# health insurance question **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [November 5, 2009, 11:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/health-insurance-question/516484 "2009-11-05T23:10:22Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 13\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![goBuffalo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/e47774/32.png) [@goBuffalo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/goBuffalo)\ **Post date:** [November 5, 2009, 11:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/health-insurance-question/516484/1 "2009-11-05T23:10:22Z")
Hey all, my employer offers health insurance for domestic partners, but I am afraid to take them up on the offer, as some of my co-workers, managers, etc are a little conservative. Is it private between myself and the insurance agency who is on my plan or is it something that could end up getting me fired? Thanks! ---
**Author:** ![wonky](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wonky/32/393_2.png) [@wonky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wonky)\ **Post date:** [November 5, 2009, 11:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/health-insurance-question/516484/2 "2009-11-05T23:51:03Z")
> [@ceen284](#): > > Hey all, > > my employer offers health insurance for domestic partners, but I am afraid to take them up on the offer, as some of my co-workers, managers, etc are a little conservative. Is it private between myself and the insurance agency who is on my plan or is it something that could end up getting me fired? > > Thanks! Someone at your workplace would end up knowing, unless your insurance company handles things much differently than ours. We receive notifications about added or dropped dependents, and phone calls for clarification about dependents, etc. Insurance companies don’t seem to make any effort whatsoever to be discreet. ---
**Author:** ![Eva\_Luna](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/e495f1/32.png) [@Eva\_Luna](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eva_Luna)\ **Post date:** [November 6, 2009, 12:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/health-insurance-question/516484/3 "2009-11-06T00:51:02Z")
I’m assuming your employer deals with deduction your portion of the insurance premium from your paycheck and subsidizes it, at least your portion (if not the domestic partner’s portion). I can’t think how you could cover your partner without them knowing. When I had to do this, we had to sign a notarized domestic partnership affidavit (which basically just said that we were both over 18, had been living together in a mutually dependent relationship “resembling marriage,” whatever that means, for at least 6 months, and weren’t in a partnership with anyone else. Oh, and that we would inform them if the partnership ended.) If your employer is flexible enough even to offer the coverage (when I last checked, only about 10% of US employers do), chances are nobody will care. If your HR rep does, too damn bad, as far as I’m concerned. ---
**Author:** ![Antinor01](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecae2f/32.png) [@Antinor01](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Antinor01)\ **Post date:** [November 6, 2009, 12:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/health-insurance-question/516484/4 "2009-11-06T00:51:08Z")
In general it will be between you, the insurance company, payroll and HR. No one else would have a need to know. ---
**Author:** ![goBuffalo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/e47774/32.png) [@goBuffalo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/goBuffalo)\ **Post date:** [November 6, 2009, 1:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/health-insurance-question/516484/5 "2009-11-06T01:07:07Z")
I see…hmm…this is a tough decision. I report to someone directly under the CFO, so it might be a problem. Blah. Thanks guys ---
**Author:** ![panache45](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/panache45/32/64_2.png) [@panache45](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panache45)\ **Post date:** [November 6, 2009, 6:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/health-insurance-question/516484/6 "2009-11-06T06:31:25Z")
> [@ceen284](#): > > I see…hmm..this is a tough decision. I report to someone directly under the CFO, so it might be a problem. Blah. > > Thanks guys Then talk directly to the CFO, and ask about confidentiality. ---
**Author:** ![goBuffalo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/e47774/32.png) [@goBuffalo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/goBuffalo)\ **Post date:** [November 6, 2009, 3:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/health-insurance-question/516484/7 "2009-11-06T15:58:13Z")
yeah…that won’t work. I think I am going to keep us on separate plans. Thanks ---
**Author:** ![Gus\_Gusterson](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/85f322/32.png) [@Gus\_Gusterson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gus_Gusterson)\ **Post date:** [November 6, 2009, 4:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/health-insurance-question/516484/8 "2009-11-06T16:13:02Z")
I would bet that you’re underestimating your co-workers. Besides, if you do suffer some fall-out from it, you have the basis of an excellent lawsuit. I’m sure that the CFO doesn’t check a list to see who is on what health plan. Why would he? ---
**Author:** ![goBuffalo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/e47774/32.png) [@goBuffalo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/goBuffalo)\ **Post date:** [November 6, 2009, 4:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/health-insurance-question/516484/9 "2009-11-06T16:21:00Z")
> [@Gus\_Gusterson](#): > > I would bet that you’re underestimating your co-workers. Besides, if you do suffer some fall-out from it, you have the basis of an excellent lawsuit. I’m sure that the CFO doesn’t check a list to see who is on what health plan. Why would he? Yeah, I am probably being too careful-it’s just a small division and I dont want to be judged on anything other than my performance and saw some warning flags. ---
**Author:** ![Markxxx](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/5daacb/32.png) [@Markxxx](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Markxxx)\ **Post date:** [November 6, 2009, 8:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/health-insurance-question/516484/10 "2009-11-06T20:25:24Z")
I can understand how this can happen. I work in hotels and though it’s better now over the last 25 years things have changed. I’m gay and it would be fine with one manager but the next would hate it and have it in for you. As for the OP it depends on the company you work for. For instance, I worked for Starwood Hotels and they offered benefits for “defactos” as it was termed. No one cared. Of course H/R and payroll knew but the day to day managers and department heads wouldn’t know who was on your coverage. Would H/R tell if a manager asked? Perhaps, depends on the head of H/R. I was the system admin so I had access to everything on every computer and I was told any disclosure of any personal information could result in my immediate dismissal. But you know how that goes, it’s company policy. I suppose you could ask H/R but then again, sometimes calling attention to an issue will create one when none would’ve existed if you ignored it. My best guess would be management would not find out, but they COULD if they wanted to. H/R and Accounting would be able to tell 'cause the premiums would go through both of them ---
**Author:** ![Emmy2635](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/919ad9/32.png) [@Emmy2635](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Emmy2635)\ **Post date:** [November 7, 2009, 1:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/health-insurance-question/516484/11 "2009-11-07T01:35:36Z")
What state are you in? Some states have laws prohibiting discrimination based on sexual orientation. ---
**Author:** ![goBuffalo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/e47774/32.png) [@goBuffalo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/goBuffalo)\ **Post date:** [November 7, 2009, 1:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/health-insurance-question/516484/12 "2009-11-07T01:57:19Z")
> [@Emmy2635](#): > > What state are you in? Some states have laws prohibiting discrimination based on sexual orientation. Hi Emmy, I am in New York 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Emmy2635](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/919ad9/32.png) [@Emmy2635](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Emmy2635)\ **Post date:** [November 7, 2009, 2:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/health-insurance-question/516484/13 "2009-11-07T14:44:36Z")
> [@ceen284](#): > > Hi Emmy, > > I am in New York 🙂 NY state does prohibit discrimination based on sexual orientation. That doesn’t mean that your company won’t do it – just that you have some recourse if they do.