# Hello. I am: **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [September 20, 2004, 1:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hello-i-am/265130 "2004-09-20T13:52:32Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 16\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Cyn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/a88e4f/32.png) [@Cyn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cyn)\ **Post date:** [September 22, 2004, 12:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hello-i-am/265130/41 "2004-09-22T00:43:15Z")
Hello, I am Cyndi and my right breast is named Candi ---
**Author:** ![ccwaterback](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/df705f/32.png) [@ccwaterback](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ccwaterback)\ **Post date:** [September 22, 2004, 2:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hello-i-am/265130/42 "2004-09-22T02:15:15Z")
- A Hulkamaniac - A bad example - A little teapot - Late for a very important date - Undressing you with my eyes - On a mission from God - About to explode - Beldar from France - Gaseous - Repulsive - The greatest - Taking a long lunch break - Johnny Cash - Molting - So confused ---
**Author:** ![NoPretentiousCodename](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/82dd89/32.png) [@NoPretentiousCodename](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/NoPretentiousCodename)\ **Post date:** [September 22, 2004, 3:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hello-i-am/265130/43 "2004-09-22T15:08:52Z")
Hello. I’m • A Man • A Goddess • A Man • A Virgin • A Man • A Blue Movie • A Man • A Bitch • A Man • A Geisha • A Man • A Little Girl (And We Make Love Together) Okay, Second verse! I kid:D ---
**Author:** ![Bippy\_the\_Beardless](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ac8455/32.png) [@Bippy\_the\_Beardless](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bippy_the_Beardless)\ **Post date:** [September 22, 2004, 4:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hello-i-am/265130/44 "2004-09-22T16:14:41Z")
> [@Cyn](#): > > Hello, I am > Cyndi and my right breast is named Candi Nice one, smutty but not too offenseve 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Ethilrist](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ethilrist/32/4604_2.png) [@Ethilrist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ethilrist)\ **Post date:** [September 22, 2004, 4:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hello-i-am/265130/45 "2004-09-22T16:25:42Z")
… warping time and space. … 98% water. Do not stand between me and the bathroom. … attracting every other piece of matter in the universe. … IRON MAAAAAANNNNN! ---
**Author:** ![Kitchen\_Wench](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/f08c70/32.png) [@Kitchen\_Wench](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kitchen_Wench)\ **Post date:** [September 22, 2004, 9:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hello-i-am/265130/46 "2004-09-22T21:56:20Z")
- about to fart - screaming on the inside - all out of love - Woman, hear me roar - looking for my next victim - the wanderer - doing Kegles - making this up as I go along - tecnically a fruit, but widely thought of as a vegetable - undergoing electroshock therapy - structurally sound - Super! Thanks for asking! ---
**Author:** ![Lobsang](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lobsang/32/4067_2.png) [@Lobsang](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lobsang)\ **Post date:** [September 22, 2004, 10:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hello-i-am/265130/47 "2004-09-22T22:02:51Z")
-Bored, until recently (thanks to **PussyCow** ) -Struggling to contain laughter at work (again, thanks to **PussyCow** ) -Tired -Not going to get drunk for the second night in a row, in months. -Wondering what to do instead. ---
**Author:** ![Sanders](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/bc79bd/32.png) [@Sanders](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sanders)\ **Post date:** [September 23, 2004, 12:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hello-i-am/265130/48 "2004-09-23T00:19:44Z")
Hello, my name is Mudd ---
**Author:** ![Captain\_Gutgore\_Blooddrink](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/c5a1d2/32.png) [@Captain\_Gutgore\_Blooddrink](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Captain_Gutgore_Blooddrink)\ **Post date:** [September 23, 2004, 1:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hello-i-am/265130/49 "2004-09-23T01:49:22Z")
- loathing what you’re about to say - not aware what this nametag says - easy, but you have to do all the work - a filthy beast of meat and hair - a nametag designer - lying to you to get you in bed - not actually on the guest list - a novelty adhesive device. My hosts name is Ted - thinking of biting your nose - not amused by your witty nametag - a Scratch’N’Sniff sticker - just stopping in to take a whiz ---
**Author:** ![ioioio](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ioioio/32/316_2.png) [@ioioio](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ioioio)\ **Post date:** [September 23, 2004, 2:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hello-i-am/265130/50 "2004-09-23T02:39:31Z")
[ul] [li][Stardust, I am golden. And I got to get myself back to the garden.](http://www.lyricsfreak.com/j/joni-mitchell/75381.html)[/li][li][Looking at the river, but thinking of the sea.](http://www.lyricsdepot.com/randy_newman/in-germany-before-the-war.html)[/li][li][Perpetually awaiting a rebirth of wonder.](http://www.think-ink.net/visit/waiting.htm)[/li][li][Never gonna fall in love again.](http://www.lyricstime.com/lyrics/15837.html) [/li][/ul] ---
**Author:** ![MacTech](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c0e974/32.png) [@MacTech](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MacTech)\ **Post date:** [September 23, 2004, 2:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hello-i-am/265130/51 "2004-09-23T02:52:44Z")
A fish! Gazpacho soup! about to go postal not going to fix your computer (worn at work) ---
**Author:** ![manx](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/65b543/32.png) [@manx](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/manx)\ **Post date:** [September 23, 2004, 6:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hello-i-am/265130/52 "2004-09-23T06:42:53Z")
Hello, I am: [ul] [li]not just another brick in the wall[/li][li]on minimum wage[/li][li]smarterer than you[/li][li]invisible[/li][li]high[/li][/ul] ---
**Author:** ![DWToml815](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/a8b319/32.png) [@DWToml815](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DWToml815)\ **Post date:** [September 23, 2004, 2:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hello-i-am/265130/53 "2004-09-23T14:19:15Z")
-waiting in line to pee. -IRONMAN…hahahaha. -not a crook. ---
**Author:** ![Bippy\_the\_Beardless](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ac8455/32.png) [@Bippy\_the\_Beardless](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bippy_the_Beardless)\ **Post date:** [September 23, 2004, 4:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hello-i-am/265130/54 "2004-09-23T16:26:43Z")
Hello, I am chopped liver. (god if you have a few Jewish guests) ---
**Author:** ![Ludovic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7ab992/32.png) [@Ludovic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ludovic)\ **Post date:** [September 23, 2004, 8:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hello-i-am/265130/55 "2004-09-23T20:27:38Z")
– The eye in the sky – Smelling like a rose that somebody gave me on my birthday deathbed. – Woman, hear me roar! – Pond scum (10 points to anyone who gets that!) ---
**Author:** ![jessicala](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/eb9ed0/32.png) [@jessicala](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jessicala)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2004, 2:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hello-i-am/265130/56 "2004-09-24T02:44:05Z")
- Albert Andreas Armadillo. No relation to the Sarsaparillas. - S-M-R-T - Your father. [Insert mechanical breathing sounds.] - the One. - looking for a partner, someone who gets things fixed. Ask yourself this question: Do you want to be rich? [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hello-i-am/265130.md?page=2)