# Hello?! I'm NOT gay! **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [December 22, 2003, 3:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hello-im-not-gay/220407 "2003-12-22T03:57:37Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 16\ **Page:** 7
**Author:** ![elmwood](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/elmwood/32/3060_2.png) [@elmwood](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elmwood)\ **Post date:** [December 24, 2003, 7:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hello-im-not-gay/220407/121 "2003-12-24T19:14:53Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by NoClueBoy \* > **Okay, so it _is_ Oklahoma. The "Heart of the Heartland."** You have to do a lot in Oklahoma to give others the impression that you’re gay, compared to New Mexico. When I was living in Las Cruces, just about every Hispanic co-worker thought I was a “horto,” because I was in my then-mid 20s and single. That’s it. I should have gotten married right after high school, according to local custom. Because I didn’t, well … that made me gay, I suppose. Oh, my then-girlfriend … mid-20s, also single. Hispanics she encountered often thought she was a lesbian. ---
**Author:** ![Doomtrain](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/0ea827/32.png) [@Doomtrain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Doomtrain)\ **Post date:** [December 24, 2003, 7:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hello-im-not-gay/220407/122 "2003-12-24T19:24:40Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by The Long Road \* > \*\*Everyone, the main thing we are here to determine is if NoClueBoy is flaming or just in the closet. The dancing issue has been settled. As long as dancing is used as a means to accomplish your objective, tappin that ass, it is not gay. \*\* Yea, the most important rule in the Guy Rulebook, “Breaking All These Can Be Forgiven If You GET SOME!” ---
**Author:** ![tracer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tracer/32/20578_2.png) [@tracer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tracer)\ **Post date:** [December 24, 2003, 8:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hello-im-not-gay/220407/123 "2003-12-24T20:21:44Z")
So, [n]NoClueBoy\*\* … are you gay? ---
**Author:** ![AncientHumanoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ancienthumanoid/32/278_2.png) [@AncientHumanoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AncientHumanoid)\ **Post date:** [December 24, 2003, 10:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hello-im-not-gay/220407/124 "2003-12-24T22:13:03Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by tracer \* > So, **NoClueBoy** … are you gay? No. Maybe I have some mannerisms picked up from a childhood of living with a bi-guy. I can assure you I don’t swish. So, I like to look nice-ish every now and then. It’s not like I’m wearing leather chaps and a dog collar, a police uniform, or an Indian headdress. And if you saw me at work, you would usually see jeans and a t-shirt, sometimes quite filthy, too. Looking nice does not equal gay. And I ain’t handsome or pretty, either. Okay, who am I kidding? I’m gorgeous! :dubious: 41 and single? Maybe that’s unusual to you. My life hasn’t been that easy in regards to romance. A close friend once told me that I have a split personality in regards to girlfriends. I can make them feel worshipped and make them feel like shit. More of a product of growing up as the child of alcoholics than having gay issues, if you ask me. And, fyi… I’m getting better as I age and mellow out. Posting faggishly? Yeah, sometimes I do. I also post as a numbnut, a psycho, a geek Trekker, a _PIRATE!_, a know-it-all, and a freak. Irl, I’m only two of those things. In the closet or in denial? Think what you want. It was tough dealing with my Dad’s coming out, [but I did.](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?s=&threadid=182505) In my early 20s, I wondered if I might be gay/bi, too. So, I checked. How? Nunyadambidness. Suffice to say, [I am about 1-ish to 1.5-ish.](http://male101.com/edi/spectrum.html) Depends on my mood, I guess. I would put Dad at 3.5 to 4. Happy? 🙂 I am. ---
**Author:** ![The\_Long\_Road](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/b5a626/32.png) [@The\_Long\_Road](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Long_Road)\ **Post date:** [December 24, 2003, 11:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hello-im-not-gay/220407/125 "2003-12-24T23:32:21Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by 5que \* > \*\*No, man, Amy Madigan was really hot. > > \*\* [Please tell me you posted that while on drugs and that you are blind](http://www.dunas.com/amygrid.html) ---
**Author:** ![Gyrate](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gyrate/32/3588_2.png) [@Gyrate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gyrate)\ **Post date:** [December 24, 2003, 11:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hello-im-not-gay/220407/126 "2003-12-24T23:52:54Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by The Long Road \* > \*\*This is very strange because first you noticed the breasts but then stopped visual inspection of them to analyze her facial region. I think this goes beyond possibly gay and sounds more like a script for the X-files. \*\* What can I say – I have a _gestalt_ approach to determining how sexually attractive a women is. Nice breasts on a woman who puts on makeup with Homer Simpson’s makeup gun and dresses like a trailer park drag queen is like black truffles served with peanut butter – a tragic and unnecessary waste of something wonderful. Fortunately for me, the spouse is one hot cookie all over. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Ziactrice](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/3ab097/32.png) [@Ziactrice](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ziactrice)\ **Post date:** [December 25, 2003, 12:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hello-im-not-gay/220407/127 "2003-12-25T00:46:33Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by moriah \* > \*\*_ **Hellloooo?!** _ What straight man talks like a Valley Girl? > > Also, straight men ‘go out to eat,’ they **don’t** ‘dine.’ > > Straight men **don’t** dance, don’t admit they dance even if they can (but they can’t), and they certainly don’t have dancin’ shoes (even if they wanted to and could dance, which they can’t). However, straight men **do dance reluctantly** when cajoled to do so by their female date. > > Straight men **are not** ‘currently unattached romantically.’ They **are** ‘not screwing {nailing, doing} any pussy {fine piece of ass, hot mama}.’ > > Either embrace your ambiguously gay countrified version of metrosexuality, or butch up your act. > > 😃 > \*\* Omigod. This must mean that James Bond himself … is gay. Damn. I’m crushed! :eek: ---
**Author:** ![umop\_ap\_sdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/dbc845/32.png) [@umop\_ap\_sdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/umop_ap_sdn)\ **Post date:** [December 25, 2003, 8:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hello-im-not-gay/220407/128 "2003-12-25T08:12:14Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Eats\_Crayons \* > \*\*:smack: Why’d I do that? Now I have the “Hamster Dance” music stuck in my head. \*\* As performed by Men Without Rats! 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Hostile\_Dialect](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/e495f1/32.png) [@Hostile\_Dialect](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hostile_Dialect)\ **Post date:** [December 25, 2003, 7:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hello-im-not-gay/220407/129 "2003-12-25T19:55:46Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Jervoise \* > \*\* > > > [@](#): > > > > _Originally posted by fetus_ > > Oh, and speaking of drugs, haven’t you ever heard of raves? Plenty of straight men dance at raves without the assistance of alcohol, speed, ecstacy or a night of sex. > > 😕 They do? \*\* Yes. Most people over 30 seem to believe the hogwash about how every raver supposedly does drugs, and/or that it’s impossible to rave without being under the influence. I have friends who rave who are practically Straight Edge (Straight Edge:drugs::Vegan:meat). I also have friends who rave under the influence of ecstasy or cocaine. I also have friends who rave and are potheads, and would never rave stoned because they’d probably look pretty silly. I’ve done drugs and I’ve raved, but never at the same time. It’s just not a black-and-white issue–just like dancing and sexual orientation aren’t. ---
**Author:** ![Siege](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/dbc845/32.png) [@Siege](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Siege)\ **Post date:** [December 27, 2003, 11:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hello-im-not-gay/220407/130 "2003-12-27T11:02:45Z")
You know, **No Clue Boy** , you could always come out to my neck of the woods and prove to me you’re not gay! From what I’ve seen of you, I’d be happy to provide firsthand evidence, although maybe _not_ with photographs. Would reliable witnesses do? 😉 CJ (Who’s glad he’s not!) ---
**Author:** ![IWLN](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/b5ac83/32.png) [@IWLN](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/IWLN)\ **Post date:** [December 27, 2003, 11:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hello-im-not-gay/220407/131 "2003-12-27T11:18:30Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Siege \* > \*\*You know, **No Clue Boy** , you could always come out to my neck of the woods and prove to me you’re not gay! From what I’ve seen of you, I’d be happy to provide firsthand evidence, although maybe _not_ with photographs. Would reliable witnesses do? 😉 > > CJ > (Who’s glad he’s not!) \*\* Sounds like a good solution. Well except for the reliable witnesses. Too crowded for a prude like me. But give us every detail after. I’m not opposed to living vicariously.:o ---
**Author:** ![Siege](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/dbc845/32.png) [@Siege](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Siege)\ **Post date:** [December 27, 2003, 12:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hello-im-not-gay/220407/132 "2003-12-27T12:50:33Z")
Wa-a-ait a minute! At what point in the proceedings would it be considered safe to dismiss the “reliable witnesses”? Grumble, grumble, grumble. Shows what I get for posting before my morning cup of tea! Grumble, grumble, grumble ---
**Author:** ![IWLN](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/b5ac83/32.png) [@IWLN](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/IWLN)\ **Post date:** [December 27, 2003, 1:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hello-im-not-gay/220407/133 "2003-12-27T13:11:33Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Siege \* > \*\*Wa-a-ait a minute! At what point in the proceedings would it be considered safe to dismiss the “reliable witnesses”? Grumble, grumble, grumble. Shows what I get for posting before my morning cup of tea! Grumble, grumble, grumble \*\* It’s okay CJ. I think they can leave as soon as everyone knows he’s happy to see you.😉 (sigh, I guess we won’t be getting anything kinky from these two, move along folks) ---
**Author:** ![robertliguori](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/46a35a/32.png) [@robertliguori](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/robertliguori)\ **Post date:** [December 27, 2003, 2:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hello-im-not-gay/220407/134 "2003-12-27T14:05:51Z")
> [@](#): > > It’s okay CJ. I think they can leave as soon as everyone knows he’s happy to see you. Hah. This is the SDMB. If you’re going to use Siege as a cite, we’re going to need hi-res video, at least. ---
**Author:** ![AncientHumanoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ancienthumanoid/32/278_2.png) [@AncientHumanoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AncientHumanoid)\ **Post date:** [December 27, 2003, 2:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hello-im-not-gay/220407/135 "2003-12-27T14:17:19Z")
How about thermal imaging? (if you know what I mean…) Hi, **CJ**! 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![vanilla](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/f19dbf/32.png) [@vanilla](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/vanilla)\ **Post date:** [December 27, 2003, 3:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hello-im-not-gay/220407/136 "2003-12-27T15:22:25Z")
Honestly, NoClueBoy, you couldn’t do bettert han Seige,IMHO. 🙂 aren’t they a cute couple? [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hello-im-not-gay/220407.md?page=6)