# Headlines don't really get any better than this.... **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [June 16, 2010, 5:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/headlines-dont-really-get-any-better-than-this/543437 "2010-06-16T17:27:33Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![SoulFrost](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/f07891/32.png) [@SoulFrost](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SoulFrost)\ **Post date:** [June 16, 2010, 5:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/headlines-dont-really-get-any-better-than-this/543437/1 "2010-06-16T17:27:33Z")
> [@Reuters Article](#): > > A German student created a major traffic jam in Bavaria after making a rude gesture at a group of Hell’s Angels motorcycle gang members, hurling a puppy at them and then escaping on a stolen bulldozer. > > [Source](http://www.reuters.com/article/idUSTRE65E39Q20100615) Hell’s Angels. A puppy. A bulldozer. I really don’t know what else to say. ---
**Author:** ![Ferret\_Herder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/e47774/32.png) [@Ferret\_Herder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ferret_Herder)\ **Post date:** [June 16, 2010, 5:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/headlines-dont-really-get-any-better-than-this/543437/2 "2010-06-16T17:31:36Z")
If I didn’t know better, I’d think that someone at Reuters didn’t understand that The Onion is a satirical newspaper. ---
**Author:** ![Sunspace](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sunspace/32/1250_2.png) [@Sunspace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunspace)\ **Post date:** [June 16, 2010, 5:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/headlines-dont-really-get-any-better-than-this/543437/3 "2010-06-16T17:54:11Z")
Later, at the Hells Angels clubhouse… “Now _what the hell happened out there?_” “He… he attacked us… _with a puppy!_” “And then escaped! On a bulldozer!” “Yeah! A bulldoizer! How could we possibly respond to that? He could have had this place in ruins! We’re lucky we got away with our lives!” ---
**Author:** ![ivan\_astikov](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/58f4c7/32.png) [@ivan\_astikov](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ivan_astikov)\ **Post date:** [June 16, 2010, 6:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/headlines-dont-really-get-any-better-than-this/543437/4 "2010-06-16T18:10:57Z")
What is the world coming to? At one time, you wouldn’t dream of attacking a Hell’s Angel with anything less than a full grown Rottweiler. ---
**Author:** ![Colibri](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/colibri/32/1841_2.png) [@Colibri](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Colibri)\ **Post date:** [June 16, 2010, 6:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/headlines-dont-really-get-any-better-than-this/543437/5 "2010-06-16T18:12:25Z")
> [@Sunspace](#): > > “He… he attacked us… _with a puppy!_” When Puppies Are Outlawed, Only Outlaws Will Have Puppies. ---
**Author:** ![lieu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/c2a13f/32.png) [@lieu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lieu)\ **Post date:** [June 16, 2010, 6:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/headlines-dont-really-get-any-better-than-this/543437/6 "2010-06-16T18:17:01Z")
Allershausen; the Bavarian Altamont. ---
**Author:** ![ivan\_astikov](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/58f4c7/32.png) [@ivan\_astikov](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ivan_astikov)\ **Post date:** [June 16, 2010, 6:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/headlines-dont-really-get-any-better-than-this/543437/7 "2010-06-16T18:22:20Z")
Perhaps the student had one of these PGDS’s\*? [Don’t make me pull the pin on this puppy!](http://puppyintraining.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/11/stetson3.jpg) - Puppy Grenade Delivery System ---
**Author:** ![RalfCoder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/f1d935/32.png) [@RalfCoder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RalfCoder)\ **Post date:** [June 16, 2010, 6:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/headlines-dont-really-get-any-better-than-this/543437/8 "2010-06-16T18:29:04Z")
> [@](#): > > and then escaping on a stolen bulldozer. HOW? I’ve driven a bulldozer. Granted, it wasn’t a lot, but still… I could trot on foot faster than it could move, in high gear, AND downhill. Unless this bulldozer was made by Porsche, or the bikers were overcome with a vicious case of the “Aww, how cute ist der puppy!!!”, I don’t see how the guy got away. (Or is it _das_ puppy? I don’t know if “puppy” is a masculine or feminine noun) ---
**Author:** ![Wile\_E](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/c37758/32.png) [@Wile\_E](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wile_E)\ **Post date:** [June 16, 2010, 6:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/headlines-dont-really-get-any-better-than-this/543437/9 "2010-06-16T18:34:46Z")
> [@Colibri](#): > > When Puppies Are Outlawed, Only Outlaws Will Have Puppies. But aren’t the Outlaws HA’s rivals? Since Hell’s Angels now has puppies (or a puppy), Outlaws must counter with kittens. ---
**Author:** ![Jenaroph](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/e8c25b/32.png) [@Jenaroph](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jenaroph)\ **Post date:** [June 16, 2010, 7:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/headlines-dont-really-get-any-better-than-this/543437/10 "2010-06-16T19:03:33Z")
> [@](#): > > …then escaping on a stolen bulldozer. “He’s gradually getting away!” ---
**Author:** ![shijinn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/cc9497/32.png) [@shijinn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/shijinn)\ **Post date:** [June 16, 2010, 7:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/headlines-dont-really-get-any-better-than-this/543437/11 "2010-06-16T19:15:57Z")
.. > [@](#): > > … then escaping on a stolen bulldozer. > [@Austin Powers](#): > > NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! ---
**Author:** ![SciFiSam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/47e85d/32.png) [@SciFiSam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SciFiSam)\ **Post date:** [June 16, 2010, 9:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/headlines-dont-really-get-any-better-than-this/543437/12 "2010-06-16T21:42:01Z")
I assume it was a gundog. ---
**Author:** ![NurseCarmen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/5daacb/32.png) [@NurseCarmen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/NurseCarmen)\ **Post date:** [June 16, 2010, 10:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/headlines-dont-really-get-any-better-than-this/543437/13 "2010-06-16T22:55:08Z")
Screw the Hell’s Angels, I wanna join this kid’s gang. ---
**Author:** ![SevenOfTeemingMillions](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/76d3ee/32.png) [@SevenOfTeemingMillions](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SevenOfTeemingMillions)\ **Post date:** [June 17, 2010, 2:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/headlines-dont-really-get-any-better-than-this/543437/14 "2010-06-17T02:01:26Z")
> [@RalfCoder](#): > > HOW? > > I’ve driven a bulldozer. Granted, it wasn’t a lot, but still… I could trot on foot faster than it could move, in high gear, AND downhill. Unless this bulldozer was made by Porsche, or the bikers were overcome with a vicious case of the “Aww, how cute ist der puppy!!!”, I don’t see how the guy got away. Due to high fuel prices, bikers now ride scooters. ---
**Author:** ![Ludovic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7ab992/32.png) [@Ludovic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ludovic)\ **Post date:** [June 17, 2010, 2:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/headlines-dont-really-get-any-better-than-this/543437/15 "2010-06-17T02:22:22Z")
> [@SevenOfTeemingMillions](#): > > Due to high fuel prices, bikers now ride scooters. And their gang leader is Tomndebb: Mod Rocker. ---
**Author:** ![moldybread](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/7ea924/32.png) [@moldybread](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/moldybread)\ **Post date:** [June 17, 2010, 2:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/headlines-dont-really-get-any-better-than-this/543437/16 "2010-06-17T14:42:31Z")
> [@Sunspace](#): > > Later, at the Hells Angels clubhouse… > > “Now _what the hell happened out there?_” > > “He… he attacked us… _with a puppy!_” > > “And then escaped! On a bulldozer!” Would love to see that conversation with the chapter president. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Icarus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/icarus/32/72_2.png) [@Icarus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Icarus)\ **Post date:** [June 17, 2010, 3:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/headlines-dont-really-get-any-better-than-this/543437/17 "2010-06-17T15:28:25Z")
> [@moldybread](#): > > Would love to see that conversation with the chapter president. 😃 …and the ungodly amount of paperwork they would have to fill out for the incident report… ---
**Author:** ![ITR\_champion](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/c67d28/32.png) [@ITR\_champion](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ITR_champion)\ **Post date:** [June 17, 2010, 5:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/headlines-dont-really-get-any-better-than-this/543437/18 "2010-06-17T17:59:34Z")
> [@](#): > > Headlines don’t really get any better than this… How about [Southwest Airlines Seizes Dozens of Human Heads](http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/37754426/ns/us_news-life/?gt1=43001)? ---
**Author:** ![hotflungwok](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/edb3f5/32.png) [@hotflungwok](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/hotflungwok)\ **Post date:** [June 17, 2010, 6:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/headlines-dont-really-get-any-better-than-this/543437/19 "2010-06-17T18:03:31Z")
> [@ITR\_champion](#): > > How about [Southwest Airlines Seizes Dozens of Human Heads](http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/37754426/ns/us_news-life/?gt1=43001)? Nope, the reigning champion is still NYP’s [**Ike Beats Tina to Death**](http://www.thedailyswarm.com/headlines/tasteless-2-new-york-posts-ike-turner-obit/). ---
**Author:** ![SoulFrost](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/f07891/32.png) [@SoulFrost](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SoulFrost)\ **Post date:** [June 17, 2010, 6:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/headlines-dont-really-get-any-better-than-this/543437/20 "2010-06-17T18:09:58Z")
I dunno… human heads are always a curiosity and as long as Ike’s dead, I’m happy, but puppies and bulldozers and Hell’s Angels just have that certain special _something_ that you can only say in French. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/headlines-dont-really-get-any-better-than-this/543437.md?page=2)