# Hello. I am a racist. **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [August 18, 2010, 12:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hello-i-am-a-racist/550590 "2010-08-18T00:25:54Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 31
**Author:** ![Idle\_Thoughts](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/838e76/32.png) [@Idle\_Thoughts](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Idle_Thoughts)\ **Post date:** [August 19, 2010, 9:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hello-i-am-a-racist/550590/601 "2010-08-19T21:13:33Z")
> [@Jack\_Batty](#): > > Anybody got an over / under on the … “Haw haw … you fools fell for my trolling …?” > > I’m gonna go with post number 700 at 3 to 1. Who wants action? Nah, I’m willing to bet this topic is closed before he admits to trolling. Probably sometime before post 1000. ---
**Author:** ![Zsofia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/7bcc69/32.png) [@Zsofia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zsofia)\ **Post date:** [August 19, 2010, 9:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hello-i-am-a-racist/550590/602 "2010-08-19T21:15:14Z")
> [@jsgoddess](#): > > Y’all know this is going on his “Big List of Crimes Black People Have Perpetrated on My Harmless White Ass.” > ETA: I wonder which one of us will be the one he throws through a candy machine? Ooh, let it be meeeeeeee! Free candy! Sweet! ---
**Author:** ![XT](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/xt/32/456_2.png) [@XT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/XT)\ **Post date:** [August 19, 2010, 9:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hello-i-am-a-racist/550590/603 "2010-08-19T21:15:17Z")
Do we have any parting gifts for our playful racist, Monty? Perhaps a nice ceramic dog? The board game edition of The Straight Dope? How about this giant latex cock, helpfully painted a nice shade of black for our former contestant, and lubed up with, you guessed it! Ghost pepper extract!, so that he can really remember his experience here on the SD? -XT ---
**Author:** ![villa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/bc79bd/32.png) [@villa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/villa)\ **Post date:** [August 19, 2010, 9:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hello-i-am-a-racist/550590/604 "2010-08-19T21:15:57Z")
> [@Zsofia](#): > > > [@villa](#): > > > > They start at Calais. > > But where do they stop? It’s kind of like the “don’t feed them after midnight” Gremlin rule. Well that’s obvious! It wraps round the world and stops at the Hebrides. Though I did hear in a bar in Glasgow that they start at Carlisle. And I will admit those Welsh are pretty damn suspect too. ---
**Author:** ![The\_Hamster\_King](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/8edcca/32.png) [@The\_Hamster\_King](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Hamster_King)\ **Post date:** [August 19, 2010, 9:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hello-i-am-a-racist/550590/605 "2010-08-19T21:22:50Z")
> [@Ariovistus](#): > > I’m not ever coming back. Yay! ---
**Author:** ![Bryan\_Ekers](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bryan_ekers/32/183_2.png) [@Bryan\_Ekers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bryan_Ekers)\ **Post date:** [August 19, 2010, 9:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hello-i-am-a-racist/550590/606 "2010-08-19T21:24:39Z")
> [@Ariovistus](#): > > Jumping Jesus on a Pogo stick! You people act like because I thought it was frickin’ FUNNY, that that somehow means I would find lynchings or spotlighting blacks folks to be just as funny! Well, do you? ---
**Author:** ![Death\_of\_Rats](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/a6a055/32.png) [@Death\_of\_Rats](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Death_of_Rats)\ **Post date:** [August 19, 2010, 9:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hello-i-am-a-racist/550590/607 "2010-08-19T21:29:46Z")
> [@DiosaBellissima](#): > > > [@jsgoddess](#): > > > > _sigh_ You need more goosestepping and yodeling, fool. > > But it’ll get my black shirt all dirty ☹ Switch to Brown and the dirt doesn’t show as much. ---
**Author:** ![Bryan\_Ekers](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bryan_ekers/32/183_2.png) [@Bryan\_Ekers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bryan_Ekers)\ **Post date:** [August 19, 2010, 9:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hello-i-am-a-racist/550590/608 "2010-08-19T21:38:24Z")
> [@Bryan\_Ekers](#): > > > [@Ariovistus](#): > > > > Jumping Jesus on a Pogo stick! You people act like because I thought it was frickin’ FUNNY, that that somehow means I would find lynchings or spotlighting blacks folks to be just as funny! > > Well, do you? Heh, looks like I’m at least two pages behind the times. ---
**Author:** ![Attack\_from\_the\_3rd\_dimension](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/b38774/32.png) [@Attack\_from\_the\_3rd\_dimension](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Attack_from_the_3rd_dimension)\ **Post date:** [August 19, 2010, 10:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hello-i-am-a-racist/550590/609 "2010-08-19T22:10:59Z")
> [@Attack\_from\_the\_3rd\_dimension](#): > > By the way, Ariovistus, as far as you can recall, prior to your PTSD and head trauma, were you a bigot, or as much of a bigot? Never did answer my question. Unreliable, typical of his race. ---
**Author:** ![XT](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/xt/32/456_2.png) [@XT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/XT)\ **Post date:** [August 19, 2010, 10:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hello-i-am-a-racist/550590/610 "2010-08-19T22:13:21Z")
You were asking about the wrong body part. How would he have even noticed head trauma? Without brains up there, what would have been traumatized?? -XT ---
**Author:** ![pravnik](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/8edcca/32.png) [@pravnik](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pravnik)\ **Post date:** [August 19, 2010, 11:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hello-i-am-a-racist/550590/611 "2010-08-19T23:32:38Z")
I swore I wouldn’t do it, but I can stay silent no longer: It’s “hypocrisy.” Not “hypocracy.” “Hypocrisy.” ---
**Author:** ![Fear\_Itself](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fear_itself/32/19637_2.png) [@Fear\_Itself](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fear_Itself)\ **Post date:** [August 20, 2010, 12:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hello-i-am-a-racist/550590/612 "2010-08-20T00:23:46Z")
> [@Ariovistus](#): > > To the rest of you, and I mean this in the most sincere way possible: > > **FOAD**. _Ook! Eek!_ ---
**Author:** ![Miller](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/miller/32/481_2.png) [@Miller](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Miller)\ **Post date:** [August 20, 2010, 1:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hello-i-am-a-racist/550590/613 "2010-08-20T01:04:49Z")
> [@Ariovistus](#): > > **FOAD** As noted, it is against the board rules to tell posters to fuck off. It’s also against the rules to with death on posters, so you’ve got a twofer going here. No warning issued, but please restrain yourself in the future. ---
**Author:** ![BlueOhio](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/439d5e/32.png) [@BlueOhio](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BlueOhio)\ **Post date:** [August 20, 2010, 1:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hello-i-am-a-racist/550590/614 "2010-08-20T01:05:45Z")
All Glory to the Hypno-FOAD ---
**Author:** ![Shagnasty](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9dc877/32.png) [@Shagnasty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shagnasty)\ **Post date:** [August 20, 2010, 1:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hello-i-am-a-racist/550590/615 "2010-08-20T01:40:20Z")
> [@Miller](#): > > > [@Ariovistus](#): > > > > **FOAD** > > As noted, it is against the board rules to tell posters to fuck off. It’s also against the rules to with death on posters, so you’ve got a twofer going here. No warning issued, but please restrain yourself in the future. I thought is was just a typo. The F and T key are right next to each other. You never know with these white supremacists. Some of them don’t have the typing skills of an assistant crack whore. ---
**Author:** ![XT](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/xt/32/456_2.png) [@XT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/XT)\ **Post date:** [August 20, 2010, 1:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hello-i-am-a-racist/550590/616 "2010-08-20T01:42:28Z")
That, SIRH! is an insult to our amphibian brethren and sistren! -XT ---
**Author:** ![Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e8c25b/32.png) [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Really_Not_All_That_Bright)\ **Post date:** [August 20, 2010, 2:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hello-i-am-a-racist/550590/617 "2010-08-20T02:13:02Z")
> [@Ariovistus](#): > > I’ll let you in on a secret… shhhh. > > I’ve received PM’s from folks who feel like me… there are (gasp) people on this board who think like I do!! And you don’t know who they are!! > > And I’ll never tell… it’ll be more fun watching you lot go around in circles accusing each other.. [spoiler]Yeah, about that: what was that code word we were supposed to identify ourselves by, again? I wrote it down somewhere, but I just up and forgot it straight away. Guess I won’t recognize you on other boards now. Sad face.[/spoiler] ETA: Just realized other people can totally see this! Fuck! Double ETA: Okay, it’s cool. I spoilered the whole thing. Them niggers’ll never figure it out now. ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [August 20, 2010, 2:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hello-i-am-a-racist/550590/618 "2010-08-20T02:15:20Z")
> [@Ariovistus](#): > > I’ll let you in on a secret… shhhh. > > I’ve received PM’s from folks who feel like me… there are (gasp) people on this board who think like I do!! And you don’t know who they are!! > > And I’ll never tell… it’ll be more fun watching you lot go around in circles accusing each other.. BWHAHAHAH…ah, the old, “I’ve got anonymous messages from people who say they support me!!!” Bitch, please. That argument’s so old it’s got maggots. ETA: I can’t wait to see him run back to his little racist buddies — wah wah wah, I’m soooo persecuted!!! They hate me for hating!!! They’re bigotted too – of bigots!!! ---
**Author:** ![Bryan\_Ekers](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bryan_ekers/32/183_2.png) [@Bryan\_Ekers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bryan_Ekers)\ **Post date:** [August 20, 2010, 2:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hello-i-am-a-racist/550590/619 "2010-08-20T02:44:28Z")
Does he seriously think we’re that eager to turn on other for stepping out of line? I’ve never been to chimpout, but I’ll hazard a guess that anyone there who says “Y’know, your story about how the nigger got angry when you slashed his tires was funny, but maybe you went to far…” would be called a race-traitor at some point. ---
**Author:** ![Tom\_Scud](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/f08c70/32.png) [@Tom\_Scud](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tom_Scud)\ **Post date:** [August 20, 2010, 2:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hello-i-am-a-racist/550590/620 "2010-08-20T02:45:23Z")
> [@Czarcasm](#): > > > [@Tom\_Scud](#): > > > > Damn. I’m pretty sure there was still some candy in him, too. > > How many times do I have to tell you-_Ex-Lax isn’t candy._ Who the hell fills a pinata with Ex-Lax? [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hello-i-am-a-racist/550590.md?page=30) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hello-i-am-a-racist/550590.md?page=32)