# Heather Graham - the female Keanu Reeves **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [May 10, 2007, 7:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/heather-graham-the-female-keanu-reeves/403581 "2007-05-10T19:13:34Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 17\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![whole\_bean](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/96bed5/32.png) [@whole\_bean](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/whole_bean)\ **Post date:** [May 11, 2007, 7:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/heather-graham-the-female-keanu-reeves/403581/41 "2007-05-11T19:24:47Z")
Keanu was good in _Bill & Ted_’s and _Parenthood_. He played a goofball space cadet in each. Graham was good in _Swingers_, _Boogie Nights_, _Goldfinger_, and the _Scrubs_ episodes. She has never been as bad as Keanu in _Devil’s Advocate_ and the fact that she is not associated with the celluloid abortion that is \*Point Break \* means she cannot even be compared to the head bobbing -nu. ---
**Author:** ![sparklemotion](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a8b319/32.png) [@sparklemotion](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sparklemotion)\ **Post date:** [May 11, 2007, 7:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/heather-graham-the-female-keanu-reeves/403581/42 "2007-05-11T19:38:43Z")
To me, I can see how she’s supposed to be pretty, but there is just something so dead about her eyes. It’s kind of like she doesn’t have a soul. ---
**Author:** ![Fish](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/bc8723/32.png) [@Fish](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fish)\ **Post date:** [May 11, 2007, 7:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/heather-graham-the-female-keanu-reeves/403581/43 "2007-05-11T19:43:57Z")
So to paraphrase what may once have been said about Alan Ladd — Heather Graham has two expressions: clothes on, and clothes off. ---
**Author:** ![KneadToKnow](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kneadtoknow/32/3999_2.png) [@KneadToKnow](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/KneadToKnow)\ **Post date:** [May 11, 2007, 7:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/heather-graham-the-female-keanu-reeves/403581/44 "2007-05-11T19:56:43Z")
She has eyes? ---
**Author:** ![Nutty\_Bunny](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/d07c76/32.png) [@Nutty\_Bunny](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nutty_Bunny)\ **Post date:** [May 11, 2007, 7:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/heather-graham-the-female-keanu-reeves/403581/45 "2007-05-11T19:56:55Z")
[QUOTE=Little Nemo] There weren’t two episodes. It was cancelled after the first episode. [/QUOTE] God, I assumed it at least made it to 2 episodes! :smack: ---
**Author:** ![JThunder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/e95f7d/32.png) [@JThunder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JThunder)\ **Post date:** [May 11, 2007, 8:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/heather-graham-the-female-keanu-reeves/403581/46 "2007-05-11T20:11:37Z")
[QUOTE=sparklemotion] To me, I can see how she’s supposed to be pretty, but there is just something so dead about her eyes. It’s kind of like she doesn’t have a soul. [/QUOTE] Like I care. ---
**Author:** ![Cervaise](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cervaise/32/16693_2.png) [@Cervaise](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cervaise)\ **Post date:** [May 11, 2007, 8:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/heather-graham-the-female-keanu-reeves/403581/47 "2007-05-11T20:35:05Z")
[QUOTE=sparklemotion] It’s kind of like she doesn’t have a soul. [/QUOTE] True. But she has no soul with great tits! ---
**Author:** ![sparklemotion](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a8b319/32.png) [@sparklemotion](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sparklemotion)\ **Post date:** [May 11, 2007, 8:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/heather-graham-the-female-keanu-reeves/403581/48 "2007-05-11T20:37:27Z")
Her wonderful boobs don’t interest me as much as you guys! I think the lack of soul is a big part of why she is such a terrible actress. She just kind of seems like a pretty automaton reading off of cue cards. She would have been much better as a Fembot in Austin Powers. ---
**Author:** ![Captain\_Lance\_Murdoch](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/47e85d/32.png) [@Captain\_Lance\_Murdoch](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Captain_Lance_Murdoch)\ **Post date:** [May 11, 2007, 8:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/heather-graham-the-female-keanu-reeves/403581/49 "2007-05-11T20:53:02Z")
Here in Minneapolis there was a stage production of Point Break last year. The Keanu Reeves role was left uncast. Every night they would randomly grab some guy out of the audience and have him play the part. They would hold up cue cards and he would read all his lines as he went. This was done to reproduce Reeves’ wooden line delivery. ---
**Author:** ![Roboto](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/b77776/32.png) [@Roboto](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Roboto)\ **Post date:** [May 11, 2007, 9:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/heather-graham-the-female-keanu-reeves/403581/50 "2007-05-11T21:50:13Z")
[QUOTE=Captain Lance Murdoch] Here in Minneapolis there was a stage production of Point Break last year. The Keanu Reeves role was left uncast. Every night they would randomly grab some guy out of the audience and have him play the part. They would hold up cue cards and he would read all his lines as he went. This was done to reproduce Reeves’ wooden line delivery. [/QUOTE] THIS IS HILARIOUS! The idea of having Point Break as a play is genious in it’s own right. But to also have a random audience member play the part of Keanu? Brilliant.\* \*A pet peeve of mine is when people describe art as “brilliant” (I don’t konw why, it just does), but for some reason, I could think of no other words for what you described. ---
**Author:** ![kelly5078](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/6f9a4e/32.png) [@kelly5078](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kelly5078)\ **Post date:** [May 11, 2007, 10:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/heather-graham-the-female-keanu-reeves/403581/51 "2007-05-11T22:49:39Z")
I can’t really understand how anyone could think Nicole Kidman is a bad actress. Or an airhead, in spite of her having been married to Tom Cruise. Her work in “The Hours” and “Eyes Wide Shut” is impeccable. Even though her accent was a bit off, she was also effective in “Cold Mountain.” True, Renee Zellweger outshone her, but she also had more to work with. Even in lesser movies like “The Others” (artistically lesser, anyway, even if it did good box office) and “Practical Magic,” she delivered solid performances. I’m not saying she’s Meryl Streep or Emma Thompson, but to lump her with Heather Graham is absurd. ---
**Author:** ![NDP](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ndp/32/55_2.png) [@NDP](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/NDP)\ **Post date:** [May 11, 2007, 10:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/heather-graham-the-female-keanu-reeves/403581/52 "2007-05-11T22:54:59Z")
[QUOTE=KneadToKnow] She has eyes? [/QUOTE] Yes. Granted, they’re not her most prominent physical feature but they’re big and blue and some people find that combination attractive. [QUOTE=Trunk] Same here. She was absolutely terrible in that. She sounded like a kid in a high school play delivering lines. I think she’s a terrible terrible actress. . .and not nearly hot enough to make up for it. She had all these jokes lines like “Shagwell by name, shag-very-well by reputation.” and every time you could just feel the joking coming – like she was elbowing you and nodding so you wouldn’t miss. Then, she’d practically pause for laughter after each one. [/QUOTE] I think Heather Graham is a rather hit-or-miss performer. I liked her in \*\*Boogie Nights \*\* and **Bowfinger** but her performance **Austin Powers** really made me miss Elizabeth Hurley. As for being the female Keanu Reeves, I don’t think that’s completely accurate; she does seem to have more inflection to her voice than Reeves does. Aside from that, they are alike in that they come across (both on-screen and off) as not exactly being the sharpest knives in the drawer. ---
**Author:** ![Least\_Original\_User\_Name\_Ever](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e480ec/32.png) [@Least\_Original\_User\_Name\_Ever](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Least_Original_User_Name_Ever)\ **Post date:** [May 11, 2007, 11:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/heather-graham-the-female-keanu-reeves/403581/53 "2007-05-11T23:53:32Z")
[QUOTE=Captain Lance Murdoch] Here in Minneapolis there was a stage production of Point Break last year. The Keanu Reeves role was left uncast. Every night they would randomly grab some guy out of the audience and have him play the part. They would hold up cue cards and he would read all his lines as he went. This was done to reproduce Reeves’ wooden line delivery. [/QUOTE] That’s spot-on. Do they do other movies, or was it a one-time deal? ---
**Author:** ![Johnny\_Hildo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/bbce88/32.png) [@Johnny\_Hildo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_Hildo)\ **Post date:** [May 15, 2007, 7:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/heather-graham-the-female-keanu-reeves/403581/54 "2007-05-15T07:59:48Z")
[QUOTE=RickJay] The worst actual professional actress I’ve ever seen with significant roles in Hollywood films is Rebecca Pidgeon. She’s just astroundingly bad. [/QUOTE] Ah, yes. The actress whose only reason for working is that her husband is the director. See also: [Victoria Foyt](http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0289439/) I could give or take Heather Graham until tonight when I watched one of the most excruciatingly painful pieces of shit ever: [Committed.](http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0144142/) How the FUCK did that piece of crap get a cast like that? Boggles my mind. ---
**Author:** ![Little\_Nemo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/little_nemo/32/3120_2.png) [@Little\_Nemo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Nemo)\ **Post date:** [May 15, 2007, 9:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/heather-graham-the-female-keanu-reeves/403581/55 "2007-05-15T09:19:29Z")
I’m surprised by how many movies Graham has been in. For one thing, I hadn’t realized she’s 37. _Boogie Nights_, the first movie I recall her in, was actually her 22nd movie and was made when she was 27. Apparently I missed the first decade of her career. ---
**Author:** ![EllisDee](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ellisdee/32/4531_2.png) [@EllisDee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/EllisDee)\ **Post date:** [May 15, 2007, 1:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/heather-graham-the-female-keanu-reeves/403581/56 "2007-05-15T13:54:28Z")
She’s been around since the 80s. She was “the girl” in a Coreys (Feldman & Haim) movie fercryinoutloud. (License to Drive.) I don’t hold that one against her, though, much like I don’t hold that QB movie with Anthony Michael Hall against Uma Thurman. As soon as Graham became old enough that her parents no longer got to veto her roles, she made a bee-line for more adult fare. Her first selection? Drugstore Cowboy. ---
**Author:** ![Ukulele\_Ike](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/df788c/32.png) [@Ukulele\_Ike](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ukulele_Ike)\ **Post date:** [May 16, 2007, 1:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/heather-graham-the-female-keanu-reeves/403581/57 "2007-05-16T01:06:29Z")
…so, Heather Graham appears in some movie somewhere wearing nothing but roller skates? (nonchalant) Ya don’t say…You know, I don’t think I’ve ever SEEN that particular film… (whistles) [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/heather-graham-the-female-keanu-reeves/403581.md?page=2)