6:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/he-spelled-yale-with-a-6-im-not-made-of-airports/466561/88 "2008-10-06T18:03:29Z")
Homer: “You can’t go wrong with cocktail weenies! They taste as good as they look, and they come with this delicious red sauce. It looks like ketchup. It tastes like ketchup. But brother, it ain’t ketchup!” ---
**Author:** ![hotflungwok](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/edb3f5/32.png) [@hotflungwok](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/hotflungwok)\ **Post date:** [October 6, 2008, 6:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/he-spelled-yale-with-a-6-im-not-made-of-airports/466561/89 "2008-10-06T18:06:46Z")
Cop: Do you hold a grudge against Montgomery Burns? Moe: No. _buzz_ Moe: All right, maybe I did. But I didn’t shoot him. _ding_ Cop: Checks out. Okay, sir. You’re free to go. Moe: Good, 'cause I got a hot date tonight. _buzz_ Moe: A date. _buzz_ Moe: Dinner with friends. _buzz_ Moe: Dinner alone. _buzz_ Moe: Watching TV alone. _buzz_ Moe: All right! I’m going to sit at home and ogle the ladies in the Victoria’s Secret catalog. _buzz_ Moe: Sears catalog. _buzz_ Moe: Now would you unhook this already, please? I don’t deserve this kind of shabby treatment. _buzz_ ---
**Author:** ![Marley23](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Marley23](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Marley23)\ **Post date:** [October 6, 2008, 6:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/he-spelled-yale-with-a-6-im-not-made-of-airports/466561/90 "2008-10-06T18:54:02Z")
It actually dings ‘yes’ after he gives up, defeated, and says “Sears catalog.” “I’m better than dirt. Well, most kinds of dirt. I mean, not that fancy store bought dirt. That stuff’s loaded with nutrients.” -Moe ---
**Author:** ![msmith537](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d9b06d/32.png) [@msmith537](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/msmith537)\ **Post date:** [October 6, 2008, 7:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/he-spelled-yale-with-a-6-im-not-made-of-airports/466561/91 "2008-10-06T19:30:40Z")
Mr. Burns: “Well, if it’s a crime to love one’s country, then I guess I’m guilty as charged. And, if it’s a crime to steal a trillion dollars and hand it over to communist Cuba, then I guess I’m guilty of that, too. And, if it’s a crime to bribe a jury, God help me, I’ll soon be guilty of that as well!” Agent [to Homer strapped into a lie detector]: “Do you understand, Mr Simpson?” Homer: “Yeees…” [Machine explodes] ---
**Author:** ![mobo85](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/b19c9b/32.png) [@mobo85](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mobo85)\ **Post date:** [October 6, 2008, 7:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/he-spelled-yale-with-a-6-im-not-made-of-airports/466561/92 "2008-10-06T19:54:06Z")
“My son is not a communist! He may be a liar, a bigot, a communist, but he is _not_ a porn star!” “Oh, I know this story! The year is 1906, the president is the divine miss Sandra Bernhardt, and all over America, people are doing a dance called the Funky Grampa!” “Oh, we can’t bust heads like we used to, but we have our ways. One trick is to tell 'em stories that don’t go anywhere. Like the time I caught the ferry over to Shelbyville. I needed a new heel for my shoe…so, I decided to go to Morganville, which is what they called Shelbyville in those days. So I tied an onion to my belt, which was the style at the time. Now, to take the ferry cost a nickel, and in those days, nickels had pictures of bumblebees on 'em. ‘Gimme five bees for a quarter’, you’d say. Now where were we? Oh, yeah. The important thing was…that I had an onion on my belt, which was the style at the time. They didn’t have white onions, because of the war- the only thing you could get was those big yellow ones…” ---
**Author:** ![Arglefraster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/3bc359/32.png) [@Arglefraster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Arglefraster)\ **Post date:** [October 6, 2008, 7:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/he-spelled-yale-with-a-6-im-not-made-of-airports/466561/93 "2008-10-06T19:56:52Z")
**Old Asian Dude** : Take this object, but beware it carries a terrible curse! **Homer** : That’s bad. **OAD** : But it comes with a free frogurt! **Homer** : That’s good! **OAD** : The frogurt is also cursed. **Homer** : That’s bad. **OAD** : But you get your choice of toppings! **Homer** : That’s good! **OAD** : The topping is made of potassium benzoate. **Homer** : _blank stare_ **OAD** : That’s bad. ---
**Author:** ![Antinor01](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecae2f/32.png) [@Antinor01](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Antinor01)\ **Post date:** [October 6, 2008, 8:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/he-spelled-yale-with-a-6-im-not-made-of-airports/466561/94 "2008-10-06T20:22:55Z")
“I like my TV loud, my beer cold and my homosexuals Fa-LLLAMMING.” “Well, if it isn’t Lisa Simpson. Springfields answer to the question nobody asked.” ---
**Author:** ![Lord\_Ashtar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7ea924/32.png) [@Lord\_Ashtar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lord_Ashtar)\ **Post date:** [October 6, 2008, 8:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/he-spelled-yale-with-a-6-im-not-made-of-airports/466561/95 "2008-10-06T20:37:16Z")
**Younger Grampa** : I used to be with it. But then they changed what it was. Now what I’m with isn’t it, and what’s it seems weird and scary to me. I’m going to use this one all the time when I get old. ---
**Author:** ![sqweels](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/f19dbf/32.png) [@sqweels](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sqweels)\ **Post date:** [October 6, 2008, 8:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/he-spelled-yale-with-a-6-im-not-made-of-airports/466561/96 "2008-10-06T20:49:59Z")
Sign on Homer’s vacant work station: “Gone Drinkin’”. ---
**Author:** ![Tristan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tristan/32/18058_2.png) [@Tristan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tristan)\ **Post date:** [October 6, 2008, 9:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/he-spelled-yale-with-a-6-im-not-made-of-airports/466561/97 "2008-10-06T21:33:53Z")
“I’ll get you Beer Baron!” _"No you won’t!_ ---
**Author:** ![BrainGlutton](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/82dd89/32.png) [@BrainGlutton](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrainGlutton)\ **Post date:** [October 6, 2008, 9:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/he-spelled-yale-with-a-6-im-not-made-of-airports/466561/98 "2008-10-06T21:48:01Z")
HOMER: I’ll never show my naked butt in public again! LISA: _sigh_ I wish I could believe you this time, Dad, I really do. HEADLINE: NEIGHBORHOOD WATCH ASLEEP AT THE SWITCH HOMER: I was not asleep! I was drunk! BART: **I** believe you, Dad! ---
**Author:** ![Duke](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e8c25b/32.png) [@Duke](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Duke)\ **Post date:** [October 6, 2008, 11:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/he-spelled-yale-with-a-6-im-not-made-of-airports/466561/99 "2008-10-06T23:30:41Z")
Homer: Shut up, liver! _oof_ ---
**Author:** ![interface2x](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/c0e974/32.png) [@interface2x](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/interface2x)\ **Post date:** [October 6, 2008, 11:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/he-spelled-yale-with-a-6-im-not-made-of-airports/466561/100 "2008-10-06T23:34:45Z")
Hutz: All right gentleman. I will take your case. But I will require a thousand dollar retainer. Bart: A thousand dollars. But your ad says “no money down”. Hutz: Oh, they got this all screwed up. [Writes on the ad to change “Works On Contingency. No Money Down” to “Works On Contingency? No! Money Down!”] Bart: So you don’t work on a contingency basis? Hutz: No! Money down! [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/he-spelled-yale-with-a-6-im-not-made-of-airports/466561.md?page=4) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/he-spelled-yale-with-a-6-im-not-made-of-airports/466561.md?page=6)