# Headlines You Don't See Every Day **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [January 25, 2018, 11:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/headlines-you-dont-see-every-day/807492 "2018-01-25T23:27:03Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 16\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![bobot](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bobot/32/21622_2.png) [@bobot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bobot)\ **Post date:** [January 25, 2018, 11:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/headlines-you-dont-see-every-day/807492/1 "2018-01-25T23:27:03Z")
I’ve got one: ‘El Chapo’ promises not to kill any jurors from upcoming trial NEW YORK — The drug cartel boss known as “El Chapo” promises he won’t have any jurors from his upcoming federal trial killed. A lawyer for “El Chapo,” whose real name is Joaquin Guzman, filed a motion asking the jurors not be kept anonymous or under armed guard. > **[‘El Chapo’ promises not to kill any jurors from upcoming federal trial](https://wgntv.com/news/el-chapo-promises-not-to-kill-any-jurors/)** > > NEW YORK — The drug cartel boss known as “El Chapo” promises he won’t have any jurors from his upcoming federal trial killed. A lawyer for “El Chapo,” whose real… Seen any unusual headlines yourself? C’mon, share it/them! ---
**Author:** ![MEBuckner](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mebuckner/32/2896_2.png) [@MEBuckner](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MEBuckner)\ **Post date:** [January 26, 2018, 12:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/headlines-you-dont-see-every-day/807492/2 "2018-01-26T00:03:17Z")
Hmm. What about jurors’ immediate family members, other loved ones, or pets? Did El Chapo say anything about any of _them_? ---
**Author:** ![Slash1972](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/slash1972/32/6461_2.png) [@Slash1972](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Slash1972)\ **Post date:** [January 26, 2018, 2:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/headlines-you-dont-see-every-day/807492/3 "2018-01-26T02:27:49Z")
I saw that today and thought it was kind of strange. Best one I ever saw was “China Ferrari Sex Orgy Death Crash” ---
**Author:** ![Beckdawrek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/beckdawrek/32/3647_2.png) [@Beckdawrek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beckdawrek)\ **Post date:** [January 26, 2018, 8:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/headlines-you-dont-see-every-day/807492/4 "2018-01-26T08:41:49Z")
‘No News Is Good News’ ---
**Author:** ![ftg](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ftg/32/2801_2.png) [@ftg](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ftg)\ **Post date:** [January 26, 2018, 2:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/headlines-you-dont-see-every-day/807492/5 "2018-01-26T14:22:22Z")
The Fark tag for this [story](http://bangordailynews.com/2018/01/24/outdoors/maine-man-shoots-one-eyed-rabid-raccoon-that-holed-up-in-outhouse/) is “The most Maine headline ever”. You be the judge: “Maine man shoots one-eyed rabid raccoon that holed up in outhouse” ---
**Author:** ![Sailboat](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sailboat/32/461_2.png) [@Sailboat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sailboat)\ **Post date:** [January 26, 2018, 6:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/headlines-you-dont-see-every-day/807492/6 "2018-01-26T18:52:21Z")
**Ex-bouncy castle salesman from London now chief executioner for ISIS** [link](http://calgarysun.com/news/world/ex-bouncy-castle-salesman-from-london-now-chief-executioner-for-isis/wcm/75f6a46a-46a9-47bf-a3a0-458cd662fa42) ---
**Author:** ![Gatopescado](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gatopescado/32/5711_2.png) [@Gatopescado](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gatopescado)\ **Post date:** [January 26, 2018, 7:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/headlines-you-dont-see-every-day/807492/7 "2018-01-26T19:50:24Z")
> [@Sailboat](#): > > **Ex-bouncy castle salesman from London now chief executioner for ISIS** > > [link](http://calgarysun.com/news/world/ex-bouncy-castle-salesman-from-london-now-chief-executioner-for-isis/wcm/75f6a46a-46a9-47bf-a3a0-458cd662fa42) It was a lateral move. ---
**Author:** ![Lemur866](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lemur866/32/434_2.png) [@Lemur866](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lemur866)\ **Post date:** [January 26, 2018, 7:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/headlines-you-dont-see-every-day/807492/8 "2018-01-26T19:50:36Z")
The following thread participants will NOT be killed: Sailboat ftg Beckdawrek manson1972 bobot Gatopescado That is all. ---
**Author:** ![Lemur866](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lemur866/32/434_2.png) [@Lemur866](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lemur866)\ **Post date:** [January 26, 2018, 7:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/headlines-you-dont-see-every-day/807492/9 "2018-01-26T19:51:50Z")
Oh, and the headline I wanted to share: [Demoralized Trump aides grapple with ‘shithole’-gate](https://www.politico.com/story/2018/01/12/trump-shithole-comment-aides-react-337961) ---
**Author:** ![Tibby](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tibby/32/17030_2.png) [@Tibby](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tibby)\ **Post date:** [January 26, 2018, 11:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/headlines-you-dont-see-every-day/807492/10 "2018-01-26T23:18:43Z")
\*\*Headlines You Don’t See Every Day \*\* I always thought [this _ **head** _ line](https://thenypost.files.wordpress.com/2013/08/headless_body-300x300.jpg?quality=90&strip=all) was rather unique. ---
**Author:** ![Gatopescado](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gatopescado/32/5711_2.png) [@Gatopescado](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gatopescado)\ **Post date:** [January 27, 2018, 5:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/headlines-you-dont-see-every-day/807492/11 "2018-01-27T05:34:05Z")
Glad I made the edit. ---
**Author:** ![Beckdawrek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/beckdawrek/32/3647_2.png) [@Beckdawrek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beckdawrek)\ **Post date:** [January 27, 2018, 6:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/headlines-you-dont-see-every-day/807492/12 "2018-01-27T06:42:23Z")
“Gatopescado makes the Cut” (story on page three) ---
**Author:** ![SeniorCitizen007](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/8baadc/32.png) [@SeniorCitizen007](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SeniorCitizen007)\ **Post date:** [January 27, 2018, 10:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/headlines-you-dont-see-every-day/807492/13 "2018-01-27T10:08:29Z")
The British Sun newspaper had a picture of a footballer, arm raised wth his fist clenched, his face contorted in an aggressive expression, mouth wide open … tltled SWOLLEN DICKS OUT. His name was Dicks … he had a swollen ankle. This was on the back (sports) page. On the front page was a headline article about an unpleasant gang-rape. ---
**Author:** ![Toxgoddess](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/f08c70/32.png) [@Toxgoddess](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Toxgoddess)\ **Post date:** [January 27, 2018, 2:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/headlines-you-dont-see-every-day/807492/14 "2018-01-27T14:39:56Z")
From the staid, well-respected and long-standing British Science Journal _Nature_, which mostly prints highly specialized and jargon-filled science news and articles, Sept 26, 2012: **Buddhist “Iron Man” Found by Nazis From Space** It was about a statue made of meteoric iron that had been stolen during WWII. Somebody at the journal had fun with that one. ---
**Author:** ![SeniorCitizen007](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/8baadc/32.png) [@SeniorCitizen007](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SeniorCitizen007)\ **Post date:** [January 27, 2018, 4:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/headlines-you-dont-see-every-day/807492/15 "2018-01-27T16:21:35Z")
The British newspaper The Independent had a two line, front-page headline title to an article about a government minister in which underneath the word BLOW in the top line the second line had the word JOBS. Further into the paper there was another unconnected article in which a comment was made about women who can be relied upon to “swallow”. ---
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [January 27, 2018, 6:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/headlines-you-dont-see-every-day/807492/16 "2018-01-27T18:08:24Z")
[Woman named DAISY COWIT plows her car into herd of 50 cows ‘while texting’](http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2487562/Woman-named-DAISY-COWIT-plows-car-herd-50-cows-texting.html) Daisy Cowit slams into cows?