# Hello, I'd like to buy an argument **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [December 6, 2000, 11:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hello-id-like-to-buy-an-argument/44401 "2000-12-06T23:07:46Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Enderw24](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ba9def/32.png) [@Enderw24](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Enderw24)\ **Post date:** [December 6, 2000, 11:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hello-id-like-to-buy-an-argument/44401/1 "2000-12-06T23:07:46Z")
Seeing as how this is my first time, I think I’ll go with 5 minutes. ---
**Author:** ![TroubleAgain](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/e480ec/32.png) [@TroubleAgain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TroubleAgain)\ **Post date:** [December 6, 2000, 11:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hello-id-like-to-buy-an-argument/44401/2 "2000-12-06T23:15:29Z")
Ummm, why would you want to buy something we give away for free around here? ---
**Author:** ![Celyn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/9dc877/32.png) [@Celyn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Celyn)\ **Post date:** [December 6, 2000, 11:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hello-id-like-to-buy-an-argument/44401/3 "2000-12-06T23:19:06Z")
Free? No, it most certainly isn’t. Look, I’ve already told you once! ---
**Author:** ![Enderw24](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ba9def/32.png) [@Enderw24](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Enderw24)\ **Post date:** [December 6, 2000, 11:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hello-id-like-to-buy-an-argument/44401/4 "2000-12-06T23:22:06Z")
No you haven’t Celyn. That was your first post in this thread! Trouble, are you saying you wouldn’t take my money? Am I not good enough? Or are you so insanely rich, you’d be insulted with my pithy offer? I’m insulted you’re even responding. ---
**Author:** ![Eutychus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/a3d4f5/32.png) [@Eutychus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eutychus)\ **Post date:** [December 6, 2000, 11:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hello-id-like-to-buy-an-argument/44401/5 "2000-12-06T23:26:39Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Enderw23 \* > \*\*I’m insulted you’re even responding. \*\* I’m sorry, this is the argument thread. Insults are two doors down. ---
**Author:** ![Celyn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/9dc877/32.png) [@Celyn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Celyn)\ **Post date:** [December 6, 2000, 11:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hello-id-like-to-buy-an-argument/44401/6 "2000-12-06T23:28:25Z")
DING! That’s it. Time up. ---
**Author:** ![Zenster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/cdc98d/32.png) [@Zenster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zenster)\ **Post date:** [December 6, 2000, 11:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hello-id-like-to-buy-an-argument/44401/7 "2000-12-06T23:28:35Z")
“Shut your festering gob you tit! Your type really turns me off! You malodorous, toffee nosed, sniveling heap of parrot droppings!” “But I came here for an argument!” “Oh, you want room twelve “C” down the corridor.” “Sorry about that.” “Think nothing of it.” ::closing door:: “Stupid git!” [sub](I trust this a close approximation of what you were seeking)[/sub] ---
**Author:** ![Lowellster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/2bfe46/32.png) [@Lowellster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lowellster)\ **Post date:** [December 6, 2000, 11:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hello-id-like-to-buy-an-argument/44401/8 "2000-12-06T23:31:12Z")
Oh. I’m sorry. This is abuse. ---
**Author:** ![Trout\_Mask\_Replica](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/a88e57/32.png) [@Trout\_Mask\_Replica](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Trout_Mask_Replica)\ **Post date:** [December 6, 2000, 11:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hello-id-like-to-buy-an-argument/44401/9 "2000-12-06T23:32:16Z")
Is not! ---
**Author:** ![yojimbo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/yojimbo/32/232_2.png) [@yojimbo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/yojimbo)\ **Post date:** [December 6, 2000, 11:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hello-id-like-to-buy-an-argument/44401/10 "2000-12-06T23:32:49Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Eutychus55 \* > I’m sorry, this is the argument thread. Insults are two doors down. No it isn’t. ---
**Author:** ![TroubleAgain](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/e480ec/32.png) [@TroubleAgain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TroubleAgain)\ **Post date:** [December 6, 2000, 11:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hello-id-like-to-buy-an-argument/44401/11 "2000-12-06T23:33:04Z")
I didn’t say or imply that. You didn’t read carefully enough. All I said was that arguments can be had for free around here. If you insist, I can produce cites that prove it conclusively. I’ll bury you in them! As for money, hell, yes, I’ll take your money if you insist on it. Money is money as long as it’s US$. (That’s good for another argument right there, from non-US citizens.) And I have every right to respond! I believe in freedom of speech–unless you don’t agree with me, then you have no right to free speech! (Is that enough argument for one post?) ---
**Author:** ![deb2world](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/7cd45c/32.png) [@deb2world](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/deb2world)\ **Post date:** [December 6, 2000, 11:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hello-id-like-to-buy-an-argument/44401/12 "2000-12-06T23:36:05Z")
I had an argument with my sister, actually she argued, I was just amazed at what she could get mad at. I am willing to part with it for next to nothing. (Sister included for free) ---
**Author:** ![Enderw24](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ba9def/32.png) [@Enderw24](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Enderw24)\ **Post date:** [December 6, 2000, 11:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hello-id-like-to-buy-an-argument/44401/13 "2000-12-06T23:38:11Z")
I come here for an argument, and all I get is abuse. Please, Zenster, what in the world made you think I wanted a Monty Python routine spouted back at me? I most clearly came here looking for an argument and all I can get is some sort of homage (to which I’m being generous, I could have said plagurism) to a B rated comedic talent from some backwater country. Euty has the right idea, despite his typographical error. I too find Three Doors Down to be insulting. Especially that Kryptonite song. God, can they play that on the radio one more time please? Celyn, my fifteen minutes were up a loooooooong time ago. But I’ve got a bonus five coming to me. You wanna make something of it? ---
**Author:** ![Jack\_Batty](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jack_batty/32/3201_2.png) [@Jack\_Batty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jack_Batty)\ **Post date:** [December 7, 2000, 12:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hello-id-like-to-buy-an-argument/44401/14 "2000-12-07T00:42:28Z")
- An argument isn’t just contradiction. - It can be. - No it can’t. An argument is a connected series of statements intended to establish a proposition. - No it isn’t. - Yes it is! It’s not just contradiction. - Look, if I argue with you, I must take up a contrary position. - Yes, but that’s not just saying ‘No it isn’t.’ - Yes it is! ---
**Author:** ![Zenster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/cdc98d/32.png) [@Zenster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zenster)\ **Post date:** [December 7, 2000, 1:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hello-id-like-to-buy-an-argument/44401/15 "2000-12-07T01:06:43Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Jack Batty \* > \*\* > … -Look, if I argue with you, I must take up a contrary position. > > - Yes, but that’s not just saying ‘No it isn’t.’ > > - Yes it is! > \*\* Plato would be proud! [sub]THAT’S WHAT I’VE BEEN TELLING PEOPLE FOR 30 YEARS.[/sub] ---
**Author:** ![absoul](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/bc8723/32.png) [@absoul](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/absoul)\ **Post date:** [December 7, 2000, 1:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hello-id-like-to-buy-an-argument/44401/16 "2000-12-07T01:24:43Z")
M: Yes I have. If you’re arguing, I must have paid. A: Not necessarily. I could be arguing in my spare time. ---
**Author:** ![ren](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/ed655f/32.png) [@ren](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ren)\ **Post date:** [December 7, 2000, 1:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hello-id-like-to-buy-an-argument/44401/17 "2000-12-07T01:36:42Z")
No, your not doing it right. Hold you hands up to your head like this and say “WAAAAAAAAAAAAA”! ---
**Author:** ![Smeghead](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/f1d935/32.png) [@Smeghead](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Smeghead)\ **Post date:** [December 7, 2000, 1:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hello-id-like-to-buy-an-argument/44401/18 "2000-12-07T01:49:52Z")
Oh, this is pointless. No it isn’t. I’ve had enough. No you haven’t. (Does anyone else keep hearing “Whooosh” in this thread?) ---
**Author:** ![monkeylucifer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f05b48/32.png) [@monkeylucifer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/monkeylucifer)\ **Post date:** [December 7, 2000, 2:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hello-id-like-to-buy-an-argument/44401/19 "2000-12-07T02:52:44Z")
What a stupid concept. ---
**Author:** ![Zenster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/cdc98d/32.png) [@Zenster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zenster)\ **Post date:** [December 7, 2000, 3:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hello-id-like-to-buy-an-argument/44401/20 "2000-12-07T03:05:45Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Enderw23 \* > **I come here for an argument, and all I get is abuse. Please, Zenster, what in the world made you think I wanted a Monty Python routine spouted back at me?..** er… The fact that I saw them perform this live twenty years ago. Not to mention that when the major question was posed by Michael Palin; (Hah! If I haven’t paid you, then why are you arguing?). John Cleese folded his arms, turned to the audience and then delivered the chestnut of the entire skit; “Well, I could be arguing on my spare time!” [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hello-id-like-to-buy-an-argument/44401.md?page=2)