# Heaven, Hell, and your spouse... **URL:** \ **Category:** Great Debates\ **Created:** [March 20, 2002, 2:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/heaven-hell-and-your-spouse/99209 "2002-03-20T14:34:26Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 17\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Chekmate](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/46a35a/32.png) [@Chekmate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chekmate)\ **Post date:** [March 20, 2002, 2:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/heaven-hell-and-your-spouse/99209/1 "2002-03-20T14:34:26Z")
I’ve read somewhere (no cite… sorry) that if a Chrisitian marries a non-Christian, that that person was automatically saved. Now, thinking of this started the hampster running in the little wheel in my head, and I came up with this: If one person in a loving relationship was sent to hell, and the other to heaven, would it really be heaven for the Christian? I don’t imagine being completly happy (as you’re supposed to be in heaven) knowing that the one that I loved with all my heart was somewhere else, burning in hell for all eternity, and that I’d never get to see them again. Now, lets flip it around and say that they were both sent to hell, the Non Christian for not believing, and the Christian for marrying a non-Christian, and defying scripture. I don’t imagine it being complete and utter torment knowing that I would get to spend all eternity with the one I love, even if it is in Hell. So, I would have to conclude that in this situation, in order for heaven to be perfect happiness they both go to heaven, and the non-believing spouse gets a free ticket. That, or Heaven isn’t as good as it supposedly is, or Hell isn’t as bad as it supposedly is. Whaddya think? ---
**Author:** ![sghoul](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/3ec8ea/32.png) [@sghoul](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sghoul)\ **Post date:** [March 20, 2002, 2:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/heaven-hell-and-your-spouse/99209/2 "2002-03-20T14:42:05Z")
Well, first off, I don’t know of any Biblical support for your spouse being automatically saved when you get married. As for being happy if you go and they don’t, the belief is that being in God’s presence would keep you happy. The love you feel for a person here is nothing compared to the Love of God. And for the Hell scenario, I don’t care how much you “love” someone, I think an eternity of the worst imaginable would override that. Besides, many people’s “love” has trouble lasting our short lifetimes. What do you think the percentage of people who’s love last for eternity is? And, if Hell is REAL bad, who says you would ever get to SEE your beloved? ---
**Author:** ![KellyM](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/57b2e6/32.png) [@KellyM](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/KellyM)\ **Post date:** [March 20, 2002, 2:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/heaven-hell-and-your-spouse/99209/3 "2002-03-20T14:54:36Z")
I refuse to believe in a god that would condemn anyone to eternal torment, so I don’t have to worry about these issues. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Duck\_Duck\_Goose](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/50afbb/32.png) [@Duck\_Duck\_Goose](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Duck_Duck_Goose)\ **Post date:** [March 20, 2002, 2:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/heaven-hell-and-your-spouse/99209/4 "2002-03-20T14:57:49Z")
> [@](#): > > _originally posted by Chekmate:_ > \*\*I’ve read somewhere (no cite… sorry) that if a Chrisitian marries a non-Christian, that that person was automatically saved. \*\* Eh, that’s probably a misunderstanding of I Corinthians 7:14 (from [Bible Gateway](http://bible.gospelcom.net/cgi-bin/bible?passage=1COR+7&language=english&version=NIV-IBS&showfn=on&showxref=on): > [@](#): > > 12 To the rest I say this (I, not the Lord): If any brother has a wife who is not a believer and she is willing to live with him, he must not divorce her. 13 And if a woman has a husband who is not a believer and he is willing to live with her, she must not divorce him. 14 \*\*For the unbelieving husband has been sanctified through his wife, and the unbelieving wife has been sanctified through her believing husband. \*\* Otherwise your children would be unclean, but as it is, they are holy. > > 15 But if the unbeliever leaves, let him do so. A believing man or woman is not bound in such circumstances; God has called us to live in peace. 16 How do you know, wife, whether you will save your husband? Or, how do you know, husband, whether you will save your wife? It’s not saying, “If a Christian marries a non-Christian, the new spouse is automatically ‘saved’.” You have to take the entire passage in context, and then it’s just saying, “Don’t get divorced just because your spouse becomes a Christian. Having one-half of the husband-and-wife team be a Christian sanctifies the whole family”, “sanctifies” as in “makes holier than a family in which nobody at all is a Christian”. And if the Christian spouse leaves the relationship, then there’s no opportunity to “save” the other half of the team. The only thing that can “save” a person is confession of belief in Jesus Christ as his or her Personal Savior, not merely being married to someone who’s a Christian. ---
**Author:** ![grimpixie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/ecb155/32.png) [@grimpixie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/grimpixie)\ **Post date:** [March 20, 2002, 2:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/heaven-hell-and-your-spouse/99209/5 "2002-03-20T14:58:23Z")
This may well be the passage you are thinking of: > [@](#): > > [sup]10[/sup]To the married I give this command (not I, but the Lord): A wife must not separate from her husband. [sup]11[/sup]But if she does, she must remain unmarried or else be reconciled to her husband. And a husband must not divorce his wife. [sup]12[/sup]To the rest I say this (I, not the Lord): If any brother has a wife who is not a believer and she is willing to live with him, he must not divorce her. [sup]13[/sup]And if a woman has a husband who is not a believer and he is willing to live with her, she must not divorce him. [sup]14[/sup]For the unbelieving husband has been sanctified through his wife, and the unbelieving wife has been sanctified through her believing husband. Otherwise your children would be unclean, but as it is, they are holy. Since Paul makes it clear that it is his own opinion that he is expressing here, I am not sure that we should interpret it literally… ---
**Author:** ![grimpixie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/ecb155/32.png) [@grimpixie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/grimpixie)\ **Post date:** [March 20, 2002, 3:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/heaven-hell-and-your-spouse/99209/6 "2002-03-20T15:02:53Z")
DDG is quickest off the mark!! 🙂 I guess that verse 16 is the key - wives and husbands are in a unique position to influence each other’s lives, and it may well be that the Christian spouse will bring the Non-Christian spouse to a position of belief by his/her own faith/witness. Gp ---
**Author:** ![Monty](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/monty/32/47_2.png) [@Monty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Monty)\ **Post date:** [March 20, 2002, 3:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/heaven-hell-and-your-spouse/99209/7 "2002-03-20T15:04:25Z")
Chekmate, There is a wide variety of belief throughout the huge number of Christian denominations. Not all denominations have the same take on the following verse: > [@](#): > > 1 Cor 7:14 > For the unbelieving husband is sanctified by the wife, and the unbelieving wife is sanctified by the husband: else were your children unclean; but now are they holy. If you read the run-up to it, you will notice that it is referring to the fact of the marriage remaining valid. There are verses in the Old and New Testament that are interpreted as forbidding inter-faith marriages. Again, not all denominations interpret those that way either. But, in this case, “sanctified by the wife” clearly refers to “holy matrimony.” ---
**Author:** ![Duck\_Duck\_Goose](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/50afbb/32.png) [@Duck\_Duck\_Goose](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Duck_Duck_Goose)\ **Post date:** [March 20, 2002, 3:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/heaven-hell-and-your-spouse/99209/8 "2002-03-20T15:04:33Z")
And BTW, > [@](#): > > Since Paul makes it clear that it is his own opinion that he is expressing here Um, no… > [@](#): > > 10 To the married I give this command **(not I, but the Lord)…** I know it’s fashionable to decry Paul’s writings as the blatherings of a male chauvinist pig, but I find it hard to dismiss this. ---
**Author:** ![grimpixie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/ecb155/32.png) [@grimpixie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/grimpixie)\ **Post date:** [March 20, 2002, 3:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/heaven-hell-and-your-spouse/99209/9 "2002-03-20T15:12:39Z")
Well, Verse 14 comes after: > [@](#): > > [sup]12[/sup]To the rest I say this **(I, not the Lord)** so one could assume it was his own ideas he was expressing… Gp ---
**Author:** ![Homebrew](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/c89c15/32.png) [@Homebrew](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Homebrew)\ **Post date:** [March 20, 2002, 3:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/heaven-hell-and-your-spouse/99209/10 "2002-03-20T15:13:25Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Duck Duck Goose \* > \*\*I know it’s fashionable to decry Paul’s writings as the blatherings of a male chauvinist pig, but I find it hard to dismiss this. \*\* Why do you accept that it is God’s word instead of Paul’s? Just because he says so? ---
**Author:** ![toadspittle](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/c0e974/32.png) [@toadspittle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/toadspittle)\ **Post date:** [March 20, 2002, 3:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/heaven-hell-and-your-spouse/99209/11 "2002-03-20T15:25:54Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Duck Duck Goose \* > **You have to take the entire passage in context, and then it’s just saying, "Don’t get divorced just because your spouse becomes a Christian.** I think you have it backwards. He’s speaking to Christians, not nonbelievers. In other words, “don’t toss your wife out just because she won’t convert to Christianity like you did.” ---
**Author:** ![mswas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e99b99/32.png) [@mswas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mswas)\ **Post date:** [March 20, 2002, 3:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/heaven-hell-and-your-spouse/99209/12 "2002-03-20T15:54:48Z")
I think the passage is a reassurance regarding your children’s souls. Saying that even if you marry that unholy heathen their taint will not soil your children. As I’ve always seen the day of judgement, it kind of goes like this, Everything is revealed to you, so you understand perfectly what’s been happening. Then you are given a chance to repent. If you are made to understand why your mistakes were mistakes perfectly why would you not repent? Therefore everyone is saved. Though I’ve also believed there can be no heaven with a loved one in hell. But I’m not a devout Christian either. Erek ---
**Author:** ![DifferentChild](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/67e7ee/32.png) [@DifferentChild](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DifferentChild)\ **Post date:** [March 21, 2002, 6:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/heaven-hell-and-your-spouse/99209/13 "2002-03-21T06:26:55Z")
alright, i think we istablished that no where in scripture does it say that if a non-believer maries a believer they are both saved. about the heaven thing with out your wife…if you love God truly then loving him should be above anyone and anything. so if your husband or wife goes to hell and you dont then when you got to heaven it will be parodise. of corse you will miss them and i’m sure it will be hard but we cant, as humans, grasp how perfect heaven will be. but when you get there it will be perfect and you will have God’s love and you will love Him. about the hell thing. i think hell has been molded in our mind to be some place where you just walk around like zombies and do nothing forever. like in Little Nicky. if it was like that hey go to hell with your husband/wife and walk around with them, but it’s not. it’s a place of complete isolation, darkness, pain, and eturnal seperation. if you were to go to hell you would be with him or her it’d be you suffereing alone. i’m sorry if i have offended any of you, that is what i have come to know. ---
**Author:** ![kniz](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/c37758/32.png) [@kniz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kniz)\ **Post date:** [March 21, 2002, 7:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/heaven-hell-and-your-spouse/99209/14 "2002-03-21T07:37:20Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by KellyM \* > \*\*I refuse to believe in a god that would condemn anyone to eternal torment, so I don’t have to worry about these issues. 🙂 \*\* Ditto ---
**Author:** ![istara](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/e79b87/32.png) [@istara](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/istara)\ **Post date:** [March 21, 2002, 8:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/heaven-hell-and-your-spouse/99209/15 "2002-03-21T08:00:44Z")
At my ludicrously god-bashing school we were taught that “christians should only marry other christians.” An example to support this was given by our headmaster’s wife, who told of how her own father had been an unbeliever all his life, which had caused some distress to his ardently-christian wife. It was not until his seventies, and not far from his death, that he finally “saw the light” and converted. From this our headmaster’s wife deduced that to marry a non-christian was a terrible thing as they spent their whole marriage with the wife not being able to share her faith. I frankly saw it as a wonderful example (speaking from a christian perspective) of the very upside to marrying non-christian. It could be that the only reason this man ever “made it to god” was because of being married to a christian all his life. It could have been God’s plan - however long it took - for that man to marry that woman to eventually find Him. To my mind, it was quite a beautiful miracle story, if you are a christian and look at things in those terms. ---
**Author:** ![Gaudere](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/e495f1/32.png) [@Gaudere](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gaudere)\ **Post date:** [March 21, 2002, 4:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/heaven-hell-and-your-spouse/99209/16 "2002-03-21T16:30:20Z")
Though Paul says you shouldn’t get divorced because one partner is an unbeliever, he does seem to think that it might be a good idea to not get together in the first place: [2Cor 6:14.5] Do not be mismated with unbelievers. For what partnership have righteousness and iniquity? Or what fellowship has light with darkness? [2Cor 6:15] What accord has Christ with Belial? Or what has a believer in common with an unbeliever? [2Cor 6:16] What agreement has the temple of God with idols? For we are the temple of the living God; as God said, "I will live in them and move among them, and I will be their God, and they shall be my people. [2Cor 6:17] Therefore come out from them, and be separate from them, says the Lord, and touch nothing unclean; then I will welcome you, [2Cor 6:18] and I will be a father to you, and you shall be my sons and daughters, says the Lord Almighty." ---
**Author:** ![Weird\_AL\_Einstein](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/c67d28/32.png) [@Weird\_AL\_Einstein](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Weird_AL_Einstein)\ **Post date:** [March 23, 2002, 2:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/heaven-hell-and-your-spouse/99209/17 "2002-03-23T14:38:58Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by KellyM \* > \*\*I refuse to believe in a god that would condemn anyone to eternal torment, so I don’t have to worry about these issues. 🙂 \*\* In all seriousness, why? I mean, I would _like_ to believe in a fundamentally benevolent god, but that does not lead me to close my mind to any alternative possibilities.