# "He spelled 'Yale' with a 6." "I'm not made of Airports" **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [October 5, 2008, 3:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/he-spelled-yale-with-a-6-im-not-made-of-airports/466561 "2008-10-05T15:46:56Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 7
**Author:** ![Dosipede](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ad7895/32.png) [@Dosipede](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dosipede)\ **Post date:** [October 7, 2008, 3:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/he-spelled-yale-with-a-6-im-not-made-of-airports/466561/121 "2008-10-07T15:49:05Z")
Dental plan! Lisa needs braces! Dental plan! Lisa needs braces! Dental plan! Lisa needs braces! Dental plan! Lisa needs braces! BULLSEYE! Ha-ha-ha! Thanks a lot guys, you made me lose my train of thought. …Dental plan! ---
**Author:** ![Lochdale](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/edb3f5/32.png) [@Lochdale](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lochdale)\ **Post date:** [October 7, 2008, 3:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/he-spelled-yale-with-a-6-im-not-made-of-airports/466561/122 "2008-10-07T15:49:59Z")
Anything by Burns really: “Ever since the dawn of time Man has yearned to destroy the Sun!” ---
**Author:** ![Svejk\_1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ea666f/32.png) [@Svejk\_1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Svejk_1)\ **Post date:** [October 7, 2008, 4:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/he-spelled-yale-with-a-6-im-not-made-of-airports/466561/123 "2008-10-07T16:13:29Z")
Burns: Eat on… Eat on. Little do you know you’re drawing ever closer to the poisoned donut! … There is a poisoned donut, isn’t there, Smithers? Smithers: No, sir, I discussed it with our lawyers and they consider it murder! Burns: Damn their oily hides! ---
**Author:** ![KneadToKnow](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kneadtoknow/32/3999_2.png) [@KneadToKnow](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/KneadToKnow)\ **Post date:** [October 7, 2008, 4:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/he-spelled-yale-with-a-6-im-not-made-of-airports/466561/124 "2008-10-07T16:16:05Z")
Hiya, Midge. ---
**Author:** ![msmith537](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d9b06d/32.png) [@msmith537](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/msmith537)\ **Post date:** [October 7, 2008, 4:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/he-spelled-yale-with-a-6-im-not-made-of-airports/466561/125 "2008-10-07T16:29:37Z")
> [@AllWalker](#): > > Number 2: I wouldn’t count on that Number Five. As far as > your family knows, Homer Simpson is walking in the > front door right about now. > Homer: [his face covered in ice cream and drugs] I’m sorry? > What? Fake Homer: Jah, please forgive my unexplained two week absence. To make it up to you we will go out to dinner at a sensibly-priced restaurant, then have a night of efficient German sex. Hank Scorpio: Homer, on your way out, if you wanna kill somebody, it would help a lot. ---
**Author:** ![RiverRunner](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/977dab/32.png) [@RiverRunner](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RiverRunner)\ **Post date:** [October 7, 2008, 6:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/he-spelled-yale-with-a-6-im-not-made-of-airports/466561/126 "2008-10-07T18:39:10Z")
> [@erislover](#): > > “Put down that science pole!” Use that at work all the time. Science pole? Explain, please. I have only seen one or two episodes of the Simpsons, but this is making me want to buy them all and watch them. Or at least as long as I can before my attention span gives out. RR ---
**Author:** ![Rysto](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/ecccb3/32.png) [@Rysto](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rysto)\ **Post date:** [October 7, 2008, 6:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/he-spelled-yale-with-a-6-im-not-made-of-airports/466561/127 "2008-10-07T18:53:06Z")
These are paraphrased from memory: Man: “So, Mr. Simpson, why do you want to become a Big Brother?” Homer’s Brain: “Don’t say revenge! Don’t say revenge!” Homer: “Uh, revenge?” Homer’s Brain: “That’s it! I’m outta here.” _sounds of somebody stomping their feet down the stairs and a door slamming_ Lisa’s Brain: “You know they’re only being nice to you because you have a pool, right?” Lisa: “Shut up, brain. I don’t need you anymore: I’m popular now” - Lisa is trapped at the bottom of a nearly empty pool \* Lisa: “What am I going to do? I have to think of a way to get myself out of here!” Lisa’s Brain: “Well, well, well. Look who comes crawling back.” ---
**Author:** ![Engineer\_Dude](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/9fc29f/32.png) [@Engineer\_Dude](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Engineer_Dude)\ **Post date:** [October 7, 2008, 7:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/he-spelled-yale-with-a-6-im-not-made-of-airports/466561/128 "2008-10-07T19:08:14Z")
Speaking of quotes from the characters’ brains: Homer: Well, time to go to work. Homer’s brain: Little do they know I’m ducking out early to take the Duff Brewery tour. Homer: Roll in at nine, punch out at five, that’s the plan. Homer’s brain: Heh, heh, heh. They don’t suspect a thing. Homer’s brain: Well, off to the plant. Homer: Then to the Duff Brewery. Homer’s brain: Uh, oh. Did I say that or just think it? Homer: [panicky] I’ve got to think of a lie fast! Marge: Homer, are you going to the Duff Brewery? Homer: Aah! [Runs off] ---
**Author:** ![KneadToKnow](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kneadtoknow/32/3999_2.png) [@KneadToKnow](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/KneadToKnow)\ **Post date:** [October 7, 2008, 7:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/he-spelled-yale-with-a-6-im-not-made-of-airports/466561/129 "2008-10-07T19:10:05Z")
> [@RiverRunner](#): > > Science pole? Explain, please. > [@](#): > > science pole > n. a special implement for opening cages and other equally scientific tasks. From the episode “Bye Bye Nerdie” [Cite](http://www.simpsoncrazy.com/lists/dictionary.php) ---
**Author:** ![Hazle\_Weatherfield](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/e9bcb4/32.png) [@Hazle\_Weatherfield](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hazle_Weatherfield)\ **Post date:** [October 7, 2008, 8:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/he-spelled-yale-with-a-6-im-not-made-of-airports/466561/130 "2008-10-07T20:06:30Z")
What was the episode where Nelson is a bat and he does his “HAH ha!” and then flies into a torch and is incinerated. That was hilarious! ---
**Author:** ![Miller](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/miller/32/481_2.png) [@Miller](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Miller)\ **Post date:** [October 7, 2008, 9:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/he-spelled-yale-with-a-6-im-not-made-of-airports/466561/131 "2008-10-07T21:00:09Z")
Homer: Hey… wait a minute… this lesbian bar doesn’t have a fire exit! Enjoy your death trap, ladies! Lesbian: What’s her problem? Bart: Careful! That’s a load-bearing poster! Germans: We come from Germany, the land of chocolate. Homer: Mmmm… Land of chocolate _\_ Germans: Mr. Simpson, are you listening? Homer: Yes! We were talking about chocolate. Germans: That was five minutes ago! Guru: You may ask me three questions. Homer: Do you really know everything? Guru: Yes. Homer: Really? Guru: Yes. Homer: _Really_ really? Guru: Yes. Thank you, please come again. Willie: Lunchlady Doris! Do ye have any grease? Doris: Yes. Yes I do. Willie: _\_ Well, grease me up, woman! Doris: Okay. Lisa: The asteroid burned up in the thick layer of pollution over Springfield. Do you realize what this means? Bart: Yeah, dad was right about something! Homer: I know, kids. I’m scared, too. _\_ Homer, narrating: It was the thirteenth hour, of the thriteenth day, of the thirteenth month. We were meeting to discuss the misprintings in the school calendar. Homer, in flashback: Lousy Smarch weather! ---
**Author:** ![laughingboy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/9f8e36/32.png) [@laughingboy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/laughingboy)\ **Post date:** [October 7, 2008, 10:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/he-spelled-yale-with-a-6-im-not-made-of-airports/466561/132 "2008-10-07T22:03:27Z")
Homer: Kids, you tried your best, and you failed miserably. The lesson is: never try. ---
**Author:** ![bathsheba](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/9e8a1a/32.png) [@bathsheba](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bathsheba)\ **Post date:** [October 7, 2008, 11:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/he-spelled-yale-with-a-6-im-not-made-of-airports/466561/133 "2008-10-07T23:33:33Z")
Homer: I like TV because it laughs with me, not at me TV: Bwahahahahahaha! Homer: D’Oh ---
**Author:** ![Larry\_Borgia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/larry_borgia/32/156_2.png) [@Larry\_Borgia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Larry_Borgia)\ **Post date:** [October 7, 2008, 11:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/he-spelled-yale-with-a-6-im-not-made-of-airports/466561/134 "2008-10-07T23:54:27Z")
More from the Germans: “We regret to announce the following layoffs, which we shall read in alphabetical order: Simpson, Homer. That is all.” ---
**Author:** ![Mr.Kobayashi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/4af34b/32.png) [@Mr.Kobayashi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr.Kobayashi)\ **Post date:** [October 8, 2008, 12:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/he-spelled-yale-with-a-6-im-not-made-of-airports/466561/135 "2008-10-08T00:09:02Z")
Oh, pick anything by Hutz, Grampa or Burns. Mr Burns (to Bart): I know you children think of me as some sort of “booger man”, but I’m not really a bad “dude”. From Who Shot Mr. Burns: Ahoy, there, Dean. I understand you’re taking suggestions from students. Well, me and my fourth form chums think it would be quite “corking” if you’d sign over your oil well to the local energy concern! Grampa’s various past-related tales of insanity; From the Flying Hellfish; Grampa: I got separated from my platoon after we parachuted into Duseldorf so I rode out the rest of the war posing as a German cabaret singer. Cut to; “Won’t you come home Frantbrelda, won’t you come home.” Hitler: Yoo-hoo! _Lowers shoulder strap, cousing a sponge to fall out_. Hitler: Das ist nitch eine booby! Bart: Is that story true Grampa? Grampa: Most of it. I did wear a dress for a period in the 40s. Oh, they had designers then! Hutz: Mrs Simpson, your sexual harassment case is just what I need to rebuild my shattered career! Care to join me in a belt of Scotch? Marge: But it’s 9:30 in the morning! Hutz: Yes, but I haven’t slept in days. Hutz: Homer, I don’t use the word “hero” very often, but you are the greatest hero in American history. Homer: Woo hoo! ---
**Author:** ![msmith537](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d9b06d/32.png) [@msmith537](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/msmith537)\ **Post date:** [October 8, 2008, 12:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/he-spelled-yale-with-a-6-im-not-made-of-airports/466561/136 "2008-10-08T00:19:56Z")
Burns: Use the amnesia ray on him and then use it on yourself! Smithers: You mean the revolver sir? ---
**Author:** ![Mr.Kobayashi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/4af34b/32.png) [@Mr.Kobayashi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr.Kobayashi)\ **Post date:** [October 8, 2008, 12:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/he-spelled-yale-with-a-6-im-not-made-of-airports/466561/137 "2008-10-08T00:30:38Z")
Burns: We’ll take the Spruce Moose - hop in! Smithers: But, sir… Burns: I said _hop in._ ---
**Author:** ![lost4life](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/c4cdca/32.png) [@lost4life](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lost4life)\ **Post date:** [October 8, 2008, 12:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/he-spelled-yale-with-a-6-im-not-made-of-airports/466561/138 "2008-10-08T00:31:25Z")
Hello, my name is Mr. Snrub. ---
**Author:** ![DesertDog](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/desertdog/32/11503_2.png) [@DesertDog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DesertDog)\ **Post date:** [October 8, 2008, 3:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/he-spelled-yale-with-a-6-im-not-made-of-airports/466561/139 "2008-10-08T03:15:02Z")
Homer is buying an RV and the salesman is running a credit check, “Just as a formality.” A large red light on top of the computer starts flashing and a siren sounds. Homer: Oooh! A siren! Salesman: That’s just in case I miss the light. Homer: Is a siren good? Salesman: You ever known one that was? ---
**Author:** ![bouv](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/bc8723/32.png) [@bouv](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bouv)\ **Post date:** [October 8, 2008, 3:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/he-spelled-yale-with-a-6-im-not-made-of-airports/466561/140 "2008-10-08T03:19:41Z")
> [@Mr.Kobayashi](#): > > From Who Shot Mr. Burns: Ahoy, there, Dean. I understand you’re taking suggestions from students. Well, me and my fourth form chums think it would be quite “corking” if you’d sign over your oil well to the local energy concern! It’s “quarking,” from quarks, which is from Finnegans Wake: “Three quarks for Muster Mark! Sure he has not got much of a bark And sure any he has it’s all beside the mark” (Oh, and also particle physics.) [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/he-spelled-yale-with-a-6-im-not-made-of-airports/466561.md?page=6) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/he-spelled-yale-with-a-6-im-not-made-of-airports/466561.md?page=8)