# Headlines you don't read every day **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [June 10, 2013, 7:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/headlines-you-dont-read-every-day/660645 "2013-06-10T19:14:14Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Bumbershoot](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bumbershoot/32/3428_2.png) [@Bumbershoot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bumbershoot)\ **Post date:** [June 11, 2013, 9:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/headlines-you-dont-read-every-day/660645/21 "2013-06-11T09:34:20Z")
I didn’t know it was possible to start a thread without a post. Then again, I never tried. Anyway, here’s my contribution: [Scotland’s Moonwalking Pony in ‘Paternity Battle’](http://www.upi.com/Odd_News/2013/06/10/Scotlands-moonwalking-pony-in-paternity-battle/UPI-16891370893625/) > [@](#): > > “He most definitely has a real eye for the ladies. He doesn’t need any encouragement. But there is a bit of paternity battle involving him at the moment,” Williamson said of Socks. > > Williamson said she put Socks together with three potential mates, but he instead chose to swim across a loch to mate with a female named Kimberly, who had been paired together with a different stud. Edit: [Here’s the commercial](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ekr05T9Iaio) that features the pony doing the moonwalk (it’s linked in the article as well) ---
**Author:** ![Freddy\_the\_Pig](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/a587f6/32.png) [@Freddy\_the\_Pig](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Freddy_the_Pig)\ **Post date:** [June 11, 2013, 1:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/headlines-you-dont-read-every-day/660645/22 "2013-06-11T13:57:19Z")
In other news, \*\*[TSA delays Chewbacca over lightsaber\*\*](http://www.cnn.com/2013/06/10/travel/chewbacca-tsa-light-saber-cane/index.html?hpt=hp_t3). ---
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [June 11, 2013, 1:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/headlines-you-dont-read-every-day/660645/23 "2013-06-11T13:59:48Z")
Hasn’t the TSA ever heard: “Let the Wookiee win”? ---
**Author:** ![simster](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/simster/32/1047_2.png) [@simster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/simster)\ **Post date:** [June 11, 2013, 2:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/headlines-you-dont-read-every-day/660645/24 "2013-06-11T14:04:48Z")
> [@Northern\_Piper](#): > > You have forests in Kansas? > > Luxury. Up here, due north o’Kansas, we have plains. Lots and lots of plains. And a few poplar bluffs. are the poplar bluffs popular for people in the buff? ---
**Author:** ![Bricker](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/977dab/32.png) [@Bricker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bricker)\ **Post date:** [June 11, 2013, 3:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/headlines-you-dont-read-every-day/660645/25 "2013-06-11T15:04:57Z")
> [@Smeghead](#): > > Then the earth cooled. And along came dinosaurs, but they got too big and fat, so they died and turned into oil… Math, science, history, unravelling the mystery. ---
**Author:** ![Tapioca\_Dextrin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/3d9bf3/32.png) [@Tapioca\_Dextrin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tapioca_Dextrin)\ **Post date:** [June 11, 2013, 3:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/headlines-you-dont-read-every-day/660645/26 "2013-06-11T15:13:38Z")
[Man jailed for sprinkling pubic hair on curry to avoid payment](http://www.independent.co.uk/news/uk/crime/man-jailed-for-sprinkling-pubic-hair-on-curry-to-avoid-payment-8646027.html) ---
**Author:** ![Dr.Woo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/7c8e57/32.png) [@Dr.Woo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dr.Woo)\ **Post date:** [June 11, 2013, 5:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/headlines-you-dont-read-every-day/660645/27 "2013-06-11T17:42:38Z")
[Chili Finger Lady Back in Prison on Another Scam](http://www.mercurynews.com/ci_23392423/chili-finger-lady-back-prison-another-scam?IADID=Search-www.mercurynews.com-www.mercurynews.com) ---
**Author:** ![Satchmo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/satchmo/32/4223_2.png) [@Satchmo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Satchmo)\ **Post date:** [June 11, 2013, 6:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/headlines-you-dont-read-every-day/660645/28 "2013-06-11T18:36:39Z")
> [@Smeghead](#): > > Then the earth cooled. And along came dinosaurs, but they got too big and fat, so they died and turned into oil… “How 'bout some more coffee, Johnny?” ---
**Author:** ![Kimballkid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/b5a626/32.png) [@Kimballkid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kimballkid)\ **Post date:** [June 11, 2013, 7:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/headlines-you-dont-read-every-day/660645/29 "2013-06-11T19:32:56Z")
> [@Baker](#): > > The last place I’ld want to be naked is a forest. > > Bugs and poison ivy, thorns, more bugs, slimy worms, did I mention bugs? Ewwww. At least, since you are a woman, you wouldn’t have to worry about the hillbillies from Deliverance. ---
**Author:** ![The\_Mad\_Hermit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/b5ac83/32.png) [@The\_Mad\_Hermit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Mad_Hermit)\ **Post date:** [June 12, 2013, 4:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/headlines-you-dont-read-every-day/660645/30 "2013-06-12T04:35:04Z")
Years ago in my local college newspaper was a short article about vandalism to a man’s car, headlined **"Man’s nuts loosened."** ---
**Author:** ![Wallenstein](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/b5a626/32.png) [@Wallenstein](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wallenstein)\ **Post date:** [June 12, 2013, 10:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/headlines-you-dont-read-every-day/660645/31 "2013-06-12T10:29:02Z")
From a local paper in the east of England: **Man put melon through ex-partner’s cat-flap** A recent one doing the rounds in the UK (possibly a spoof): **Local man arrested for ‘twatting’ a heron** ---
**Author:** ![Colophon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/f05b48/32.png) [@Colophon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Colophon)\ **Post date:** [June 12, 2013, 10:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/headlines-you-dont-read-every-day/660645/32 "2013-06-12T10:45:14Z")
> [@Smeghead](#): > > I can’t think of any headlines that I DO read every day. **\ Jobs To Be Lost** **Police Arrest Protesters** and in the sports pages **England Outclassed** ---
**Author:** ![ThisSpaceForRent](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/thisspaceforrent/32/345_2.png) [@ThisSpaceForRent](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ThisSpaceForRent)\ **Post date:** [June 13, 2013, 5:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/headlines-you-dont-read-every-day/660645/33 "2013-06-13T17:25:44Z")
Damn it…you all are dicking around and all I can do is worry about the Naked 19 year old lost in the woods…we need to organise a search party STAT! ---
**Author:** ![Hershele\_Ostropoler](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/e47c2d/32.png) [@Hershele\_Ostropoler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hershele_Ostropoler)\ **Post date:** [June 13, 2013, 8:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/headlines-you-dont-read-every-day/660645/34 "2013-06-13T20:14:51Z")
Most headlines are one-offs, really. Something that happens every day stops being newsworthy after tha first couple of times. ---
**Author:** ![Ludovic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7ab992/32.png) [@Ludovic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ludovic)\ **Post date:** [June 13, 2013, 8:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/headlines-you-dont-read-every-day/660645/35 "2013-06-13T20:17:13Z")
A combination you don’t read every day: CNN: “Hero or Traitor?” Fox: “Hero or Traitor?” ---
**Author:** ![Don\_t\_Panic](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/don_t_panic/32/398_2.png) [@Don\_t\_Panic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Don_t_Panic)\ **Post date:** [June 13, 2013, 9:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/headlines-you-dont-read-every-day/660645/36 "2013-06-13T21:28:25Z")
> [@ThisSpaceForRent](#): > > Damn it…you all are dicking around and all I can do is worry about the Naked 19 year old lost in the woods…we need to organise a search party STAT! Well, at least she’ll be easy to spot. She’ll be the one with the fanny pack. ---
**Author:** ![CookingWithGas](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cookingwithgas/32/485_2.png) [@CookingWithGas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CookingWithGas)\ **Post date:** [June 15, 2013, 3:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/headlines-you-dont-read-every-day/660645/37 "2013-06-15T03:00:58Z")
> [@Smeghead](#): > > I can’t think of any headlines that I DO read every day. Here’s a headline you do see every day, or at least used to. IIRC, back in the early 1970s, Rolling Stone ran an article on a guy who collected articles from the New York Times. Dozens, maybe hundreds of them. They all had the same headline: Bus Plunge Each one was a small article, maybe the size of a classified ad, about injuries or deaths sustained when a bus ran off a road into a ravine or off a bridge in some remote area or Third World country. Apparently this happens all the time. ---
**Author:** ![njtt](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/ecd19e/32.png) [@njtt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/njtt)\ **Post date:** [June 15, 2013, 4:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/headlines-you-dont-read-every-day/660645/38 "2013-06-15T04:47:15Z")
**[Freddie Starr Ate My Hamster](http://tab.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/2013/03/freddie-starr.jpg)** I remember actually seeing this on the paper on sale at the newsagents. ---
**Author:** ![KneadToKnow](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kneadtoknow/32/3999_2.png) [@KneadToKnow](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/KneadToKnow)\ **Post date:** [June 15, 2013, 5:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/headlines-you-dont-read-every-day/660645/39 "2013-06-15T17:52:07Z")
> [@Wallenstein](#): > > From a local paper in the east of England: > > **Man put melon through ex-partner’s cat-flap** > > A recent one doing the rounds in the UK (possibly a spoof): > > **Local man arrested for ‘twatting’ a heron** [Charlotte’s Thirsty Beaver gets boxed in](http://www.charlotteobserver.com/2013/06/14/4106608/charlottes-thirsty-beaver-gets.html) ---
**Author:** ![Lynn\_Bodoni](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e47c2d/32.png) [@Lynn\_Bodoni](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lynn_Bodoni)\ **Post date:** [June 16, 2013, 11:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/headlines-you-dont-read-every-day/660645/40 "2013-06-16T11:06:39Z")
> [@Smeghead](#): > > I can’t think of any headlines that I DO read every day. Back when I took the Dallas Morning News every day in dead tree version, I’d frequently see a headline about a Dallas Cowboy being caught in another crime of some sort. On those days when the Boys were behaving themselves, then a city gummint official was caught with his or her hand in the cookie jar. On THOSE days, my husband and I would frequently look at each other, laugh, and say “I’m SO glad we live in Fort Worth!” [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/headlines-you-dont-read-every-day/660645.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/headlines-you-dont-read-every-day/660645.md?page=3)