# He Thinks \*I\* Am Not Good Enough For \*Him\*?? **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [August 16, 2009, 5:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/he-thinks-i-am-not-good-enough-for-him/506636 "2009-08-16T17:39:31Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 5
**Author:** ![MoodIndigo1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e8c25b/32.png) [@MoodIndigo1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MoodIndigo1)\ **Post date:** [August 18, 2009, 4:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/he-thinks-i-am-not-good-enough-for-him/506636/81 "2009-08-18T04:16:26Z")
Exciting development here, innit? ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Fight](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/90ced4/32.png) [@Cat\_Fight](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Fight)\ **Post date:** [August 18, 2009, 4:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/he-thinks-i-am-not-good-enough-for-him/506636/82 "2009-08-18T04:31:33Z")
> [@black\_rabbit](#): > > Nope and nope. If I’m the object of a crush, and it’s not mutual, I’m more relieved than anything else when the former suitor finds a new object for her affections. Unrequited love is usually creepy. I don’t value myself based on what other people think of me. To be fair, I recently revisited the _Family Matters_ episode in which this happens (Urkel briefly loses interest in Laura), so my science is shaky. ---
**Author:** ![lobotomyboy63](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lobotomyboy63/32/2900_2.png) [@lobotomyboy63](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lobotomyboy63)\ **Post date:** [August 18, 2009, 5:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/he-thinks-i-am-not-good-enough-for-him/506636/83 "2009-08-18T05:39:07Z")
> [@Alice\_The\_Goon](#): > > I would go get a coffee with you, just because I love (most) SDMBers. But you can not come back and tell the whole of the interwebs what’s wrong with me! > [@dba\_Fred](#): > > Okay, I won’t come back here and report on what’s wrong with you if you report only half of what’s wrong with me. Deal? 🙂 > > I’m headed out (for coffee), I’ll send an email later. > [@MoodIndigo1](#): > > Exciting development here, innit? A little music… [![](https://i.ytimg.com/vi/uPHmsEoLsL0/hqdefault.jpg "Love's Theme - Barry White") ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uPHmsEoLsL0) 😃 ---
**Author:** ![lissener](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lissener/32/6139_2.png) [@lissener](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lissener)\ **Post date:** [August 18, 2009, 8:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/he-thinks-i-am-not-good-enough-for-him/506636/84 "2009-08-18T08:04:13Z")
Wow, Alice. Or maybe, as good as you think you are at reading him, maybe he’s just as good at reading you: _“This broad is sitting there making all kinds of assumptions about who I am as a person based on her cursory surface observations, and being extremely judgmental as a result. She doesn’t know the first thing about me, but she’s already got me labeled and boxed and put away. I need to be around a person like this like I need a hole in the head, I’m outta here. And she’ll probably take that as a personal rejection, and go do something like post all this shit on a computer message board in order to make herself seem superior by making me seem inferior. Oh well, takes all kinds, glad I got away from this one before things got ugly.”_ ---
**Author:** ![dba\_Fred](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/c37758/32.png) [@dba\_Fred](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dba_Fred)\ **Post date:** [August 18, 2009, 2:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/he-thinks-i-am-not-good-enough-for-him/506636/85 "2009-08-18T14:09:32Z")
Oh noes, she called my bluff! :eek: An email has been sent to **ATG** , my fingers are crossed. My feet are getting cold, what if I’m not good enough for her? Of course I’m good enough for her! But what if I’m not? 😕 Quick, anybody, send me tips and hints! I know, I’ll be myself, just not _too_ much like myself. :smack: **Green Bean** , thank you for the character reference, I hope a good egg is the right bait to go fishing for a catch like **ATG**. (been to the duck pond with the lil’un lately?) (and still waiting for that photo of you 😃 > [@MoodIndigo1](#): > > Exciting development here, innit? One can hope, I know _ **I** _ am. (_where’s the romantic/horny smilie?_) > [@lobotomyboy63](#): > > \ > A little music… > [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uPHmsEoLsL0&feature=related](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uPHmsEoLsL0&feature=related) > 😃 That’s the song I karaoke to! > [@lissener](#): > > Wow, Alice. Or maybe, as good as you think you are at reading him, maybe he’s just as good at reading you: \ Sir, I request you refrain from disparaging the woman who has the potential to be the latest woman to bend my heart. ---
**Author:** ![dba\_Fred](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/c37758/32.png) [@dba\_Fred](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dba_Fred)\ **Post date:** [August 18, 2009, 2:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/he-thinks-i-am-not-good-enough-for-him/506636/86 "2009-08-18T14:55:46Z")
She replied to my email! In a positive manner! Even after I sent photos! 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Covered\_In\_Bees](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/7ab992/32.png) [@Covered\_In\_Bees](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Covered_In_Bees)\ **Post date:** [August 18, 2009, 6:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/he-thinks-i-am-not-good-enough-for-him/506636/87 "2009-08-18T18:27:02Z")
> [@dba fred](#): > > she replied to my email! In a positive manner! Even after i sent photos! :d lmao! 😛 ---
**Author:** ![lobotomyboy63](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lobotomyboy63/32/2900_2.png) [@lobotomyboy63](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lobotomyboy63)\ **Post date:** [August 18, 2009, 6:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/he-thinks-i-am-not-good-enough-for-him/506636/88 "2009-08-18T18:35:36Z")
> [@dba\_Fred](#): > > She replied to my email! In a positive manner! Even after I sent photos! 😃 [![](https://i.ytimg.com/vi/P_Qh2Bx6TIM/hqdefault.jpg "Spaz") ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P_Qh2Bx6TIM) _She wants it, Spaz!_ ---
**Author:** ![lorene](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/65b543/32.png) [@lorene](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lorene)\ **Post date:** [August 19, 2009, 10:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/he-thinks-i-am-not-good-enough-for-him/506636/89 "2009-08-19T10:39:28Z")
> [@Cat\_Fight](#): > > I don’t think it’s _that_ odd a feeling, to be offended when someone you don’t like doesn’t like you. Ever had someone you’re not interested crush on you, only to get bored and find someone else s/he likes more? I get this. It’s like when I’m dismissed from jury duty after making it up to the chairs—I didn’t necessarily want to sit on a jury, but suddenly I wonder what the lawyer found so egregiously wrong with me that he or she is dismissing me. That said, there could be many reasons for Dave’s lack of enthusiasm. The one I’m thinking of has nothing to do with who is too good for whom, but just the strangeness of trying to get back out into the world after prison time (if he did, in fact, serve prison time). It can take a lot of false starts to feel OK about trying to relate to people, I reckon, and this can have zero to do with how you feel about the actual people you meet along the way. ---
**Author:** ![Agent\_Foxtrot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/9fc29f/32.png) [@Agent\_Foxtrot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Agent_Foxtrot)\ **Post date:** [August 19, 2009, 2:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/he-thinks-i-am-not-good-enough-for-him/506636/90 "2009-08-19T14:10:46Z")
> [@Alice\_The\_Goon](#): > > Don’t you hate that? Hey, fucker, I’m interesting, too, if you’d give me a chance to speak! I read an article by that matchmaker chick that has her own show the other day, and she says that on the first date, the woman should say 1 thing to every 3 things the man says, and shouldn’t really talk about herself at all, but mostly about him and asking him questions. So maybe most men are like this at first? But if we get into relationships with them, we women of course end up doing most of the talking, about ourselves, in the end. Y’know, men could say the exact same thing about women. I know I have. I imagine that about 80% of my dates with women involved them talking about themselves 100% of the duration of the night. When I try to relate something about myself to her point, she’ll usually nod silently until I’m done, whence she’ll immediately turn the conversation back to herself. I’ve driven home from dates thinking, “There’s no way to tell if she likes me or not, since she doesn’t know anything about me!” Ladies, do you do this because you’re nervous, or what? Maybe I just happen to date narcissistic or socially maladjusted women. ---
**Author:** ![Nzinga\_Seated](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/b5ac83/32.png) [@Nzinga\_Seated](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nzinga_Seated)\ **Post date:** [August 19, 2009, 2:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/he-thinks-i-am-not-good-enough-for-him/506636/91 "2009-08-19T14:28:03Z")
> [@Alice\_The\_Goon](#): > > I don’t live my life in fear. Foolish, maybe, but it’s worked out for me so far. > > It had been storming and flash-flooding, and I didn’t want to drive, okay? Usually I do meet people somewhere, but this time I let him come to my house because, out of all the vibes I got from him, danger was never one of them. Me either. Not my style to invite folks up in my home without knowing them, but I don’t knock you for being friends with someone that has been in prison. Some ex cons I know I would trust with my child before I would trust some church-going Christians with her. But you blowin’ my mind right now! ‘hey now’ is prison lingo? I hear it in my head as that kind of minstrel-show style…like the way they play that sound clip on Howard Stern…the sound of a big slow-witted black man saying it in a deep baritone. I had no clue what he was poking fun at with that sound clip, but I think you are saying they are making fun of prisoners? I’m trippin’. I never heard of that before. But anyways, to go ahead and back up what a lot of other posters have said, I think it is not about you being hot enough. You are hot enough, I am sure, but the man just very well may be into women that are not hot. I mean, folks just like what they like, and it is no reflection on your own hotness. And thank goodness for that, right? Or we would all be trapped in ‘leagues’ where 10s can only date 10s, and a poor 3 never gets a chance at a 9. No, we aren’t numbers, Alice, we are _people!_ People with feelings and desires and _preferences_! Hmm. I may be getting carried away up in this thread this morning. I’m gonna log out for a break and go get some tea. ---
**Author:** ![Green\_Bean](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/green_bean/32/1760_2.png) [@Green\_Bean](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Green_Bean)\ **Post date:** [August 19, 2009, 3:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/he-thinks-i-am-not-good-enough-for-him/506636/92 "2009-08-19T15:20:54Z")
I was just thinking the other day that we’ve hardly gone fishing at all this year. Very busy with other stuff. The sunnies of New Jersey have been lulled into a false sense of security. > [@lissener](#): > > Wow, Alice. Or maybe, as good as you think you are at reading him, maybe he’s just as good at reading you: _…And she’ll probably take that as a personal rejection, and go do something like post all this shit on a computer message board in order to make herself seem superior by making me seem inferior._ Oh come on, I don’t think she was trying to make herself seem superior. It’s not like she was saying that she’s the greatest thing since sliced bread or anything. It’s good that she recognizes that she has a lot to offer. I think it’s silly that she got her nose out of joint over this, but everybody’s silly sometimes. ---
**Author:** ![Jackmannii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jackmannii/32/311_2.png) [@Jackmannii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jackmannii)\ **Post date:** [August 19, 2009, 3:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/he-thinks-i-am-not-good-enough-for-him/506636/93 "2009-08-19T15:52:56Z")
The OP made me think of the old joke about the person who describes eating at a restaurant where the food is really bad, and then complains about the portions being too small. ---
**Author:** ![MeanOldLady](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/meanoldlady/32/10737_2.png) [@MeanOldLady](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MeanOldLady)\ **Post date:** [August 19, 2009, 3:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/he-thinks-i-am-not-good-enough-for-him/506636/94 "2009-08-19T15:54:07Z")
Where have \*\*alice \*\*and \*\*fred \*\*gone? Are they off having monkey sex now, or what? ---
**Author:** ![dba\_Fred](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/c37758/32.png) [@dba\_Fred](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dba_Fred)\ **Post date:** [August 19, 2009, 3:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/he-thinks-i-am-not-good-enough-for-him/506636/95 "2009-08-19T15:56:26Z")
_ **UPDATE** _ ``` Nothing wrong with **Alice The Goon** so far. Her original reply to my email was that, yes, she wants to meet for coffee and would send a longer email later. She did write a nice longer email yesterday evening *BUT* the age difference may be a problem. ``` So I need some advice from fellow old coots: Does being young at heart/immature help? _Grecian Formula_ or _Just For Men_? Is there an exercise routine to take off 10 years in 2-3 days? An over-the-counter drug than will make me younger for an hour or two? _Enzyte_ or _Viagra_? Does _Spanish Fly_ dissolve in coffee? ``` About that 3 to 1 talking ratio, I'm planning on letting her do the 3 and I'll do the 1 - I already know all about me and after all, she's got *girly bits*! :D Fearing I may be rushing things, I'll cancel the weekend reservation at the *Hunka Hunka Burning Love Wedding Chape*l and the honeymoon bus tickets to the *No-Tell Mote*l. If she brings her gun to the cup o' coffee meeting, I guess it'll be **me** asking "Is that a pistol in your pocket or are you just glad to see me?" :confused: ``` > [@lobotomyboy63](#): > > [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P\_Qh2Bx6TIM](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P_Qh2Bx6TIM) > _She wants it, Spaz!_ ``` I have that *Spaz* outfit! Pre-date I spray the pants' zipper with WD-40 for easy access and have finally learned not to leave a big wet spot. That reminds me to put new tape on my glasses. And I think she liked the photo of my non-ex-con non-mega-built upper body. ``` > [@Nzinga\_Seated](#): > > \ > No, we aren’t numbers, Alice, we are _people!_ People with feelings and desires and _preferences_! \ [@Green\_Bean](#): > > \ > Oh come on, I don’t think she was trying to make herself seem superior. It’s not like she was saying that she’s the greatest thing since sliced bread or anything. It’s good that she recognizes that she has a lot to offer. I think it’s silly that she got her nose out of joint over this, but everybody’s silly sometimes. Is “the greatest thing since sliced bread” better than “all that & a bag of chips?” If she’s in your league **Green Bean** , I’ll be happy 🙂 Meeting negotiations are continuing, status reports will follow when available. While I have no inside information, wouldn’t **ATG** have pitted Dave if she were seriously pissed at him? Nobody’s said it yet so I will: [Cheech & Chong on/ Dave’s not here, man. /Cheech & Chong off] ---
**Author:** ![bup](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/6bbea6/32.png) [@bup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bup)\ **Post date:** [August 19, 2009, 4:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/he-thinks-i-am-not-good-enough-for-him/506636/96 "2009-08-19T16:06:38Z")
> [@Jackmannii](#): > > The OP made me think of the old joke about the person who describes eating at a restaurant where the food is really bad, and then complains about the portions being too small. How’s it go? ---
**Author:** ![Malacandra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Malacandra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malacandra)\ **Post date:** [August 19, 2009, 4:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/he-thinks-i-am-not-good-enough-for-him/506636/97 "2009-08-19T16:15:50Z")
> [@bup](#): > > How’s it go? Well, this guy’s been to a restaurant, right, and someone asks how it was, so he tells them how the… ahhhh, nevermind. ---
**Author:** ![dba\_Fred](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/c37758/32.png) [@dba\_Fred](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dba_Fred)\ **Post date:** [August 19, 2009, 4:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/he-thinks-i-am-not-good-enough-for-him/506636/98 "2009-08-19T16:24:11Z")
> [@bup](#): > > How’s it go? “$20, same as downtown Reverend.” ---
**Author:** ![Nzinga\_Seated](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/b5ac83/32.png) [@Nzinga\_Seated](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nzinga_Seated)\ **Post date:** [August 19, 2009, 5:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/he-thinks-i-am-not-good-enough-for-him/506636/99 "2009-08-19T17:09:29Z")
Man, ya’ll got me caught up in this soap opera, and I haven’t made a single sale at work today. I need to focus. ---
**Author:** ![lobotomyboy63](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lobotomyboy63/32/2900_2.png) [@lobotomyboy63](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lobotomyboy63)\ **Post date:** [August 19, 2009, 5:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/he-thinks-i-am-not-good-enough-for-him/506636/100 "2009-08-19T17:23:23Z")
> [@dba\_Fred](#): > > Meeting negotiations are continuing, status reports will follow when available. [Working Girl] Tess McGill: What if he doesn’t?.. pop the question? Katherine Parker: I really don’t think that’s a variable. We’re in the same city now, I’ve indicated that I’m receptive to an offer, I’ve cleared the month of June… and I am, after all, me. [http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0096463/quotes](http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0096463/quotes) [/Working Girl] Sorry, couldn’t find a youtube clip ☹ [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/he-thinks-i-am-not-good-enough-for-him/506636.md?page=4) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/he-thinks-i-am-not-good-enough-for-him/506636.md?page=6)