# He Won't Kiss Me **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [January 14, 2011, 12:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/he-wont-kiss-me/567542 "2011-01-14T00:47:16Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![system](https://global.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/original/2X/e/e489c3b7d8fce19c4b355dd4fc3f88cc39c34b87.png) [@system](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/system)\ **Post date:** [January 14, 2011, 12:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/he-wont-kiss-me/567542/1 "2011-01-14T00:47:16Z")
I have been seeing a guy, for a while now. He is not my boy friend but we spend a lot of time together. Problem is he refuses to kiss me. Don’t get me wrong we have done everything else but kiss. I’m 22 and he is 24, and he says he doesn’t kiss because he did it so much in high school that he got tired of it. How do people get tired of kissing. I’m desperate, we have had many arguments over the issue and I don’t want to just go ahead and kiss him cause he obviously doesn’t want to and I don’t want to feel like I’m disrespecting him. I feel we are in the movie pretty women except he’s the prostitute and I’m just the girl, since he won’t kiss. What can I do??? I mean is he just afraid of getting emotionally attached if he kisses me? or could he be BI. I mean a guy at his age should be more mature about things. Well please help this is really bothering me. Thanks. ---
**Author:** ![Covered\_In\_Bees](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/7ab992/32.png) [@Covered\_In\_Bees](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Covered_In_Bees)\ **Post date:** [January 14, 2011, 12:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/he-wont-kiss-me/567542/2 "2011-01-14T00:49:27Z")
I am a male in my mid20s and I am pretty damn sure he’s just using you. You’ll be lucky if you’re the only girl he’s doing this with. A dozen other people will come in soon with a dozen reasons for why he’s doing what he’s doing but I guarantee mine is the most likely. ---
**Author:** ![Drain\_Bead](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e47774/32.png) [@Drain\_Bead](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Drain_Bead)\ **Post date:** [January 14, 2011, 1:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/he-wont-kiss-me/567542/3 "2011-01-14T01:05:49Z")
Dump him. He’s clearly fucked in the head. ---
**Author:** ![Silver\_Fire](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a88e4f/32.png) [@Silver\_Fire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Silver_Fire)\ **Post date:** [January 14, 2011, 1:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/he-wont-kiss-me/567542/4 "2011-01-14T01:07:10Z")
> [@Drain\_Bead](#): > > Dump him. He’s clearly fucked in the head. This. WTF. Not to mention, you’re 22. If you’re hanging out with somebody who isn’t giving you what you want (and something so very basic as kissing!), DTMFA. ---
**Author:** ![B.Serum](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/b.serum/32/14266_2.png) [@B.Serum](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/B.Serum)\ **Post date:** [January 14, 2011, 1:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/he-wont-kiss-me/567542/5 "2011-01-14T01:20:02Z")
He _could_ be bisexual, but that has no bearing on whether or not he’d kiss you. :rolleyes: His “i’m sick of kissing” excuse is bullshit. If you’ve “done everything else but kiss,” it sounds like he’s using you for sex. Kissing is symbolic of a caring relationship, which he clearly isn’t interested in. Welcome to the douchebag end of casual sex. You say he’s not your boyfriend, but I don’t think you’ve fully come to terms with that. If you want a boyfriend, get a boyfriend. If you want a fuckbuddy, don’t be surprised if they don’t want to do things that would give you legitimate reason to think they want a deep, meaningful emotional connection with you. ---
**Author:** ![ImNotPaulAvery](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/b5a626/32.png) [@ImNotPaulAvery](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ImNotPaulAvery)\ **Post date:** [January 14, 2011, 1:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/he-wont-kiss-me/567542/6 "2011-01-14T01:25:38Z")
26 y/o male here. I agree, it sounds like he is using you. I’ve got to admit my girlfriend drives me a little crazy with kissing. It seems like she wants to kiss every 5 minutes. I’m not against it, but it gets kind of annoying to kiss every time we pass each other in the hall/sit down/change the channel on tv/get in the car/etc… ---
**Author:** ![cuauhtemoc](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ecb155/32.png) [@cuauhtemoc](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cuauhtemoc)\ **Post date:** [January 14, 2011, 1:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/he-wont-kiss-me/567542/7 "2011-01-14T01:34:47Z")
I don’t even understand how this works. You “do everything else” but don’t kiss? How do you get yourselves revved up for everything else then? ---
**Author:** ![VinylTurnip](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/b2d939/32.png) [@VinylTurnip](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/VinylTurnip)\ **Post date:** [January 14, 2011, 1:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/he-wont-kiss-me/567542/8 "2011-01-14T01:46:11Z")
Guess he didn’t fist too much in high school. ---
**Author:** ![minlokwat](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/minlokwat/32/2844_2.png) [@minlokwat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/minlokwat)\ **Post date:** [January 14, 2011, 1:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/he-wont-kiss-me/567542/9 "2011-01-14T01:48:44Z")
I mean this with all due respect –seriously- but might it be a question of bad breath? As in yours perhaps. Just a thought. Evidently there are folks walking around with nary a thought that their exhalations could –what’s the expression?—knock a buzzard off of a shit wagon. Really. Some weeks ago my wife and I were out and about and both noticed the occasion waft of a dank, shit-smelling reek. We determined it was some guy a full ten feet away from us casually chatting it up with his companion. We had no idea how either could tolerate such an existence. But I digress. Again I am not trying to be an ass but it’s worth at least a cursory consideration. ---
**Author:** ![DigitalC](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ebca7d/32.png) [@DigitalC](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DigitalC)\ **Post date:** [January 14, 2011, 1:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/he-wont-kiss-me/567542/10 "2011-01-14T01:53:32Z")
The ONLY time i’ve heard of this no kissing thing is when a guy is having sex with a girl he doesn’t find attractive. ---
**Author:** ![6ImpossibleThingsB4Breakfast](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/6/e19adc/32.png) [@6ImpossibleThingsB4Breakfast](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/6ImpossibleThingsB4Breakfast)\ **Post date:** [January 14, 2011, 2:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/he-wont-kiss-me/567542/11 "2011-01-14T02:07:22Z")
To his, “Then _kiss_? My arse!!” your reply is,“Then kiss my arse!” Has he done so much eating in his life that he no longer partakes of food either? ---
**Author:** ![PandaBear77](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/edb3f5/32.png) [@PandaBear77](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PandaBear77)\ **Post date:** [January 14, 2011, 2:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/he-wont-kiss-me/567542/12 "2011-01-14T02:18:38Z")
> [@Downgighene](#): > > I have been seeing a guy, for a while now. He is not my boy friend but we spend a lot of time together. > > Problem is he refuses to kiss me. Don’t get me wrong we have done everything else but kiss. You spend a lot of time together and have done EVERYTHING else but kiss? Hon … he’s using you. Big time … > [@Downgighene](#): > > I’m 22 and he is 24, and he says he doesn’t kiss because he did it so much in high school that he got tired of it. … AND he thinks you’re (incredibly) stupid, because that is the biggest bullshit reason I’ve ever heard. I bet he hasn’t had so many blowjobs that he’ll refuse one from you if you offer. Ugh. What a dick. Dump his sorry ass! I’m not even gonna comment on the rest of your post. You deserve so much better, hon. RUN! This guy is a giant douchecanoe. ---
**Author:** ![Isamu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/7c8e57/32.png) [@Isamu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Isamu)\ **Post date:** [January 14, 2011, 2:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/he-wont-kiss-me/567542/13 "2011-01-14T02:31:06Z")
Agreed, there’s only three options: 1. You have bad oral hygiene and he doesn’t want to tell you, 2. He doesn’t really like you, or 3. He’s got some mental hangups that you don’t need in your life, so dump him. ---
**Author:** ![Khadaji](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/9e8a1a/32.png) [@Khadaji](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Khadaji)\ **Post date:** [January 14, 2011, 2:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/he-wont-kiss-me/567542/14 "2011-01-14T02:32:48Z")
A famous philosopher once said: > [@](#): > > How will you know if he loves you so, its in his kiss. He just ain’t that into you - dump him. ---
**Author:** ![overlyverbose](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/9dc877/32.png) [@overlyverbose](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/overlyverbose)\ **Post date:** [January 14, 2011, 2:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/he-wont-kiss-me/567542/15 "2011-01-14T02:36:21Z")
How long have you been dating? And what does “everything else but kiss” entail? As in, sex? I often jump to strange conclusions, so take this with a grain of salt, but… Were I in the same situation, I’d wonder if maybe he has an active STD (like herpes). One way or the other, he’s using you. Find someone else. ---
**Author:** ![Lasciel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e79b87/32.png) [@Lasciel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lasciel)\ **Post date:** [January 14, 2011, 2:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/he-wont-kiss-me/567542/16 "2011-01-14T02:37:14Z")
This “not a boyfriend” is what you would commonly refer to as a fuckbuddy. Fuckbuddies are not for kissing. They are for relieving urges into. If you want someone to kiss you, you need a boyfriend. This guy doesn’t seem to be even remotely interested. Therefore, you need a new guy, and you need to be honest with him and yourself that you want to be more than friends with benefits. ---
**Author:** ![RickJay](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/bb73d2/32.png) [@RickJay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RickJay)\ **Post date:** [January 14, 2011, 3:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/he-wont-kiss-me/567542/17 "2011-01-14T03:09:47Z")
> [@Downgighene](#): > > I have been seeing a guy, for a while now. He is not my boy friend but we spend a lot of time together. > Problem is he refuses to kiss me. Don’t get me wrong we have done everything else but kiss. > I’m 22 and he is 24, and he says he doesn’t kiss because he did it so much in high school that he got tired of it. He sounds like a nutball. Dump him. ---
**Author:** ![Blackberry](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ecd19e/32.png) [@Blackberry](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Blackberry)\ **Post date:** [January 14, 2011, 3:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/he-wont-kiss-me/567542/18 "2011-01-14T03:25:11Z")
Does he have any non-kissing friends? I don’t really like kissing. Never have. I don’t refuse to ever do it or anything, but it’s really not my thing, no matter how much I like the guy and find him attractive. So I don’t think it NECESSARILY means he’s just using you or not really attracted to you or the stuff everyone’s saying. But it does seem odd he wouldn’t just do it occasionally, since he knows you want to. ---
**Author:** ![TruCelt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/trucelt/32/523_2.png) [@TruCelt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TruCelt)\ **Post date:** [January 14, 2011, 3:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/he-wont-kiss-me/567542/19 "2011-01-14T03:46:58Z")
Dump him. It’s actually a common form of emotional abuse to use your body for sex, but refuse any affectionate touching. I’m betting he’s not much of a cuddler either - or only when it’s what he wants. He’s keeping you desperate for what you want while getting his own wants fulfilled. Disgusting. ---
**Author:** ![Count\_Blucher](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/c5a1d2/32.png) [@Count\_Blucher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Count_Blucher)\ **Post date:** [January 14, 2011, 4:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/he-wont-kiss-me/567542/20 "2011-01-14T04:41:42Z")
I’ve heard people say that distance makes the heart grow fonder. Next time you see him, Run. You’ll be the happier for it. 😉 [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/he-wont-kiss-me/567542.md?page=2)