# Heather Graham - the female Keanu Reeves **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [May 10, 2007, 7:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/heather-graham-the-female-keanu-reeves/403581 "2007-05-10T19:13:34Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![pbbth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/f9ae1b/32.png) [@pbbth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pbbth)\ **Post date:** [May 11, 2007, 3:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/heather-graham-the-female-keanu-reeves/403581/21 "2007-05-11T03:58:43Z")
Heather is such a bad actress she was not even convincing playing herself in an episode of Sex and the City. It hurts my soul to know that she keeps getting work. ---
**Author:** ![Dr.Rieux](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/aeb1de/32.png) [@Dr.Rieux](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dr.Rieux)\ **Post date:** [May 11, 2007, 5:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/heather-graham-the-female-keanu-reeves/403581/22 "2007-05-11T05:06:31Z")
She was good in _Bowfinger_. ---
**Author:** ![Alessan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/alessan/32/465_2.png) [@Alessan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Alessan)\ **Post date:** [May 11, 2007, 5:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/heather-graham-the-female-keanu-reeves/403581/23 "2007-05-11T05:54:38Z")
To paraphrase Terry Pratchett (from _Maskerade_), Keanu has star quality. That’s much rarer than talent. ---
**Author:** ![Little\_Nemo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/little_nemo/32/3120_2.png) [@Little\_Nemo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Nemo)\ **Post date:** [May 11, 2007, 8:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/heather-graham-the-female-keanu-reeves/403581/24 "2007-05-11T08:54:45Z")
You have to give Graham credit for _Emily’s Reasons Why Not_. I, for one, never missed an episode. ---
**Author:** ![Contrapuntal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e274bd/32.png) [@Contrapuntal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Contrapuntal)\ **Post date:** [May 11, 2007, 10:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/heather-graham-the-female-keanu-reeves/403581/25 "2007-05-11T10:45:49Z")
I thought she was quite good in _From Hell_. _Scrubs_ as well. ---
**Author:** ![Trunk](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/87869e/32.png) [@Trunk](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Trunk)\ **Post date:** [May 11, 2007, 11:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/heather-graham-the-female-keanu-reeves/403581/26 "2007-05-11T11:14:39Z")
[QUOTE=Wee Bairn] I noticed here complete lack of acting ability in Austin Powers, but thought maybe that’s how they wanted her to be. Her reactions and line delivery, especially in the scene where Fat Bastard is in his UPS outfit, look like a read through they left in on accident. [/QUOTE] Same here. She was absolutely terrible in that. She sounded like a kid in a high school play delivering lines. I think she’s a terrible terrible actress. . .and not nearly hot enough to make up for it. She had all these jokes lines like “Shagwell by name, shag-very-well by reputation.” and every time you could just feel the joking coming – like she was elbowing you and nodding so you wouldn’t miss. Then, she’d practically pause for laughter after each one. At the very least, she shouldn’t be doing comedy. ---
**Author:** ![mamboman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ecb155/32.png) [@mamboman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mamboman)\ **Post date:** [May 11, 2007, 11:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/heather-graham-the-female-keanu-reeves/403581/27 "2007-05-11T11:43:20Z")
She’ll never be the worst actress in Hollywood - not while Nicole Kidman still walks the earth. mm ---
**Author:** ![Nutty\_Bunny](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/d07c76/32.png) [@Nutty\_Bunny](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nutty_Bunny)\ **Post date:** [May 11, 2007, 11:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/heather-graham-the-female-keanu-reeves/403581/28 "2007-05-11T11:56:30Z")
[QUOTE=Little Nemo] You have to give Graham credit for _Emily’s Reasons Why Not_. I, for one, never missed an episode. [/QUOTE] Really? All 2 of them? I couldn’t make it 5 minutes. I never notice good or bad acting, but when it’s as strikingly bad as Graham’s, even \*I \* can notice it. ---
**Author:** ![Little\_Nemo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/little_nemo/32/3120_2.png) [@Little\_Nemo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Nemo)\ **Post date:** [May 11, 2007, 12:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/heather-graham-the-female-keanu-reeves/403581/29 "2007-05-11T12:08:15Z")
> [@](#): > > Really? All 2 of them? I couldn’t make it 5 minutes. There weren’t two episodes. It was cancelled after the first episode. ---
**Author:** ![Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecccb3/32.png) [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skald_the_Rhymer)\ **Post date:** [May 11, 2007, 12:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/heather-graham-the-female-keanu-reeves/403581/30 "2007-05-11T12:22:53Z")
Count me as another Graham fan, at least insofar as her Scrubs work shows. Not only is she absurdly hot, but she nailed the character of Molly, who was supposed to be this smart but very strange person–a high-functioning ditz. She did make Sarah Chalke look plain, though. But she does that to everyone. ---
**Author:** ![Dinsdale](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/97f17d/32.png) [@Dinsdale](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dinsdale)\ **Post date:** [May 11, 2007, 1:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/heather-graham-the-female-keanu-reeves/403581/31 "2007-05-11T13:52:19Z")
[QUOTE=Ellis Dee] Give some credit to George Lucas for proving to the world that there is no such thing as bad actors; only bad directors. [/QUOTE] I’m confused - does this mean Kevin Costner qualifies twice? ---
**Author:** ![KneadToKnow](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kneadtoknow/32/3999_2.png) [@KneadToKnow](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/KneadToKnow)\ **Post date:** [May 11, 2007, 1:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/heather-graham-the-female-keanu-reeves/403581/32 "2007-05-11T13:55:25Z")
[QUOTE=Dr. Rieux] She was good in _Bowfinger_. [/QUOTE] You are permanently disqualified from offering opinions on this or any other film-related matter in perpetuity. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Poysyn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/f4b2a3/32.png) [@Poysyn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Poysyn)\ **Post date:** [May 11, 2007, 2:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/heather-graham-the-female-keanu-reeves/403581/33 "2007-05-11T14:32:15Z")
[QUOTE=spooje] Watching him attempt Shakespeare was truly painful, but he was quite good in \*My Own Private Idaho \* and \*River’s Edge \* and _Parenthood_. [/QUOTE] And yet live on stage he was a good Hamlet. ---
**Author:** ![Cervaise](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cervaise/32/16693_2.png) [@Cervaise](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cervaise)\ **Post date:** [May 11, 2007, 2:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/heather-graham-the-female-keanu-reeves/403581/34 "2007-05-11T14:40:01Z")
[QUOTE=Dr. Rieux] She was good in _Bowfinger_. [/QUOTE] I have a vague memory of her being sort of, but not entirely, naked in this. Is that why I remember liking her performance? 😉 ---
**Author:** ![don\_t\_ask](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e68b1a/32.png) [@don\_t\_ask](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/don_t_ask)\ **Post date:** [May 11, 2007, 2:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/heather-graham-the-female-keanu-reeves/403581/35 "2007-05-11T14:46:48Z")
In a recent discussion about wooden actors I compared Keanu Reeves to Victor Manure and I think he’s as close as you can get. ---
**Author:** ![RickJay](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/bb73d2/32.png) [@RickJay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RickJay)\ **Post date:** [May 11, 2007, 2:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/heather-graham-the-female-keanu-reeves/403581/36 "2007-05-11T14:47:21Z")
[QUOTE=mamboman] She’ll never be the worst actress in Hollywood - not while Nicole Kidman still walks the earth. mm [/QUOTE] Nicole Kidman? She may be an airhead, but she’s done some fine work. The worst actual professional actress I’ve ever seen with significant roles in Hollywood films is Rebecca Pidgeon. She’s just astroundingly bad. You don’t know bad acting if you’re suggesting Nicole Kidman is .0001% as bad as her. And I disagree that Graham was good as Molly in “Scrubs.” I get that she was supposed to be a wise fool, but she was really bad at it. It’s all a Grade 6 school play when Heather’s talking. Sarah Chalke isn’t exactly the greatest actress who ever lived but next to Graham she looked like Meryl Streep. ---
**Author:** ![Gangster\_Octopus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/a8b319/32.png) [@Gangster\_Octopus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gangster_Octopus)\ **Post date:** [May 11, 2007, 2:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/heather-graham-the-female-keanu-reeves/403581/37 "2007-05-11T14:47:37Z")
She was pretty good in _Swingers_, but it was a very small part. ---
**Author:** ![Least\_Original\_User\_Name\_Ever](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e480ec/32.png) [@Least\_Original\_User\_Name\_Ever](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Least_Original_User_Name_Ever)\ **Post date:** [May 11, 2007, 3:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/heather-graham-the-female-keanu-reeves/403581/38 "2007-05-11T15:35:08Z")
Yes, but Keanu knows kung-fu. Can Heather Graham or any of her characters say that? Noooooooooooo they can’t. Unfortunately, Heather Graham has ginormous boobies and she’s very pretty. Kung-fu all you want, Keanu. You can’t stop the boobies. Seriously, though, I think the comparison is apt. Keanu gets a higher billing for a couple of reasons: 1) The Matrix 2) he’s a guy. Guys get paid better in film, especially guys that have been in The Matrix, because he was in such a huge movie. Going along with what some people said, Heather Graham, in some quantities, isn’t too bad at all. Sure, they’re pretty spread apart, but what are ya gonna do? ---
**Author:** ![VinylTurnip](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/b2d939/32.png) [@VinylTurnip](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/VinylTurnip)\ **Post date:** [May 11, 2007, 3:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/heather-graham-the-female-keanu-reeves/403581/39 "2007-05-11T15:39:34Z")
[QUOTE=RickJay] Nicole Kidman? She may be an airhead, but she’s done some fine work. The worst actual professional actress I’ve ever seen with significant roles in Hollywood films is Rebecca Pidgeon. [/QUOTE] Wow, I was just about to offer her as a counter-example. But since she’s taken, how about [Maxine Bahns](http://us.imdb.com/name/nm0000827/)? [Theresa Russell](http://us.imdb.com/name/nm0000622/) has also phoned in some cringe-worthy performances. I’m not really a fan, but there’s plenty of room in the barrel below Nicole Kidman. ---
**Author:** ![gigi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/a587f6/32.png) [@gigi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gigi)\ **Post date:** [May 11, 2007, 4:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/heather-graham-the-female-keanu-reeves/403581/40 "2007-05-11T16:04:37Z")
I would have to say Andie McDowell. She shitted all over Four Weddings and a Funeral the way Keanu Reeves shitted all over Much Ado About Nothing. Luckily she didn’t ruin Short Cuts since her catatonic style worked for the role of a dazed mom. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/heather-graham-the-female-keanu-reeves/403581.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/heather-graham-the-female-keanu-reeves/403581.md?page=3)