# hello "dopers" why do you post here **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [September 28, 2004, 4:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hello-dopers-why-do-you-post-here/266434 "2004-09-28T04:54:35Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![photopat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/e95f7d/32.png) [@photopat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/photopat)\ **Post date:** [September 28, 2004, 4:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hello-dopers-why-do-you-post-here/266434/41 "2004-09-28T16:48:37Z")
:smack: Er…that’s not exactly what I meant. ---
**Author:** ![Cluricaun](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/bb73d2/32.png) [@Cluricaun](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cluricaun)\ **Post date:** [September 28, 2004, 4:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hello-dopers-why-do-you-post-here/266434/42 "2004-09-28T16:57:25Z")
I don’t know if I could afford all these rare earth mineral dongs. Perhaps I could simply request and Iron Dong? ---
**Author:** ![Bippy\_the\_Beardless](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ac8455/32.png) [@Bippy\_the\_Beardless](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bippy_the_Beardless)\ **Post date:** [September 28, 2004, 5:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hello-dopers-why-do-you-post-here/266434/43 "2004-09-28T17:11:45Z")
> [@Really Not All That Bright](#): > > Nor enough to get me to let someone attach an electrode to mine. Go, on give it a try you might like it. **Cluicon** an Iron dong would rust! Aluminium would be a safer bet. btw my latest bank card has been upgraded from platinum to translucent blue. This is a clear sign that an Ice Blue Jelly Dong trumps a mere platinum dong. ---
**Author:** ![Cluricaun](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/bb73d2/32.png) [@Cluricaun](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cluricaun)\ **Post date:** [September 28, 2004, 5:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hello-dopers-why-do-you-post-here/266434/44 "2004-09-28T17:17:46Z")
Heh heh heh, Rusty Dong…at your service… ---
**Author:** ![Tentacle\_Monster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ba9def/32.png) [@Tentacle\_Monster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tentacle_Monster)\ **Post date:** [September 28, 2004, 5:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hello-dopers-why-do-you-post-here/266434/45 "2004-09-28T17:20:24Z")
> [@Clurican](#): > > I don’t know if I could afford all these rare earth mineral dongs. Perhaps I could simply request and Iron Dong? “Fukui-san! Iron Dong Clurican has switched from the Reverse Cowgirl position to the Piledriver! The challenger must really be feeling the pressure now!” ---
**Author:** ![Shirley\_Ujest](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/45deac/32.png) [@Shirley\_Ujest](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shirley_Ujest)\ **Post date:** [September 28, 2004, 5:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hello-dopers-why-do-you-post-here/266434/46 "2004-09-28T17:46:43Z")
I feel I am being Kept Down by The Man because I am Dong-less. ---
**Author:** ![Hal\_Briston](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/a9a28c/32.png) [@Hal\_Briston](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hal_Briston)\ **Post date:** [September 28, 2004, 5:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hello-dopers-why-do-you-post-here/266434/47 "2004-09-28T17:55:48Z")
> [@Cluricaun](#): > > Perhaps I could simply request an Iron Dong? \ **I AM IRON DONG…** \ ---
**Author:** ![Ethilrist](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ethilrist/32/4604_2.png) [@Ethilrist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ethilrist)\ **Post date:** [September 28, 2004, 6:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hello-dopers-why-do-you-post-here/266434/48 "2004-09-28T18:11:06Z")
> [@Shirley Ujest](#): > > I feel I am being Kept Down by The Man because I am Dong-less. Like a dong-less cowboy Posting like a fool in a star-spangled message board… ---
**Author:** ![SnakeSpirit](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/snakespirit/32/7271_2.png) [@SnakeSpirit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SnakeSpirit)\ **Post date:** [September 28, 2004, 6:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hello-dopers-why-do-you-post-here/266434/49 "2004-09-28T18:18:07Z")
Why do I post here? Silly question. I’m addicted, of course. ---
**Author:** ![Syntropy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/65b543/32.png) [@Syntropy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Syntropy)\ **Post date:** [September 28, 2004, 6:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hello-dopers-why-do-you-post-here/266434/50 "2004-09-28T18:26:28Z")
> [@photopat](#): > > That might be a little steep for everybody. How about a $49.95 Plaster Caster Membership? Pamela? Is that you?? 😃 I met her at a book signing lo, these many years ago. Very cool. She babysat for Frank Zappa. ---
**Author:** ![Sean\_Factotum](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/50afbb/32.png) [@Sean\_Factotum](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sean_Factotum)\ **Post date:** [September 28, 2004, 6:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hello-dopers-why-do-you-post-here/266434/51 "2004-09-28T18:46:32Z")
> [@Maureen](#): > > Pamela? Is that you?? 😃 I met her at a book signing lo, these many years ago. Very cool. She babysat for Frank Zappa. Please don’t tell me she’s got little plaster dong casts of Dweezil and Ahmed! ---
**Author:** ![Jurph](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/50afbb/32.png) [@Jurph](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jurph)\ **Post date:** [September 28, 2004, 6:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hello-dopers-why-do-you-post-here/266434/52 "2004-09-28T18:56:52Z")
Isn’t **Gold Dong Member** redundant? Oh, and for those playing along at home, don’t rain down hellfire on the new member – perhaps he’s just looking for _some new kind of thinking_. Watch this space! ---
**Author:** ![Shirley\_Ujest](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/45deac/32.png) [@Shirley\_Ujest](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shirley_Ujest)\ **Post date:** [September 28, 2004, 7:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hello-dopers-why-do-you-post-here/266434/53 "2004-09-28T19:32:02Z")
With profuse apologies to Shirley Bassey. Gold Dong Member! He’s the man, the man with the redundant name. That is so lame. Such doper is he. Beckons you to enter his basement for a game. But don’t go in. Golden (unmentionable) he will pour in your ear, But his lies can’t disguise what you fear, For a golden girl knows when he’s kissed her, It’s D&D forevermore. Mister Gold Dong Member. Pretty girl beware of this Dong of Gold This schlong is not cold. Its a two inch heat burnin’ missssssssile! He loves only his Schwanz, It fits in his pants. With plenty of roooooom left ooooovvvvver! ---
**Author:** ![Cluricaun](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/bb73d2/32.png) [@Cluricaun](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cluricaun)\ **Post date:** [September 28, 2004, 7:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hello-dopers-why-do-you-post-here/266434/54 "2004-09-28T19:45:48Z")
Well if we’re breaking into song now… {Hal Briston Intro} I am Iron Dong Ripping off a great Black Sabbath song Out loud I have cussed Like Bippy said it’s begun to rust… Nobody wants it… Tetanus shots are involved WD-40… Isn’t helping at all Now I’ll end this song should have gone and got the Gold Member Dong Turn my head and cough Somebody help me get this danged thing off… ---
**Author:** ![EddyTeddyFreddy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/eddyteddyfreddy/32/18796_2.png) [@EddyTeddyFreddy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/EddyTeddyFreddy)\ **Post date:** [September 28, 2004, 8:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hello-dopers-why-do-you-post-here/266434/55 "2004-09-28T20:13:16Z")
> [@Ethilrist](#): > > Nah. I want to jump the Platinum and go straight to being a _TITANIUM_ Dong Member! I didn’t know sharks came in platinum. ---
**Author:** ![Greenback](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/2bfe46/32.png) [@Greenback](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Greenback)\ **Post date:** [September 28, 2004, 8:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hello-dopers-why-do-you-post-here/266434/56 "2004-09-28T20:26:30Z")
> [@SnakeSpirit](#): > > Why do I post here? Silly question. > > I’m addicted, of course. and u can quit anytime u like right apparently the knew birth control pills werk 2 well as u only get 4 periods a year use them wisely ---
**Author:** ![Lobsang](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lobsang/32/4067_2.png) [@Lobsang](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lobsang)\ **Post date:** [September 28, 2004, 8:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hello-dopers-why-do-you-post-here/266434/57 "2004-09-28T20:28:08Z")
Because. (It’s a reason! Shut up.) ---
**Author:** ![misstee](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/958977/32.png) [@misstee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/misstee)\ **Post date:** [September 28, 2004, 8:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hello-dopers-why-do-you-post-here/266434/58 "2004-09-28T20:43:05Z")
> [@Shirley Ujest](#): > > I feel I am being Kept Down by The Man because I am Dong-less. As long as you don’t live in Texas (? or was it Alabama ) you can _buy_ one at your local adult book store. ---
**Author:** ![Shirley\_Ujest](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/45deac/32.png) [@Shirley\_Ujest](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shirley_Ujest)\ **Post date:** [September 28, 2004, 10:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hello-dopers-why-do-you-post-here/266434/59 "2004-09-28T22:43:27Z")
**FYI** Chocolate covered dongs are called Ding Dong. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Chastain86](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/f9ae1b/32.png) [@Chastain86](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chastain86)\ **Post date:** [September 28, 2004, 10:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hello-dopers-why-do-you-post-here/266434/60 "2004-09-28T22:53:51Z")
How long until there’s a board member called **Gold Dong Member**? Not long. \*snort [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hello-dopers-why-do-you-post-here/266434.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hello-dopers-why-do-you-post-here/266434.md?page=4)