# Helen Thomas says she will commit suicide if Dick Cheny runs for president **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [July 28, 2005, 8:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/helen-thomas-says-she-will-commit-suicide-if-dick-cheny-runs-for-president/314645 "2005-07-28T20:45:29Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Uvula\_Donor](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/e19adc/32.png) [@Uvula\_Donor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Uvula_Donor)\ **Post date:** [July 28, 2005, 10:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/helen-thomas-says-she-will-commit-suicide-if-dick-cheny-runs-for-president/314645/21 "2005-07-28T22:23:50Z")
If Canada eats Dick Cheney, I’ll never vote for okra again. ---
**Author:** ![Uvula\_Donor](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/e19adc/32.png) [@Uvula\_Donor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Uvula_Donor)\ **Post date:** [July 28, 2005, 10:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/helen-thomas-says-she-will-commit-suicide-if-dick-cheny-runs-for-president/314645/22 "2005-07-28T22:24:51Z")
> [@NoClueBoy](#): > > He will pass the gas bill. > > He will cut the cheese programs. > > He will sit on your toilet for over 15 minutes. Will he jerk off, with the door locked, after doing random work? ---
**Author:** ![Binarydrone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/3da27b/32.png) [@Binarydrone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Binarydrone)\ **Post date:** [July 28, 2005, 10:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/helen-thomas-says-she-will-commit-suicide-if-dick-cheny-runs-for-president/314645/23 "2005-07-28T22:27:26Z")
> [@NoClueBoy](#): > > He will pass the gas bill. > > He will cut the cheese programs. > > He will sit on your toilet for over 15 minutes. You know, if you take the last word out of your first two sentences….here, let me take care of that for you. > [@NoClueBoy (with help from Binarydrone)](#): > > He will pass the gas. > > He will cut the cheese. > > He will sit on your toilet for over 15 minutes. ---
**Author:** ![Binarydrone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/3da27b/32.png) [@Binarydrone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Binarydrone)\ **Post date:** [July 28, 2005, 10:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/helen-thomas-says-she-will-commit-suicide-if-dick-cheny-runs-for-president/314645/24 "2005-07-28T22:28:43Z")
> [@Uvula Donor](#): > > Will he jerk off, with the door locked, after doing random work? I was beside myself worried about that! ---
**Author:** ![ivylass](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/9de053/32.png) [@ivylass](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ivylass)\ **Post date:** [July 28, 2005, 10:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/helen-thomas-says-she-will-commit-suicide-if-dick-cheny-runs-for-president/314645/25 "2005-07-28T22:36:03Z")
> [@Askia](#): > > This is news… how? > > I don’t fault her for the sentiment, just for verbalizing it while Drudge Report hacks are around to make a big deal out of it. It’s news because she’s part of the White House press corps…and they’re _supposed_ to be unbiased. ---
**Author:** ![Marley23](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Marley23](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Marley23)\ **Post date:** [July 28, 2005, 10:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/helen-thomas-says-she-will-commit-suicide-if-dick-cheny-runs-for-president/314645/26 "2005-07-28T22:47:10Z")
If **Thin Lizzy** becomes an SDMB member, _I’ll_ commit suicide. :rolleyes: ---
**Author:** ![Squink](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/b5e925/32.png) [@Squink](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Squink)\ **Post date:** [July 28, 2005, 10:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/helen-thomas-says-she-will-commit-suicide-if-dick-cheny-runs-for-president/314645/27 "2005-07-28T22:47:55Z")
> [@ivylass](#): > > It’s news because she’s part of the White House press corps…and they’re _supposed_ to be unbiased. [Tell it to the marine](http://www.jeffgannon.com/)! ---
**Author:** ![Askia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/96bed5/32.png) [@Askia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Askia)\ **Post date:** [July 28, 2005, 10:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/helen-thomas-says-she-will-commit-suicide-if-dick-cheny-runs-for-president/314645/28 "2005-07-28T22:52:22Z")
> [@ivylass](#): > > It’s news because she’s part of the White House press corps…and they’re _supposed_ to be unbiased. Unbiased in their _reporting._ She hasn’t ceded any of her own rights as a member of the fourth estate – she’s still entitled to her own opinion, however hyberbolic. ---
**Author:** ![ivylass](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/9de053/32.png) [@ivylass](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ivylass)\ **Post date:** [July 28, 2005, 10:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/helen-thomas-says-she-will-commit-suicide-if-dick-cheny-runs-for-president/314645/29 "2005-07-28T22:53:50Z")
I think, if one is a member of the WH Press Corps, one must adhere to a certain standard, shall we say, in one’s demeanor in speaking “off the record.” ---
**Author:** ![Hung\_Mung](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/a88e4f/32.png) [@Hung\_Mung](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hung_Mung)\ **Post date:** [July 28, 2005, 10:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/helen-thomas-says-she-will-commit-suicide-if-dick-cheny-runs-for-president/314645/30 "2005-07-28T22:54:10Z")
If Okra becomes a Canadian, I’m never eating Thin Lizzy’s okra or masturbating in Dick Cheney’s dog house ever again. ---
**Author:** ![Jackmannii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jackmannii/32/311_2.png) [@Jackmannii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jackmannii)\ **Post date:** [July 28, 2005, 10:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/helen-thomas-says-she-will-commit-suicide-if-dick-cheny-runs-for-president/314645/31 "2005-07-28T22:55:47Z")
If you commit suicide and move to Canada, can you still get complete health coverage? ---
**Author:** ![Typo\_Negative](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/typo_negative/32/484_2.png) [@Typo\_Negative](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Typo_Negative)\ **Post date:** [July 28, 2005, 10:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/helen-thomas-says-she-will-commit-suicide-if-dick-cheny-runs-for-president/314645/32 "2005-07-28T22:58:10Z")
If Oprah was Canadian… Aw, screw it. ---
**Author:** ![Marley23](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Marley23](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Marley23)\ **Post date:** [July 28, 2005, 10:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/helen-thomas-says-she-will-commit-suicide-if-dick-cheny-runs-for-president/314645/33 "2005-07-28T22:59:12Z")
> [@ivylass](#): > > I think, if one is a member of the WH Press Corps, one must adhere to a certain standard, shall we say, in one’s demeanor in speaking “off the record.” That’s not off the record, it’s just a personal opinion. I think a lot of posters on the other side would be upset if a prominent journalist said she’d kill herself if Hillary runs for President. ---
**Author:** ![Thin\_Lizzy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/e9a140/32.png) [@Thin\_Lizzy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Thin_Lizzy)\ **Post date:** [July 28, 2005, 11:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/helen-thomas-says-she-will-commit-suicide-if-dick-cheny-runs-for-president/314645/34 "2005-07-28T23:01:20Z")
> [@PinkMarabou](#): > > The OP is a mindless cuntbag, don’t expect any insightful answers from that shit-stain. Hey! I am not mindless! 😃 ---
**Author:** ![ivylass](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/9de053/32.png) [@ivylass](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ivylass)\ **Post date:** [July 28, 2005, 11:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/helen-thomas-says-she-will-commit-suicide-if-dick-cheny-runs-for-president/314645/35 "2005-07-28T23:02:55Z")
> [@Marley23](#): > > I think a lot of posters on the other side would be upset if a prominent journalist said she’d kill herself if Hillary runs for President. Oh, I agree. It’s a stupid statement and does nothing for her credibility. She is a public figure and unlike Susie Nobody down the street, who may threaten suicide if Cheney runs for Pres (he won’t, he has too many health problems) Thomas’s statements are listened to. Besides, didn’t she call the President a liar when she made the statement? “All we need is one more liar?” ---
**Author:** ![Askia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/96bed5/32.png) [@Askia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Askia)\ **Post date:** [July 28, 2005, 11:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/helen-thomas-says-she-will-commit-suicide-if-dick-cheny-runs-for-president/314645/36 "2005-07-28T23:05:42Z")
Ahhh, she could be going all the way back to George Sr. on that comment. ---
**Author:** ![Marley23](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Marley23](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Marley23)\ **Post date:** [July 28, 2005, 11:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/helen-thomas-says-she-will-commit-suicide-if-dick-cheny-runs-for-president/314645/37 "2005-07-28T23:05:50Z")
For a little context on this, by the way, Thomas has long been mad at the administration because of perceived mistreatment and disrespect of her on its part. ---
**Author:** ![Tentacle\_Monster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ba9def/32.png) [@Tentacle\_Monster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tentacle_Monster)\ **Post date:** [July 28, 2005, 11:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/helen-thomas-says-she-will-commit-suicide-if-dick-cheny-runs-for-president/314645/38 "2005-07-28T23:07:43Z")
> [@Uvula Donor](#): > > Will he jerk off, with the door locked, after doing random work? The thought of Dick Cheney rubbing one out damn near gave _me_ a heart attack. ---
**Author:** ![ivylass](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/9de053/32.png) [@ivylass](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ivylass)\ **Post date:** [July 28, 2005, 11:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/helen-thomas-says-she-will-commit-suicide-if-dick-cheny-runs-for-president/314645/39 "2005-07-28T23:08:31Z")
> [@Marley23](#): > > For a little context on this, by the way, Thomas has long been mad at the administration because of perceived mistreatment and disrespect of her on its part. I think both sides have given as good as they’ve gotten. ---
**Author:** ![Jackmannii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jackmannii/32/311_2.png) [@Jackmannii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jackmannii)\ **Post date:** [July 28, 2005, 11:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/helen-thomas-says-she-will-commit-suicide-if-dick-cheny-runs-for-president/314645/40 "2005-07-28T23:11:32Z")
> [@Marley23](#): > > I think a lot of posters on the other side would be upset if a prominent journalist said she’d kill herself if Hillary runs for President. Not if it was Ann Coulter. Though there could be mass suicide on the Left if there was ever general agreement that Coulter was a “prominent journalist”. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/helen-thomas-says-she-will-commit-suicide-if-dick-cheny-runs-for-president/314645.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/helen-thomas-says-she-will-commit-suicide-if-dick-cheny-runs-for-president/314645.md?page=3)