# Headlines you don't read every day **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [June 10, 2013, 7:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/headlines-you-dont-read-every-day/660645 "2013-06-10T19:14:14Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Simmerdown](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/simmerdown/32/14859_2.png) [@Simmerdown](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Simmerdown)\ **Post date:** [June 10, 2013, 7:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/headlines-you-dont-read-every-day/660645/1 "2013-06-10T19:14:14Z")
Yup, that’s the first thing I thought of. ---
**Author:** ![picunurse](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/7bcc69/32.png) [@picunurse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/picunurse)\ **Post date:** [June 10, 2013, 7:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/headlines-you-dont-read-every-day/660645/2 "2013-06-10T19:17:59Z")
The board died just as I was about to post. [Naked Woman Missing in the Forest](http://www.komonews.com/news/local/Naked-woman-missing-in-W-Wash-forest-210853271.html) > [@](#): > > The 19-year-old woman, from Vancouver, Wash., was reported missing from Canyon Creek Campground (located east of Amboy in the Gifford Pinchot National Forest) just after midnight. ---
**Author:** ![Smeghead](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/f1d935/32.png) [@Smeghead](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Smeghead)\ **Post date:** [June 10, 2013, 8:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/headlines-you-dont-read-every-day/660645/3 "2013-06-10T20:29:09Z")
I can’t think of any headlines that I DO read every day. ---
**Author:** ![Drunky\_Smurf](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/drunky_smurf/32/449_2.png) [@Drunky\_Smurf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Drunky_Smurf)\ **Post date:** [June 10, 2013, 8:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/headlines-you-dont-read-every-day/660645/4 "2013-06-10T20:56:06Z")
> [@Simmerdown](#): > > Yup, that’s the first thing I thought of. What? ---
**Author:** ![picker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/picker/32/13969_2.png) [@picker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/picker)\ **Post date:** [June 10, 2013, 9:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/headlines-you-dont-read-every-day/660645/5 "2013-06-10T21:06:05Z")
exactly ---
**Author:** ![picunurse](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/7bcc69/32.png) [@picunurse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/picunurse)\ **Post date:** [June 10, 2013, 9:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/headlines-you-dont-read-every-day/660645/6 "2013-06-10T21:25:52Z")
Ok, I tried to post a funny/odd news story. The board went down in the middle of my post. Why do you have to be mean about it? ---
**Author:** ![digs](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/digs/32/14889_2.png) [@digs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/digs)\ **Post date:** [June 10, 2013, 9:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/headlines-you-dont-read-every-day/660645/7 "2013-06-10T21:34:21Z")
Mean? For The Dope, this is stuffed Teddy Bear unicorns with swirly cotton candy manes. _(If we were being **mean** , we’d’ve found out how your dad let you down in grade school and then we’d bribe your mom to tell you it how it was all your fault…“Just like that thread you tried to start!”)_ ---
**Author:** ![picunurse](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/7bcc69/32.png) [@picunurse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/picunurse)\ **Post date:** [June 10, 2013, 10:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/headlines-you-dont-read-every-day/660645/8 "2013-06-10T22:03:15Z")
> [@digs](#): > > Mean? For The Dope, this is stuffed Teddy Bear unicorns with swirly cotton candy manes. > > _(If we were being **mean** , we’d’ve found out how your dad let you down in grade school and then we’d bribe your mom to tell you it how it was all your fault…“Just like that thread you tried to start!”)_ Oh Man! You know my Dad? I’ve never met him, don’t even know his name. Mom took the name with her to her grave after her long battle with brain cancer. See, that game doesn’t bother me a bit. 😃 I just wanted people to make fun of the naked girl in the woods, on a “quest.” ---
**Author:** ![IvoryTowerDenizen](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ivorytowerdenizen/32/17937_2.png) [@IvoryTowerDenizen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/IvoryTowerDenizen)\ **Post date:** [June 10, 2013, 10:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/headlines-you-dont-read-every-day/660645/9 "2013-06-10T22:18:59Z")
This whole thread is utterly confusing. ---
**Author:** ![TBG](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/c89c15/32.png) [@TBG](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TBG)\ **Post date:** [June 10, 2013, 10:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/headlines-you-dont-read-every-day/660645/10 "2013-06-10T22:42:09Z")
> [@IvoryTowerDenizen](#): > > This whole thread is utterly confusing. Started by a spammer and the mods removed those posts leaving ones by real people? That’s how it looks to me. ---
**Author:** ![Septima](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/dc4da7/32.png) [@Septima](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Septima)\ **Post date:** [June 10, 2013, 11:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/headlines-you-dont-read-every-day/660645/11 "2013-06-10T23:08:33Z")
I’m sorry. Ever since I was exposed to the headline “Screwed to death by birthday camel”, everything else has just looked mundane to me. ---
**Author:** ![picunurse](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/7bcc69/32.png) [@picunurse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/picunurse)\ **Post date:** [June 11, 2013, 12:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/headlines-you-dont-read-every-day/660645/12 "2013-06-11T00:14:23Z")
> [@TBG](#): > > Started by a spammer and the mods removed those posts leaving ones by real people? That’s how it looks to me. NO! NO! NO! I started the thread. Before I could post this: _Naked Woman Missing in the Forest_ The board went down. For the next few minutes all I got was that annoying little box saying there’s a problem with the server. When, about 5 minutes later, I was able to get back on, the thread was up, but empty of my initial OP. Then **Simmerdown** posted his, rightfully, confused response. Then I posted the missing link and quote. Sigh. ---
**Author:** ![Smeghead](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/f1d935/32.png) [@Smeghead](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Smeghead)\ **Post date:** [June 11, 2013, 12:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/headlines-you-dont-read-every-day/660645/13 "2013-06-11T00:26:47Z")
Then the earth cooled. And along came dinosaurs, but they got too big and fat, so they died and turned into oil… ---
**Author:** ![panache45](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/panache45/32/64_2.png) [@panache45](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panache45)\ **Post date:** [June 11, 2013, 12:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/headlines-you-dont-read-every-day/660645/14 "2013-06-11T00:39:46Z")
> [@picunurse](#): > > NO! NO! NO! I started the thread. > Before I could post this: _Naked Woman Missing in the Forest_ The board went down. For the next few minutes all I got was that annoying little box saying there’s a problem with the server. > When, about 5 minutes later, I was able to get back on, the thread was up, but empty of my initial OP. > Then **Simmerdown** posted his, rightfully, confused response. Then I posted the missing link and quote. > > Sigh. Come on, admit it. You were the naked woman in the forest, right? ---
**Author:** ![picunurse](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/7bcc69/32.png) [@picunurse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/picunurse)\ **Post date:** [June 11, 2013, 12:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/headlines-you-dont-read-every-day/660645/15 "2013-06-11T00:50:10Z")
> [@panache45](#): > > Come on, admit it. You were the naked woman in the forest, right? Sadly, no. Ah, to BE 19 again. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Baker](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/bb73d2/32.png) [@Baker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Baker)\ **Post date:** [June 11, 2013, 2:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/headlines-you-dont-read-every-day/660645/16 "2013-06-11T02:07:41Z")
The last place I’ld want to be naked is a forest. Bugs and poison ivy, thorns, more bugs, slimy worms, did I mention bugs? Ewwww. ---
**Author:** ![hotflungwok](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/edb3f5/32.png) [@hotflungwok](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/hotflungwok)\ **Post date:** [June 11, 2013, 2:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/headlines-you-dont-read-every-day/660645/17 "2013-06-11T02:23:34Z")
“Ike Beats Tina to Death” ---
**Author:** ![Mister\_Rik](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mister_rik/32/491_2.png) [@Mister\_Rik](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mister_Rik)\ **Post date:** [June 11, 2013, 2:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/headlines-you-dont-read-every-day/660645/18 "2013-06-11T02:41:20Z")
> [@Baker](#): > > The last place I’ld want to be naked is a forest. > > Bugs and poison ivy, thorns, more bugs, slimy worms, did I mention bugs? Ewwww. Given the locale (I grew up around there), I’d be worried about [slugs](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Slug). Ah, the memories I have of stepping on those things while running barefoot across the lawn… Not much poison ivy around there (I never saw any), but stinging nettles are common. Thorns? Hell yeah. Fresh blackberries everywhere (which I really miss). ---
**Author:** ![Northern\_Piper](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/northern_piper/32/5304_2.png) [@Northern\_Piper](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Northern_Piper)\ **Post date:** [June 11, 2013, 4:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/headlines-you-dont-read-every-day/660645/19 "2013-06-11T04:07:43Z")
> [@Baker](#): > > The last place I’ld want to be naked is a forest. You have forests in Kansas? Luxury. Up here, due north o’Kansas, we have plains. Lots and lots of plains. And a few poplar bluffs. ---
**Author:** ![picunurse](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/7bcc69/32.png) [@picunurse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/picunurse)\ **Post date:** [June 11, 2013, 8:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/headlines-you-dont-read-every-day/660645/20 "2013-06-11T08:56:19Z")
> [@Mister\_Rik](#): > > Given the locale (I grew up around there), I’d be worried about [slugs](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Slug). Ah, the memories I have of stepping on those things while running barefoot across the lawn… > > Not much poison ivy around there (I never saw any), but stinging nettles are common. Thorns? Hell yeah. Fresh blackberries everywhere (which I really miss). Blackberries are just blooming, no fruit, just thorns. The 11:00 PM news said she’s still missing. Maybe **Psychobunny’s** cat got her. 😃 [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/headlines-you-dont-read-every-day/660645.md?page=2)