# He Thinks \*I\* Am Not Good Enough For \*Him\*?? **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [August 16, 2009, 5:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/he-thinks-i-am-not-good-enough-for-him/506636 "2009-08-16T17:39:31Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Chessic\_Sense](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/7c8e57/32.png) [@Chessic\_Sense](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chessic_Sense)\ **Post date:** [August 17, 2009, 12:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/he-thinks-i-am-not-good-enough-for-him/506636/41 "2009-08-17T00:17:52Z")
> [@smee\_goan](#): > > Dave have a lot of ‘ink’? > > tats > > 🙂 Why did you spoiler that? I’m pretty sure everyone knows what ink is. Not being snarky, it’s just that I don’t understand the need for ‘secrecy’ or whatever. ---
**Author:** ![kittenblue](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/ba8739/32.png) [@kittenblue](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kittenblue)\ **Post date:** [August 17, 2009, 12:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/he-thinks-i-am-not-good-enough-for-him/506636/42 "2009-08-17T00:45:55Z")
I understand exactly what you are getting at, **Alice the Goon**. I have felt the same way after a couple internet dates…and I’m not that great a catch! But it’s just that sense that, “hey, a loser like this should think I’m a catch, he’s got to be an idiot if he doesn’t” even though you are not attracted and are really glad that he isn’t either! It’s not logical at all, but it’s a reall feeling none the less. So at least ONE person in this thread understands what you were getting at! However, I don’t care how bad it was raining, how strong and confident you feel, how many guns you might have, or how few danger vibes you felt…I never, ever let an internet date know where I live. Ever. Not until we’ve progressed to a second or third date. Now granted, when I was dating, I had younger children at home to protect. But even now, I would not let that information be readily accessible until I’m sure the guy isn’t a stalker-y type. ---
**Author:** ![eleanorigby](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ee7513/32.png) [@eleanorigby](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/eleanorigby)\ **Post date:** [August 17, 2009, 12:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/he-thinks-i-am-not-good-enough-for-him/506636/43 "2009-08-17T00:49:48Z")
> [@Alice\_The\_Goon](#): > > And the “say now” and “hey now” aren’t part of casual conversations as **eleanorigby** uses them- they are only used as greetings by cons. You know, as you’re standing there, clanking your tin cup along the bars, as someone walks by… “Hey now!” That’s how it was explained to me, anyway. And in this region of the country, I’ve never heard anyone use those terms as greeting besides ex-cons. (Not that I know that many, I don’t.) Well, no, they are not only used as greetings my cons, as I pointed out. What part of the country are you in? I can’t get that song out of my head now: dunno the title, but part of it goes, “Hey now, hey now…Don’t dream it’s over/Hey now, hey now…” It’s by Crowded House. Adding the prison subtext makes the song nonsensical but more profound, I suppose. ---
**Author:** ![Tom\_Tildrum](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/e95f7d/32.png) [@Tom\_Tildrum](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tom_Tildrum)\ **Post date:** [August 17, 2009, 12:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/he-thinks-i-am-not-good-enough-for-him/506636/44 "2009-08-17T00:54:42Z")
> [@Alice\_The\_Goon](#): > > I’m a slender … woman. There’s the problem. Your skin was the wrong size. ---
**Author:** ![Alice\_The\_Goon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ed8c4c/32.png) [@Alice\_The\_Goon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Alice_The_Goon)\ **Post date:** [August 17, 2009, 1:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/he-thinks-i-am-not-good-enough-for-him/506636/45 "2009-08-17T01:10:48Z")
> [@kittenblue](#): > > I understand exactly what you are getting at, **Alice the Goon**. I have felt the same way after a couple internet dates…and I’m not that great a catch! But it’s just that sense that, “hey, a loser like this should think I’m a catch, he’s got to be an idiot if he doesn’t” even though you are not attracted and are really glad that he isn’t either! It’s not logical at all, but it’s a reall feeling none the less. So at least ONE person in this thread understands what you were getting at! > > However, I don’t care how bad it was raining, how strong and confident you feel, how many guns you might have, or how few danger vibes you felt…I never, ever let an internet date know where I live. Ever. Not until we’ve progressed to a second or third date. Now granted, when I was dating, I had younger children at home to protect. But even now, I would not let that information be readily accessible until I’m sure the guy isn’t a stalker-y type. Thanks for knowing how I felt! And yeah, you’re right- I shouldn’t invite people I don’t know to my house. And I live in the Southwest. ---
**Author:** ![threemae](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/5f9b8f/32.png) [@threemae](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/threemae)\ **Post date:** [August 17, 2009, 1:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/he-thinks-i-am-not-good-enough-for-him/506636/46 "2009-08-17T01:19:33Z")
Maybe he just isn’t into nice girls. ---
**Author:** ![Lucky\_13](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lucky_13/32/13209_2.png) [@Lucky\_13](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lucky_13)\ **Post date:** [August 17, 2009, 3:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/he-thinks-i-am-not-good-enough-for-him/506636/47 "2009-08-17T03:16:24Z")
> [@eleanorigby](#): > > I can’t get that song out of my head now: dunno the title, but part of it goes, “Hey now, hey now…Don’t dream it’s over/Hey now, hey now…” It’s by Crowded House. The one I have in my head is “All-Star” by Smash Mouth: “Hey now, you’re an all-star, get your game on…” ---
**Author:** ![apollonia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/2bfe46/32.png) [@apollonia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/apollonia)\ **Post date:** [August 17, 2009, 3:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/he-thinks-i-am-not-good-enough-for-him/506636/48 "2009-08-17T03:44:59Z")
> [@Jamicat](#): > > or rather 130 :eek: > > [http://www.wimp.com/womancats/](http://www.wimp.com/womancats/) > > they are like an ocean of feline frothing at the door…lol Dear sweet Lord in heaven. ---
**Author:** ![dada2fish](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ccd318/32.png) [@dada2fish](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dada2fish)\ **Post date:** [August 17, 2009, 3:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/he-thinks-i-am-not-good-enough-for-him/506636/49 "2009-08-17T03:46:17Z")
I just asked an ex con friend of mine who served 20 years in the joint about the “Hey now.” and “Say now.” greetings and he’s never heard anyone say those greetings in prison ever. Also, for the record, he has no ink, nor is his upper body built with skinny legs. I’m not sure where these ex-con stereotypes come from, but I’ve never heard of them. ---
**Author:** ![MPB\_in\_Salt\_Lake](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c0e974/32.png) [@MPB\_in\_Salt\_Lake](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MPB_in_Salt_Lake)\ **Post date:** [August 17, 2009, 4:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/he-thinks-i-am-not-good-enough-for-him/506636/50 "2009-08-17T04:18:10Z")
> [@MissSwitac](#): > > I just asked an ex con friend of mine who served 20 years in the joint about the “Hey now.” and “Say now.” greetings and he’s never heard anyone say those greetings in prison ever. Also, for the record, he has no ink, nor is his upper body built with skinny legs. I’m not sure where these ex-con stereotypes come from, but I’ve never heard of them. Apparently, there IS no widespread stereotype of ex-cons saying “Hey Now”, as evidenced by the fact that no one here (besides Alice) has ever heard of this specific supposed trait. Alice The Goon seems to have heard it from someone, somewhere, and took it as gospel… ---
**Author:** ![bup](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/6bbea6/32.png) [@bup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bup)\ **Post date:** [August 17, 2009, 4:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/he-thinks-i-am-not-good-enough-for-him/506636/51 "2009-08-17T04:38:30Z")
> [@](#): > > His uuper body is mega-built, and his legs scrawny and spindly (another sign of prison time). Really? ---
**Author:** ![Abby\_Emma\_Sasha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/e68b1a/32.png) [@Abby\_Emma\_Sasha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Abby_Emma_Sasha)\ **Post date:** [August 17, 2009, 8:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/he-thinks-i-am-not-good-enough-for-him/506636/52 "2009-08-17T08:33:22Z")
“Hey Now” says to me he’s a Hank Kingsley clone and you want to avoid that. > **[The Larry Sanders Show (TV Series 1992–1998) ⭐ 8.5 | Comedy](https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0103466/)** > > 30m | TV-MA I wish the boards still had the linking shit. It’s way too much trouble to do it manually. ---
**Author:** ![Staggerlee](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/staggerlee/32/3134_2.png) [@Staggerlee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Staggerlee)\ **Post date:** [August 17, 2009, 10:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/he-thinks-i-am-not-good-enough-for-him/506636/53 "2009-08-17T10:26:07Z")
> [@kittenblue](#): > > I understand exactly what you are getting at, **Alice the Goon**. I have felt the same way after a couple internet dates…and I’m not that great a catch! But it’s just that sense that, “hey, a loser like this should think I’m a catch, he’s got to be an idiot if he doesn’t” even though you are not attracted and are really glad that he isn’t either! It’s not logical at all, but it’s a reall feeling none the less. So at least ONE person in this thread understands what you were getting at! So although the date has no chance with you, you’d still like the opportunity to turn them down directly? Maybe you two strong modern women aren’t as confident as you suggest. You sound like a couple of self-serving madams. Best of luck to you. ---
**Author:** ![mecaenas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/91b2a8/32.png) [@mecaenas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mecaenas)\ **Post date:** [August 17, 2009, 1:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/he-thinks-i-am-not-good-enough-for-him/506636/54 "2009-08-17T13:53:57Z")
There’s so much projecting here, I should come back for the matinee. Seriously though, he probably just didn’t feel it and that’s just the way it is. Anything else is over analysing the situation and not worth the time. I must admit that it seems to me to be quite cruel for women to want men to desire them specifically in situations where the women don’t desire the men. In fact, it sounds an awful lot like wanting to have power or a feeling of superiority over others. ---
**Author:** ![Boyo\_Jim](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/87869e/32.png) [@Boyo\_Jim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Boyo_Jim)\ **Post date:** [August 17, 2009, 2:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/he-thinks-i-am-not-good-enough-for-him/506636/55 "2009-08-17T14:05:47Z")
Say now, did you bring your gun on the first date? I gotta say, that would be a big downer for me and my libido. ---
**Author:** ![MeanOldLady](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/meanoldlady/32/10737_2.png) [@MeanOldLady](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MeanOldLady)\ **Post date:** [August 17, 2009, 2:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/he-thinks-i-am-not-good-enough-for-him/506636/56 "2009-08-17T14:22:48Z")
> [@Alice\_The\_Goon](#): > > So I recently encountered a man through an online personals site. I’ll call him “David”, because that’s his name. Ha ha. > [@](#): > > He was very vague about what he’s been doing these past several years, although he did indicate that he used to drink and drug big-time and that he’s had hepatitis C 3 times, always cured with Interferon. Hep C thrice? Your willingness to go out with this person shows you are apparently a bit more forgiving and open minded than I am. ---
**Author:** ![Alice\_The\_Goon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ed8c4c/32.png) [@Alice\_The\_Goon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Alice_The_Goon)\ **Post date:** [August 17, 2009, 2:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/he-thinks-i-am-not-good-enough-for-him/506636/57 "2009-08-17T14:25:24Z")
Wah wah wah. Yes, I do have a gun at home for self-protection,\*\* Boyo.\*\* Are you suggesting that I shouldn’t? As for the “hey now”, my sources are two prison guards I know, and someone that’s been in prison I know. I guess they could be wrong and you people right. But wait- he really was in prison, so maybe there’s something to that. Jeez- I love the SDMB, where there’s always someone waiting to tell you how WRONG you are to feel, well, anything. ---
**Author:** ![MeanOldLady](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/meanoldlady/32/10737_2.png) [@MeanOldLady](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MeanOldLady)\ **Post date:** [August 17, 2009, 2:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/he-thinks-i-am-not-good-enough-for-him/506636/58 "2009-08-17T14:32:18Z")
> [@Alice\_The\_Goon](#): > > Jeez- I love the SDMB, where there’s always someone waiting to tell you how WRONG you are to feel, well, anything. “Your feelings are ugly and wrong!” -Agnes Skinner ---
**Author:** ![msmith537](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d9b06d/32.png) [@msmith537](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/msmith537)\ **Post date:** [August 17, 2009, 2:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/he-thinks-i-am-not-good-enough-for-him/506636/59 "2009-08-17T14:41:44Z")
Wasn’t “hey now” also a Howard Stern thing? [QUOTE=Alice The Goon] Hah, yeah, the location of the eats was my own choosing. Let’s not go getting all dark and candlelit on the first meeting! [/quote] Well…I suppose you don’t want to spend too much effort in making a last impression. [QUOTE=Alice The Goon] He was very vague about what he’s been doing these past several years, although he did indicate that he used to drink and drug big-time and that he’s had hepatitis C 3 times, always cured with Interferon. [/QUOTE] This would have been you que to say something like: “GOOD!! Because I don’t want anything interferon our good time!” > [@mecaenas](#): > > There’s so much projecting here, I should come back for the matinee. Seriously though, he probably just didn’t feel it and that’s just the way it is. Still…it has to be disheartening when a drug addict Hep C ex-con who lives with his parents tells you “I’m just not that into you.” My usually advice is to not be so picky but in this case… ---
**Author:** ![bup](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/6bbea6/32.png) [@bup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bup)\ **Post date:** [August 17, 2009, 2:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/he-thinks-i-am-not-good-enough-for-him/506636/60 "2009-08-17T14:50:01Z")
> [@Alice\_The\_Goon](#): > > Wah wah wah. Yes, I do have a gun at home for self-protection,\*\* Boyo.\*\* Are you suggesting that I shouldn’t? I, for one, have no problem with you having a gun. In an earlier post, you said you weren’t scared to bring him home because of that gun. Where do you keep it? Is it a pistol or what? Indulge me, and paint the scenario where he attacks you in your home and the gun saves you. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/he-thinks-i-am-not-good-enough-for-him/506636.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/he-thinks-i-am-not-good-enough-for-him/506636.md?page=4)